Saturday, March 17, 2007

Just Call Me Barry!

Nobody’s Fast Blast:

Its official…the New York Times has endorsed Obama for President, and Bill Clinton is really mad about it…but too bad. The spin is on.

In fact, the NY Times has taken upon itself to try to clear up some really important facts; especially one that they know is just bugging the heck out of middle America…his name.

The polls have shown that with a name like that, a lot of people will not be pressing that button for him…so, they just wanted you to know that, hey…his name is really BARRY!

His sister wanted us all to also know that “there was always a joke between my mom and Barack that he would be the first black president.”

NO wonder Clinton was pissed.

The spin doesn’t get any better than that.

His mother was white. (I love this stuff.) She was also blind. (just kidding)

You see, everyone knew him when he was growing up in Hawaii---a poor, lost black boy going to a very expensive school which it was noted at least sixty times in the NY Times, centered on multiculturalism, as….get ready…Barry.

It also produced Steve Case, the former chairman of AOL Time Warner.

In Hawaii, everyone knows him as simply... Barry. And of course everyone loved BARRY…coaches, teachers, he was their BARRY.

But Barry had, like all blacks, going to a rich school, had a hard time feeling like he fit. So he changed his name and became a Muslim like his dad, but wait…the New York Times forgot to mention that fact.

They also forgot to mention just how aleinated he felt at Harvard.

Oh yes, and they also forgot to mention if his name was Barry, why he did he change it to Obama?

Was it so he could fit in with the kids better?

They did mention he felt so lost he hung out with old black men.

The sister said that Hawaii is such a multicultural place, and Barry, it was reported by Bernice Bowers, a classmate, "seems to have the skills that a lot of people in our class had, which is to pull diverse people together.”

So, have faith all you Muslim bus drivers, you Jewish rich people, you red-neck garbage drivers, you left-over soccer moms, you Chinese restaurant owners, you overworked and overweight baby boomers….

Barack wants you to know that he really is just like you.

Messed up from birth--- but he wants you to know his real name is Barry.

And with Hollywood and the NY Times endorsing him, you can call him anything you like, because he’s got the money in his pocket.

Maybe he’ll ask Bill Clinton to be his Vice and Bill will change his name to Mohammed.

Yes, since Barry changed his name to Barack, he doesn’t feel alienated anymore.

He truly is a multicultural homeboy. Let's all be happy for him.


Friday, March 16, 2007

Joints, Booze, and Pimples

Nobody’s Opinion: Some days, like today, the news is just so repetitious it reminded me of that old saying that my brother used to say: “Don’t pick it, let it heal!”

Trouble is, unlike my brother, who was a picture of perfection from birth, things never seemed to heal on me, so why not pick it?

Whenever he said this onstage, (He was a trumpet player.) it always got a laugh. He would pretend he was going to pop some huge pus-filled carbuncle on his face, and the front row (usually filled with girls because my brother looked like Elvis) would scream.

My brother never had a pimple in his life, as for me…I was covered with them.

That’s why I learned the “art” of makeup.

Everyone knows, a pimple when you’re a teenager is like having leprosy and you think everyone is looking at it on your face when in actuality, most likely--- they are.

Why talk about pimples? There’s a point here somewhere…no two people are alike.

And no two people react the same why to certain drugs, for obvious reasons.

You’ve also heard that other expression: “One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor.”

I was thinking this exact thought after reading all the comments on Denise Noe’s report on the Supreme Court taking away the right for that poor woman to get stoned out of her mind while she was in tremendous pain, and before I start, I agree with Denise. If someone who is really that sick can only get relief from smoking grass, then there should be exceptions for these poor souls.

Having said that, I was surprised by some of them (the commentators) even with medical backgrounds, swearing about the harmlessness of smoking grass.

Because in my lifetime, being in the entertainment business where drugs of every kind were taken continuously, and then watching night after night the drunks in the crowd, I feel, even though I have no medical background at all…being probably the only straight person in any room at any moment in time, I can tell you real scary stories from the laboratory of experience.

And if I had to pick the lesser of the two evils….alcohol would be my poison.

Sure, alcohol can devastate your life…take your liver, your kidney, your wife, your kids, your job…but there is always a chance that you can save yourself.

Just ask Glenn Beck.

But I’ve seen what daily smoking can do to a mind. I’ve seen some really fine minds become, basically, oatmeal.

You can’t save mush.

There were a few exceptions of course, but I can only think of ONE. Just one.

Some people can handle it, some people go completely stupid. The trouble is, the people that are going completely dumb and dumber, smoking grass, don’t know it. People that get stoned think they are actually thinking great thoughts of the universe.

Unlike alcohol abuse, which many a literary intellectual genius has known, I have personally witness in my lifetime that with SOME people… smoking grass every day will lower your ability to complete whole sentences, and lower your IQ to the point of no return, the damage is done.

I’ll give two examples.

When I was sixteen, I was engaged to a fine young man named Mike. It was Mike who really got me into reading; he started me out on “Lord of the Rings.” Every time we got together it was to discuss some novel he has just read. Mike, like me, was from the working class, but even though he was from the public educational system, he had a sharp mind, and a great love of knowledge.

Then, he joined the army, and went to Vietnam.

After a year, when he came back, he was such a basket case from smoking grass every day, he was totally brain damaged. I was totally NOT prepared for what I saw. I actually cried when I saw him, and it was not from joy.

It would have been better if he had lost a leg, instead of his ability to think.

Just speaking was hard for him. REALLY hard.

To be fair, I’m sure that he was doing other drugs too; a lot of the boys were doing drugs just to cope. But his speech was slowed down to almost warp speed, and I’m positive it was from smoking grass. He had trouble even forming sentences. The whole day was devoting to getting stoned and lying around.

Needless to say, we broke up. Mike’s mind was gone.

Then I became a drummer, and musicians back in the seventies were known for getting stoned. I hated to smoke anything, let alone grass. That’s just me. Good thing I was a girl, the guys usually did not make a big thing about me being straight.

But I did notice one strange phenomenon…the other musicians would get real high, and then play, and then they thought that they were better than Eric Clapton.

Boy, did I have some heated arguments with stoned musicians. Because, they would not only go off rhythm, speed up and slow down, they would get lost in their playing and the rest of the band would be going “What IS he doing?”

In their minds they were playing the greatest guitars solo’s since Eddie Van Halen, but in my mind, they were out of key, not making coherent notes, completely lost in some kind of stoned parallel star-trip. Basically they were lost---but boy, don’t tell them that.

I’ve also had the misfortune to be with people high on grass, and in a car.

One time, I remember this guy driving me home one night, and he stopped about fifteen cars back from a stop light.
“What are you doing? The lights WAY up there?”

“Oh…I thought it was in front of me. Are you sure?”

“Okay, go up farther. No…a little more…keep going…go on…keep going…keep going…keep going…okay, stop.”

What’s the medical term for this misjudgment when a human brain slows down to the speed of a turtle on Quaaludes? A brain that doesn’t even KNOW it’s damaged in any way?


Flash forward to 2003. My neighbor’s son really likes to get stoned. In fact, the whole nationhood laughs at him, because the poor boys speech has gotten so bad, he can’t even say a simple sentence. His favorite band is “The Doors.’

It’s not funny, it’s sad. I have seen not only many minds from my generations of boomers be sent into the land of la-la…but the current generation who think grass is completely harmless, smoking daily and not even noticing that they are losing freedoms, because that’s what many of the experts say. Grass is less harmful than alcohol.

It’s like Global warming…disinformation nonsense spilled out to control the masses.

Drugs, and especially grass, has been the drug of choice to dumb down an entire nation, to make it easy for the liberal takeover, which is what happened. In China, the British used Opium, it’s been done before, this destroying of minds.

This is the reason why no politician will ever do a thing about it, or the drugs coming daily across our border. They just turn their heads.

Don’t worry; George Soros is fighting for its legalization, which if you are stoned will make you think…”See, there is nothing wrong with freedom to smoke such a harmless drug…it’s about time!”

But if you are not burnt out, and still have a mind, then you think, “Right, George Soros, the communist socialist, wants all you Americans to get even more stoned so that you will all follow the leaders like the stoned sheep you will always be.”

I realized that many of the readers reading this will think…well, grass never made a bit of difference to my thinking.

My advice is…ask someone you know and trust who doesn’t smoke what they think about how YOU think when stoned.

And if you love your kids, then stop, because a mind is a terrible thing to pick.

Let yours heal.

Nobody’s Perfect: Okay, I did smoke a joint once, in high school. I inhaled two times, and I started hallucinating. I looked in the mirror and saw Medusa; my hair was a web of snakes.

That was enough for me. All my other friends at the party thought I was nuts, and I was lying. Proving my point. They were on the ceiling, I was on the floor, freaking out.

They continued to smoke grass for years. As far as I know, they still do. One even works for the police department.

Nobody Knows: It has been said for years that the Vietnam War was all about the money that the CIA was making off of the drugs. Many books have been written on this subject.

“Air America” was for real. In fact…according to some, Bill Clinton got into the Arkansas drug Mafia and that was his start to fame. Cocaine was his game.

And his brother even told stories about the both of them doing drugs. It’s nice when your brother is President and can pardon your prison sentence (for drug dealing)

Nobody Wins; Despite the feelings I have about the drug, you should be able to do whatever you want in your own home. It should be your choice.

And yes we know that alcohol causes millions of deaths. We do not know how many deaths were caused by someone driving while stoned.

Having said that…I still wouldn’t want it legalized and be watching some guy smoking a joint, while talking on his cell phone, and not paying attention to the lights. We have enough trouble as it is.

Nobody Wonders: Oh, I still get pimples, but recently my brother started going a little bald. It was worth the wait.


Thursday, March 15, 2007

Confessions of a Camel

Nobody’s Opinion: The good news today is: torture works.

It works on me when my husband makes me stand for over five minutes waiting for him to say what he wants for dinner.

And it worked down at Guantanamo Bay…they won’t say just what frame of Jack Bauer on 24 that our military copied---the only tease they gave us is that they used water.

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, a man who had a habit of leaving his camel (Buddy) in the parking lots of airports, confessed today to masterminding every crime ever committed or thought about since Abraham decided he wanted to set an example for the future Thomas Jefferson and lay down with one of his slaves.

Mohammed’s mother was so impressed by the son of this slave woman, that she named her boy after him, and even called him a sheik.

And today, Mohammed has made his mother very proud, because now the whole world thinks that he was the only genius that planned 9/11.

He also admitted, when coming up for air---that in his spare time he:
1. Beheaded Daniel Pearl the reporter
2. Planned the first World Trade Center attack in 1993.
3. Planned on bombing the Sears Tower
4. Planned on bombing the Empire State Building
5. Planned on destroying the Panama Canal
6. Was in on the bombing of the disco in Bali
7. Planned on bombing the New York Stock Exchange
8. Planned on assassinating Bill Clinton
9. Wanted to assassinate Jimmy Carter
10. Planned on killing the Pope.
11. Planned on blowing up Big Ben
12. Wanted to attack Heathrow Airport
13. And last but not least, he planned to get a sex change operation and charge it to the United States Army.

Now, I don’t know about you, but this nobody finds it JUST a bit too strange that this one man could actually have done so much thinking and planning when, if you have seen his picture, he looks as if he would have trouble getting the IUD up his camel.

In his midnight confession he said he felt a little bad about killing kids in the 9/11 attack. This has made a huge impression in San Francisco, where the ACLU brightest lawyers have been working 24/7 to get him released on the grounds that anyone who leaves camels at airports has an IQ of a watermelon, and therefore should not be held responsible for his actions.

Instead, they suggest that, if he would just admit to a few more succulent jihad crimes, they would be sure that he gets a one way ticket to Mecca, on Jesse Jackson’s private plane. They will even put a representative from the United Nations on board to make sure he is well treated after his horrible stay at Gitmo.

Angelina Jolie says she might consider the job in the name of peace.

The Democrats just have to be rejoicing at this good news tonight, and for good reason, and not just because Jimmy and Billy are still here.

The liberals have been trying to get Guantanamo Bay closed down for so long, they have almost given up. Now, with Mohammed’s confession of every single crime ever imagined committed in the name of Allah, all the other men can now be declared guiltless and go home.

A great progressive lawyer, Mark Denbeaux, a Seton Hall University law professor said, (and I reluctantly quote), “The government has finally brought someone into Gitmo who apparently admits to being someone who could be called an enemy combatant. None of the others rise to this level.”

This means, the other guys just cut off the heads of nobodies and planned to blow up simple American shopping malls, and kindergarten schools.

They just did not have Mohammed’s true genius at saying the most opportunistic thing at just the right time.

It has been reported, by Mohammed himself, that it was NOT the torture that made him confess, but the thought of never seeing his camel again.

He gave up all information, without even a last cigarette.

I’m sure we all now feel safer knowing that the one and only madman to mastermind all these terrible future attacks has now confessed and will be locked up forever.

And I can go back to torturing my husband.

Nobody’s Perfect: Many lawyers are claiming if these confessions were gotten with torture, then they basically mean nothing.

Most of these lawyers are still watching reruns of Seinfeld.

Nobody Knows: Is it just me….or does anyone else find it just a little too strange that we have a base on CUBA, not far away from one of the biggest evil guys on the planet, and yet, we do nothing but hold prisoners there.

Why we did not try to take that island long ago when we had the chance, is a real mystery to me. I guess we just didn’t have any real masterminds like Mo.

Nobody Cares; Someday, Mohammed will be sitting in a palace on one of those rich islands off Dubai, and getting paid to write episodes of 24, with Kiefer Sutherland via the internet.

His camel will be patiently waiting for his master out on the parking lot.


Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Hillary's Women

Nobody's Opinion: Due to the importance of the upcoming elections in 2008, the women of the ACLU and some of Hillary Clinton's old girlfriends all got together with the best Hollywood plastic surgery doctors and decided to bring out the big guns, and change their looks, going against everything they have ever believed in. They felt it was time to serve their country.

The democrats will do ANYTHING to win in 2008, including undergoing the knife.

This will be Hillary's new cabinet.

Hillary is running out of options to beat Obama, so these brave women are at this moment being held in the Bahama's, where Bill Clinton is keeping a good eye on them until the moment in the campaign when they will bring them out.

If they lose, they can always use them for "scandals," showing just how far a real progressive woman will go to help their country.

Nobody's Perfect: Even though Hillary has already had plastic surgery, unfortunately, it didn't take.

Nobody Knows; It was rumored that donations were made for the operations by a very rich Saudi Prince, but so far, it seems to have come out of the Clinton's library.

Nobody Cares; Two of these woman are rumored to have had Bill's child, being held in the bahamas along with the mothers. DNA is being sought by the attorney general.


The Devil Doesn't Do Details

Nobody’s Opinion: Every one has heard that old saying, “The devil is in the details.” That’s the first thought I had in my mind this morning when I woke up. Flashes of just what WERE the details of anything that was happening anywhere were too much for my little nobody mind, still…the general overall feeling I had was not good.

Usually, the best advice is, go back to sleep and try again.

Most of the details of the world are hidden. Like fireflies they are elusive. You can’t catch them. Anything could be suspected. You might as well guess.

Why have there been so many fires in the last ten years? Why are there so many tornadoes? The earth’s weather hasn’t changed that much. Who’s behind this “environmental scare?”

You know how it is when you just wake up sometimes. You’re not ready to get up. You’re legs and arms feel like they are filled with clay…especially if the day ahead is filled with boring cleaning tasks.

Something about picking up a few million gumballs in my backyard did not excite me.

Just where was that wonderful dream I was having last night? The one where I had won the lottery and designed a whole house with the most wonderful mirrors and giant beds, and hundreds of rooms filled with treasures from all over the world with an indoor tropical heated pool, that lead through every room of the house…

(I’m a regular Frank Lloyd Wright in my dreams.)

Details…details…South America is being taken over by communists, and NAFTA, and CAFTA basically sold out all our jobs…still the cities have been dying for over forty years, it was just the last plug in the plan.

Jimmy Carter helped to elect Chavez---Chavez loving Castro. Are they going to stuff him and prop him up in a bed?

Jimmy Carter also is trying to destroy Israel.

And what’s with Africa? Why can’t they just come at least into the 18th century?

And why do Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton side with communists? Why do they put down the country they “served” at every opportunity? Why do we put up with them? Details….

And how come we never hear the word…communists. President Reagan said it all the time. He knew it. He talked about it. He hated it. He destroyed it.

Can you see our current President George Bush calling anyone a communist?

No. Not a good detail to think about.

I closed my eyes and had a vision of President Bush, holding a head of lettuce---smiling and posing with South American Socialists, acting just like a salesman promoting American products---no longer a commander in chief, no longer a President of a sovereign country, but a man working for…who?

Who the devil IS he working for?

Details…details…America is surrounded by trouble. Forget Iraq. That’s just one of the many. Instead of the real details about Iraq, we get “scandals.”

Scandals are our daily bread. We eat all our meals devouring the latest insidious scandal along with our Cheerio’s.

The brave American soldiers fighting daily, doing great things for people who hate them….the details…ignored.

On the other side of the ocean we have China, who bought Bill Clinton’s soul for the price of a country.

The details will never be known.

But, the price is us. China is putting all the money they earn off us into the biggest and most powerful military the world will ever witness…they will be the most powerful nation on the earth thanks to our politicians. They can wait, they think long-term.

We may not want to admit it, but the damage has already been done. All China has to do is sit back, and help Iran do the dirty work.

Do I have enough water stored?

Details…England will be taking over by the Muslims. The population of the West is dying off…the baby boomers, the Europeans, the Japanese. It is the rise of the Asian overlords. But, how did this happen? Was it just the greed of a few hundred?

What are the details?

Western religions are being demolished to make way for communism. Easy to do with Brittany Spears taking up so much time, and kids watching MTV.

The details of a woman without underwear, a baby stolen here, boys molested there…the details at six.

Details, there are no real details, as in the case of Sandy Berger.

Sandy Berger reminds me of the guy who ate hamburgers in Popeye comics…I can’t think of his name. (Was it Wimpy?) Berger of course doesn’t remember the details, only the construction yard.

Jesus…I turn over. I fluff my pillow. My mind as usual, is not listening to me.

The sixties…details: communism introduced into the universities, into the sex revolution, into the feminist revolution, into our schools. Slowly, the communist/socialist were building their foundations, handpicking their future social engineers, the Clintons, the Bushes, Albright, Kissenger, Arnold, Soros, the New York Times.

The pact with the devil will take your soul. That’s another famous saying.

Now we are seeing a woman who has no business whatsoever becoming President, almost demanding the job.

Details….President Bush has already signed us into a North American Continent Merger. All the actions of our politicians, who by the way, are all millionaires representing the rich and their own portfolios…do not care. President Bush wants this merger big time.

We are now a bi-lingual nation. Press one for English, two for Spanish. If you speak German, you're out of luck.

Whole cities are being taken over by Mexicans. We are now gringos.

Ahhhh, I have to quit taking that melatonin.

Being groggy, the second thought came, “The Devil Wears Prada.” This brought visions of Meryl Streep…not a great image to wake up to.

Life can be cruel.

Since I’ve never owned anything by anyone called Prada, there was a groan, turn over again.

Then I thought of Karellen.

Some of you are thinking…who? Karellen was the alien Overlord in Arthur C. Clarke’s 1953 classic, “Childhood’s End.”

If you have never read this little novel, you should.

In this novel the aliens (called, most appropriately, the Overlords) came down and basically take over the earth and transform the earthlings into a one world socialistic utopia.

Here’s a quote, from page 17…

There had been no warning when the great ships came pouring out of the unknown depths of space. For six days they had floated motionless above the cities…those mighty ships have come to rest so precisely over New York, London, Paris, Moscow, Rome, Cape Town, Tokyo, Canberra…(and YOU thought "Independence Day" was without a predecessor!)

Karellen was the alien point man for earth. He had horns, a long tail, was big and red, in other words…he looked just like the devil. The Overlords did not want the earthlings to see them for good reason. They knew that they would be considered…well, evil.

Karellen had fifty years to bring humanity to one boring utopia, which he did. This utopia, according to the book, was one where everyone played at sports all days and spent the rest of their time being entertained. Of course there were no more wars, but there were also no more inventions, and all creativity had stopped.

“Fifty years is ample time in which to change a world and its people almost beyond recognition. All that is required for the task are a sound knowledge of social engineering, a clear sight of the intended goal, and power.”

Well, it has been a little over fifty years, and this statement could have come out of the mouth of any one of our current politicians, even Newt.

And the devil of it is, the details of just how our “overlords” have manage to take a thriving America and basically sold it out for this utopia socialistic society, by casting it into the fire in the name of globalization…which is only good for the few as we are now seeing, will never be known. It was all done so slowly…fifty years.

Wal-Mart is supposed to be our utopia. That’s what the gracious Overlords have given us---oh and cell-phones, that they can turn on and listen to us with.

The real trouble is the details that the devils don’t want us to see. And it’s the secret details that are the real evil that even I don’t want to nightmare.

So, if the devil really is in the details, all of us are in for a big surprise when they come out.

What am I saying, of course the details will never come out.

Not on this planet.

Nobody’s Perfect: Yes! I got up! Wouldn’t you?

I couldn’t remember the entire book, it’s been some time since I read it, but here’s another quote:

Utopia was here at last; its novelty had not yet been assailed by the supreme enemy of all Utopias----boredom. Mankind had grown to trust them (the Overlords) No wonder that people are becoming passive sponges, absorbing but never creating. Did you know that the average viewing time per person (for TV) is now three hours a day?”

How many hours do YOU watch?

Kind of makes you wonder just who the devil Arthur C. Clarke was hanging around with, doesn’t it?

Nobody Knows; Personally, I think it’s pretty impressive that some guy back in 1953 could predict with such detail, the way the world would evolve.

Nobody Cares; I’m laying off the melatonin tonight.


Sunday, March 11, 2007

Nobody's Absurdities, No. 39...Raining Roaches

Nobody’s Opinion: For the first time in quite a while, I just had to turn off the TV last weekend.
Chavez was waving a squirrel, some baby had been stolen and found, somebody had driven a stolen car down into a ditch and started a fire in Anaheim, gas prices were going up again, Anna Nicole was STILL talking about her beating, raping, and horribly abusing mother while the subject of digging up both her and her son’s bodies were being discussed---Kissinger was endorsing McCain, hard-core porn was being played on some MTV cable program in the middle of a Sunday afternoon, and while walking around the block tonight, I noticed that the white truck with the snow plow in front, that had been parked in my Muslims neighbors driveway…was gone.

Like my annual spring-time basement event, the news was raining roaches.

Here are a few of the more noticeable “bugs.”


Hillary has decided that she should be elected because, well, she is a woman. Somehow, she manages to compare this reasoning to why JFK was elected, which was because he was a Catholic.

Don’t you just love the logic?

She decided to inform us all once again, that we are ready for a woman leader….her.

She fails to mention, that the “maggot” (I say this in honor of Ann Coulter) she married will be ruling by her side. And the proof of that is she will be bringing her pontificating maggot out everywhere, because she can’t win on her credentials alone.

One can only hope that the infestation of our two Presidential dynasties, the Clintons and Bushes, will in this upcoming 2008, but squashed forever.


And speaking of squashing maggots, there was just released by two professors in Pennsylvania ---the news that Bill Clinton is considered by most modern historians as the greatest modern President.

This tells you all you need to know about our modern historians.

Reagan was not even considered, even though last year the PEOPLE of the United States overwhelmingly voted Reagan as the best.

With Hillary running and both of them wanting back on Air Force One, getting two professors somewhere to make that claim is suppose to not only feed the ego of Bill Clinton, who is forever trying to rewrite history to proclaim himself as the most magnificent human to ever grace the planet, but get the voters to put him in office again by electing her.


But, that little “news bug” was not really bothering me. What really is quite the worry is being reported very quietly.

It seems American history is going to be erased. (again) The Library of Congress, we are told will basically disappear. Only 10 percent of the 132 million objects will be digitized. Who knows what will happen to the rest of it?

Something tells me it won't end up on e-bay.

In other words, censorship will be applied to the web. You will only see what they want you to see.

The National Archives, which holds some nine billions documents, also,will hardly be digitalized at all. Sandy Berger will not have to ruin anymore socks. Those nine billions documents will, like the lost library of Alexandria, be someday lost to the world. Only the likes of the very few will ever know about it.

What a better way for a government to cover all its tracks.

What a better way to erase and change history. Just say there is no money to save it.

Google will pick and choose what it wants us to see. And with Al Gore on its board, one can only imagine what our young people will be reading.

Probably, how Al Gore saved the Planet.


And speaking of extermination, scientists that are actually refuting Al Gore’s doomsday prediction are getting death threats.

According to the scientists that are being allowed to live, millions of Africans and South Americans in twenty years will have no water. But Red Bull and Tequila will still be served.

By 2080, about 600 million people will be starving probably due to trans-fat being outlawed.

Polar Bears will all die off…maybe.

But NOT if we just stop driving we are being told.

After all, the rich just HAVE to fly in their big jets to get out the message. Somebody has to make the sacrifice for the suffering, and according to them, it might as well be us nobodies.


On a more personal note, spring means the roaches come inside. Sometimes they literally fall off the basement ceiling onto my nobody head.

And since my nobody bed in IN the basement, it’s doesn’t make for a good’s night sleep. There you are, finally in a deep sleep, and you feel a HUGE roach falling down on your head or arm and scampering off down into the sheets.

Then you have to jump up, get OUT of bed, and of course, you see the sucker, and he is long gone under the bed before you can catch him.

It’s really creepy, just like the news coming out of Washington.

Washtington D.C., just like my house, needs a Roach exterminator as big as GOD.

And don’t you DARE suggest Arnold. He has become one of the biggest cockroaches around.

Somewhere there is a cockroach hell, and I’m planning on sending a few to visit there soon. I would hate to have to move upstairs and face the sunlight and actually become a cheery person.

Nobody’s Perfect: Okay, I’m not very cheery today, blame it on the weather.

Nobody’s Knows; Also, I’ve just about heard enough of how Newt had three wives and a affair, Rudy had three wives, one of whom wanted a Vagina monologue with the world.

Why is it that somehow, Bill and Hillary's scam of a marriage, is considered more respectable than the honest reporting of Newt and Rudy being married three times?

The real question is: were Bill and Hillary EVER a husband and wife?

Nobody Cares: Roaches can live three or four months without eating, but can only go one month without water. In the light of this fact, global warming could be a good thing. I'm feeling better already.