Friday, September 21, 2007

Bandito Cabs Discovered

Nobody Knows: One day, we were just America---then all of a sudden, we had over 50 million illegal Mexicans opening up roofing companies, nanny services, and Taco Bells in all fifty states; Taking many lucrative jobs from high school dropouts, because let's face it---you can't operate an I-Pod or a cell phone and pick grapes at the same time.


Nobody knew just exactly how they had so quietly sneaked into the country. After all, they certainly didn't WALK in!

Well, now the secret is out. A man named Roberto Estrada, has made millions, renting out the latest in desert transportation...a new kind of horse that can take 8 people at once, over scorching landscapes...saving lives, preserving water, and bringing many a pregnant Nina to the promised land of free health care, college, and United States number one suckers: the college drop out.

Roberto has been raising these horses...called Bandito Burrito Cabs for over twenty years. He even has a US Patent.

Since the secret is out now, and YOU would like to rent his special Bandito Cabs, just call him at the office of Ted Kennedy.

But hurry, the run to the Canadian border is on, and Roberto is renting on a first come, first serve basis.

Remember, planes have terrorists, cars take lots of money, but a Bandito Burrito Cab is a very enjoyable way to travel!

All you need to do is supply the oats!

Roberto is working on a Camel Bandito Cab as we speak, patent pending.


Thursday, September 20, 2007

ARtfidgr Recriminates Nobody, Part I

Nobody’s Opinion: Last week I wrote one of my usual Nobody’s Opinion pieces called, “Who Really Owns Us?” and was really excited to discover that a guy named ARtfidgr (which could be short for Art the refrigerator) had actually commented to great length about what he thought were grave mistakes in my little ranting. He found so much to refute, that he wrote over seven pages.

Oh my goodness…how “interesting!”

The excitement didn’t last long because the more I read, the nastier it got…maybe this guy was suffering from some kind of male menopause I thought…should I suggest a new Mustang, with leather interior and a navigation system?

After all, I certainly meant no harm by anything I said.

The man seemed to have many misconceptions about me---one being that I’m a socialist. So I figured…hey; I’m not taking this sitting down! No! I intend to get up once in a while and clean the house while taking on his “opinions.”

Maybe even eat a tuna sandwich.

After all, I just got for free from my local library, a book called, “How Men Think; The Seven Essential Rules for Making it in a Man’s World,” by Adrienne Mendell, M.A., and Rule Six says that “Fighting is Part of the Game.” Men love a good fight!

Well...huyaa…or heeya. (I have a high voice.) I’d better get with the program.

And because I have been advised by various gargoyles to keep my pieces short, this might take a few blogs.

I also have other things to do besides trying to make points on “facts” that may or may not be true, when “facts” are presented as “opinions,” and one man’s “fact” is another man’s “opinion.” Still, Artfidr deserves at least a rebuttal for taking his valuable time to make himself feel so superior to a nobody.

And I certainly owe him that.

So, in order not to have to type Artfidgr for the next few weeks, I’m going to just refer to him as Art---which will probably get me in trouble with him, but I already am, so it doesn’t matter.

Right? Great. Here we go…

Art started out his comments on my piece “Who Really Owns Us”, by complaining that I had reported a “fact,” that on 9/11, I had received pictures in my e-mail of never-before-seen videos (at least by me) of the twin towers falling, and from this I had deduced that because I had never seen these pictures, I came to the opinion that a lot of the video pictures we see not only from this event, but much of the time, is controlled.

I could have strengthened my opinion with the fact that most videos shots of suicidal people jumping off the towers was completely omitted…due to the sensitive nature of those in control not wanting to incite a whole nation to maybe go walking into Arab owned filling stations, and pumping gasoline---maybe lighting a match. Can’t have that.

But, dummy me, I didn’t.

Art made the remark: “That’s a huge leap.”

He said I was making a sweeping commentary on no facts, forgetting the “fact” that he was reading my opinion.

To sum up Art’s “opinion,” he went into the whole process of explaining how many people are paid to take pictures and then submit them to the various newspapers and magazines (as if I didn’t know that), while forgetting the “fact” that in my article I was basically talking about the same repeating videos on TV, of the two towers falling down, not the process of how the various media’s get their stuff.

At this point, I am inclined to forgive him because I’m a woman, and women don’t want to fight. I’ll admit that I did use the word “media” instead of “video.” But…if Art had read my whole article, he would have known what I was referring too.

Wait…I’m not supposed to act like a girly man here.

Art, you idiot.

Art then said, “Newspapers and magazines, if you haven’t noticed (You talking to me?) are not independent any more.”

Gee Art…you proved what I was pointing out---the media is being controlled. Did you mean to do that? What happened? Did Brittany Spears come on the TV while you were typing?

Art goes on; “What happens is that a few news agencies and such dominate everything.”

Bravo, Art, you just supported my opinion again!

Then Art goes on to educating this nobody to some more of his “facts.”

He said that everyone competes for the same photos, paying big bucks, and because they have paid such big bucks, someone decides that “Well, that’s enough money to spend.” And Voila! Everyone else just uses the same pictures over and over again!

Money is the reason we see the same pictures over and over, not an editor trying to “control” what the masses are seeing.

Art then says, “Better photos wouldn’t sell more papers.”

Well Art, are you sure about that? Is that a “fact?”

If one paper has a picture of Brittany Spears getting out of a limo without underwear on, and another paper has the same shot, but did not actually catch that revealing shot, but instead, just a shot of her legs, which one will sell the most?

Art continues; “News people take crud off the wire, and have liars write fluff, and socialists write stuff, and feminists spewing…”

There you go Art, agreeing with me again.

On page two, Art then goes onto another subject, and I’m saving Art’s best stuff for a later date.

As far as my “opinions” of the images of 9/11 media being controlled, when having an argument about what is “fact” and what is “opinion,” all I can say is---Art, we are getting into the esoteric semantics of a gargantuan argument, and one of which you can point a finger at almost every one who ever wrote a fact, or gave an opinion.

Government Reported Fact; One bullet killed JFK.

See what I mean?

On the subject of media control I based my “opinion” on two things:

1. On every single cable channel, I keep seeing the same things over and over. You say its money. I say its control.

2. Sometime ago I read a book which explained how the White House has whole offices set up to monitor and control…down to the very second, different news outlets, daily. (When I get the money to hire a research assistant, or a day to look through all my 6,000 books to find the exact passages, I will report it)

Hey, I’m just a nobody who writes her opinions.

But you don’t have to be a nobody to know that many very important stories do not get out into the public, and some just get released at the opportune time.

Just like today...we turn on our TVs to find race riots in different American cities due to an incident that happened a year ago.

Gee…why report it now? No money in the story a year ago?

My opinion is that many editors and owners of different media outlets not only control how the news is reported, but when, and with what opinion they might have.

The Al Gore “global warming” propaganda is a perfect example.

In the end, Art, it’s still my “opinion” based on observations collected through the years, just like yours, we can argue facts all we want, what fun!

Part II, where I will go on with Art’s opinions on my opinions, will come later.

Wait for it. Right now, I have to walk the dogs.


Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Will the Real Man Please Stand Up

Nobody Flashes: Despite what you may think, even though Rosie O'Donnell is not on The View anymore, she is getting all of her friends to boycott the program, due to the great hatred and fear she has for the only conservative voice on the show...a sweet pretty girl named Elizabeth.

Barry Man-low...has now refused to ever go on again because of Rosie's little spat with Elizabeth from which she quit the show.

If this keeps up, the view might actaully get some other friends of Rosie's to boycott...Barbara Striesand, Boy George, Martha Stewart, Alex Ballwin, Hillary Clinton...Tom Cruise.

This could actually bring up the ratings.

I would like to congraulate Ms. Elizabeth, for her hard work in upsetting the two biggest diva's known to mankind...Chevez and Bill Clinton... mean...Barry Manilow and Rosie O'Donnell.

And so, just out of respect, I have rewritten the words to "I Write the Songs"

Dedicated to Miss time, she should just hand Rosie a bat.

"You did a good thing for humanity"
"You showed that silly Rosie how a good woman should beeeeee"
"She might be loud, but she is always wrong"
"And now, thank god, the girl is gone."


Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Three Forks in the Road

Nobody’s Opinion: America, it seems, has come to a big fork in the road, one way leads to more tyranny, the other to just survival.

The slippery slop to fascism gets more evident with every passing day.

The expression…“fork in the road” has been used so many times, we tend to forget just how often in life we have to choose one road or another, and how the wrong choice can affect whole generations.

Nevertheless, when you come to that fork in the road, and have to decide which way to go…in the case of a nation surviving, I suggest we forget the old saying about taking the one less traveled. If we take that one, unlike some creative endeavor of individual originality, America might instead end up on some future map of,Once Upon a Time, there was a great nation.”

Better to go the way of our founders, which historically has been the light of the world, then down the dark “progressive” road of socialism and communism, which is where we are headed.

Coming up in our future, are some rather major decisions. We are standing at that fork, and what we do now will determine our children’s future and our own.

As most forks in the roads…it won’t be an easy decision.

FORK ONE: The Presidential Election, 2008: While Bill and Hillary Clinton have the extreme unfair advantage of actually being able to run two people for one office at once, (Make no mistake, that’s exactly what they are doing.) they also, like the Bush’s have a global agenda.

But unlike Bush’s agenda, it gives America up to the whole world, not just Mexico and Canada.

It’s in all of their speeches.

Bill has been laying the roadwork with his Clinton’s Global Initiative plans, and his new book on how wonderful it is for everyone to just give, earning him lots of kudu’s from even conservatives who should know better. Once this power couple is in office, this “giving” will no longer be the “feel-good about your self,” voluntary church-like dogma, but will morph into federal mandatory law.

Remember, Bill started the mandatory “public service” for graduation in our public schools…and you ain’t seen nothin' yet.

Their political pandering’s are right out of the communist manifesto: “To each his need…to each according to his ability.” Hillary has already said that…she just knows you are too stupid to know the concept.

Bill and Hillary will decide what is right for you. You will no longer have a choice in your life. You will be dictated as to your eating habits (Bill has already taken over the schools, and he wasn’t even in our government.)

You will continue to have no say in your children’s education, but you will also have no say in your rising taxes, health care, property, or even, right to life. And most people will accept this loss of freedom.

They already do.

America will give it’s sovereignty up to an international court. Your rights will be trumped by someone’s need in Africa. Think I’m kidding? Just listen to them.

On the other hand, the Republicans, lead by George W. Bush; seem to be just as bad.

Will Rudy fight this corruption? Would Thompson? Who knows? But, do you want to take that road marked, “Marxist Internationalist’s Lane?

I say we go to the right.

FORK TWO: The war in Iraq---go to the left, we pull out: go to the right, we stay.

If we pull out, it will mean probably more destruction over here in American. It’s a global storm that has been brewing for many years. Bill Clinton just ignored it.

After all, Bill Clinton’s sweet Southern charm did not work with Arafat, did it? But they don’t want you to remember that.

All those liberal James Carvell’s talking points coming out of bin Laden’s mouth, should be taken just as what they are; the Democratic Party wishes.

When Castro, bin Laden, and the leaders of China, want Hillary Clinton to be elected President; all true Americans should be running to the voting booths to destroy their wishes.

After all, her husband gave our weapons of mass destruction secrets to our enemies to kill us with, and will continue to do so.

Despite all of George W. Bush and his daddy’s global “business” agendas…don’t buy the lie that the Clintons don’t work for the multinationals business' too.

Don’t insult the legacy of Ron Brown.

So, which road do we choose? If we leave Iraq, and risk Iran’s takeover of all the remaining oil fields, since Chavez is also our enemy, where will we go for the fuel we need as a nation?

We won’t even be able to fuel up the tank.

FORK THREE: This brings us all to the road to Mexico, who would have the last remaining oil fields for the United States.

We all now know, the road to Mexico has already been taken by our government, of both parties, and it’s the wrong road. Many of us are already crying out for a pit stop.

They are not listening. Instead, they have stepped on the gas pedal.

So, what do we do? Stop the car? Change drivers? Refuel?

Personally, I would crash the whole damn thing and start over---it seems our whole political machinery is rusted to the core---but that’s just me.

So, which way do we go?Right or left?

We need to make up our minds soon, because when America’s freedom, liberty and strength goes, so goes the world, and then all roads will lead to nowhere.


Monday, September 17, 2007

A Las Vegas View From Whoopi

Nobody Flashes: UPDATE: Whoopi Goldberg, the gal about town who will not only tell you her view on life, but also how boring sex is to her now that her boobs have dropped down past Texas, and how her most favorite thing to do is bash George W. Bush, and how many liberals it takes to screw in one of those new light bulbs after they've figured out it wasn't a sex toy after all:

Has just heard that O.J. Simpson was arrested in Las Vegas.

To which she said, "You know, I KNOW he got busted, but you gotta realize--that in Las Vegas, if some guy steals another man's shit, that man will come after you with a GUN! Especially if the man who steals the stuff is a white man!...It's a lot like I told you about the dog fighting thing...these things are just part of the stuff that happens gotta know that. It's just the way O.J. thinks's a normal thing, ya know? And I also heard that O.J. did not get his shit back! I mean, what's he suppose to do? Call the police?"

Barbra Walters had no comment---because I made this Whoopi would say, shit happens.


Sunday, September 16, 2007

Soylent Greenspan

Nobody’s Opinion: So, the great Alan Greenspan has come out at last and said that the Iraq war was all about the oil, President Bush is a weenie, and Bill Clinton is just the greatest President that ever lived if only he hadn’t of fallen so deep into a Monica.

At least that’s the jest of it.

Oh---and he was a big friend and fan of Ayn Rand.

Why even mention that? So that all us nobodies will think that Hillary Clinton and her husband are good for our American lives and elect them back into office?

Yes: Elect Hillary Clinton and make the Chinese, Castro, Putin, and Alan Greenspan very happy.

So, whose side was Alan on? All those years he claimed “no inflation” no matter who was President.

I frankly got sick of all his lies.

Sorry Alan, we here in Middle America know better. You worked for the rich, while we were paying for one hundred and fifty dollar Nike’s. You were “Singing In the Rain” with every huge multinational monopolistic merger, while standing side by side with every single President.

All in the name of “free trade.”

Now, surprise, surprise…you are also jumping ship. Just like your good friend Bill Clinton, who you admire so much, you want to blame someone else for our country’s sorry state…you were just doing your job.

That’s what all the generals said at the Nuremburg trials.

What?…You want us to think that, “We must all sacrifice our progressive lives and good fortune, not to mention, ration our water and toilet paper for the good of mankind,” Hillary Clinton is…dare I say it…a Neo-con in disguise? Or do we need a new word for her?

Yes, Hillary is now one of the good old boys.

I don’t pretend to know much about economics, but one thing is for sure; If Alan Greenspan had been so great, why is America going to be surpassed soon by China and India soon in Gdp growth? After all, he’s been at the helm for over two decades now.

Of course it’s all about the oil. And if we don’t have oil, we can’t survive, and we will be attacked.

Our Presidents are being held by their political gonads because our Congresses (mostly the democrats) have failed to develop our own oil fields.

And why is that? Funny, isn’t it? Both parties won’t talk about that much. What secret agreement was signed…and when?

More importantly, who has stock in the New Energy Development?

This weekend on C-span, it was mentioned in passing by James Woolsey, (X-Director of the CIA) that it was the Saudi’s Oil development that help us bring down the Soviet Union. To wreak a country, you must destroy it financially.

Other countries are really enjoying our financial demise, make no mistake.

So what was the exchange for that favor?

“We the Royal House of Arabs will help you bring down the Soviet Union, but in return, you must never develop your own oil reserves, and you must protect our kingdom with your military…we have crazy cousins who want to destroy us.”

“In the meantime, you must allow our people into your country to spread Islam, and we will let your companies into our territory.”

So, if our government knew we would become completely at the mercy of the Saudi’s and their oil…why did they not do something?

Stock options? Interest rates?

Remember on 9/11, the only planes allowed to fly were the American military ones picking up all the Arabs all over the place, with the help of Clinton’s boy, Wesley Clark.

Didn’t make sense to all of us, but it was an order from the Saudis, you can bet on it.

Yes, our government has let one huge merger after another go through year after year, the big fish swallowing up, not only the little fish, but every single tadpole in the ocean. From coast to coast, the United States is just one big fast food shopping mall. Every place looks pretty much the same.
While the Chinese pump millions, into our democratic politician’s pockets, the American people, too bad, will just have to compete with the sweatshops.

To Alan Greenspan and the boys…it’s all about the numbers.

Somehow, I don’t think it was quite what Ayn Rand had in mind.

But Charles Heston, if he could speak today, would tell us to go watch Soylent Green
And expand our imaginations to a globalist called Alan Greenspan, least the American people become the next tasty wafer.