Nobody Flashes Anymore:
Yesterday, Hillary Clinton was giving one of her famous talks on her campaign trail to becoming the first woman President in American history, and at the end of her very exciting speech she told one of her poignant and pregnant-filled memories, one of particular great bravery and daring.
Once upon a time, while the current President George W. Bush was in Iraq killing helpless Iraq's and terrorists, in this great country of ours, she said--- the famous legendary BIGFOOT got sick. He was in dire need of medical help, so he went to a local hospital.
Because BIGFOOT had no insurance, he was turned away. As you can see from this picture...he wandered into the surrounding forest to die.
Besides, he couldn't even fit through the front door, being as the hospital had not made the proper preparations for just this event.
Clearly, this should not happen in our United States of America, and Hillary found it deplorable.
Immediately upon hearing of this outrage, Hillary sent five hundred of her personal body guards, 2,000 troops, and Monica Lewinsky to find BIGFOOT and put him on a stretcher.
But BIGFOOT, did not want to go anywhere. In fact, he was pretty upset that all these years people had made fun of him, and because of our trade policies, he couldn't even find work.
Not to mention, he'd like to go to Disneyland.
So, the brave and fearless Hillary came to his rescue, with free universal health care. She sent in Jimmy Carter to build him a house around him, complete with a swimming pool the size of ten football stadiums where he could bath. Oprah came in and supplied him with a year's supply of free food. Bill Clinton made sure that all his energy needs were supplied by solar power. Bill Gates donated a giant X-BOX, with the latest video games.
But the best end to the story was this; When BIGFOOT feels better, he will be Hillary's guest, on a boat built just for him...to go with Hillary when she goes to China....
Because it was in China, on one of her many important missions around the world, that she was once almost stepped on by a female BIGFOOT, who was shooting at her with two heavy cannons, one in each hand, narrowly escaping death.
Of course, after telling this story, there were people in the audience that thought she made it all up just to get everyone to understand just how badly we are in need universal health care, and a loving woman President.
But I don't, because this time...Hillary left her footprint.
And if you believe this, then I suggest you change your medication, because you're going to need it if she manages to become President.
Remember, it's not over til' Obama's mother sings "Sweet Chariot."