Friday, June 06, 2008

A Bath of Blood? Or a Celebration?!

Nobody Flashes Anymore: The celebrations in the Middle East continue to rejoice at the almost assured Presidency of Obama next year. according to even Bob Dylan, who, by the way, has come out today and endorsed Obama, showing proof that the years of Bob's heavy drug use have truly caused massive brain damage.

This also gives hope to all gay Muslim men, who have been hiding in the closet for years. With Obama's great message of "Change" for the world, they are hoping the Mullahs will finally let them all take baths, without getting their feet cut off.

Okay---if a simple cartoon caused almost clear riots in the street....someone tell me why this float got no attention at all? Notice the skulls.

It's funny the pictures floating around the Internet...I'm just saying.


Thursday, June 05, 2008

The Kennedy of Obama

Nobody Wins: We all remember the horror of that black and white picture…Robert Kennedy laying on the floor, the blank stare on his face--- the blood by his head.

Today was the anniversary of Robert Kennedy’s assassination on June 5, 1968, and here it is so many years later and yet---what do we know about it?

Not much.

And why is that? Was it because it was a Jew-hating Muslim that killed him instead of a white guy who looked like your normal everyday criminal? Was it because, like many believe, he was actually killed by the CIA because like his brother and Martin Luther King he wanted the Vietnam War to end?

While hundreds of books have been written about JFK’s assassination, there has not been much speculation about Robert’s murder in the media. Was it because he wasn’t as important as JFK? Was it because too many citizens might start wanting the answer to just who and just why two members of the Kennedy family were boldly shot?

Okay, just who did the Kennedy family piss off? And was it our own government who had them killed?

Well, sorry you nobodys of America, you are not allowed classified information. Information that would probably make you actually think our government has gotten just a bit too big for comfort.

Doesn’t the fact that it is not talked about much tell you something?

One thing we do know is that the Kennedy family was smart enough to take those horrible family tragedies and use them in a continuous media yearly bombardment on our emotions to keep the family entrenched forever at the top of the political power structure.

And in this light, Ted Kennedy’s recent brain tumor, though extremely sad for him and his family, couldn’t have come at a better time for Obama. All Ted will have to do is limp onto Obama’s stage, and angels will sing. Obama will be a sure thing.

(I’m hoping Ted hands Obama a set of car keys, but don’t mind me.)

Remember that adorable picture of little John saluting his father’s coffin? We all thought it was Jackie who coached him, when actually it was Ted and the rest of the family, making the kid practice for hours…so the photo-op would be perfect.

I don’t know about you, but I find something very creepy about that fact.

The Kennedy camelot dynasty had to be preserved because let’s face it; they have a lot of mouths to feed. I mean, it’s not as if they have any other occupations to fall back on, is it?

The moment Senator Ted Kennedy and Caroline Kennedy came out for Obama to carry on the Kennedy legacy, Hillary was practically doomed. I actually think this hurt her more than Bill’s daily blunders, or Obama’s incredible speech reading abilities.

Being consummate politicians, the Kennedy’s saw an excellent opportunity to resurrect their images, and therefore their fortunes…and their family fantasy of the Kennedy’s family always fighting for the little guy.

Sure, they will fight, as long as that little guy stays on his side of the tracks.

Obama’s no fool. Like a good Kennedy he knows the win/win situation here, because he can attach himself to the already established propaganda that a liberal like JFK could do no wrong, even if history showed he didn’t do much right but marry Jackie.

While liberal historians will tell you JFK was a real tiger facing the Soviet Union down, not all remember it that way. A lot of people who lived through the times were pretty mad while they were digging big holes in their backyards.

JFK was also the man who started sending “advisors” over to Vietnam.

And that line---“Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.”

I always hated that line. As if we don’t do enough for our “country.” As if our ancestors, sons, fathers and brothers have not given enough lives. As if all the taxes they force us to pay ---trillions wasted, not accounted for…for what?

Our country was founded on, “We the People” not “We the Politicians.”

So, what will be Obama legacy should he win the Presidency? What will be his “Bay of Pigs?” Do we need to start digging again?

Or will, like Hillary hint…something happen?

Obama may want to be in the Kennedy family, but all of us are thinking, although no one is saying…make Hillary VP? Are you crazy?

The country has enough problems.


Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Hillary Gone?

Nobody Cares: After realizing that Hillary had lost the nomination to Obama, one of her devoted and hard working supporters just couldn't take it anymore. Either that or he found out that the girl in the next cubicle had slept with Bill. See Video here.

And so, while most of us were waiting for the "other" shoe to drop, meaning, what exactly did Hillary hint at when she said anything could happen...many of us are busy wondering just where we will be in 2012.
And we wonder this while forgetting where we put our glasses.

Will Brittany still be stoned? Will Madonna mummify? Will Paul McCartney remarry?
Will I be able to grow grass (not the kind you smoke...I'd faint.) in my backyard? Will Obama go to Iran and fall in love with a virgin? Will Sex in the City become Sex in the Mosque?
Will gas be ten dollars a gallon?
Will Mars still have water? Will we have to suffer reruns of Lethal Weapons forever?
Will Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie fight over who gets the kids in their divorce?
So many little time. The next election has a logan. Good thing they found out wine is good for you...
Myself, I will still be wondering just how they pulled off running the three most horrible candidates in American history and make us all beleive that the people actually picked them.
Only in Hollywood.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

This Bud's Not for You

Nobody Knows: There are moments in your life, and I’ve had a few, when you look at something and are just so in awe of it’s magnificence, you just know there is a God, because nothing short of a miracle, and certainly nothing so lame as a “evolutionally fluke” could create such a wonderment.

That’s how I felt once when I first looked into the eyes of a Clydesdale at Busch Gardens in St. Louis. I visited the stables of these great giants and was struck by how humongous even the babies were. Okay, men in Scotland bred years to get this huge, wonderful, King of a horse, but still…God gave them some mighty good seeds.

If you find me in front of one of these creatures, you would have to literally knock me off my spot with a baseball bat to get me to move, because I’m in heaven---leave me alone. The only reason I watch the Rose Parade is in anticipation of the sight of these beautiful creatures pulling the famous Budweiser wagon.

I still get a thrill at watching them strut. I’m sure it was an even bigger thrill for the people of St. Louis who first saw an 8-horse team of Busch Clydesdales pulling huge barrels of beer down the main city streets the day Prohibition ended back in 1933…but that thrill may soon be ending.

Due to the ongoing agenda of “globalization,” it is being reported that the St. Louis Anheuser-Busch brewery might soon be swallowed, by InBev, a bigger global-beer conglomerate. And since the Busch kids own less than four percent of the controlling stock, once again, the stockholders who will benefit from the takeover might just go for it.

Well, duh.

As they say, another one bites the dust. And if the Busch brewery bites the dust, St. Louis might as well be mud. The Busch brewery is the last remaining big downtown manufacturing plant we have.

St. Louis in the last decades has had takeovers of GenAmerica, Southwestern Bell, Boatmen’s Bancshares, McDonnell Douglas, Ralston Purina, TWA, May Department Stores and A.G. Edwards. Not to mention the closing of all our big car manufacturers plants---Ford and Chrysler.

God, it’s hard to watch your city die.

St. Louis used to be a great shoe town, so this downsizing of American industries is really nothing new. Thousands have lost jobs here. Now we only have one big guy left, Monsanto--who along with Bill Clinton, was recently trashed by Vanity Fair as a real monster.

And yet, and yet…many of our beloved conservative leaders, continue to tell us that everything is fine and dandy. Big business is a good thing. Why, there is growth! From the President, to internet economists, to Rush Limbaugh---America has not changed. To them, capitalism is doing just fine.

What do you expect? You spend too many years in a bubble and you get bubble heads.

If the Democrats are stuck in the sixties, the Republicans are just plain stuck.

But St. Louis was my town, a beer town, a happy town---thanks to a skinny German named Adolphus Busch, who around 1891, started making his beer. For years he gave St. Louis people jobs, security, baseball, and pride.

Not to mention lots and lots of great beer.

His son---Gussie Busch not only loved St. Louis, he loved its people. You could see it on his face. He was a tough business man, but fair. If you worked for Anheuser-Busch, you were treated like gold and had a job for life.

But his son was a different guy. When his dad died, August the III (a Republican) became a true globalist. The first thing he sold was his father’s beloved ball club, the Cardinals. Everyone was crushed.

To all of us here, the message was; Money first, people second. Hey, it’s a new world, baby.

Once upon a time, it wasn’t like that. Once upon a time, even the rich were proud to be Americans. J. Paul Getty Jr. was so rich by the time he was 27, he retired. But his dad told him he had a responsibility as a rich man…and that was to give people jobs. So, he went back to work.

Now the rich fathers must say, “Give people jobs, just not Americans.”

What can I say? This Bud’s for you?

Take me out to the ballgame where just one cup is the price of a whole meal?

No, take me to see the Clydesdales, one... last….time.


Monday, June 02, 2008

Obama Finds Humbleness

Nobody’s Perfect: Sung to that famous old country song....Oh Lord It's Hard to be Humble

“Oh Lord its hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way
According to Chris Matthews and bin Laden, I get better looking each day.
To know me is to love me, I must be a hell of a man
Oh Lord its hard to be humble, but I’m doing the best that I can.

There’s a woman who’s running against me, but I guess she just couldn’t compete
With millions of liberal stoned students, who keep clamoring at my feet.
I had to ditch my pastor; he was causing big problems for me.
Who cares if I never get the white woman’s vote, the delegates are plenty for me.

Oh Lord its hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way
According to Tom Hanks and Ted Kennedy, I get better looking each day.
To know me is to love me, I must be a hell of a man
Oh Lord its hard to be humble, but I’m doing the best that I can

They all say that I’m a uniter, a black man educated and proud
I could have the white vote if I want to, but then I wouldn’t stand out in the black crowd.
Some folks say that my politics are communistic, hell I don’t even know what that means.
I guess it has something to do with, the way I look in my bullet-proof limousine…

Oooooooooooooooh Lord it’s hard to be humble, when you’re perfect in every way
I can’t wait to get to the White House, I will give all the country away.
To know me is to love me, no one speaks as well as your man
Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble, but I’m doing the best that I can.”


Sunday, June 01, 2008

Puerto Rico---Where's the Coin?

Photo: Lost American gets directions to Puerto Rico...
Nobody’s Opinion: You’re never too old to learn…who said that? I don’t know, but if there is one thing you can say about the United States it’s if you don’t like the political weather today, stick around, it will change. You learn at least that.

And one new thing that is coming as a big surprise to me during this unprecedented thousand-year election is that somehow, out of nowhere, the United States has gained a new “state”: Puerto Rico. Yes, Puerto Rico has become a very powerful player in the American elections…who knew?

I certainly find it surprising. Puerto Rico has been “owned” by the U.S. since1917….but they kept that a big secret. Back in 1898, Spain gave Puerto Rico, Cuba, the Philippines, and Guan to the U.S. in the Treaty of Paris. (So why again did we lose Cuba? Anyone?)

Once, when the Puerto Ricans tried to become independent of the U.S., the leader was thrown in jail by Harry Truman---a jail in Atlanta, poor guy.

Still, the Puerto Ricans were good American citizens; they make very good soldiers and New York dish washers. In fact, there are more Puerto Ricans here in the United States than there are in Puerto Rico, and there is a good reason for that.

They also make good test rats.

Not many people know that back in the 1930’s, it was decided by our government (probably by someone in Al Gore’s family) that the Puerto Rican women were just having too many babies. So they sterilized them. Of course, the women did not realize they were being sterilized.

Like I said, you’re never too old to worry about population control, if you’re a rat.

I was never taught in any public school that I attended that Puerto Rico’s people were American citizens, were you? What, was I daydreaming that day?

In fact geography is pretty much a condemned subject in public schools. When I was growing up, Puerto Rico was never mentioned. It was never mentioned to my son either---on the other hand, he drew more pictures and made more maps of Africa then any country on the planet.

He was told Africa is very poor. He was never told the trillions of U.S. dollars that have been given to Africa over the years. In fact, as much money as we send there, we should own it.

No, the teachers said Puerto Rico was basically just another poor country somewhere in the ocean, that’s all you need to know, and we the teachers know what you need to know, which is about as much as we know, which is just about…not much.

Today, Geraldo, the poster boy for the Spanish Invasion, was down in Puerto Rico interviewing two politicians for FOX after their democratic primaries.

What was striking is how very well dressed all these men were, you could almost smell the Drakkar dripping off the set. Obviously the warm, balmy, ocean breeze was filling them with Latin desire; one man was so drunk with the mood of the island he had obviously taken some kind of Hillary aphrodisiac.

Hillary’s slipping them into the Mai-Tai’s.

Hillary won overwhelmingly in the primaries in Puerto Rico, therefore according to this guy, she could win the Latino vote more easily than Obama, because as Geraldo the magician pointed out, the blacks and Latinos don’t get along…which is true. The Democrats, who love to divide and conquer, are now fighting over all the groups they’ve divided and conquered.

That’s kind of fun to watch, but still---what kind of country owns another county, makes it people full citizens, but doesn’t let them vote for it’s President? The people from Puerto Rico can fight in our wars, but they don’t get to vote for our President?

I love it.

Where they saving it for a rainy day? Or a place for pharmaceutical companies to get cheap labor and avoid taxes?

Okay, Puerto Rico is not a state, we stopped that state nonsense long ago…it’s much better to own “unincorporated territory” because states are demanding things. When you’re “unincorporated” you’ve got a good loophole for most anything.

And right now, at this moment in time, “unincorporated” Puerto Rico has more clout and power than the voters of Michigan or Florida. They don’t need to vote in the election.

And even though they closed all 1,536 public schools down in 2006…if Hillary wins because of Puerto Rico’s votes, I’m sure she will grant Puerto Rico full statehood, new schools, universal heatlh care, and a place on the backside of her new gold Amero.

What's another coin?