Friday, February 13, 2009

Happy Valentines Day!

Happy Valentines Day!
Quick! Celebrate it NOW before they outlaw it so as not to offend the Islamic among us all!
I want to believe that we will wake up from all these nightmares...the fires in Australia, the plane crash in New York, the 111st Congress, Jimmy Carter...Hillary Clinton in China, Bill Clinton going after talk radio...
A stimulus bill whose ONLY redeeming factor is a fast-rail train going from Disneyland to Las Vegas...
A President named Obama...
I also want to believe that Mulder and Scully will someday come back to TV where they belong.
On Valentine day, I wish you all hugs and warm kisses with the man or woman of your choice..and if you happen to be alone...then know I'll be your valentine, and your in my heart.
Who says we can only have just one? Life is too short.
See ya on Sunday!


Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Hybrid Nurse

Nobody Flashes on a Thursday:

In the deep hours of this cold February night, the 111st Congress is busy at work, putting in some very much needed money to stimulate, well, anyone who is liberal, and is in need of stimulation, which is all of them.

In fact, so much stimulation is going on in the halls of Congress tonight, that tomorrow, Congress is expected to be up-graded to an XXXXXXX rating.

You will be advised to watch at your own discretion.

Somewhere in-between the millions for the brand new "green" electric golf carts, (p. 23-24) and the new "green" million-dollar face lift for Nancy Pelosi, (p. 569-2000)the House has passed another eight trillion dollars for the new "green, computer nurses" (p. 566-567) These darlings will on batteries, and can go for a good two hours before being recharged!

Yes, these cool energy-efficient little green nurses will cut Medicare expenses in half, according to Draggle-tail Daschle, and in order to save money for the Universal Health Care of the future...we must first build the newly ordered two-million mechanical robot nurses. Harry Reid has suggested for a tax to be put on every hamburger sold in the US, in order to raise the money to pay back our banks, and our Congress, and the CEO's and China, and Japan, and Larry King's hair stylist.

Basically, everyone that has a governmental job.

These things don't happen overnight. After all, these mechanical nurses will be replacing many good jobs, millions of nurses will be laid off. This will take time says Obama, so they will probably be finished and set to go, in the last years of Obama's second term.

Yep, all you will have to do is just plug them up to the electrical grid! They come with a remote control so that you can even have them in your home, thereby saving that call for 911! Congress is working hard on a law, that by the year 2012, all hospitals must be equiped with nothing but "green robot nurses."

There is still time, for the hosptals to upgrade their electrical grids, and the morgues to get ready for the rush.

One small step for Obama...One giant step for paying off the national debt.


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Cast-Iron Philosophy of Malcolm Gladwell

Nobody Cares: The first time I saw this guy was on Charlie Rose. I thought to myself, “Well, there’s a really exciting combination of DNA!” And it was obvious as soon as he opened his mouth, that he was some kind of genius…some kind of savant…one of those kids who I could picture reading the Wall Street Journal at the age of five. He looked like a Jewish mulatto…with the face of a Raphael angel---not something you see every day, at least not here in the middle of America.

But it was his hair that I couldn’t take my eyes off. It was the, “Ain’t Gonna Work On Maggie’s Farm No More” Bob Dylan of the sixties. Thankfully, he didn’t sound like Bob, his voice was young, and smooth to listen to, and his almost child-like enthusiasm was very hypnotic. I wanted to take him out to the sandbox and play, “What’s in the Universe Now?”
Here was a young man who had retained his innocence because of his vast curiosity and intelligence…you don’t see that often.

His name was Malcolm Gladwell, and he had just written a new book called, Outliers.
Basically, it’s about how geniuses and famous people do not always just rise to the top of the heap by sheer will-power alone. (Despite what Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, and most television and radios pundits will tell you.) You must take into account what year and month you were born, what class you were born into, and if you are coming in at the right historical moment in time.

Not to mention, your “cultural” background plays a much bigger part than Big Bird.

Most of us know this fact… we’re just not allowed to whimper about it when we fail.

Anyway, I usually try to get something out of every book I read, and Malcolm really helped me today. No--it wasn’t because I thought of some big universal thesis on how to write a Global Constitution FOR the people, although, someone should do this before our current culture of Marxist globalists do it…

No, Malcolm helped me with my cast-iron pipes, bless his heart: And here’s how.

You see, Malcolm does an in-dept analysis on plane crashes in the book, and some reasons why they occur. Along with the usual bad weather etc, it seems, in some “cultures” the co-pilots are just too scared to speak up the Captain if something goes wrong. Instead of shouting, “LOOK OUT! WE ARE ABOUT TO CRASH!” they say something really…polite, like, “Okay, not much gas left.” so as not to offend.
Any human that is married understands this rule all too well, which is why couples should not be allowed to fly planes together. Many would also say couples should not drive together, but that’s a whole other blog…
So, back to the story---Last week, my kitchen sink filled up with water, and basically…stayed filled, for three days straight. So, I got this guy to come out and put down a hose, and then he says, “Oh…somewhere underneath your basement, we don’t know where, a pipe is completely shattered. See…there’s a foot of mud on the end of this line.”

Great. Mud

So, I called three plumbers for estimates and they all told me the same thing: We can’t TELL you how much it will cost until we send a camera down and “locate” it. This will cost you $150 dollars. Every single plumber quoted the same price.

After talking with my insurance company, I decided on a plumber, and they said, “Well we have to do a “locater, camera” search first.”


Over comes this guy today, and he comes down into the basement, pulls off a small piece of the wall, and says, “Here’s my bid (don’t ask) and by the way--you owe me today, $250 dollars.”


Now, any other day, I might have written him a check, but not today. I remember how Malcolm said that rich people feel and ACT entitled. And since I’m poor, about the only thing I feel entitled to is fries with my Happy Meal.

So, remembering Malcolm’s words…I acted, “entitled.”

I said, with great authoritative bluster, “I beg to differ sir!”

And I said it to a young and very well built black man, who according to Malcolm’s theory, might be a descendant of the great Abubu tribe where they ripe off heads and eat them with mango’s, thereby prone to getting very angry for all I knew.

You did nothing here.” I replied. “You did no search--I see no will get paid, when my insurance pays you.” And I said it very calmly, but firmly.

And in this politically correct world, that took guts.

WOW! It took two seconds before he became a puppy. “Well, I couldn’t do a search because your basement is finished and it would have gotten mud…etc. “

Now, Malcolm certainly would never guess, in a million years, that his great piece of work would help out some idiotic nobody in the middle of nowhere. Let’s keep that a secret shall we?
If he knew, he might feel I own him $250 dollars, which would spoil the whole lesson.

But you can do yourself a pretty big favor—do read his book. It’s full of Thomas Paine common sense, wonderfully written, well researched, very original in thought, and if you feel like you’ve been a genius all your life, and yet, can’t understand for the life of you, why you are not winning Nobel prizes…

Malcolm is going to make your day! He certainly did mine.


Tuesday, February 10, 2009

How Stupid Are We?

Nobody Knows:
Just how stupid are we?
America: A country where all the doctors, life-saving pills, surgeries, hospital stays, are so expensive that if not for health insurance, only the super, super rich could afford to get treatment.
And due to the high cost of even a bandage used in our medical system, it is reported that our companies cannot compete with all the other countries on the earth DUE to our companies having to pay for the high cost of medical insurance, therefore, our jobs go overseas.
America: A country where higher education is so far beyond the reach of the average "working class" American family, that only the very rich, can afford to go to our best universities, therefore we are ruled by rich kids from Harvard, Yale, and Rockefeller's Chicago University. We are controlled by an oligarchy by the rich and for the rich, who are not any smarter than the lower classes but, have a definite advantage due to birth.
And if you have millions, you can do what Goldie Hawn does on a yearly basis...regenerate.
So, here's the question this nobody wants to know: Was this the result of a free market? Is this what everyone is expressing when they say America is the being the best country in the world?
Now: before you think I approve the Universal Health Care system that Obama and the Marxists in Congress have just push down our throats to further control and destroy America with...remember, how tyrants have always ruled...with fear, and that good old simple formula--
...Cause the problem, then come in with the solution.
We do not have a FREE market system NOW...there is very little "competition..the big international banks and companies own just about everything...therefore...the problem."
When people are fearful, lose their jobs, and feel overwhelmed with no hope...they will follow any well speaking tyrant with a sweet tongue, spouting wonderful platitudes of "hope" anywhere.
Years of evolution have NOT solved this problem. The masses and remain half-full.
Yes, break the system, and then come in with a fix...but the "fix" comes with a price and that horrible price we have already witnessed, when NO one in the last administration came to the rescue of Terri Shiavo. Which told us then: If the government wants you to die at the age of sixty, then you will. Or if you're "disabled" you will be taken off life support.
The price of Universal Health care is that now, the government will decide who lives, and who dies. And all three BUSHES, Daddy, Bushie, and Jeb, stood by and watched.
Just like a bunch of Henry the VIII's.
Let us remember this day. This was the day that Tom the Dastardly Daschle said "Seniors should be more accepting of the conditions that come with age instead of treating them."
You're not frightened? In the words of Yoda..."You SHOULD should be."
Right...had a stroke? Wait, we have an illegal having five babies in the next die. Sorry. Need heart surgery? You're 67? Sorry, no can do. What? You're blood pressure medicine is too expensive? You have a home? Sell it and get free pills. You will have to leave everything you worked you're entire life for...but're ALIVE! the outrage? Are we too busy thinking about steroids again?
Are you starting to understand why that story is in the news right now?
Like I stupid are we?
Today, Obama weaved his webs of promises and nebulous lies about getting everyone a job, at the exact, let me repeat, the EXACT same time that Rush Limbaugh came on the radio to tell everyone about the universal health care being put into the stimulus bill.
So...don't you think they break out these scandals to get your mind off the fact that our country is taking away all your freedoms, your money, and downsizing America into one big fat McDonald's Farm FOREVER!
In business as in politics...timing is everything.
You are looking at their right hand, and they are stealing your very souls away with their left.
You think they have no control over this? Once they get you on their Google electrical grid, they will control all your energy uses, or you WILL pay highly. And jobs?
BUT...did it ever occur to anyone, have you heard any reporter ask...if this new technology that you will HAVE to put in your home...YOU will have to pay for? On top of all the debt that you now owe?
You think charging that pitiful electric car is going to be cheap?
Like I said---How stupid are we?
Nancy wants to kill the babies...Tom wants to kill the old. The middle class will just die of food poisoning.
We have now a whole leadership of Stalins and Lenins.
It's all to save the great tax-base that they have already destroyed. And when they say: "Well, it's not going to be pain free," you'd better believe it. The only ones that will not suffer are the rich, the powerful, and our politicians.
If you are a baby boomer, take your number, and get in line. Smile because you will be eliminated waaaaaaay before your time under universal "electronic" health care.
Think I'm nuts? Frankly, after these last two days of listening to the plan that Obama has for us all...and the years I've spent watching this very attitude in various hospitals already, I'm counting my blessing every single day, because I know, what's coming. I've seen it with my own eyes. I'm living it now.
The good news? Goldie Hawn will ALWAYS have the money for plastic surgery, thank goodness, because, I am a big fan of Kirk Russell.
And that's the only good news I could find today.....tomorrow HAS to be better.


Monday, February 09, 2009

Nobody's Perfect: Alex Rodriguez

Nobody's Perfect:
Alex Rodriguez.

I just love Nobody's Perfect Day...there is ALWAYS someone who is caught messing up their careers by lying or cheating, or being a criminal...or...just being a show off.
And despite the cesspool of lies that came out of Obama's mouth today (Lies like---there is NO pork in this stimulus bill! We will all be doomed forever if we do not let it pass. There are no set-up questions in this town hall meeting...) it was Alex Rodriguez's non-perfect day, and I for one, don't want to deprive him of it.
Alex had to finally admit, because of some pesky woman reporter who, according to HIM, stalked him until she got the scoop...that he has been lying, and yes, he has done steroids. He just doesn't remember which ones, or what year...but he's SURE it's not when he got MVP!
Yes, he's sure, even though he lied to Katie Couric, because he didn't see that he had tested positive until well, just now...many years later!
This man has the markings of a true politician! And for that, he is our Nobody's Perfect candidate for today!
Why did he do it? Texas is just too hot. (suggesting that global warming is causing baseball players to cheat) and also, he didn't have the problem UNTIL he signed on with Texas.
"In Texas, I felt an enormous amount of pressure."
Aren't you surprised he didn't blame President Bush? Well---once again, remember...he's not perfect.
He also blamed a common "culture" along with coaches, doctors, etc.
BUT...mmmm...let's think about this.
Here he is with his wife. I'd say she has some nice muscles there. Those bi-ceps alone would win her a job on a Universal stunt team!
And let's not forget the queen of POP-steroids, Madonna, who just left her husband for A-Rod the Mexican A-Hunk, and has so much in common with him she wants to move back to the US!
Frankly, I might forgive him for the steroids, but bringing Madonna back into the country is going to take me some time to get over.
No Alex, made a big mistake. He should have put the blame on his WOMEN! It's because of them that he got hooked on the stuff!
Recently, Madonna said she met A-Rod through her husband, (thereby claiming innocence and blame on her poor x-husband, who should have never tempted her, I guess.)
So, what does a good buddy (body) do? A-Rod STOLE Madonna away from her husband, who, as everyone knows, does NOT due steroids.
And personally, I think they make a darling couple. I can't wait for the Madonna/Alex baby...who will no doubt be raised in the Mojave Desert, where he will crave steroids just to keep alive.
That baby will have to look no further than it's mothers...milk.
Somewhere, Guy Richie, is having the last laugh.
There is another story in this, about DNA, and steroidal attractions, but...enough already. We have more important things to think about, don't we? When Alex lied, he just hurt himself.
When Obama lies, he hurts the whole country.


Sunday, February 08, 2009

Obama, Grammy's, and Pregnant Bees

Nobody’s Opinion: Guess what? Did you ever go through some old papers and find a real gem? Something that brought back a memory that was forgotten because it was so, well---typical?

While I was watching the Grammy’s tonight, and trying to clean up my office, I ran across this picture of me, drawn by a really fabulous and talented guitar player named Glenn Fink, in the year 1977. I had a big crush on Glenn at the time, but Glenn looked on me more like a real buddy.

I was the drummer in a five-piece band at the time. Glenn played guitar, just like Jeff Beck. He was also the reason I became a better drummer.

That man could play. He was also…gay. (At least that’s what my dad thought.) He loved low voices on women…he always talked about it. I don’t know---men and women didn’t talk about their sexual proclivities at the time.

We had something called privacy back then, which meant, you respected each person you worked with enough not to ask about what he did with his “private” life. That made everything so much easier, for both gays and straights, or so I thought.

Anyway, our little band was on the road at the time, and this was drawn in my hotel room, somewhere in the Midwest. I was lying on the bed watching, as you can sort of make out, the Nixon-Frost interviews on T.V. Like most kids of my generation, I hated Nixon.

As you can see, not only was Glenn a great guitar player, but he was a decent artist as well. A good artist can capture emotions, and character, and boy, did he capture my essence in just a few seconds. I walk around most of the time with that look on my face… in disbelief of the absurdity of almost everything that happens.

It’s not that I’m surprised…it’s just that...I can’t stop being amazed!

I swear, if Glenn was at my house tonight he would have found this very same exact look on my face while I was watching some girl on the Grammy’s sing, “I kissed a Girl and I Liked It!” All the while, she was dancing around big blown up Strawberries and Banana’s (What the heck did THAT mean?) while really sexy women dressed up in white tuxes were dancing around her. I couldn’t figure out that if she was a lesbian, why in the heck was she dressed up just like a yodel-maiden from some Swiss alpine town, her boobs being all exposed? It was a puzzle.

I was having trouble believing that she really wanted to kiss a girl, because she looked just like some guy’s wet dream out of Playboy---you know the “three girls kissing each other fantasy and just waiting for the guy to jump in?"

That one kills me.

Yes, to me it looked more like some guy’s wet dream…BUT, as we know, they are really pushing the homosexuality strong. So, just put out a hit for all the young girls to go around singing therefore brainwashing them into thinking kissing girls is so much fun! Try it! You’ll like the cherry taste! many young girls do you think were watching the Grammy’s tonight? With the Jonas Brothers, Justin Timberlake, and Montana making appearances, I can’t help but wonder if I was the only adult with this look on my face?

When the President of the Grammy’s got all goose-pimply about Obama’s having TWO Grammy’s (for his book) I was having a hard time remembering just how good it was to see Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder again. On top of that he wants Obama to invent a cabinet position for the ARTS---no doubt so he can fill it, and be able to sit next to Obama the rest of his life, in some kind of Grammy-induced ecstasy.

That man wanted to kiss Obama, there is NO doubt about it.

Somebody send Obama some cherry lip-gloss.

I also had that look when I saw the RAT PACK RAPPERS dancing with a girl who was dressed up as a big pregnant bee. I wonder what Dean and Frank would have thought?
“Strangers in The Night” just took on a whole new meaning.

That’s also how I look every time Obama says he is going to save the middle class with jobs. Right--- Sure----Oh yeah. Those empty deserted towns all over the United States are just going to come alive, the steal mills are going to start pumping again, the coal mines will be humming…we will be digging for oil…manufacturing is just going to hum….Obama says it’s all coming…just as soon as he gets those trillions, he'll give it to GE and then we will be saved.

Well, it was good to think about Glenn Fink again. I hear he joined the Marines and ended up playing in the band.

And it was good to hear Paul McCartney sing “I Saw Her Standing There” much the same as when he was a kid. Thank God Neil Diamond didn’t dedicate “Sweet Caroline” to Caroline Kennedy…or did he and they just cut it out?

There is only so much of this “social” brainwashing one can take.

Yeah, tonight, it’s 2009---and that’s me watching Obama threatening all of us with the end of America as we know it.

Somebody send him that pregnant Bee girl; he deserves it.

As for Nixon…a few more days of Obama, and he will be redeemed.