Thursday, March 08, 2007

Nobody Knows What Women Want...Part 1

Nobody's Opinion: After listening to Bernard Chapin's excellent enclyclical expose on the inumerable ponderings of just WHAT in the world does a woman really want...
(Read by the sexy masculine voice of Mike Lasalle)

I've decided to help him out.

I don't know about all the other women in the world, but I want a yellow plane.

I used to want a yellow Lamborgini---I once owed a yellow Firebird--- sometimes I've thought about a how wonderful it would be to own a yellow diving suit with matching yellow goggles, but since this picture was sent to me by that didactic man of inestimable opinions and intelligent finespuns, amafortas, known to all MND readers) I just can't think of anything else in my life that would make me more happy, at this particular moment.

Proving of course that Bernard's Chapin's feelings that a woman changes her mind more often than a man, (on all subjects but sex) is right on the money.

When I was young, purple was my color. I bought a purple Duster. I had a pair of purple boots that I had to wear for three solid weeks once in New York because my shoe bag was stolen in the first five minutes after I arrived.

Now, I realize that I could never in a million years buy a plane like maybe I should find a gentlemen to buy one for me!

Nah, I'm too old.

Oh, but I'm a typical female! I would want flying lessons too! And then, just when I learned how to fly the plane, I would leave the country!

So what does this mean in the philosophical epicureanism of the female and her cravings?

Maybe it just means that there are a lot of men suffering from colorblindness...

And someday, after I've read all the essays on this subject, I will actually get serious and say something about Nobody's Knows What Women Want, Part II

But tonight, I have to go clean the bathroom.


Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Bill Gates Goes Begging

Nobody’s Opinion: It was real tempting to write on Rosie O’Donnell today, and the fact that she hangs herself upside down for her depression, that was an essay in itself.

But, then I saw Bill Gates on C-Span. Yes, Boy Scout Billy was before the Senate committee begging the Congress to allow more highly trained immigrants into the United States. In fact, placing a no-limit immigrations policy on geniuses from other countries would be nice for Bill.

There is a shortage here, and he makes the claim that if they don’t come here, the other countries will get them.

He makes a good point.

The United States, in the fields of math and science, are now at the bottom of the industrialized barrel, and we will be falling far behind almost everybody else in the world in matters of intellectual property, and competition.

And something tells me he’s not so sure about his China shops. In fact, we have all these big U.S companies closing shops here and moving all their brains and research and development to China because of the cheap labor---while taking the BIG risk that one day, in a Chavez move, the Chinese state will not march a few million perfectly high-stepping soldiers into all their factories and tell them all to GET OUT.

The short-term gain will not be worth the long-term loss as Bill Gates would then say.

Bill was putting forth what everyone knows, but not one single Congressman anywhere will do a single thing about, and that’s the problem. They were too busy gushing and giving him Kudos’s for his many achievements.

If I were him I would have said, “So, when are YOU going to do something about this?”

But, that’s why he’s rich and I’m not. He was just stating facts. He pissed them off once before, in 1998 when Clinton went after him.

Our government wants, not an educated generation of American children, but “community servants.” You see, they don’t really believe, no matter what they say, that the plebian masses are capable of being smart.

Which shows you just how really stupid they are.

All you have to do is take one look at Congress to realize that genetically speaking, the bad genes are being kept at the elite top.

Otherwise, why don’t they fix it? Why has it gone on this way for hundreds of years?

Bill Gates is worried, as we all are. Our public schools are run like prisons, and are so outdated, it’s pathetic. The NEA has morphed into a huge, ugly, conglomeration of government jobs, instead of what it should be: the soil for our country’s future survival.

Yes, the teacher’s union is the problem. Tenure insures failure. Teachers that know they can never be fired so they don’t have to teach the kids, and yet, they still get paid, get nice summers off, and get wonderful pensions. They end up fine and dandy, while our kids will be wondering where they will get the next payment on their car, and go into panic when they can’t find a calculator.

Unless they become teachers too.

Not to mention, half of them don’t even know their own subject.

If you have ever read Bill Gates book, “The Road Ahead,” you can see how he naturally sees his inventions being used to do everything in your life. It was in this book that Bill predicted that our phones, televisions, and computers would all be connected.

At the time I read it I thought he was a megalomaniac, but now in 2007, it’s already here.

Of course, he also thought that the computer was going to save a lot of paper, when in fact, it has tripled paper printouts. (One can’t be perfect.)

Bill Gates was sounding the alarm that the failure comes, mostly in our high schools. We have the biggest rate of drop-outs, more than any other nation.

There was another “genius” who tried to bring attention to the horrible high school system in America, and that was Tom Edison.

Thomas Edison had this to say about it:

Somewhere between the ages of eleven and fifteen, the average child begins to suffer from this atrophy, (the habit of forgetting) the paralysis of curiosity and the suspension of the power to observe. The trouble I should judge to lie with the schools, but its precise seat I would not venture to suggest. Perhaps it lies in a flagging interest, which leads quickly to the habit of listening without hearing, of looking without seeing---a habit which once fixed persists without regard to the existence or non-existence of interest. Whatever it is, it is clear to me that our schools and colleges are truing out men who not merely have failed to learn, but have been robbed of the capacity to learn. They fail to learn because the methods of teaching are wrong. The instructions have made them actually dislike knowledge.

They should have listened to the man, but no…socialism was already creeping into our government in his lifetime.

Think about that. He also suggested that maybe the classes should not be co-ed. Maybe due to all the sexual morals broken down in our society now, it would actually be a good idea to separate the boys and girls when they reach seventh grade.

Oh, they would scream about it now, but they might thank us later.

They could still get together for dances. We could ban the cell-phones.

So why isn’t something being done?

If you’ve ever read Steve Farrell’s essays, then you are familiar with the elite’s plan of the dream “service” economy. Allen Toffler’s “third way,” much like the Iraq war, is not exactly a good plan for us on the lower levels of the highway.

The short-term international dream of globalization is the fall of the United States. As we are all witnessing now, the Fortune 500 Companies are raking in billions for the short-term, but in the long term, they sacrifice the United States.

Bill Gates loves free trade. But free trade works only on a level playing field. Why do we let other countries flood our markets and yet, they protect theirs? Why has our government allowed this to happen?

Is a family trip to the Bahamas mean that much to them?

Bill Gates doesn’t have to worry. He’s practically a monopoly. But, if Ford can be brought down, someday so can Microsoft.

We are now a country without a manufacturing base. And if our kids can’t even keep up the American tradition of creative inventions and entrepreneurship that we have always lead the world in, even Bill Gates should be worried.

And it’s clear, he is.

Someday soon, even our movie industry will be outsourced, and we will not longer be the best at that either. It’s just a matter of time.

Bill Gates went to one of the best “preparatory” schools in Seattle. His family was rich. It was there that the schools “mothers” raised enough money to buy an ASR-33 Teletype terminal. Bill got into that computer and the seed was set. Bill stared his first company at fourteen. Harvard probably bored him.

If not for those mothers, I would probably not be typing this right now on Windows XP.

The United States has not only been known for its unique experiment in liberty with the founding fathers, but also because of its individual creative inventors.

And when it comes to inventors, no class holds a monopoly. They can come from anywhere…from the poorest kid, to the richest.

Depriving the poorest of the opportunity to enrich his own country, by not fixing the horrible public educational system, is just plain stupid.

Bill Gates was rich. Tom Edison was not. Tom was called an idiot by his elementary school teachers.

And the sad truth is; if Thomas Edison were going to a school in America today, they would say the very same thing about him.

This nobody thinks that if a dolphin can be taught to flip up in the air, then just about any kid in America could be taught how to be excited about math and science again.

And if our schools aren’t drastically changed within the next five years, we will all be hanging upside down every day along with Rosie O’Donnell.

Nobody’s Perfect: Bill, of course, fails to mention that most of these educated immigrants he wants to bring in will work at half the cost and take an American job away from someone here who is just as capable of doing the work.

Nobody Knows; Just how many teaching jobs in our public school system are held by women as compared to men.

Nobody Cares; I don’t see why they just don’t get rid of the teachers and put in computers and video’s to teach everything. Put back into the schools, music, art, and P.E.
Hire some really good teachers, and get rid of all the bad ones. Even a little nobody like me could come up with a successful way to teach kids.

And if you were lucky enough to have a good education, you have NO idea what you missed. Be thankful.

After all, Rosie O’Donnell went to a public school. Remember that the next time you do nothing.


Tuesday, March 06, 2007


Nobody's Opinion; Peta told Al the Gore today that they didn't care that he was running around the world on big private jets, spilling carbon junk all over the planet. They did not care that he was driving limos and excusing himself and all his Hollywood friends from using enough electric and gas in their huge mansions to fuel Japan.

No, they were mad because Al Gore is STILL eating meat. A nasty habit he got from hanging around Bill Clinton.

But Al has said he plans to pay for his steak-loving well-padded self---he will donate two moose and two buffalo to Ted Turner's land, for every hamburger, steak, or pork chop he digests in the name of fairness.


In another deadlock moment, John Edwards has not only asked for money every time Ann Coulter calls him a faggot, but wants all Christians to donate money to his campaign for President every time they get up in the morning because, in Jesus' eyes, we are all selfish.

Instead of thinking in the long-term interests of the world, which we are told, half the world has, and WILL have aids in the future...we are thinking of that vacation that we were going to take to the Bahamas so we could pay our respects to Anna Nicole Smith.

This, according to Edwards is because we are still thinking in the short-term. All money we happen to graciously take home from our paychecks should be donated immediately to his campaign office, and given directly to his wife.


Some guy named Scooter Libby was convicted today of a crime that no one in the United States actually cares a dim wit about, because some lady who wasn't even working for the CIA was mentioned in a phone conversation, in a very casual way.

She was not even called good-looking.

The Democrats (actually their leader Bill Clinton) wanted to damage President Bush for Perjury, and make him suffer just like he did, but they had to settle for some one way down the line of command.

So this Libby guy is taking the fall. Which is why Al Gore and Bill Clinton do not get along. Bill wanted Al to say he was in the office with Monica, but Al was not even in Washington the last four years.

Chris Matthews is acting like it's the crime of the century. But, everyone says President Bush will pardon him, and there isn't a thing they can do about it because Bill Clinton pardoned that lady who kept his secrets all through her rough jail time.

This is driving Chris nuts, and makes for wonderful entertainment.


In the political ring, Hillary and Obama are fighting head to head, when he talks in a church, she talks in a church. When he talks to the Jews, she will talk to the Jews. When he goes into the men's room, she will go into the men's room.

They are glued in the battle to the finish.

The Republicans on the other hand, are like the elephants they are, wandering around and grazing slowly.

All they needed was a little mouse, and they all ran.

There will be less deadlock in Iraq, come election year. But until then, they are all stuck.

Nobody's Perfect: President Bush came out today and ordered a check on all veterans hospitals all over the country.

It took a rat to bite a general to finally get his attention. I guess when you're used to living among rats, you just get use to them.

Nobody Knows: How in the world did the news outlets get all those e-mails from the astronaut-gone-crazy-I'm -going-to-maybe-kill- someone...lady?

Makes you wonder...who's reading your mail?

Nobody Cares: Jenna Bush has written a book about a single mom in South America with aids.
Actually, I liked it better when she was drinking beer in Texas. I always thought she'd make a fine bull wresler.

Where's Billy Carter when you need him?


Monday, March 05, 2007

Nobody's Absurdities, No. 38...Coup-de-main, Coup-de-etat, Coup-de-grace

Nobody’s Opinion: On my way to Kentucky Fried Chicken tonight, driving near the airport, (No, I did not see Hillary.) I was listening to a local radio program, when Glenn Beck came on…

As I was approaching the tunnel near Lambert Field, I lost the signal.

Don’t you hate that? Well, it really bothered me because it felt like Glenn was sitting right in the next seat to me, and what he was saying hit me hard. I didn’t want to miss even a sentence of it.

He was on his way to the airport in Florida. He was leaving St. Petersburg, and he sounded scared. Really scared---explaining that he had talked to top level CIA agents, and also had been down in Florida to attend some kind of moderate Muslim convention.

There are very powerful forces he said, keeping the American people from hearing what is going on, and what is going on is enough to turn his hair white.

Something tells me---he wasn’t just trying to drum up listeners for his television program.

I like Glenn Beck. He’s refreshing. He’s informed. He cares. He’s intelligent. Not to mention I like his very creative way of branding himself. He is like the boy crying WOLF but no one takes him seriously because, after all, he is a radio jock who got a TV program, and everyone else is saying “Don’t worry, be happy.”

He’s on CNN, go figure.

Glenn Beck seems to be the only one that is staying on the subject, which is, sooner rather than later, we will be attacked again.

The coup-de-main will be devastating.

The blow will hit us hard…VERY HARD. And like the strange feeling you get in the pit of your stomach, like the premonition you knew you should have listened to, the American people are not ready for it.

People don’t want to believe that our own government not only knows this terrible attack is coming, but that they are not willing to do much about it due to “powerful” interests.

God forbid we stand up to the terrorist says Bill Clinton. Let’s chat.

Anyway, thinking in this same vein tonight…and how absurd it is that with all the terrorists cells existing right in our own cities ready to strike at us on the command…here in no meaningful order, are more absurdities of the day.


Ann Coulter, a great American hero as far as this nobody is concerned…because she had the guts to come out and actually go after Clinton in full force while he was still President, is being attacked with full guns for using the word “faggot” and John Edwards in such close proximity.

Even I was taken aback, until I realized that whatever she said before that statement had a lot to do with the statement itself.

Kind of like when they kept showing the policemen beating Rodney King, but not until days later did we hear that Rodney had been fighting the police for a good 90 minutes while stoned up on some kind of drug …the police got so mad, they just lost it.

The media edits for effect, and to control.

They vilified those police so badly that later, when we saw a black man, drag a white man out of a truck and beat his head in with a brick, we were silence. Why, it’s only fair that a white man should get hurt. Never mind that he had nothing to do with the whole affair.

That’s how much we’ve been programmed. That’s how senseless we’ve become.

Anyway, you would have thought Ann Coulter posted Polaroid’s of John Edwards--- naked, with twelve naked men piled on top of him on her website.

Something tells me, that in a country where someone can be vilified so ruthlessly with such a simple thing as a “word” but actually not even yawn when a President sells our nuclear secrets to China AND enables North Korea to also be able to nuke us and NOT A DAMN FAGGOTED THING IS SAID!---except in a few vigilante online newspapers.

An act so horrendous and so treasonous that we all could die…not to mention that very act enabled China to help Iran with weapons during Clinton’s reign, leaving us all the more vulnerable now….

And NOW this treasonous X-President is probably going to be put BACK in the White House…

Something tells me, this is a country that is really screwed up on its priorities.

You need proof? It’s all around us. Liberals--- people who are FOREVER screaming about how conservatives are not listening to scientific proof, are actually the ones who are living and promoting a new dark ages.

With not much real science to prove that man’s polluting actions are going to destroy the world in ten years, (Muslims with nukes do not scare them at all) they ignore real scientists who prove with solid historical evidence that the world has gone through ice ages, and solar flares, and tremendous weather changes before the car was even invented.

These same liberals who are trying to tell us that homosexuality is NORMAL human behavior, and trying to promote it in all the Hollywood movies…ignoring the real obvious science that for millions of years, men and women have evolved to propagate the species, not men and men, or woman and woman.

Even with Cloning, they will not be able to perfect reproduction as much as evolution has.

But, real science is not important when you are looking for votes, and control.

Liberals, who know they have to get rid of religion, now have discovered Jesus in his tomb. Trying with all their might to erase Christianity and even worse, supporting the Koran, a religion that treats all women like slaves, is getting very scary.

It’s not funny anymore. It’s not even tolerance. It’s insanity.

These great liberals who promote woman’s lib, are silent…SILENT, on the poor Muslim woman who will live out their lives in fear, having to beg their husbands for each simple liberty or trip to the market.

So, how brain dead are we when millions of Americans act like it’s just two political parties fighting, when in fact the liberals daily dish out lie after unscientific lie, that if we all just get out of our cars, get rid of our electricity, (Oh, but be SURE to buy that digital big screen so we can keep up our relentless control of you.) life would be better for us all.

Very brain dead. It’s as if we were all hit in the cerebal vortex with a number one Tiger Wood’s Nike golf ball.

The coup d’etat of our government is happening as we speak. A government that refuses to fight for the lives of its people, no longer exists. I’m not sure who controls it.

And we the people, are in some kind of television coma. If we don’t wake up soon, we will get the final coup-de-grace.

At least according to Glenn Beck, and who am I to argue?

Right now, I’m listening to the man, staying out of tunnels, and buying myself a helmet.

Nobody’s Perfect: Hillary made another fool out of herself last weekend by going to Selma and trying to talk Southern in the black Church. It’s got to be hard on her, to be competing with a man who, like her husband, can out talk her.

She was pandering so hard, I thought I saw dreadlocks.

Nobody Knows: If the cable channels wanted to really get some ratings, they would let Hillary and Obama debate. If we must all be subjected to their nonsense, we might as well see a real fight.

Nobody Cares; Hey, Anna Nicole’s story disappeared entirely! What? Nobody cares anymore who gets the baby or the money?

I love it.


Sunday, March 04, 2007

V is for Very Big Propaganda

Nobody's Opinion: I don't often do movie reviews, but this one deserves a warning...V for Vendetta.

If you consider yourself conservative, if you saw the teaser for the movie at your local theater and thought it looked like it might be about the government controlling our lives a little too much, therefore looking like something you would want to see...

Don't say I didn't warn you.

I won't tell you the plot, it's pretty lame. But what I will tell you is that in this future, the government beats and kills homosexuals, the priests rape women, the man running England is a Nazi "conservative," and the Koran, heaven forbid, in the future is outlawed.

Also, this "conservative" developed a flu which killed over 100,000 people. This all started when the United States started the Iraq war.

In comes V, a man who was tortured by the government, who comes back to blow up Parliment. He of course kills all the bad guys, and a regular communist revolution is started, much like Karl Marx and Lenin managed a revolution long ago.

The New One World Govenment will need a "revolution" in order to come into being. All for the "people."

The same people who did the matrix did this, and they didn't spend much time on it...which means only one thing...the movie has another purpose.

Propaganda. For the promotion of the left and liberals, and the same old communistic dream. Too bad most of the kids watching this will not think of that fact.

Anyway, if things like this upset you, skip the movie, unless you want to know what the left is up to. In that case, my advise is: have a few beers before you load it into your VCR.

And laugh a lot.