Saturday, December 18, 2010

Nobody Flashes Email: Slick Willy Wonker

Nobody Gets Email on Saturday Night!

Since Obama handed over the Presidential Podium last week to Bill Clinton, everyone has just been swooning over the missed President ..and how much he is missed.

Proving either that over 94% of the population has ADD, or that's how bad Obama REALLY is.

Anyway, this email was titled: I Miss Bill.


It doesn't matter what party you belong to-this is hilarious.

From a show on Canadian TV, there was a black comedian who said he misses Bill Clinton.

"Yep, that's right-I miss Bill Clinton! He was the closest thing we ever got to having a real black man as President.

Number 1 - He played the sax.

Number 2 - He smoked weed.

Number 3 - He had his way with ugly white women.

Even now? Look at him...his wife works, and he doesn't! And, he gets a check from the government every month. Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America 's shelves this week with " Clinton Soup," in honor of one of the nations' distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.

Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada .

When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, "I don't know, I never had one."

The Clinton revised judicial oath: "I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know."

Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do Hanky Panky between the Bushes."

(Thanks to Pat)


Friday, December 17, 2010

Nobody Flashes Christmas Fun

Nobody Flashes some Christmas fun:

Okay, I think we should all take a break from trashing Congress.. BECAUSE...I have to pay my property taxes...

It makes me almost wish I had gone to Harvard....



Thursday, December 16, 2010

Tony Blair's African Bonanza

Nobody Reports: Tony Blair's piece in the Huffington Post today, "Making Government Work Can Transform Africa," was a perfect example of how leaders of the western world are ten times more concerned with the rest of the world then the countries they represent. While their own countries are falling apart, they are out to save some distant country in Africa, no matter what happens to their own.

Most of the citizens of the world are starting to notice the scam of this globalization.

Ronald Reagan was the last President to put America first. Now we have globalists Presidents and Prime Ministers whose main intent is to protect multinational conglomerates, which, I'm sorry to say, is NOT always best for the bottom line of the "citizens" of the world.

When they talk about any other country in the world, it's from a "Superior...We ARE their leaders and we EXPECT them to do such and such."

As an American, I would resent someone from China saying to us, "We expect you to accept communism, and never manufacture anything again."

Actually, they don't have to say it. As Donald Trump has pointed out, they control our politicians at all the secret meetings. It's starting to feel like we are merging with China. Even our local mayors go to China...for God's sake.

But, back to Tony. I use to love to watch Tony Blair on the Parliament floor---articulate, smart, quick to formulate clever rebuttals in a nanosecond---great showmanship.

Most of the British politicians make our politician look like dogs licking their private parts on a lazy summer day, when it comes to expressing themselves intellectually. Obama can read, but that's about it.

NEVERTHELESS, Tony is part of the New World Order...that elite group of G8 rulers of the world. (Now..G20) And the job of the G8 is to build a better that the big multinationals companies can go in and make money, which of course takes LOTS of money.

It's always for "democracy." But somehow, the billions spent NEVER get down to the starving and sick...Africans, who are now, Blair's main concern. They do it mostly by giving out trillions of taxpayer's money in bribes, to corrupt dictators.

It happens every single time.

Here in America, we just found out that most of the TARP money went to...other countries, who could do with it what they pleased.

Not one man went to jail for that big scam.

If you think of how much money both the United States and Britain have given to other nations, it makes you wonder...why? Why not spend it to solve their own problems first?

That no longer is possible...they've "merged' the world and they have big plans.

America no longer has any wealth. It's gone. If you don't believe me, check out the largest Malls in other countries here. Ours are all melting away faster than a cube of ice in a Nancy Pelosi glass of Louis XIV.

Here's a few quotes:

Tony Says: -- As British Prime Minister I trebled (His spelling NOT mind--surprise!) aid to Africa. At the 2005 G8 summit we took far-reaching steps in debt cancellation worth more than $100 billion to the poorest African nations. I am immensely proud of what we achieved at Gleneagles: Every day since, the aid given to developing countries has been saving thousands of lives. But I came to recognize that aid alone is not the answer.

Nobody Says: 'That aid alone is not the answer?"

Gee, how many trillions of dollars did you have to spent before you, Tony, genius well- educated man that you are...figured that important fact out? Just like our politicians, you transfer all the taxpayers hard earned money to "poor" countries, and basically put millions in dictators Swiss bank accounts, while the starving poor wait for Bill Gates?

What's up with that?

And HOW many years have you been doing this with no result? How is that Oxford education holding up there Tony?

Tony Says: We need leadership that is democratic, accountable and transparent. (Don't come here.) But in addition, we need leadership that is effective, that can shape plans and deliver policies that will make a difference on the ground.

Nobody Says: Uh...who are "we"? Is it YOUR job Tony Blair to take care of Africa first, before your own citizens? Do you own Africa, Tony, and you're just not telling us?

Tony Says: Because the only long-term route out of poverty is economic growth, we make a big thing of helping. The development community already invests a great deal in keeping Africa's leaders honest.

Nobody Says: "The only long-term route out of poverty is economic growth." you know this and insist on not using this knowledge to help out your own country?

Tony Says: Governments we work with to attract quality private-sector investment to create jobs and livelihoods.

Nobody Says: Attract "private sector investment " Mmmm.

Here's the problem: Tony is not alone. While they hold their own countries hostage with socialistic programs, killing the jobs of their own people, they want to use good old capitalism to build up the nations of Africa, because they know it works. And with OUR money. They have to steal it from us to make this work.

Clever work, if you can get it.

I can see why Tony posted this on Obama's favorite socialist site--George Soros is pleased.

Too bad the title wasn't, "Making Government work can transform England."
Yeah..too bad.

So here's the question many nobodies in the land of "plenty" want to know today:

Tony Blair...Do you know where your country is tonight?


Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The 111th Congress: It's Offical: Boneless Pork Rectums

Nobody Wins

It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world.
Thomas Jefferson

It's official.

This Congress JUST got the lowest score in the "you really suck" department history of the United States. According to the polls, only 13 percent of the people think they are doing a good job. Among those are all Barney Franks old boyfriends, Wall Street, GM, GE, and Harry Reid's personal butler.

The other 83% are standing in front of the Capital and yelling, "GO HOME!"

Why do we not like them?

They are actually lower than boneless pork rectums. Any Congress that introduces a humongous omnibus bill (see pictures) the DAY before it's voted on; knowing full well it would take a month to even review it, filled with trillions of dollars for all their friends, makes the guy stealing UPS packages on people's doorstep look like a five-year-old stealing a piece of bubble gum.

They are robbing us, the world, and my little dog too...blind.

While most of us are screaming bloody hell, they have beaten to a pulp, once again, the Boneless Pork Rectum Republican Rhino's, by Obama putting them into- "Okay, I'll say we won't raise taxes...but I'll spend a trillion about that?"

And they all said: Oh...okay.

Seeing how easy THAT was...he decided to keep going.

And in ONE day we also want: an omnibus spending with 6,000 earmarks bill that you CAN'T read: A Start Treaty with Russia which you also can't read because half of it's in Russian: a gay army bill to build the best gay army money can buy, because not so gay men will quit: more estate taxes: and amnesty to all illegal aliens, as long as they promise to go to Afghanistan for awhile, where they can get three great meals a day, and then a free education, and a citizenship ticket to our country, along with all their family. have one day to read all that stuff.

Rush Limbaugh says they should NOT vote on any of this.

I have an even better idea.

They should shut down that boneless pork rectum hole they call the 111th Congress and

GO HOME !!!!!!

When they threaten to shut down the government we should get down on our knees and BEG them to do it. It's our money they are spending, and they are all...shameless, and boneless...and big porking rectums.

Yes, it's official.


Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Nobody Flashes An Empty Box

Nobody Flashes a Classic.

Everything you wanted to know about the difference between the sexes....You may have seen this, but it's still a favorite.



Monday, December 13, 2010

Nobody's Perfect: Windfrey VS Goehner...Pass the Tissues!

Nobody's Perfect:
Oooo....boy. We have two good ones here: Oprah Windfrey and John Boehner were just two peas in weeping pods last week.
What's going on with all this weeping? Millions of Americans have lots to weep about: some lost jobs, some can't pay for medical procedures, some lost children in Iraq, some lost their homes...those are very good reasons to have a good cry: So, what are these two very FORTUNATE people crying about?
The American Dream VS Lesbianism.
First we had Oprah, "Bring me a tissue here!" Windfrey burst into emotional anger while talking to Barbara Walters.
Barbara Walters, probably said, "If you DON'T cry on my show, people will think I'm losing my touch."
Yes, Oprah got really upset when talking about her very best friend--- mother, guru, hair dresser, food carrier, dog walker, and who knows what else she does: Gayle King. When she started crying about her deep, deep love for this woman, Barbara said, "Why are you crying?"
You would have thought the woman had just died.
Her now-famous quote:
"I have said we are not gay enough times. I am not gay. I am not lesbian. I'm not even kind of a lesbian. And the reason why it irritates me is because somebody must think I'm lying. That's No. 1. No. 2, why would you want to hide it?"
(WHO thinks you're lying Oprah: Stedman?)
Okay...Question No. 3 comes from the Nobody audience who wants to say: Oprah dear: By being so upset that someone calls you a lesbian it can only mean that you can think of no other more horrible thing that you could be called in the world.
How do you think that makes all the gay people feel? You might as well call them dogs. being gay THAT bad? Even Rosie O'Donnell, had to come out and stand by Oprah side.
Yes, we have it from a REAL gay: She doesn't think Oprah is lying.
Mmmmm...pretty silly.
A real woman who was sure of her identify would have smiled and said, "Hey, my man knows I'm not gay...go ask him." But not Oprah.
Somehow the... "it's normal to be gay" just got a setback, but don't tell Oprah.
And then there's John-John Boehner, who cries so hard at the mere mention of the worlds "American Dream" that all Nancy Pelosi has to do on the floor of the House is say, "American Dream" in her speech about ten times, and the man would fall to the floor in utter despair and be carried to the nearest mental hospital.
Obvious, he is telling us the American Dream is gone.
Thanks, for uplifting us there John.
Just what we need. A House Speaker who feels so hopeless about the American dream, he cries at the sound of the phrase.
So, which one is worse? Oprah is doing a Diva moment.
John on the other suffering...he needs help.
But hey, they're not perfect: Let's just hope Oprah convinces her "somebody" that she is not gay, and John finds his comfort zone, outside the camera's of the world.
Having said that: I cry every time Dumbo's mother gets locked up in jail, and swings her little Dumbo in her trunk while she is behind bars, and that "sweet little baby of mine" song comes on..and...oh god...oh it comes...
Where's my tissue!


Sunday, December 12, 2010

Dave Berry, "Gets It."

Nobody's Opinion: I don't get it.

I just don't get it.

I do not believe that a government should "give" you a free education. I do not believe a "government" should give you a free "health" care benefits. Or "free" housing, or "free" jobs, or "free" food. But that is just what has been going on for YEARS in most of Europe and don't kid yourself Mr. and Mrs. American...right here. Food stamps are now given to some 43 million people. There are so many people on food stamps that they had to make special computers to tally up the "food stamp" price AND the "normal" price.

Every week I look at that when I'm buying groceries and think" Gee, if I was on food stamps I would have saved $150 dollars!" I'd love to pay only $20 dollars a week for food.

Just because those people talking to you on TV are 'cheery' with pretty blues and greens floating over the new HD screen TV's...with expensive good-looking faces telling you that your leaders are really in control, as are they..doesn't mean that what you are comforted by on your TV is good for YOU.

The government now employs half the population. The kids that CANT afford college have less a chance of a middle class life then ever before.

The world is NOT the same. It's twenty times harder now to start a business, or save money for school. Why do you think Obama keeps selling votes on the "free education" crap?

The jobs are disappearing. THEY know this. So they invented the "GREEN" jobs to try to prop us all up while they continue their "globalization" BS.

I don't get it. It's right there in front of our faces. Come on: Saran Palin, is going to China, Haiti, Europe, Israel...she is being groomed, and we are being groomed to accept her as our new President right before our eyes.

What? You think Sarah is just being a good Samaritan?

Have another cookie.

Sorry...I hope in my hearts that she is "playing" the big boys to get herself elected, but I think the big boys wouldn't let her play unless they knew she would get in on their plans.

So, when a "government' does this, takes money and "redistributes" it everywhere.: the free market no longer exist, and the prices of EVERYTHING is so high, that only the rich can afford it. And if the people rebel? They cry out!

Those anarchist! Those communists!

The world is gone FUBAR.

America HAS been a socialist country for decades now. And I ask myself as I read the daily conservative they REALLY think we are still a republic? REALLY?

What planet are they on?

Conservative reading this remember:Even Glenn Beck says America is gone. He is looking for a new George Washington in a five-year-old somewhere.

Yeah, and so is the Dali Lama.

College books, are $200. Taxes...we work till MAY. We have paid into our "retirement" only to have it stolen and "redistributed" to as Jeb Bush reminds us: those poor immigrants that just want a life will takes yours over...let them in, the country needs them.

And I'm not suppose to be angry at the Bushes because they're "nice guys?"

When young kids rebel at prices going up: they are of course, enraged. I have a girlfriend who is upset about the price of soup at Wal-Mart, for god's sake.

They have no clue to what they are being used for. They're just kids. They've been brainwashed, as have most of us.

"Well those selfish little bastards."

A real leader would say, "You're right, education should be affordable to everyone in a free open market system. We took over the schools, and now they are really messed up.We need to cut our spending". But NO...

Rebel against the establish global plans, and YOU too will that's why I found this video interesting. This college kid did something...he just expressed his free speech.

That's all he did.

And got whammed. He put a Dave Barry (that's right, America's favorite humor writer) on the door and got...well, listen to the video and find out.

So, today, I felt relived to here that someone else "gets" it. I just wish more of those out there who do, would speak up.