Friday, August 31, 2007

National Safety Warning: Cooties

Nobody Flashes; After listening all week to the new national horror of what can happen to anyone who dares puts their tapping foot under a public bathroom stall...

This nobody wanted to remind the public that there is an even more insidious national problem that has existed since kindergarden.


Yes, we have all, at one time or another,
been falsely accused of infecting someone of usually the opposite sex with a germ that not only has never been seen, but if caught by a boy, can effect the psychological makeup of the boy as a young man...and his outlook on women for life.

The germ spreads to cover the adult male brain with red warning flashes of "run" every time the word "marriage" is spoken, never knowing that the cootie virus had been inside his body, festering, and just waiting for the right moment to infect his brain.

Cooties can be found in every little boy and girl under the age of six, most catcher's mitts, under school desks, in the halls of Congress, and has been known to love the comforts of Bill Clinton's cigar case.

So, the next time someone accuses you of giving them a "gay signal" or "cooties" be advised and proceed causiouly.

Keep your feet to yourself...and watch out for cooties.

This has been a national security public safety announcement.

Nobody can say, "I didn't warn ya!"


Thursday, August 30, 2007

Freemen: or "Community Service Workers?"

Nobody’s Opinion: John Adams once said: “There are but two sorts of men in the world, freemen and slaves.” And I have a feeling that the word “slave” has taken on a whole new meaning in the current media. It’s now called by the new Progressive, Democratic Party and their talking points for the population; “service.”

As in “community:” as in…donate your time freely to do whatever the government wants you to do…or else.

Our leaders know that now, due to all the previous unfair free trade agreements, America cannot compete with the third world countries, and that every second, thousands of Americans are losing their incomes and jobs.

All these unemployed, angry American people need to be doing something.

What happened here? Did the American multinational companies decide the only way to compete with the cheap labor in China was to get Americans to work for free?

Beat that China! We now have free labor!

President George Bush has told us that free trade is so good for America that our products will flourish in India, China and the Middle East.

What products? All our products are made in China, including now, most of our food supply.

And who to better sell this service concept but the master himself--- Bill Clinton. He will be making the rounds on all the talk shows next week promoting his new book called:

Giving: How Each of Us Can Change the World.”

I can think of a good way he could change the world. He could take the next trip to Mars.

They had to break it to us gently, didn’t they?

As all our past and current politicians were grabbing themselves life-long careers with mega-million dollar deals for themselves and their families, instead of protecting our manufacturing base, like all the other nations in the world were doing…they sold us out.


So they rewrote the books and made this big mistake on their part into an evolutionary fairy tale. Good for them, and five hundred of the most Forbian fortunate---not so good for the rest of us.

Alvin Toffler, the Future Shock planner for the elite, came in with a “third” way. Hey, we’ll just sell the word “service” they thought…make it sound futuristic, and cool, instead of what it really is:

Modern slavery.

Yes, America has now evolved into the new and exciting “service” economy…that old manufacturing business was just messing up our planet with messy smoke stacks, coal accidents, and horribly ugly light bulbs.

Grasp those Orwellian hamburger flippers---Jesus would be proud.

Our kids may not be able to read and write, add or subtract, and know when they are being manipulated into communism, but now, due to the fact that they have to put in so many hours of “community service” before they graduate, (which is now mandatory in many schools already) they will become excellent slaves…oops… I mean, upstanding “community service workers.”

Learning the art of telephone soliciting will come in handy around election time.

John Adams also said: “Freemen are not bound by laws to which they have not given their consent.”

Well, that’s a loaded gun.

I don’t remember voting on whether our children should have to spend time picking up trash along the highway instead of learning how to read at a fourth-grade level before graduating…do you? I also don’t remember when Congress was taken over in order to put rich companies and their bottom lines first before the American people.

No freeman in America consented to that. And certainly none of us consented to the horrendously high tax rates.

Freeman John Edwards wants the federal government to pay college tuition for all students who will work ten hours a week. Doing what? Working as free hairdressers to Congress?

Christopher Dodd also wants mandatory service--- not just from the high school students, but from all of us. He’d like us all to volunteer our “services” in foreign countries, where Americans are so well loved.

Can’t you just see boatloads of overweight hippies giving out baskets of condoms in Africa? Think they could get us on the planes?

John Adams, if alive today might say: “There are but two sorts of men in the world: Rich men and community service workers.”

Then he’d probably leave the country.

Hillary Clinton would be happy about that, because she has great “service” plans for us all. She has performed “community service” to China so much, her knees are turning red.

And the last thing she needs is a bunch of freemen stopping her upcoming slavery plans.


Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Go On, Have a Fag!

Nobody's Flashes: Many years ago, Senator Larry Craig could have claimed he was just asking for a smoke, when he was reaching underneath that bathroom stall...

Now, in 2007, it seems getting hit by a bus is one thing you can count on if you're a Republican in a very important state needed for the Democratic caucus in order to win the White House.

So this nobody suggests to Senator Craig...go ahead and have a fag! So far, you're chances of survival look pretty slim!


Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Gay Tapping "Rights" of a Senator

Nobody’s Opinion: There is good news! It is now illegal for a “gay” man to solicit another “gay” man anywhere in public! Senator Larry Craig, was caught tapping his foot in a public bathroom stall to signal (allegedly) gay intentions to another perhaps future potential “domestic partner.” (I know he’s married, but there’s always divorce.) So the democratic sheriff, who no doubt had been following this horrible aberration of a Republican for who knows how long---nabbed him, booked him for “lewd conduct,” and originally sentenced him to a fine of $1,000 dollars and ten days in jail.

Well, he says he’s not gay, and there will be no days in jail…of course.

Let’s see: A President can “rape” a woman, (according to Anita Broderick) solicit hundreds of government employees, even ruin their lives with threats, but…that’s not lewd.

Bill Clinton didn’t have to use the public restrooms, he had the Oval Office.

So are both parties now saying that tapping a foot in a public restroom is “lewd?”

This good news means that half of San Francisco can be arrested for making “lewd” initiations in public…fined, booked, and sent to jail since most of their conduct is done in public rest rooms, bath houses, and vacations to Disneyworld, where they can hold each other’s cute little buns, on “Come on and hold your other’s cute little bun day!” Think of the tax revenue they will collect!

Arnold will have the state of California green AND pink in no time!

How California governor Arnold Schwartzenegger is going to deal with this news is hard to say. When he was running for governor, he was saying that he believed that marriage was between a man and a woman.

That was before the Democrats took over Congress. Now, he supports changing all the laws, going once again against the voter’s wishes (proposition 22) and supporting “gay” marriages by just getting rid of the word “marriage” once and for all. From now on, the new laws, if passed, will give everyone who wants to make their union legal permission to enter a “domestic partners” state contract.

Just change the words. It works every progressive time.

We all know that Democrats support gays…believe they should have marriage rights, and go around kissing and hugging their partners in front of families who are trying to raise heterosexual children. That’s why Barney Franks, even after running a gay prostitution ring in his home, is still in the Congress. Barney made sure he took his own partners to the public houses.

Wait,---that might have not been true? Barney only dated a male prostitute.

Nowadays, it doesn’t matter, what matters is who wants to get rid of you.

Tom Cruise was crucified for jumping up and down on a couch on Oprah and saying he was in love. Redstone got rid of him after that “lewd” outburst.

So, why aren’t the Democrats coming out of the woodworks to defend this man? After all, they believe that all gays are normal: and it’s certainly not lewd to teach gay normality in our “public” schools. It’s not lewd to have them kiss on our televisions, even if it grosses out every heterosexual in the nation. We now have gay sitcoms where gay solicitations are talked about constantly on public national frigging television, a very public place I might add.

So…a nobody asks…where’s the beef?

How in the world are the gays suppose to find mates if they can’t do it in public?

Newspaper adds aside…gays, like heterosexuals have to go somewhere to meet their “mates.” And it’s usually in public, right? That’s where the heterosexuals met. So shouldn’t they have same rights as us? Isn’t that what they have been complaining about?

Barney Franks, a proud homosexual, gives us the answer: “The Republicans do think homosexuality is a crime.” Therefore, to Barney if you are a republican and gay, you are a hypocrite. If you are a Republican Senator, you should lose your job, because it’s your base’s right to know you’re being a hypocrite.

Well, maybe Barney’s district is all gay, and Larry Craig’s is not, so therefore, Larry IS doing his job, which is to represent the people in his district. You could say he wanted to represent the people of his state so badly, that he hid his homosexuality.

Makes sense to me.

Well, gee, we all know what this is about. The Clinton’s have always made sex scandals one of the most powerful weapons in their political war arsenal. The fight for power is going to get real nasty, as it has in the past.

The Clintons will have Larry Flynt and all the “undercover” sheriffs they can put on George Soros’s payroll. Any sex scandal is a good one.

And yet, no one will ever question why a woman, whose husband has had one sexual affair after another throughout their whole marriage, never got divorced.

Was it power? Was it money? Or could it be, like many have suggested…Hillary just doesn’t solicit in public.

So, the question is; is Air Force One considered “public” property? Or is it privately owned by the President? Is the Oval Office considered a “public” area?

Will we ever have a “gay” republican President?

Only when the American feet stop tapping.


Monday, August 27, 2007

Is It The Marboro Man? Or Brokeback Putin?

Nobody Flashes: Well...if you live long enough, you will see things that you never expected!

Like those stupid bell bottoms coming back into fashion, actually paying for water in bottles, television that used to be free, now costing half your salary, corn being grown to feed cars instead of people, and half your local nightly news updates including updates on a singing contest. All these were a bit surprising.

Not to mention 9/11...let's not even go there.

But, not as much as this: A Russian President imitating the man who brought Russia down; the last elected official it seemed America could trust; Ronald Reagan.

So, is Putin trying to get "elected" again by showing off his masculine side? Does this mean he wants the "homosexual" vote? Is he hanging out with the Clintons at Jackson hole with Ralph Lauren?

Is the horse's name Buddy?

It was reported that this picture was taken in Russia, but it looks more like North Dakota to me. Maybe since the French President decided to take his vacation in America, Putin thought he would show he could do it too.

I wouldn't doubt if he wasn't looking for a ranch to buy.

Anyway, this picture proves that all these rulers listen just a little too closely to their PR people. Putin should have learned from Al Gore's mistake, where he couldn't figure out what to wear to get elected, and therefore threw the election because no one could believe that he couldn't figure out what to how could he rule anything?

Just a nobody point.

I actually like his new western look. Now, if he would just stop having war games with China.


Sunday, August 26, 2007

Castro...Can You Hear Me NOW?

Nobody’s Opinion: In Miami tonight…on the sidewalks, on the beach, while the sun goes down, millions of Cubans are sweating profusely in their sarongs and panama hats, almost withering in pain while waiting for the news…Is he dead yet?

Castro, it is reported…could be dead. So could bin Laden for that matter…but right now, in Miami, millions of Cubans are keeping the cell phones on, waiting to make that call to relatives so far away:

“Can you hear me now?”

So…when are they going to announce it? Chavez no doubt, will come out and claim that Castro gave him Cuba to rule. Castro knows a good “yes” man when he meets one. Look how long he kept the bearded guy on all the T-shirts around.

Hugo Chavez will no doubt make a special trip to the UN just to announce, once again, that “Fidel Castro will never die!” and most of the room along with Sean Penn and Michael Moore, will break out in applause. Can you see Raul, Castro’s brother doing it? Let’s face it---Raul has the personality of a limp potato.

Chavez is almost a shoe-in to be the new Cuban dictator…after all; he gave Castro a bedside phone just to keep in touch.

This news got me thinking tonight and about my favorite Cuban--Oscar Gonzales.

Oscar Gonzales was in my 6th grade class in Naples, Florida, back during the first Spanish Invasion…back around the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Back when I came home from school one day and found my father digging a hole in the back yard, which he told me that he intended to fill it with pork and beans. (More about that later)

Oscar Gonzales was from Cuba. And Oscar, like many Cubans who came to America to flee Castro…had a very strong sense of justice.

Yes, Oscar, my hero, stood up to the class bully, to protect the class damsel in distress, which was--- me. The guy’s name was Scott Black, and he was built like a Norwegian Bull Moose with all of the gas to go with it.

Every day I came home with huge black and blue marks from where Scott would “frog” my shoulder. I suppose, looking back, it was Scott’s pubertal way of getting my attention. But, every time Scott would hit me, Oscar would get on him.

Then one day, Oscar could take it no more. The teacher, who had left the room for some reason, did not witness the fight. Oscar dove into Scott with such ferocity that all the desks were pretty much destroyed. And it wasn’t skinny Oscar that came out the loser. A bully had been tamed.

Back then, the teachers seemed much brighter. The politically correct system that we have today was not in place. When all the kids told the teacher exactly what happened, Scott was expelled, not Oscar, which was the right thing to do.

Today, Oscar would have been expelled for fighting the class bully.

Oscar and I went on to become great friends. Oscar loved America, and he and the other Cuban in our grade school, Patricia, made top grades and spook great English…and they both learned it in a year.

The teachers praised their hard work, and reminded the other students how Oscar and Patricia had to work to not only learn our language, but to master all the subjects.

Every kid in the school was so very proud of them. I mean it. We loved those kids.

But now, we face a second invasion, from a people who run here to make money. Not for “freedom,” and not to learn the language or be an American. Sadly, some of them see no injustice in committing crimes, taking free welfare, and almost becoming bullies themselves to the Americans who live here, as if we owe them a living.

Nobody has talked much about the difference in the two “invasions.” The Cuban and the Mexican.

But I bet if Oscar Gonzales was here…he would say: “Stop it…or else.”

Sometimes I wonder whatever happened to Oscar. Not only did he draw me beautiful pictures that I still have to this day, he taught me that one should always stand up to a bully, something that it seems many "progressive" Americans have forgotten.

It would be so nice to call up Oscar…who is probably somewhere in Florida, maybe sitting with his parents who fled so long ago from the horrors of the bully of Havana...

Call him up and say...”Hey Oscar…can you hear me?”


As for my dad….he didn’t get far with his bomb shelter. I’m not sure if it was the water he hit at six feet, or the fact that being stooped up with my 14-year-old brother for three weeks with nothing to eat but pork and beans was a thought too much to bear for his younger sister. Dad probably thought he’d take his chances with Castro.