Thursday, April 26, 2007

Sinking Ships and Trunks of Love

Nobody’s Opinion: After reading Denis’s lovely piece on the Titanic, and all those wonderful comments by all the MND readers, it took me back to a family story…

You know, one of those stories that are passed down generation to generation, and like the rumor going around ear to ear in the classroom, by the time it gets to the last person, you end up wondering if it was even true.

One of those.

My mother told me a family “boat” story once when I was nine. She said it was her grandmother who told her. It was, basically a great family “love” story, and it evolved around an old chest. It was the first “love” story I ever heard.

Ever since I was a child, we had a real old family chest, and it held all my toys. The lid was hard to lift open, because it was so heavy. It was mostly made out of steal, with some kind of very hard wood that I’ve never seen before or since, and the outside had intricate engravings all over it. I still have it.

The inside was all torn paper---it was smelly and it stunk. I used to cut my hands on the latches because they were so sharp. What am I saying?---I still cut myself. But, boy was it big. All my toys fit inside with room to spare.

Anyway, the story goes, my great-great-great grandmother and her husband lived in England. They had moved there from Prussia, so it must have been somewhere around the early 1800’s…and they wanted desperately to come to America.

So, they packed up everything they owned into that big trunk, and set sail…but about 15 miles from shore, the boat sprang a leak, and luckily, everyone got back on shore. Even the trunk. All the women, men, and children survived.

About four months later, my great-great-great grandparents decided to try again. This time they got much farther out, a good hundred miles or so, when the boat started to sink. Once again…everyone got back. But they lost their trunk.

A week later they found it, washed up on shore…many miles from the point where they started, but to their big surprise, everything was still in it, and in good condition.

Then…once again, a third try…a YEAR later they decided to chance the trip again. But this time, this boat was in mid-Atlantic when it started to sink.

And yes, ALL the brave men on that boat sacrificed their lives. It was the code.

But here’s the “love” story, as told by my mother.

All the women were on board the life boats. All of them got into the life boats. But my great-great-great grandmother refused to leave her husband’s side. She insisted on dying with the men. She was so adamant about it, so stubborn, she caused such a problem that the men on board the ship decided to let my grandfather go with her. He was the only man allowed to live.

Looking back, the men on board probably did this to ease their own hearts, because after all, a boat with all women and no men out that far in the ocean, was not exactly a good thing. (especially in those days with all the long dresses and stuff) The men probably thought having one man on board the lifeboat was a good idea, but I'm just guessing.

And that man was my great-great-great grandfather. And yes, they made it back to England…and yes, the trunk, once again washed up on shore.

You would have thought after THREE failed attempts they would have given up. But Noooooooo…that’s the great thing about freedom…and our country. It’s always been the dream of the world.

So, once again---after six months, they tried a fourth time.

And this time, they made it.

What is so interesting to me about this story, as remembered by my mom, is not the fact that my grandmother by her actions, basically saved her husband's life..

But the fact...that no one could believe that...that damn trunk actually kept coming back to shore! Amazing! Who could believe it!

Think about it...the question of devotion and love in our family was very commonplace, but the fact that a trunk swept up to shore and was found...intact....after floating for months on the water...was basically a miracle.

My----how times have changed. Today, it would be the love devotion that would seem miraculous, and the trunk...well...

The Toelle's build a house right on the Mississippi. I’m sure they watched Mark Twain cruise his ships by their house. They never took another ocean trip.

When the love of her life died, it was said my great-great-great grandmother was so upset that she insisted that her husband was still alive and talked to him all day long. She never really got over his death. It was hard for everyone to watch.

Now, I have no idea how much of this story is true, and yet...I have no reason to doubt it. These were poor people whose stories did not make it to the front pages of newspapers.

Like Denis, I too have seen the Titanic exhibit, AND the movie of course.

And I thought that James Cameron’s interpretation, showing the differences in the classes, how the men AND the women of the lower classes were sacrificed, hit home even harder. Even though the noble rich men died with the ship, those rich men also knew that there were many women AND children locked in the hull of the ship, destined to drown. They were only concerned about their own wives and children, which is human nature. Noble they were…to a point.

The good news is; nobility is not dead. Men sacrifice their lives for women and children, they do it every day…in Iraq, on our police forces, special forces…working hard to not only support their families, but America. There are still many noble souls left.

And yet, I also remember a woman who sacrificed her own life not too long ago to give her small son a life in America. A woman that nobody even remembers. A woman forgotten as much as we forget our garbage. A woman who floated on a rubber tube for days.

She wanted a better life for her son. She was willing to die for it.

Do you remember her name? No…neither do I. But then, I bet that’s a love story being told and will be handed down generation to generation…in a family in Miami.

And I also bet there is a little boy who dreams of her at night, in his Cuban school.

So I too join in to thank Denis, for bringing back a story so long ago forgotten by me, and reminding all her readers of the decency still to be thankful for.

Nobody’s Perfect: Unfortunately, inside the lid of that old trunk are some very inartistic crayon marks, in red. When you are two, red crayons improve just about everything.

Nobody Knows: Is there anyone in the world, upon seeing the scene in the movie where the old lady throws the diamond back into the ocean…is there anyone who didn't shout... “IS SHE CRAZY?!” Even my great-great-great-grandmother wouldn’t have done that.

Nobody Cares; This is a picture of my great-grandmother(their descendant) and her husband, who loved each other, just as much. I supposedly have the family Prussian Toelle eyes. It was her grandmother that saved the chest.

Hopefully, everyone’s got such a great story in their family, and if you don’t…start asking before it’s too late, and feel free to share, they are all our American treasures.


Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Nobody's Absurdities, No. 43...These Events Took Place Between 10am and 11am...

Nobody’s Opinion; Don’t mind me, since I’m on 43, I thought that I’d try to look at all the absurdities in the world in a more 24-Jack Bauer way…blame it on the pizza I had for breakfast.

10:01 am
: Rosie O’Donnell, after doing her crouch grab in front of the very rich and famous, today announced on her “View,” that since the show wanted her for THREE MORE YEARS…and she just couldn’t go on that long, she will be gone in June. Upon hearing the news, Bill O’Reilly said that she was fired by Disney, but Glenn Beck says that she wants her own program again. Either way, the fact that she curled her hair to make the announcement means that they are both right. It was the top news of the day.

10:05 am: Not to be upstaged, Alex Baldwin announces that he is tired of TV and wants to get out of his contract because: “There’s a bigger thing I want to do, there are more important things I want to do.” Which means he plans to write a book, run for Hillary’s senator’s seat--- from France, donate his sperm to Rosie, and join the Muslim faith in order to help ban pork.

10:11 am: Carl Bernstein announced that he is going to come out with his new book, “Because She Can…” no wait, the title will be, “Hillary Clinton; A Woman in Charge.” This is a favor Carl owes Hillary for helping him get Nixon impeached so long ago. Many are wondering just how he is going to fill up over 600 pages with the things she has been in charge of…because no one else can come up with a thing.

10:17 am: Not to be outdone, George Tenet comes out with HIS book, in which we do not find out why he was the most incompetent man that ever served as head of the CIA, but we DO find out that, like Jack Bauer has shown, torture works. He describes the very nice way they do it though, through “enhanced interrogation techniques.” Which means they make the terrorists watch videos of Rosie O’Donnell over and over and over...

10:22 am: A planet is found…we all go to commercial and eat fast food.

10:26 am; DANGER: Rudy Giuliani has come out foretelling the fearful prospect of what will happen if Democrats get elected in 2008---another 9/11. This statement alone sent Obama into his own fear upon hearing the truth being spoken so clearly. He had to do something, so he countered that Rudy is taking “fear to a new low.” Actually the thought of having Obama as President is about as low (next to Hillary) as a country could get.

10:31 am: Obama says that because he can speak their language, the terrorists will never harm us. Once he says “hi” on al Jazzera, they will love all Americans. The plot is getting scary. Americans take a restroom break; they use too many sheets…because they can.

10:44 am: Update; bin Laden claimed that it was he that tried to kill Dick Cheney in Iraq and planned the attacks, which would have saved Dennis Kucinich a lot of time and effort in his impeachment plans. In 1997, bin Laden was also seen in a California Mall, sitting in his Limo, with a big group of partying Muslims, evidently doing what all liberals do at California parties. When a simple man off the street asked him if he was going back to Afghanistan he said “Yes, my country needs me.” The man was arrested, for not arresting bin Laden, leaving George Tenet to go on another day.

10:48 am: Al Gore sends out global warming soldiers to attack all schools, nursing homes, and shopping malls screens. They all wear clothes of green shredded toilet paper. CTU goes on high alert.

10:50 am: According to Rush Limbaugh, seal hunters are somewhere trapped in ICE. He suggests they wait for global warming to help them out. CTU goes on high/high alert. (Chloe rolls her eyes.)

10:52 am: A tornado hits a Mexican border town, and kills ten, and leaves hundreds homeless. None of the news station show pictures, because most of the people harmed were illegal aliens, and they fear the repercussions from conservatives in an election year.

10:53 am: Condoleezza Rice is served a subpoena during her dinner with President Bush. She puts it in her linen napkin, and continues to eat.

10:55 am: Wolfowitz, the President of the World Bank, hires one of Clinton’s old lawyers to help him keep his job at the World Bank. Gonzales also hires one of Clinton’s old lawyers to help him keep his job, so does Phil Specter. So does Howard Stern, and Don Imus. Since so many lawyers have worked for the Clintons they get ten percent.

10:56 am: Reports are let out that Cho, the killer at VT, actually only had nine minutes to spray 170 bullets, thereby correcting the first facts reported that he was shooting for over 20 minutes. Like Global warming, facts are altered to fit the much needed new legislation of getting rid of guns and cars, and people with mental problems, which does not include elected officials.

10:57 am: Very quietly, while people are watching video recordings of American Idol, the post office is creating a monopoly for Time Warner to put of business all the little political magazines that inform the people, by raising their postage rates. The monopolistic big one world government marches on…but, this is not reported.

10:58 am: All the people in America have gone to lunch. But while they are out efforts are being made for all of their vitamins, supplements, and favorite herbs to be put under the FDA prescriptions, to go along with universal health care.

After all, you don’t REALLY want to live to be an old man or woman in a society with all these absurdities…do you? They don’t want you to either.

10:59 pm: Good News! Australia has told Snoop Dog he cannot come into their country. Which means, at least in some other part of the world, the next 24 hours will be having a nice celebration. China is also going to provide clear days for the Olympics by making it rain with cloud seeding, thereby giving Spielberg perfect days for filming!

Meanwhile, here comes the next 43 hours of absurdities. Will the Democrats actually veto the funding for the war? Will Alex Baldwin actually leave the U.S.? Will Hillary learn how to speak like Scarlett O’Hara?, Will Bill Clinton get Daddy Bush to make a last jump out of the plane coming back from Yeltin’s funeral in Russia?

Will your dog live to see another day? ---You’ll have to wait, there are commercials.


Okay…I know none of this is in ACTUAL order of any kind, but nobody said I couldn’t have a little fun. After all, it is my god-given, pursuit of happiness, Thomas Jefferson, right….right? RIGHT!


Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Al Gore: The Truth is Not Convenient

Nobody’s Opinion: We’ve got a tornado watch posted in St. Louis for the rest of the night and all tomorrow, so I said to myself:

“Go on, girl, get it over with. Tonight would be the perfect time to watch Al Gore’s documentary, “Inconvenient Truth.” After all, you can’t keep putting off forever.”

And like a six year old who doesn’t want to go to bed I answered back to myself: “Ah, do I HAVE to? Can’t I just do it some other time? ” It has sat on my recorder for months.

I also tell myself this same thing about root canals.

But, (I’ll copy Al Gore On this one) the frog has to jump into the boiling water sometime, so I did watch it…almost to the end. I jumped out just in time.

Before I tell you my thoughts on Al Gore’s crusade to save the earth and his legacy, I need to get some thoughts in my head about the man out.

When think of Al Gore, the first image that comes to mind is not only how strange looking his eyebrows are, (Like the devil came down and tattooed them on his head) but a video that I saw once on a news program visiting Monticello with Bill Clinton. Bill walked into a room with Gore and Al Gore said as plain as day, “And look here…who are these guys?”

He was looking at busts of Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, and George Washington. Bill Clinton had to tell him who they were, and then they shot Bill shaking his head as he walked away.

You can bet they didn’t replay that video much. Too bad it was before You Tube.

And this is the man who is now going to save the world?

The other thought that I can’t quite explain, because I simply can’t find the book in any of my six closets, (my nobody library) is that I remember reading a book once, I THINK it was called “Spin Cycle” or something like that, that really stuck with me.

It was written by a man who had worked for the White House for years. I think he worked for the Clinton administration, but that’s not the point.

The point is that the man explained that there is an office in D.C., that every administration uses to “spin” the news. It sometimes employs up to 1500 people, (and that was long ago) working the “spin” machines on all the televisions. They sit in a room monitoring hundreds of TV’s. They will put people on (their spokes people) on the different television stations and time the statements to coordinate, literally up to the seconds, thereby getting the most effect for the President and the policies that they can.

This is planned, scripted, and carefully managed every single day. This little fact floored me, because I thought that the White House had NO influence at all on any of the talk shows, but on the contrary, it seems the stations are in direct line with this “office” that no party wants to talk about.

This book was written before FOX news, so I can't say about them.

Basically it’s propaganda control, and has been going on even since Nixon. Kind of like a command control center. Sometimes I wonder if Clinton still has control of it…but having told you this, after watching the Gore movie, it is so very obvious just how good the people in power have gotten at propaganda.

Inconvenient Truth was made to be played in every single school in the world. You feel like you’re in high school all over again.

And that’s what it’s meant to convey. YOU…are in school. Here’s the teacher. Here are the charts, you don’t know. Al is the expert. He uses almost grade school visuals.

He could have presented the whole concept more scientifically, but then he would have had to put actual scientists on…and that’s NOT the purpose of the film.

I’m not going to comment on all the things you’ve already read, but on the things that I thought should be mentioned more.

Like the fact that Al Gore in almost every scene is typing on a computer, on an APPLE computer, and using Google. Remember, he is on the board of Google.

Like the fact that it is just as much a political movie to promote Al Gore, as it is a “global warming” movie. James Carville says he is going to run, and the movie does seem to back that up. The whole movie is an Al Gore promotion on his life: he uses two moments that have nothing to do with global warming: his son’s death and his sister’s death: even thought he finds a way to intertwine both events with global warming.

Like the fact that he also finds a way to remind everyone that Bush is Evil, and he won the election, more than once we see these little “bits” of resentment.

Like the fact that the democrats are using a new trick to “convince” right-wingers that their hero’s actually agree with them. Al Gore used Mark Twain, Churchill, and even used the good old “My daddy was a farmer, and I worked on the farm” bit, hoping to bond with Middle America.

Because it’s Middle America that he plans to tax to death for all his global warming cures, but he doesn’t tell you that.

No, he never talks about money, until the end. He shows a simple picture of a balanced scale, one side with gold, one side with the earth. He knows he cannot say, “Oh by the way, we will need more money for this, out of your paycheck.”

Yes, he walks down the hall into the crowd like the rock star, and then in the end, comes down the long tunnel with a halo of light behind him, the visual green Jesus---Al.

And the most important fact is; he blames man for all these weather changes, but the only thing he can come up with that man does is car emissions. He goes to GREAT lengths to tell you the destruction of the earth, but he doesn’t go to great lengths to tell you just exactly HOW man has destroyed the earth, beyond the fact that there are too many of us.

Not very scientific. And to make himself appear very noble, he is personally going all over the world talking in city after city, in order to save it.

He doesn’t mention how much he gets paid to do all these lectures.

He does mention that atomic bombs could destroy the earth as we know it. But he doesn’t mention that atomic bombs would be MUCH quicker than car emissions or light bulbs.

Today, Dick Cheney has said that a nuclear attack from our enemies is our biggest worry. But Al Gore does not fear a nuclear attack from the Muslims radicals at all. Not at all.

Which is proof, after 9/11, that Al Gore is in the Ozone, breathing too much toxic power.

Uh...Earth to Al...Earth calling Al....

He’s too busy making money. And while he’s at it, resurrecting himself.

My advice is for Al to stay home from going all over the world, he has been up in a plane looking down at the Earth for so long, he starting to think he’s God second cousin.

He’s not; and someone should tell him that inconvenient truth.


Monday, April 23, 2007

Nobody Helps Sheryl Crow

Nobody Flashes: Yesterday, Sheryl Crow, a woman looking for a new career, is trying hard along with Al Gore, to save the planet.

In fact, she now belongs to the "I am getting old, no one is buying my records (or movies), I have big house payments, and I need to do something to keep up my jet plane fueled" club.

So Sheryl has decided to go into the new upcoming hot new market of environmental invention fields-- as an up and coming entrepreneur.

She said, "I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting."

Yes, Sheryl has decided if all of us just limit our selves to one spare tissue a person, we could make a huge gift to the trees.

Never mentioning that the landfills are mostly glutted with disposable diapers, and old issues of the New York Times. Sheryl didn't think of these two much more serious depletion of good tree pulp, because obviously she has never changed a diaper, and she can't read.

Which is probably why she can't think.

So this nobody, who has three patents herself, has decided, out of the kindness of my heart to take her idea even further...and design for her the perfect eliminator for all humans, the portable bumper potty.

In fact; In her honor I shall call it--Sheryl's Shit...wait, that's not about Sheryl's Bumper Eliminator Attachment.

She'll get more claims on her patent that way.

Not ONLY can this timely invention attach to Sheryl Crow's three tractor trailers, four buses, and six cars for her tour...she does not even NEED toilet paper.

Test drives have proven, that a nice slow 20mph will dry much more effectively than tissue. Speeding up, will scare anything else off.

This new inventive item will not ONLY be popular in our ever increasing traffic jams, it will be a much welcomed site for the illegal aliens who are tired of using the bushes.

Every good liberal in San Fransisco will want one!

So, I give this idea for free to Sheryl Crow, being as I was a musician in St. Louis for most of my life, and never once saw her name anywhere as a performer here. (She is from here she says.) Anyone who can never play out at a live bar, and then turn around and become a big star gets my nobody's recommendation for knowing who to...know.

Which proves that she, and her liberal friends will just love this potty, because as we all know...liberals just love to spread their manure around.

So, throw away your toilet paper Sheryl, and put this in your next visit to Carl Rove.

In fact, park in front of his limo, and show him how it works.

Just don't blame me if he feel insulted again.

Nobody Knows: Sheryl also suggests everyone wears a shirt and wipes all their ketchup and snot onto a sleeve that she has invented for this very purpose.

This shows that she also has never done laundry.

I think we should all encourage her on this one.

Nobodys Cares: In fact, she could use both new inventions at once!

Your welcome Sheryl, it's the least a fellow musician could do.


Sunday, April 22, 2007

Ken And Barbie...The Fight Continues

Nobody’s Opinion: Ken and Barbie, are at it again.

Alex Baldwin, the handsome movie actor looking for a set, put another notch in his claim to fame over the weekend by showing all of America just how loving and caring a father he was to his daughter.

He called her a “pig.” And what is even more amazing is that many men all over the country, who have themselves been in so much emotional pain from their own losses, are making all kinds of excuses for the man.

If you ARE a man, (or woman) and have called any of your children such a horrible name, with such vileness, even if you think the child deserves it, then you are setting the example for that child, not only to hate your guts for life, but to grow up and maybe even imitate your immaturity to their own child.

Tell me, if he is trying to win over her affection, is this going to help?

Hearing all the excuses made for the man, I’ve come to two conclusions:

1. Alex Baldwin cannot control his anger. (So much so that he is willing to fly a great distance and keep in full fledge rage, pity the stewardess.)…and….
2. We have a lot of adults out there calling their own kids names because they think it okay, the brats deserve it.

To this I say…hey, did they ask to be born? Did they ask to have YOU for a parent?

If you can’t communicate past a first-grade level vocabulary, then don’t become a parent.

Glenn Sacks, that lovable looking guy on MND, may go on with example after example of women faking rapes, lying, using the system for whatever reason, (and no doubt they may be true) but he has also shown a severe lack of judgment in sticking up for this narcissistic man who cannot believe that (according to many magazine polls) the most beautiful woman in the world actually left him.

He still hasn’t gotten over it.

And he also hasn’t gotten over the fact that his career ended when he suggested we should all go and kill Henry Hyde and his whole family.

May I remind everyone that this previous "angry rant" was NOT a released secret phone conversation.

Lots of Americans said on hearing it, “To hell with this guy, he’s nuts.” I was one of them. I never paid to see any more of his movies. Evidently, I was not the only one, because he hasn’t had star billing in any movie since his Henry Hyde raging rant.

You don’t see Kim Bessinger making a fool out of herself, making stupid political comments and getting little parts in idiotic movies.

The guy had the world. He blew it---and now he is blaming all his problems on her, instead of where the fault lies.

Frankly, it wasn’t just the word “pig” that alarmed me. It was all the rest of the veiled threats that scared the gehebees out of this nobody.

And I’m not eleven.

If I were Kim Basinger, I would have done exactly the same thing, even though admitting that a mother has to be pretty desperate to release such a thing.

The action speaks for itself.

With the release of this tape, she took the risk of ruining her own career, not that she has much of one left either, and put her child in the limelight where she wasn’t before.

It was a drastic measure, and one that perhaps was caused by maternal instinct. As most men know, Mother Nature can be fierce. By making his anger public, she hopes to protect her child, once and for all.

It seems Kim has done everything in her power to keep him away from the girl. And from that phone conversation, I can see why.

The man might think he loves his daughter, in his own mind. He might also think global warming is real, all rednecks should die, and he deserves to be President.

I’ve known men like that, and they snap, very easily.

In fact, we just witness one last week. He liked to threaten too. (VT)

I’d also like to make the very important point here that just because many men get beat up by women, the fact remains that men beat up women, all the time.

What, are we keeping some kind of existential score here?

Kim Basinger has always claimed that Alex is physically and mentally abusive. Yet, are we not suppose to believe her simply because there are men in the world who are suffering from abusive relationships who therefore come to the conclution that ALL women are lying?

Simply because our political and judicial system is being taken over by marxists? What's that got to do with this case? Nothing.

Kim since the divorce, has done little acting, and has been pretty quiet.

Not Alex. He will do anything to get back into the limelight, short of adopting in Africa.

Fame can be addicting, and Alex is enraged at his obvious crash from his celebrity star pedestal. Alex is not only furious at his wife, his child, and his country, he is enraged that he is getting older and showing it, another cruel fate.

If I were Kim, I would be scared to death of the man.

I see the release of that tape, as a last protection from a mother and child who probably truly feared for their lives.

Think I’m crazy?

Well, I don’t care, it’s just my opinion.

None of us really knows, but I tend to agree with Robert (MND) Reyes on this one.

Nobody’s Perfect: It is reported that Kim suffers from agoraphobia. So, what is Alex’s phobia? Pigs?

Nobody’s Knows; Even though Kim’s mother seems to side with Alex, it seems her father is sticking up for Kim. So, one wonders, is she close to her mother? We just saw with Anna Nicole’s statements on Larry King just how close she was to HER mother.

Nobody Cares
; Alex and Kim were married seven years. Ken and Barbie, have now divorced after 43 years, which is about the same time span really. One doll lifespan is about six of ours.

But unlike Alex and Kim, (where I favor Kim) in Ken and Barbie’s case, my heart goes out to Ken. That poor guy really didn’t deserve to be thrown out. Barbie is becoming a real hoe. Look for her in the upcoming Snoop-dog video, called, “Barb is my nappy, she makes me real happy.” I hope Ken finds another babe, he deserves it.