Saturday, June 09, 2007

Paris Hilton Reads Sun Tzu

Nobody Knows: this woman planning for war? Do you think that her recent moves at ignoring the laws, the judges, and making sure that all helicopters get shots of her hugging her parents before being sent off to jail is something she learned out of Sun Tzu?

And how about her poor little puppies, who she didn't even kiss goodbye?

Do you think she needs new glasses?

Has her stock in her perfume company just gone up? Or is she planning to take over her father's company some day and is just using her spare time for fun and traveling down the highway at 70-mph with no lights on?

Will Greta Van Sussagrin be able to figure out just what drug Paris was taking to "twitch" in the courtroom.

In fact...will she get room service in jail? And what man is going to define exactly what she needs to do to show "good behavior" in her case?

One thing is certain,---when the only thing any reporter on any American TV channel has been discussing is whether or not poor Paris was treated fairly by that mean, cruel judge, who would NOT have given such a hard sentence to an illegal...

This nobody can only hope they lock all the news reporters up in the jail with her, and they have a power outage.

THEN Paris would get to use all the knowledge that she is learning reading Sun Tzu, and actually give us a reason to admire her.

And the next time she gets out...I suggest we send her to Iraq....pronto.

Not to run the war...but to entertain the men with her vast knowledge of warfare, wearing a nice two piece.

In fact, I can't believe she hasn't thought of this option: ......or has she? Now that would be communty service that she could actually do.

I'm sure there is a Hilton in Bagdad...if not...there will be soon.


What Do Paul McCartney and George Steinbrenner Have In Common? Hint...Not Paris Hilton.

Nobody’s Perfect: Reading through the daily comments on MND is always an eye opener: and now since the focus is back on track…and the track seems to be: How do men get back their rights and protect themselves against the formidable roadblocks put up against them in the courts? And how do they protect themselves against those cunning and fractious women out to grab every single cent while raising their kids to hate their dads?


Since changing the whole court system is going to take some time, not to mention the fact that the women are outnumbering men in opening businesses, graduating from college, and getting great jobs on Fox News---if Hillary is elected, there will be more women in Congress…it doesn’t look promising.

Well, I been reading, and watching... the answer is pretty clear. Maybe I missed it. I was hoping one of the more educated guys on the blog would suggest it…you know the guys with degrees. But no…

So, again…here comes that pesky woman nobody --- (me) who actually did this very simple thing after she got so bitterly burned in her first married. I told myself…like a Zina Gonzman
disguise so many years ago, (15 to be exact)…never again.

It’s pretty simple. It’s called a pre-nuptial agreement, and you can just about put anything you want into the thing. You can say that all future assets are yours to control, that if divorced you will have joint custody. And if divorced you will get the house, your guns, and your favorite big screen…whatever you think is fair to yourself. (If I did it over, I'd request a trip to a tropical island included...)

All you have to do is get the one you love to sign it.

If they love you…and it’s fair, and may I suggest you do make it so, they will do it in a heartbeat.

If they give you any slack…keep looking.

I’ve heard the argument from many that “No…even if there is a pre-nup Joyanna, it can be tossed out in some states.”

Well, that’s why you get a good lawyer…Donald Trump did. And it’s the one thing you CANNOT afford to not be able to afford. Make sure it’s a REALLY good document.

I can’t tell you how good it is to know that, even if I die, my house that I had free and clear before my second marriage because my grandfather had owned it, then my mother, and then me, ( first husband left me with nothing but bills.)….will go after my husband dies to my son, not his daughter from his first marriage.

Sounds selfish, but that’s tough. I also put in it that if divorced I am NOT liable for any outstanding bills of his…etc…you can put all kinds of neat stuff in it, in fact you should.

I’m pretty sure that most of humanity will feel that if you screwed up and picked the wrong choice the first time around…you are allowed that mistake. After all, how else are you going to learn?

But to NOT sign a pre-nuptial the second time is taking a big risk, I don’t care how much in love and how sure you are. Don't let those big....eyes seduce you.

Recently there were two men who took that risk…and these men should have known better: Paul McCartney and George Steinbrenner.

Paul, we’ve heard about. He jumped right into another marriage after his wife died, and that lady in four short years, got much more than she deserved…and tried to ruin his reputation on top of it. And as if to rub the wound deeper, she has his baby right before the breakup (to make SURE to get more money) and goes dancing on American television just to make him suffer, as if to say, “Oh, I’ve recovered already from that guy!”

Now if Paul had been Joe Blow, a man who had not been around the world, or unlike Paul, only had five relationships under his belt instead of having more women then probably any man alive (besides Elvis) …a man who has been at the top of his profession…who did NOT sign a pre-nupuial, then what does that say?

Dare I say it about the biggest crush of my pre-teenage years? He was pretty stupid.

George Steinbrenner, on the other hand DEALS in money. That’s his business. But here’s what he did. He owns a controlling interest in the Yankees, he grants his new son-in-law a financial take in his business and then his daughter divorces him. Now, he is stuck, sharing his fortune and hard work with another man he probably would like to strangle.

Although, any man who fires a coach five times (Billy Martin) and hires him back…certainly has a soft heart underneath his brains for big business, which is probably just what got him in trouble.

Still, that’s no excuse.

The message here, (quoted from an article in the June issue of Inc, Breakup Blues) “If you plan to give ownership stakes to your children, make sure they get preumps from their future spouses.”

How these two giants could make such a huge colossus mistake is beyond this nobody’s comprehension.

In this day and age, when one out of every two marriages ends in divorce, I would think a pre-nuptial is a lot cheaper than paying the pain, price, and heartache of getting screwed so badly in the court system that you end up paying the rest of your life.

I don’t know if there are websites for people who want to “personalize” their own legal pre-nuptials for a smaller fee than the normal fee charged...they have them for every other legal procedure.

But there should be…and I would suggest it should be advertised on this site. And if there isn’t…some guys could sure start a really good thing by starting a website providing that service..a service that would be good for men, women, and any future children…and bad for the lawyers.

Having a good pre-nuptial is like having good insurance. It’s the smart thing to do.

Nobody Knows; Having said that, if Sharia law is allowed into the United States as the Muslims plan, then you won’t need a pre-nup…just a good sword.


Thursday, June 07, 2007

Amnesty Delayed!

Nobody's Opinion: Wow...happy news! The Senate today has delayed the vote for mass extinction of the English -Speaking American!

Of course, many of us stout hearted, patriotic, and very upset citizens did put up a lot more noise than I'm sure we will ever know.

That doesn't mean that it will end. After all, the EU will go ahead as planned...the North American Merger will go ahead as planned...

Highway construction has already started.

But...nevertheless, that doesn't mean we should stop fighting for our rights. Any kind of victory, however small, is a good sign.

And if you are the only person reading this; then...thank you for being my only reader. Go get a beer, I know I'm going to have a small glass to celebrate!


Nobody's Aburdities, No. 45--A Grocery List of Dichotomies

Nobody’s Opinion: While making out my grocery list this morning, I found myself counterpunching myself in the head with the various issues of the day. How was I ever going to get myself organized until I got the absurd mess in my head straighten out?

Then I heard the news that the General Mills Corporation was going to be charging more for their breakfast cereals due to the high gas prices. But because they were going to put them in smaller boxes, your price would be cheaper…fooling the public once again into having to buy more for their buck. The box, like your potato chip bag, will be generously filled with air, which you can breathe if you like.

Anyway, that explains how that dog food taste crept into my Quaker Oat Meal. China after all needs cheap oil too.

This news didn’t stop me from making a grocery list of absurdities in order to come to some kind of reasonable decision…so many dichotomies…so little time. God forbid I get stuck in rush hour traffic.
So, here in no particular schizophrenic grocery-list order, are my Nobody’s lists of current absurdities, filed lovingly under Number 45.


Let me see if I got this straight:

From the Fruit Department: Libby VS Jefferson:

Some guy named “Scooter” Libby has been given a thirty month jail sentence for telling someone on the phone that some hot blond used to work for the CIA. (Used to work are the important key words here.) Scooter’s main crime was basically, according to the New York Times, who actually never mentioned just exactly what Libby did that was so terrible, was that it was Libby who planned the Iraq war (mentioned about every other line) and he was working for the most evil man in the world---Vice President Cheney. Last time I looked, both the “Wilsons” (the abused) did not look damaged at all, but very happy and wealthy. In fact, the woman (Valerie) looks so good, Rush Limbaugh wants a date.

So who did Libby hurt? Her “secret” was actually known among most of the press, and if anything, this nobody citizen thinks it’s awfully suspicious that two people who were BEST friends with Bill and Hillary Clinton, were the ones who put out the story about Saddam maybe or maybe not buying nukes in Africa. In other words…the hot mamma and her angry husband also could have made the whole “whatever” about WMDs on order of a former President whose wife would benefit from that “lie,” especially if a whole war was based on the “lie”…and from a very big liar himself…but now Libby lied…it’s all so confusing. Obviously the fruitcakes have nuts in them.

The other guy…William Jefferson, was found with $90,000 of extortion money in his fridge, and was ALSO caught money laundering small fortunes from African stock options, which are probably still in his fridge in the Bahamas. Not to mention he was taking bribes even on the sacred Senate floor, which has not been sacred since the first footprint. He has been charged with 16 felonies…MUCH worse than a telephone conversation one would think. Still, Jefferson gets reelected, and told that maybe in the future he will be asked to step down from the Senate, but the chances of that happening are slim.

They need him in Louisiana so they say. Who else has got the money to help those people out?

Since Mr. Libby did not deal drugs, and is not needed in any state, he will probably not get a pardon but will rot in jail. William Jefferson…will go on to become the next Vice President.

When buying fruit, you must be prepared to remember that it goes rotten fast.


From the Mexican Food Department: Protected Borders VS Invasion

In order to protect our borders, we need a fence. But, it’s going to have to wait because we don’t have enough money. Taxpayers money is going to rebuild Iraq instead, which is very hard to do since every two minutes a bomb is going off and replacing those marble toilets in Saddam’s palaces are not that easy. BUT that doesn’t discourage our Big American Contractors--- Oh NO! We will continue to build new schools, new hotels, new embassies, new military bases, new hospitals, and new Starbucks, and not only in Iraq--- but all over the world! (Why everyone hates us is a real mystery.)

In fact, this is such a huge endeavor that our own border guards, planes, and equipment are being sent everywhere we can put down a McDonalds, leaving our own borders completely open to anyone who cares to head across: drug lords and terrorists have especially big families to bring in and LOTS of big weapons to take in and out! Because of this our own drug use has risen dramatically, along with crime, and rape, prisons overloads…and bad Mexican food…but we American’s now have cheap spinach! Never mind that spinach and fruit was cheap even before the Mexicans started picking it…but these cheap prices will not last due to the gas shortages.

In the meantime, the whole electrical infratstructure of the United States broke down last year. New Orleans, Alabama, and the rest of Mississippi... will be rebuilt sometime after the rest of the world is rebuilt. (4012) First things first.

George W. Bush, on this D-Day, has even…just to show what a great guy he is, decided to protect Europe with a cool missile defense system put on their borders. Here he has made sure we American get messages daily to be prepared for a nuclear attack---maybe 7 cities will be nuked.

I guess we will get our missile shield later.

My advice from the Mexican Food Department…don’t drink the water, don’t brush your teeth, and find a friendly Mexican to mow your lawn, whether you can afford one or not.

From the Cookie Department: Al Gore VS American Who Like to Drive Cars

Al Gore has such a sweet tooth…that he is going to save us all from, as Bush so delicately put it,“being addicted to oil.” Yes, we Americans are porking out on greasy oil so badly it’s running down our cheeks. It’s disgusting. American is being asked to conserve energy. By adding our carbon prints and donating trees to Indonesia, Al Gore will make money so that he can pay HIS big carbon footprint, and that’s important for us to know. So important the NBC has given him 85 free hours on TV to tell us about it. Al Gore is a real cookie junkie. He is a real Oreo. And he wants YOU to change your habits. Rich people do not have to do this, because they can afford decent food, and therefore they never get fat off cookies. And if we don’t do this, we will surely die.

On the other hand, the American people are being told it’s our own fault for wanting to drive bigger cars in order to NOT BE KILLED in little weenie cars. More people are killed every year by car accidents than by any IRAQ WAR!

What? (Okay, my research assistant took the day off, but I do know that’s a fact.)

But, that’s beside the point. By now, we all know that oil reserves are NOT made by dinosaurs but oil is actually abundant everywhere. And like the government paying the farmers NOT to grow food, the oil company is NOT making oil refineries because they are BOTH making too much money! And diamonds are being kept off the market to up the price, so that greedy women will have them on Valentine’s Day and small boys in Africa can listen to rap music and shoot guns! (I know, it’s a pretty good movie) And if that’s not bad enough, this ethanol from corn, will drive the price of everything up even more than the oil…because it costs more to make fuel from corn than oil and pollutes more too, which will mean even MORE carbon dollars for Al, who despite what he thinks, will die of an overdose of sugar.

It also means Americans will have no more corn to eat. The Mexicans are already pissed off about it.

My advice…do not buy cookies…they are already on your computer. (I couldn’t help it.)


From the Meat Department: Christianity VS Islam;

One man draws a cartoon of Mohammed in a paper, and cases riots and condemnations all over the world. For that crime, billions of taxpayers money is handed over to the Saudi Princes so that they can built schools and Mosques IN the United States, which teaches all their little Muslim children how to hate the very people who welcome them into their country by never asking them for a minute to get a life and take off their stupid burkes. They are never stopped at airports, but can walk into any terminal without suspicion and the security guard will let them pass, but they WILL stop the cute blond with the laptop, every single time.

Christians on the other hand must take down all representations of the ten commandments posted anywhere, and be ordered to stop singing, “God Bless America,” while the Muslims will continue to have special places built just so they can pray five times a day, no matter what they are doing.

The difference between the two religions is like a slice of baloney and a Porterhouse Steak. We are becoming a nation of baloney. Pass the mustard.

My advice is: Learn how to barbeque.

And as if this was not enough to think about, the very serious discussions of men and woman issues got heavy yesterday on MND…I remember reading about flaccid penis’s on the blog.

Flaccid penis’s VS Un-Flaccid penis. It’s come to this.

Well, I have news for the feminists. You are not equal. You will never be equal. BUT…if you start seeing “boyie” magazines where men are standing in various stages of Un--flaccid penis poses…thereby causing all men to compare their various sizes, and then thousands of men are reported spending millions to get BIG UN-FLACCID penis implants…

Then I’d say…you’ve come a long way baby.

By the way…this Nobody apologizes to Denis Noe...a most prolific and very intelligent writer about all these men things….I’m just having a bit of whipped cream fun before the baloney hits the fan, Denis, forgive me.

After THAT subject…I’ve just decided to grocery shop tomorrow.

Nobody Cares; The above picture happens to be an actual Walrus’s Un-flaccid penis. Thank you to Dave Barry, the proud owner, for the picture


Monday, June 04, 2007

Cajoling Mass Comas

Nobody’s Opinion: Last weekend, I was watching Al Gore on C-Span endeavoring to convince a roomful of innumerable delicate minds fraught with perplexed eyebrows, who were waiting for the Master of Disaster to tell them how to “reason,” and he told them they could all learn by buying his new book on the subject.

Al Gore, the man who invented the Internet, discovered our environmental road to Armageddon, now claims to be the Master of Reason.

I don’t know how he lives with himself, because if he had any reason, he would shut up.

It was hard to watch him, because his left eyebrow gives me the creeps.

Nevertheless, the news I heard today about Rep. William “hide the money in the fridge!,” Jefferson finally being convicted of 16 counts of federal crimes and it reminded me of something Gore said in his speech.

He was informing, rather sardonically in fact, that while the globe was melting, our news media programs were filling our lives with news flashes of Paris Hilton, thereby insinuating that we are being purposely lulled into some kind of mass coma, by the vast right wing conspiracy, out to destroy the plant

Obviously, his people have been reading the conservative blogs; the liberal bloggers did not even notice this.

So that’s why I was surprised to hear that Jefferson was indicted at all. Why now?

Why now? (I repeat myself) Because this week is just probably one of the most important weeks happening in American history...over the fight of illegal immigration….before America turns into little Mexico City.

All our discussions should be on anger and outrage about our senators along with the President deciding to get rid once and for all the middle class and any hope of the American dream for REAL Americans, not to mention the millions who will be coming here wanting the American dream.

It should be on THAT instead of an outrage of just one big time crook, who was taking bribes in Africa, setting up companies all over the continent, and asking for 5 to 10 percent of the stock options from those companies to make him and his relative’s major fortunes.

That subject does not effect my grandchildren's right to survival.

Jefferson committed a crime of huge proportions (two YEARS ago) only to be re-elected to represent Louisiana and then be given a nice position in Nancy Peloesi’s offices of power--- assuring the fact that either: 1. Everyone is Louisiana has been eating poisoned food from China, or 2. No one has come back and the ones still there had no way to get to the voting polls, due to the fact that all the buses were destroyed in Katrina.

Now we find out that Jefferson has made a huge bundle in Africa.

I don’t know about you…but for the LONGEST time, I kept wondering just why in the Sam Hill everyone in Congress and the EU wants to “save” Africa. Billions of taxpayer’s money from the Western Nations has poured into that place for years, and the place seems to just get worse.

But today, the FBI made it abundantly clear why politicians are always making trips over there. They help “companies” set up infrastructures of oil, electric, sewer, etc. and in return, they personally get a nice big “kick-back.”

The Democrats are good at this…remember Haiti? Remember how the whole black caucus just about went nuts when it was taken over in a coup during the Clinton administration, and Carter and Powell had to go down and straighten things out?

Something tells me it was more than the “poverty” that upset them.

All over the nation, we have watched Black entrepreneurs with little or no education OR experience, running around the world setting up major tele-communications companies, TV stations, radio and cable conglomerates, backed by the democratic caucus. And these guys got BIG money for their troubles.

They have white bankers literally salivating at their feet wherever they make appearances. I know, I go to a lot of their book signings.

Since this nobody’s experience with “big business” is limited…I really can’t say how they are hiding this very common practice so well.

But I do recall Ron Brown, the man who used to take everyone who had "donated” to Bill Clinton’s pocket on business trips to China and Africa on Air Force One….

And then he ended up dead from a plane crash with a big hole in his head.

It just goes to show; sometimes they just have to sacrifice a soldier, like William Jefferson.

I don’t know about you, but I wonder, just how many other of our Congressmen are doing exactly the same thing that Jefferson was doing every time they go on their trips around the world.

Something tells me, we won’t miss watching the Soprano’s. Who knows what we would find in the fridge’s of our Congressmen?

I’d be afraid to ask, I think I'll go find something in my fridge and induce a nice coma.

Nobody Cares
: I once, like Rep. William Jefferson, found money in my fridge, in a grocery bag.

It was mine. I had lost it two years earlier, and I have NO idea how it got there, since it was about the size of a ten-pound ham.

It was I who was indicted because everyone in my family knows me. If you want something lost, I’m your huckleberry.

And since I was the dummy who suffered the trauma from it all (renewing license, calling Credit Cards...etc) they decided they’d let me off easy.

They only bring up the “story” once or twice a year, and wouldn’t dare bring it up this week, because they do NOT want to see me angry, the border issue is enough for now.


Sunday, June 03, 2007

JFK, Hillary's Man, and a Saint

Nobody Knows: I just heard on Drudge’s radio show that Hillary came out rough and tough against John Edwards during the democratic debates today about the REAL threat of terrorists, due of course to the events talked about all weekend…the planned plot of four terrorists to destroy New York's JFK airport.

I didn’t watch it, so I can only read the reports.

You sure couldn’t tell that they (Bill and Hillary) took the subject of terrorists seriously during the Billary eight years in office did you? They not only ignored every single terrorist attack, they have always sided with the Muslims on almost every issue. Bill Clinton even reprimanded the Christians for the Crusades.

Hillary also said: “Bill Clinton, my dear husband, (oh please) would be sent around the world as roving ambassador.”

He would rove alright.

The fact that she put in the words “my dear husband” means, she needs Bill Clinton BIG time to win the Presidency.

Bill Richardson said if he was elected he would Bill back to the Middle East.

So..just how many people does Bill Clinton HAVE running for this dog and pony show? Bubba Billy is certainly not putting all his eggs in one basket is he? He even has his own Republican boy Huckavee from Little Rock on the other side, just in case.

Huckavee wants the immigration act to go through, and its seems that only one Democrat raised their hand tonight when asked if they would make English the official language.

To our elite rulers of both parties it seems the less of the population that understands them, the better.

Hillary has to get all the single young women to come out and vote, so she HAD to sound tough. Unfortunately, many people are falling for her act.

But why did the terrorists pick JFK? Hillary herself could not have picked a more fortuitous and propitious time for this “terrorist” act to come out, in order to help her along with her recently falling image, because of her lone democratic stance on “terror.” This has been killing her ratings.

JFK, a catholic, son of prohibition rich criminal thug, voted in with the help of Mayor Daley and the Chicago mob, is the perfect poster boy for the most favorite Democrat that ever reined in office.

Remember…one of the terrorists claimed he picked the airport because JFK’s is so loved by America. “It’s like you can kill the man twice,” said Defreitos, who had worked in the cargo area for a decade.

Hey, I don’t know about you, but there are many of us that thought more of the son than the father, so his reasoning is way off kilter here, therefore the suspect.

More people would be upset about travel plans, then the name of the airport…get real.

If there was a Republican Rosie she might say that this was all “disinformation” set up to give Hillary a much needed BIG push in the polls…as it has certainly done---but then again, we always believe what we are told…who are WE to question, right?

Last Friday night, I was surprised to see on TV, some guy who was some kind of expert talking about how simply ridiculous it was to think that JFK had been killed by anyone except Oswald…and he continue to pontificate about all the lies in Oliver Stone’s movie, and how the Warren Commission was the truth…and anyone who thought otherwise was a complete idiot. It was time we all stop listening to “conspiracy theories” and accept the truth once and for all.

Yeah, and amnesty is not amnesty.

Maybe George W. Bush was teaching this guy how to talk to the American public.

Americans are starting to get REAL tired of being scolded like little kids.

So this nobody was wondering…why in the WORLD are we still hearing about this stuff…at a time like this? (This was before the JFK plot came out.) Hmmmmmmm

MAYBE it’s because in the last few weeks…E. Howard Hunt’s son, Saint John Hunt (I know…what a name.) is playing a tape on radio stations of his dad just before he died. (Remember Hunt was sent to jail for Watergate.)

And his father admits on the tape that basically LBJ killed JFK because, in his works “His lust to become President was almost maniacal.”

Maniacal lusting to become President seems to be the norm I’d say, but I’m just a forlorn nobody.

It brought back memories of a book I had read long ago called, “Blood, Money, and Power” Written by LBJ’s personal lawyer, (Barr McClellan) who also claims LBJ had him killed. At the time, I thought it was possibly, but the corruption reported in the book about our whole system of government, and was too much for me to stomach at the time, so I took it for a “who knows?”

But last night I heard that Richard C. Hoagland (one of my favorite wise men) is coming out with a book in which he agrees with “Saint” and says it even bigger than what his son thinks.

So…my reasoning is;

If Al Gore can run a world campaign scaring and intimidating everyone around with almost outrageous “propaganda” and clever pandering, in order to force all the governments and people in the world to fork over gazillions in environmental extortion taxes, then I don’t think a little “terrorists” disinformation plot to blow up the JFK terminals over the weekend to help give Hillary Clinton a boost in her ratings for President would be too far-fetched…

NOT that I don’t think Muslims want to kill…because I do.

It’s just that Hillary is still Senator in New York…and Teddy Kennedy still lives there, and the mob is still alive and well (in N.Y.) and she got elected in New York and all she did was show up a at few Tupperware parties.

What, are we all fools?

When we as citizens are being told how terrible we are by our elected politicians on a daily basis, why should we trust any of them?

Personally, I wish I could believe Hillary really cares about protecting the country, but actions speak louder than words, as have seen in the actions of George Bush.

Which makes you wonder…who is Hillary sleeping with?

It might not be Bill Clinton, but then again...he's a "dear man" for helping her out. And if made ambassador to the world, no doubt the Pope will annoint him the next saint.