Saturday, November 27, 2010

Nobody Flashes Email: Our Educated Congressional Body

Nobody Flashes Email: Many of us were just too busy this week, to notice that Europe is falling apart, minute by minute, right along with the shopping aisles at Target in New Jersey.

I say...let them protest! It's fun to watch!

The whole world is blaming our Congress.

So, we must ask the important question...was this done by very intelligent Congresspersons as a vast conspiracy to sink the world and take it over in a Marxist utopia with a cloned Henry Kissinger pulling the strings? (Of COURSE he's cloned...have you seen him lately?)

Or are this people complete moronic gusseteer (Go ahead, look THAT one up.) harpies, just showing up and pretending they have a clue. I sometimes have my doubt that any of them can actually read.

So, that's why this week's pick of emails fit: Maybe these Congressmen and women never ever said these things while talking to a ticket agent...(you never know with emails) but if we go by what we hear them say in Congress....I'd say...we all leave the country...right now.

PRICELESS: A DC Airport Ticket Agent

Not sure how true these are, but they made me laugh.

This is priceless funny stuff; but alas, is only a small indication of how much trouble the US is in.

A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our country is in trouble:

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts ..''

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ''

his response -- click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried t o explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member(Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D)
called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.

She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those''

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''

The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!

Could anyone be this DUMB?


I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.

(Thanks to Pat)


Friday, November 26, 2010

The Biggest Video Game in the World.

Nobody Flashes: Black Friday is finally over. Many the memory I have of running all over the city on a Black Friday, trying to get the latest video game for my son. And many a child and husband has been bored out of their manly gourds having to stand around while mom looked at purses, shoes, perfume, and pajama's for grandma.
But now...we are in the 21st century, and every American male is playing online. They are buying up games so that they can play Jorge in Sweden and blow his virtual head off. It's exciting, and addicting. But there is one thing they do not know, and I'd advise everyone reading this in America to keep it a secret...
IF you are rich...and IF you can get to Beijing,---- mom could go shopping, and for the low price of $15,000, dad and the boys could play thousands of other people on this 850 foot long video screen.
It might destroy your brain cells, but if it's the adrenaline rush your seeking...just imagine.
IF you are can always find a few chairs at Wal-Mart and tell mom to take her time. Wal-Marts are all over China.
Now, I don't know about you, but I think that musical headache that is downtown Las Vegas is getting pretty old hat. If they could replace it with one of these giant video screens, and put all the lastest games on it, like Halo, it might just save the city. Think of the millions of young men who will be flocking there to play...and of course, the girls will be standing out in the doorways to catch them all like flies on a sticky pad.
The bookies could start a whole other universe of gambling.
And this Nobody Wonders why we do NOT have one of these here?
China won't let us? Mmmmmmm...


Thursday, November 25, 2010

The Lie Detector

Nobody Reports: Nobody just woke up from her turkey sleep to find this by chance. I don't know who wrote this bit, but it should be put into a time capsule, before the next cyberwar...



Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Nobody Flashes Thanksgiving Bride

Nobody Flashes: A Thanksgiving Bride...
and a typical American family dinner joke.
I'll be back on Friday.
Have a Great Thanksgiving!


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Nobody's Perfect: Napolitano VS Reno

Nobody's perfect:

I'm sorry. I couldn't help thinking of Janet Reno this week, while witnessing video's of the poor kids being frightened out of their little minds at airports all across the country, due to the Gestapo tactics of her twin evil sister, Janet Napolitano.

Remember, both were groomed by Bill Clinton, (And Hillary) both were given high powers of justice, and both have a natural habit of loving to scare little kids, along with their mothers and fathers.

Janet Reno managed to kill quite a few of those little kids at Waco, (along with their mothers and fathers) by her Nazi- like methods.

And let us not forget little Elian crying in mortal fear at the man with the big gun, ripping him out of the arms of his relative, at Midnight.

Bill Clinton promoted Janet Reno, and now, Obama has his Janet...

Nothing like getting the "girls" to carry out your dirty work for you.

So, if you had to pick, the lesser of the two evils, which one would you choose?

"Scissors, rock, paper....scissors, paper, rock....paper, rock, scissors....rock, scissors, paper....."


Monday, November 22, 2010

Monsanto: Lord of the Seeds

Nobody's Opinion:

St. Louis was just promoted to the most dangerous city in the United States. And if you had read this book, you might want to agree...not because of the crime rate, but because it is the home of a company that plans to control the entire food chain of the planet: Monsanto.

Monsanto: the company that brought you PCBs, Dioxin, aspartame, Roundup, Bovine Growth Hormone, Saccharin, and genetically altered.. soybean, potatoes, corn, and cotton.

It has a near monopoly on the seed market of the world. It owns 90% of all seeds made. Here in the United States, 70% of our food is genetically altered. And the reason you don't know that is that if you put milk on the market that doesn't contain growth hormones, or your tomato is has been tampered with... Monsanto can sue you.

Thank the big boys in Washington for that one.

And don't let anyone tell you that scientists fooling with genetics is just like the farmers of old, experimenting with different crops. That's bull. It's complicated, but we have lost some pretty precious things with Monsanto's playing god. Monarch butterflies are disappearing, along with bees, and frogs. Due to the genetically engineered products to "feed the world."

The book explains it. You must have a stout heart to get through it.

Second thought, get drunk first.

Monopolies, are like communists, they want complete control. They want to play God.

If this book wasn't' so meticulously researched with fact after fact, I wouldn't be sitting here wondering if this isn't the next atomic bomb.

Let me give you a sliver of the Monsanto apple. Here's some of their products;

Saccharin. ( not good for you) Monsanto started in 1901 by John Francis Queeny, and manufactured Saccharin to be sold only to Coke. We now causes cancer. And they knew it too. Sort of like how the cigarette company knew.

PCB's Coolants and lubricants; Another one of Monsanto's big hits. It's factory was in Anniston Alabama. Sixty thousand pounds were emitted into the atmosphere, 1.8 million were dumped in streams and 68 million pounds of contaminated wastes were deposit in an open pit located in the heart of the city's black population. Hundreds died from cancer and tumors. They knew since 1937 that it was dangerous, but hey! So what?

Everyone was using PCB, and the Navy stopped. Then one day a scientist found PCBs in salmon and the hair of his family. Studies found PCB's everywhere. We all have them in our bodies because they cannot be destroyed. It's in our food change. It cause all kinds of illness, you name it.

Europe banned it. To escape all the lawsuits Monsanto sold its division, Pfizer owned it.

They divided up the millions in damages for the lawsuits.

Dioxin: Just say NOT GOOD: Times Beach (which is about 40 miles from my house) was sprayed with the stuff. Cats, dogs, birds, all died along with about 50 horses. They just destroyed the whole town. The government did not prosecute. (Reagan was President ) but ordered Monsanto to clean up 27 cities. Just a few grams can poison a whole city.

Monsanto dumped 40 pounds a day of dioxin into the Mississippi from its Krummrich Plant. Lysol is filled with dioxin.

They also sold the stuff to the Pentagon to make Agent Orange. These herbicides were developed to kill the plants and starve the enemy. Twenty million gallons of it were dumped on Vietnam. And if you go to the Tu DU Hospital in Hot Chi Minh City you will see horrors of the babies born from mothers exposed to the stuff. Veterans took them to court and won a pittance.
And now they know that Dioxin gets into your fatty cells and stays there. I can see mine already.

Roundup: All I can say is: Tiger Woods might not make it to be sixty.

If you use this stuff, be sure to wear protective not get this stuff on you anywhere, it has killed thousands all over the earth.

They have found that Roundup triggers the first stage of the development of Cancer.

I won't even go into this stuff except to say they developed it to go with their genetically altered seed programs. If you are a farmer and you buy the Monsanto genetically altering soybeans you HAVE to buy the Roundup too, as it is the only herbicide that will work.

And here's a special gift from Roundup: It may be the elites way of controlling the population. It can reduce men's production of sex hormones by 94 percent. It kills embryos

Bovine Growth Hormone: Oh, this is a good one. It makes cows produce milk constantly which makes their utters produce pus, so that they have to give the poor things antibiotics. All of this is passed on to us. It makes us more susceptible to diseases and colds and flu's. Increase our risk for breast cancer.

On the good side, if you drink a lot of milk, you could have twins.

GMO's" I could go on and on, but here's the most dangerous fact.. Monsanto has the monopoly worldwide on the seeds to soybeans and cotton, which are genetically engineered to not reproduce after one seeding.

And it has the patents on all the seeds. Therefore, if you grow food, you owe Monsanto a royalty.

It's main object is to put all the small farmers out of the game, or make them slaves.

If a farmer gets a bigger crop, and takes any seeds, he will be sued. All over the world, Monsanto is putting its genetic seeds and wiping out all the small farmers in India, and South America...everywhere.

And after reading this you have to wonder if our ethanol gas boondoggle promoted by both Gore and Bush wasn't just a favor for Monsanto.

If you read one book in your busy life next year: read this one.

It really is a conspiracy. And we...are the guinea pigs.

When you have patents on all the food in the world, and nobody can grow food without your seeds, you ARE god.

"What you are seeing is not just a consolidation of seed companies, it's really a consolidation of the entire food chain."
Robert Fraley, co president, Monsanto's Agriculture Sector...Farm Journal; 1996.

"Monsanto wants to seize control of the seeds and thence the food of the world."

And it is succeeding.

No wonder their headquarters are so well hidden. I would hide too.


Sunday, November 21, 2010

Nobody Flashes the Bread Winners

Nobody Flashes:
Due to a family situation, I'm running late on my Nobody's Opinion piece tonight.
If YOU have a family...then you know what I mean. So, I'm taking one day off.
In the meantime...SPEAKING OF FAMILIES: Here's an email that I just got...
It will make you wonder just how many "grandmothers" are making a fortune with their "daughters."
Since single mothers now are in the majority...we can pretty much guess.
See you in one day! (Thanks to Pat.)
Bread Winner...Making Babies!

An emergency room physician states that a woman in her 20s came to the ER with her 8th pregnancy. She stated, "my momma told me that I am the breadwinner for the family." He asked her to explain. She said that she can make babies and babies get money for the family. The scam goes like this: The grandma calls the Department of Child and Family Services and states that the unemployed daughter is not capable of caring for these children. DCFS agrees and states that the child or children will need to go to foster care.

The grandma then volunteers to be the foster parent, and thus receives a check for $1500 per child per month in Illinois . Total yearly income: $144,000 tax-free, not to mention free healthcare (Medicaid) plus a monthly card entitling her to free groceries, etc, and a voucher for 250 free cell phone minutes per month. This does not even include WIC and other welfare programs. Indeed, grandma was correct in that her fertile daughter is the "breadwinner" for the family.

This is how the ruling class spends our tax dollars.

Sebastian J. Ciancio, M.D. Urologist, Danville Polyclinic, LTD

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who are not." Thomas Jefferson