Saturday, May 29, 2010

Nobody's Email: It's a Dog's Life

Nobody Gets Email: Okay, I have to make this short.
This picture reminds me of the day I had today. (I got it from Pat... thanks.)
There is ONE day a year, when I wish I had a gardener. Yes, ONE day a year, I take the front of my house, and weed, clean, rake, plant, mulch, sweep, and transform what is a pretty pathetic frontal house view, and make it into my own little Eden.
Well...we certainly must compete with the neighbors! The lady next store got two new big planters...can't let her get by with that. I must claim victory.
But today...was one of those "days." I had great plans. Go buy the potting soil, the plants, the hanging baskets, ...and clean the pond, put in the pumps, move the lights...mow the lawn, trim the bushes and the trees...etc....and of course, when I told my husband that he could finally remove the lamppost that he has wanted to get rid of for years...he got so excited he pulled it right out of the ground and grabbed a small hatchet to "cut' the gas line...
Well, you know ....why would anyone take the time to get wire cutters?
I'll tell you stitches, emergency room. Wife has to do all the work the rest of the day. But...thankfully, he can still move his thumb...just enough to play his video games.
So, I can live with that. What I can't live with is my dog.
She won't move. I get in bed, 4 Advil, and a heating pad, and she wants to come up and sleep on my pillow...(leave me alone, I usually let her curl up next to me for a while) BUT..
My back hurts so bad...I cannot move. She wants her spot...I can't move without extreme pain...And so I get up to get some water and....yes, she finds the best spot...right in my side of the bed, and looks at me...exactly like this dog..." got up!"
And that is why...I could never run a country...but then seems not many others can do the job either.
BUT...there is one thing I would NOT do. Try to cut a gas line with a hatchet.
There. I feel better.


Friday, May 28, 2010

In the Arms of Presidents

"I'm sorry Bill, I know I owe you one for taking the fall for me on this mess with Sestak just can't bring her into the House tonight...I mean, I'm having a party tonight for the basketball players, and I've invited some of the fellows from Dubai to stay over, and some of the Saudi's might think she's a tent. Why don't you take her to the opera? I'll get you the box. And I'll get you the big limo..."
(Nobody makes this stuff up...and by the way, that's Lady Gaga.)


Thursday, May 27, 2010

An Apple a Day

Nobody Flashes: Update...ah, we are back to the good old days, when Bill Clinton's justice department went after Microsoft. Remember?
Now that Steve Jobs and his new Apple I-Pad has given him the edge over Microsoft, the Obama administration is coming after HIM!
In fact...any company that makes a big profit needs to redistribute. I'm sure before it's over Steve Jobs will have to donate so many of these babies all over the world to the tribes in Africa, the Taliban Muslims in Afghanistan, and frustrated teachers in New Jersey.
Well, of course he will. Any very successful company, that can get thousands of factories over in China to work 18-hour days, with ten minute naps, and pay just enough money to for the young slaves to survive.. AND with only a few suicides in the mix, (probably much less than our soldiers if you wanted to compare)...Steve will hardly miss a few million giveaways.
That's why he is making up for it with the latest model---A solid Platinum and diamond IPad, designed by Stuart Hughes. Steve got a bit jealous when his wife designed the gold Apple IPad, so he thought up this one. It has 173 "flawless" diamonds..and you can have it for $424,930.
Just don't decide you are going to take it flying. It might go in the machine, but there is no guarantee it will come out.
In fact, I suggest... glue it to your hand.


Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Nobody Cares About Roses

Nobody Cares; How about something cheerful today? Let me share my favorite gift from my father...That's just one rose bush that's drapes on BOTH sides of the fence.... it has so many roses on it, the fence will probably not hold them all much longer...not to mention, the tree is blocking the sun...but oh...when they do come, as they do every May...I can hardly wait, and I go out every morning and sit for a while just to enjoy them. It also houses many little chippies, in it's thorns. Clean under the bush, and you hear the mama's squawking.
I have never put any fertilizer on that bush and only trimmed it once in twenty years. (Yeah, you can tell huh?) I figure mother nature does just fine on it's own.
My father planted it .on my birthday...Bunker Hill a present.
And oh...if you could only see them. (The roses)
We had a storm tonight. Many of the blooms will be gone tomorrow. They never last long...if I'm lucky...three weeks tops. And then, I wait another whole year...for my little touch of god.
Humans are funny, aren't they? Measuring time in roses?
Sure beats measuring time in politicians.


Tuesday, May 25, 2010

BP: Advertising Its Own Disaster?

Nobody Knows:
Okay, somebody explain this to me.

If you were the CEO of BP, and your company just suffered the biggest oil spill of this galaxy, and you were not only killing millions of species of wildlife and destroying whole ecosystems for the next decade, AND also putting thousands of life-long fishermen out of a job...(and that includes many people who are foreigners) would you put this video up on every cable channel on the globe? A first: LIVE feed of hundreds of gallons of oil spilling out and into every single living room on the planet, in order to put across in graphic detail--- just what you have done.

I think not.

So, why is one company actually sort of glorifying this horrible catastrophe? Who got that camera down there in such short noticed?

Think about many times a day have you seen this video feed?

Are they trying to tell us...gas prices will go up? What's the message here?

Something doesn't add up in Kansas. We all know that the global government has NEVER wanted the western nations to develop oil. We have been MADE dependent on the Saudis' oil by our own politicians, for much too long... and just WHY is that?

Today, it was put out, well, hey, those government employees who were suppose to be watching the oil wells were watching porn again, and you know--- doing meth in order to enjoy the porn more.

I'm starting to think that the porn stars should be paying higher taxes. (Oh, they don't pay taxes?)

And yes, it's been let out that the inspectors were basically just bribed to not pay attention to the safety inspection of our oil rigs.

You know, Sarah Ferguson could sure use a job.

You'd have to know a lot about the global financial cartels of oil to know what is really going on, but one thing is for sure...the Obama administration, is behind the curtains, and they are definitely not wanting to be disturbed about the whole issue. ( see Obama cat ) They would rather sit back and watch the catastrophe and the whole gulf of Mexico complete destroyed, in order to be able to continue with their NEW WORLD ORDER of GE and Al Gore taking over with new Green products...and on and on...etc., etc.,...

After all, with the earth cooling, the global-warming climate-change in order to effect global change blueprint, didn't do so well.

It's been reported that Obama met with BP regulars right before this happened. He also got the biggest contributions from BP. And the White House has asked everyone to stop just stop asking questions, because ... Obama doesn't think it's his problem, it's BP.

'President' Obama's problems seem only to be what chef from what city to fly into the capital to feed him that night.

In the meantime the disinformation goes out. Someone is putting out rumors among the oil workers in Texas, that it was actually North Korea that attacked that rig.

Sometimes I think the spin machine employees are watching porn and doing meth.

This oil spill comes exactly at the perfect moment in time: The upcoming of cap and trade and the green carbon credits need to be implemented in order to go forward with the plans to put the whole world into one government. And it needs to happen before the next elections.
Everyone knows that Obama wants this very badly.

BP says this might not be contained until the end of August. By then, even the people in Miami Beach will be complaining about the smelly beaches, the dead seagulls, and the poor dying turtles. Beachfront property values will sink to new lows. And who will come to buy all that property up? China? Russia? Cuba? Or the U.S. government porn-watching employees?

Nobody knows...but it just might work.


Nobody's Perfect: Sarah Fergusion

Nobody's Perfect:
(Picture shows famous Tennis player sending a "you go girl" salute to the famous Sarah...once of York, who now mows her own lawn. Very touching.)

Sarah Ferguson was last week's very stupid redhead of the week, but I must admit, I now have a new fondness for her. I admire her actually for two reasons: for showing the world how the rich and powerful rulers of the world REALLY work, and bringing the fine art of toe sucking back into style. Dick Morris also was known for this fine art which is probably still a favorite art practiced in Brussels after dark. I bet Joe Biden is a favorite, but that's sheer speculation.

I must give a heads up to Rupert Murdoch, who supports investigating reporters for getting the very important undercover stories of how the people that are ruling us really do their business.

Sarah asked for $720,000 dollars for the fine fee of her pimping out her x Prince Andrew. The guy in return would get all the inside information to business deals of the Prince and the crown. She walked out with $40,000 and now..well...gee..the prince knew nothing about this, and everyone knows she is short of money, because she has to keep up her mother's Polo ranch in Argentina..

Argentina...the home of George Bush's new ranch.

It was a reporter named Musher Mahmood who has captured the Sarah's most embarrassing moment, and I for one, hope he expands his vast talents to us. I hope he disguises himself as a Saudi Prince, and comes over to the United States and have a few visits with Obama. Or even Joe. Or Hillary. Or Bill. Or Michelle. Or...the list is endless.

As for Sarah? Don't worry. She will still be adored because she once, married a prince, and that's the fairytale of all little girls. Poor little rich girl. Deprived of royal money, she must make her own way, prostituting her old flame.

Life is hard. So, she mows her lawn and takes care of her babies. What's a single mother to do?


Sunday, May 23, 2010

West Point Distractions

Nobody's Opinion: "If we do not wish to fight, even though the battle lines are drawn, we can prevent the enemy from engaging us. All we need to do is to throw something odd and unaccountable in his way to distract him.
--The Art of War, Sun Tzu
Last week, when "President Obama" was speaking at the graduations ceremony at West Point, this conversation was overheard from two cadets sitting in the second row:

CADET No. 32: You have GOT to be kidding me...look at that! Hey...wake up...Look...Obama is mouthing the words to The Star Spangled Banner!!! This has got to be a first! Go on...say it baby..."AND THE ROCKETS RED GLARE...THE BOMBS BURSTING IN AIR..." Wait...hey did he say it? (Kicks Cadet No. 33 in leg.)
CADET No. 33. HEY, stop it you nerd. No, you're dreaming, he isn't singing.
CADET No. 32: NO, I swear...look, he even has his hand over his heart...
CADET No. 32: What is he saying? We have to follow the Constitution? Since when has he EVER done that? And did he just say...he believes in the Rule of Law? Who wrote this? Glenn Beck? Oh my god, he is talking about our founders! He HATES our founders...are you SURE that's Obama? Oh, I read about this in Sun Tzu...confuse your enemy...I think he's scared of us...yes...I don't blame him...he should be...
CADET No. 33: Will you shut up.
CADET No. 32--- Hey, I saw Cathy...did you see her? Sweeeettt...I'm going to..Hey...did he just say we have to go uplift all the countries from poverty? What? We are the "anchor of global security?" What does THAT mean? I don't care what he says...I'm not going to Haiti and hand out global condoms.
CADET No. 33--- No, he talking about Muslims again. He wants us to go kill them, but only certain ones.
CADET No 32--- Well, how do we tell them apart?
CADET No. 33---You can't moron.
CADET No: 32----What did he just say? We must help Africans feed themselves? The ones over here don't look like they need any more food...what are we suppose to do? Show them how to plant seeds? What are now?
CADET No 33: Steps on his toe...shhhhh.
CADET No. 32: What?
CADET No. 33: Protect the world...go get killed, I am your Commander in Chief...I forgive you...
CADET No. 32: Ha! I knew that brain injury would heal. he's lecturing our parents...Oh my dad is going to love this...'we must have money to go to war'...duh...Now that's he's spend it all, where is all this money going to come from? Is he going to invade Switzerland?
CADET No. 33: Shut up.. old man Piper is looking at us..
CADET No. 32: Wake me when it's over. I can't believe that I had to listen to Obama sound like Glenn Beck on my last day at this hole. Commander in Chief my ass ...shouldn't he go over and lead us into battle?
CADET No. 33: You man. No one would lead your ass anywhere.
CADET No. 32. Hey, I heard that you were going to get engaged tonight? Don't do it man, don't do it.
CADET. No, 33: Nope, I think I'm going to get drunk, then I'm going to get engaged, then I'm going to Afghanistan, and THEN I'm going to feel a whole lot better, because If I can sit through this bull, I can live through anything.
(Nobody Makes this stuff up.)