Friday, June 13, 2008

God WANTS You To Have a Great Father's Day

Nobody Flashes: With the sad passing of Tim Russett today, we can only be reminded that fathers are important. His passing will leave a big hole in the few commentators that really loved politics and couldn't ever hide it. Everyone is going to really miss him. What a shocker. What a loss.

But, it's Friday the 13th. Yeah, I know.

Anyway, if you haven't gotten anything for dad...and you were thinking about getting Russett's book on his dad...go ahead and pick up this one too while your at it.

Its full of laughs and great dad thoughts, and will help you get through many a father's day. Doug Powers is one of America's best funny men in the world, and if you haven't read must. You simply MUST. You will become a fan for life.

Anyway, I'm taking Sunday father's passed away many years ago....but he is still in my heart.

Anyway, everyone have a great fathers day!


Thursday, June 12, 2008

Supreme Court Needs an Exorcist

Nobody Wins: There is only one thing we can now do to save our country from the demon-filled Supreme Court, who just granted full-constitutional rights to Muslim war criminals sitting in Guantanamo, waiting for the moment when they can escape and deliver the final blow to the great Satan in the West.

Well, they've got one thing right. There are five justices on the Supreme Court whose only hope for us is a good exorcism. In fact, more than one Catholic priest is going to be needed, so sinful was this act.

And while we are being mad at all the liberals, remember, John McCain, I'm sure, considers this a victory. Bill Clinton is getting sweet payback having nomination Hilliary's old girlfriend, Ginsberg.

Somewhere, democrats mad about the Florida recount are having triple margaritas.

No doubt about it, this is bad news. It's much worse than we thought.

As Jesus would say, "Forgive them Lord, for they know not what they do."

Well, I'm not Jesus, and I don't have to forgive them. Now, those justices are on every patriotic American's list of "Just what don't you understand about common sense?"

Soldiers, be strong.


Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Aircar...It's REAL!

Nobody Cares: Everyone's talking about it. Everyone is complaining about it. The price of gas.

And one guy seems to have found the perfect solution.

The solution that will solve all wars, fighting over oil, and bad odors from drunk uncles...Kim Komando, a real cool gal who is just so peachy I want to be just like her...posted this video...
Check it out. If it does nothing else, it will make you think.

Yes, a car that runs on air....just like our politicians. What could be more wonderful?
Okay, don't answer that. But thanks to Kim for bringing to our attention!


Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Nobody Knows Why Nobody Knows

Nobody Knows: I spent the whole day writing today, to have something coherent to post tonight. But it seems the more I tried to put my thoughts into words, I just couldn’t do it. No matter how many times I wrote and rewrote.

Maybe tomorrow.

So, instead, I decided to write just a few thoughts of what nobody knows---at least, so far I haven’t found any one who really does, but if you do, let me know.
Starting off:
Nobody Knows---Why anyone would want to make thier dog look like this.

Nobody Knows---I was reading in Vanity Fair today about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. She said she was taking all her kids and exposing them to different religions. Many Christians would think this was a terrible idea. Nevertheless, at least her kids are getting the point that most people in the world think there is a superior spirit. And that’s the real point here. Kids who grow up without any religious structure or teachings are much worse off. Nobody really knows if Jesus Christ was seeded by God, but children should always be exposed to prayer and faith, because it’s such a good thing. Faith is there when a parent can’t be. Like shelter from the storm, it serves them forever in battle and in peace.

And that’s a fact. History has shown that if man believes in something bigger than himself, he is a happier man for it. Besides, John Adams, (my man) whenever he could, would sometimes go to three different sermons (of different faiths) on any given Sunday.

Good for you Jolie.

Nobody Knows---Why our nation’s problems always get worse at election time. Nobody knows how much of the markets and problems are being manipulated right now, just so we elect a certain person. Nobody knows why our conservative politicians keep denying that the middle-class has been eroding for many years now. And nobody understands why even though they keep saying as conservatives they love America, (we understand why the liberals don’t) why they keep attacking us.

Knock it off, guys---you’re pushing Obama right in place.

Nobody Knows---They say the polar bears are going extinct, and we must pass massive carbon emission laws in order to save them. What they don’t tell you is that the American Indians, and the Canadian, can hunt them. Over 500 are legally killed every year. So, why don’t they just outlaw killing polar bears like they outlawed killing the bald eagle? Why dig into our pockets?

It has been reported that you can, for $40,000, buy yourself a hunting trip with the “Indians” because they have permission. Nobody knows just what rich people evidently still like to hunt polar bears. Nobody's seen the list.

Nobody Knows---How much oil there really is on the earth? According to everyone, quite a bit. It’s everywhere, but our politicians won’t touch it…so the question is: why? Lots of our politicians know the real reason why, but nobody knows if they will ever tell us. We might go hunting ourselves.

Nobody Knows---Will many people show up to vote this election? Will many conservatives, be so scared, like Thomas Sowell suggests, that if we don’t vote for McCain, the United States will suffer nuke attacks from Iran? We’ve had open borders, the nukes might already be here.

Or will many Americans, just because they are so tired of their standard of living leaving forever, opt for the final nail in the communistic welfare of redistribution…which will also lower their standard of living? In either case…we are tortured with what to actually do. Vote or not vote.

Maybe the Chinese will come over and seed some of our clouds that day.

Nobody Knows---What I did with my tax records for last year. I just had them!

Nobody Knows---Since we have watched with shock and awe the Clintons for so many years, nobody knows just what will happen to Hillary Clinton now. Will she “hover” like Dick Morris has suggested…waiting for her lucky star to pop up? Or will she just go back to the Senate to fill Ted’s place. Or will Ted make a miraculous recovery and stay in the Senate for another twenty years? Hopefully, he won’t sing anymore in Spanish. Someone talk to his doctor.

Nobody Knows---The G8 met in Washington DC last week, and all our media, from conservative talk shows, to all our cable channels, to the newspapers, all ignored the real unelected rulers of our planet, like they didn’t exist.

Nobody knows when they are going to finally come out of the God-closet for good.

And with the price of gas right now, nobody cares.


Monday, June 09, 2008

Man Has Baby Without Felinni

Nobody's Perfect: As Tammy Wynett once said...It's Hard to be a Woman, who had a sex change, and then fell in love with another woman who couldn't get pregnant, who then decided to take a few hormones and then tell the world that "He" was the first man in the world to have a baby. Only "he" was actually born a "she" so this is pretty much a scam.
Operation or not...she (it) will still not be the first man to have a baby. If "he" had been born a man..then it would be official. But, well, as we all know you do need a uterus. And HE already had one.
Not fair.
But that hasen't stopped the press from having a field day with the great
"Oh, dear, I can't fit into my wrangler jeans!"
"If only I could find some relief from this PMS!"
or my personal favorite...
"Doctors says baby could be killed because of revulsion."
What? Is the baby going to come out, look at mom, and then the other mom, and then say "Man, you are so ugly, your own baby would reject you! Get away from me!"
If you must know, the pregnant one's name is Beatie...a fine name if I ever heard one.
Beatie and his wife live in Oregon, which is a good place for them, being as Oregon is just about as liberal and kooky as San Francisco. I'm sure they are getting free Starbucks as we speak.
So----The baby will probably also get free health care...if from no one else...Oprah Winfrey. And if Oprah doesn't pay the expenses, Obama will.
I think they should also get their own reality show, but that's me.
As you can see, these poor people don't even have any furniture, so they did what any other good American lesbian couple would do....create a big scam.
But, let's also remember that these two have given mountains of hope for Rosie O'Donnell, and Ellen Degeneres. Just think. Rosie and Ellen could have a sex change operation and father their own babies!
Yes, if I were them, I'd go one step farther and say Beatie was not only the mother, but the father!
Now that would be a Guinness book record!
Well, Beatie isn't perfect. He's (she's) probably saving that public announcement for the second baby---but for a few moments in time, we all thought that a man was having a baby...
We can all sigh now (big sigh here) and go back to our regular homosexual programming.


Sunday, June 08, 2008

Time Your Best Friend

Nobody’s Opinion: There we were: glued to our TV sets…the famous Jaws movie music theme was running through some cosmic background. The stage was set for Hillary Clinton to appear. Three humongous American flags were draped just for this occasion in the halls of a powerful Washington D.C. monumental building. It was a background fit for Teddy Roosevelt.

The message was clear: This was one of the most historical moments in Presidential history, one that will be included in your kid’s next politically-corrected mandated course of famous political women. Hillary will in years ahead, be lionized as the woman who made all other women Presidential candidates possible. Take lots of pictures.


And now, Hillary Clinton, a woman whose whole life was focused to conclude in attaining this one last grand ambition, was going to admit defeat…any moment now…doo dooddoo dood---doo dood

But wait…there was her car still in her driveway! The Clintons, as usual, were keeping everyone in suspense in order for the whole nation to be worked up into an anticipated frenzy. Wasting our time---making the whole nation wait, for 45 minutes on a working man’s Saturday afternoon--- is just another example of how crash, opportunistic and rude the Clintons are and have always been. But in the pragmatic world of power and control, it’s a trick that works every time.

For all their complaining, the Clintons have used this waiting trick time and again for the free PR they get. All the stations are tuned at the stage with reporters talking about them, and not much else.

When she finally got there, Hillary made her long walk through her die-hard crowd of supporters. They were so thrilled to finally get a glimpse of her, that we’ll never know the bladder control being successfully used by so many in order not to miss the moment.

At least we at home had bathrooms.

You know, I don’t get it. In the business world, if you make a client wait, you lose that client. And only the most desperate man or woman will admire a date that makes you wait for 45 minutes without an apology. But the Clintons never apologize, and it works. They usually face a crowd of obsequious sycophants panting at their every word.

Once she started though, Hillary really delivered. She endorsed Obama quickly, and then like a true rough rider, she elevated herself to woman sainthood. Yes, Hillary forged the way. Women could now run for the Presidency. In fact, according to Hillary, that’s the main reason she lost. Because she was a woman, and she pretty much said so.

She took a lemon and made it into a bottle of Louie XIV.

But, have no fear; she will continue to work until she dies for all of us. Until she sees our dreams come true.

Well, at least the current White House furniture is safe for awhile.

While she was speaking, I was thinking about the last election.

You see, during the last election, when I heard that John Kerry was to be the Democratic nomination I ran out of my house, over to my neighbor who was outside washing her car and started shouting, “Oh my God. Oh my God. They are running Kerry to lose, so that Hillary can run in 2008, and the only way she can get into office, because the American people will never elect her, is for something terrible to happen. We will be attacked and somehow Hillary will manage to get into office because of it. Oh my God.”

Well, okay, she thought, like you, I was nuts. Sometimes, sugar rushes.

This was, of course, before Obama the man from nowhere appeared. And who needs Hillary when you’ve got an even more far-left candidate with the name of an Arab?

And there was one point in the speech where Hillary seemed truly mad. She repeated a succession of Obama’s name, and it was like she was spitting bullets of sarcasm. The crowd got quiet, but got the message.

In the end, it wasn’t the media that killed Hillary chances; it was all of the Clinton’s longtime political friends and supporters leaving them in droves. And why?

Did the Clintons keep them all forever waiting ...waiting for a show of real appreciation?

While they were playing power games did they forget the power lesson: You really have more to fear from your friends than enemies, something Hillary should have learned with Monica’s every breathy interview?

As Hillary almost ran off the stage after her speech, she didn’t even wait for Bill, her best friend. The one friend whose support, history will prove, came maybe just a little too late to save her.