Nobody Got Email....

Hey...it's SATURDAY NIGHT AND we all need to PAR...TEA!

Remember this guy? If you DO...you're OLD! Anyway, I just found out he's still making some pretty cool stuff. I think he'd fit right in with Huckabee...don't you?

Rahm Talks To Dead Fish

Nobody Reports that it was a sad, sad day for the White House. Rahm Emanuel, the man who pretty much told Obama everything to do and say and eat...the man who put the Presidential telepromter to bed every night...left.

Remember, we have been told that the right hand man of President Bush, Karl Rove, told Bush what to do...so Rahm Emanuel...did the same.

It's their job. Then they go on to become Fox News or CNN Pundits and continue to tell the rest of us what to do.

It's their job.

If you witnessed the tearful scene, you would have witnessed one of the greatest love stories ever performed in history. We haven't seen this much love in the White House since Ronald and Nancy danced at the Queen's Ball.

I really don't know who looked sadder...Obama, Rahm...or the Fish.

Oh, didn't you hear? They gave him a fish wrapped up in newspaper as a token of their affection.

The fish, whose name was Harry, the one that was given to Rahm as a go away present, sent me this report:

Harry the FISH: Oh my god...I can't believe I had to be taken out for this! Look at that guy, he's standing next to the President with both hand on his hips as if HE thinks he's at a little league game...and he ran the whole country, and what an EGO! He has NO respect! You would have thought he just swam the whole Amazon in three minutes flat!

And who's he winking at? The President is almost on the floor with grief and he just keeps...

Hey...there he goes again. What..he think he's George Clooney? Wink again...go ahead sucker.

And the President...he looks so sad. I've never seen him look sadder.

Okay, what's up with these two guys? Ya know? I mean...look at him catching a "smell"...just look. I mean, so what if he has a family...he was one of them ballerina's...ya know? I mean, that just ain't natural. Not in my world.

Okay, Obama is talking about why Rahm lost his finger...when he was a kid? HAAAA! I love it.

Give it to em' boys...Okay, now he's gonna talk....

WHAT? Obama saved the world from disaster? Hey, I don't know if those two has looked out the window lately... or even at the gulf! What they did to my cousin Tony...they should pay!

Now Bally Boy is saying they did so much GOOD...and wait.. the tough guy's gonna cry.

Jeeeeezeeeee

What's with all these guys crying? For crying out loud...get a grip! Hey, kiss and get it over with will ya?

What did the President say? Rahm was the first person he saw in the morning and the last person he saw at night?

Oh boy. Put me back in the water. This guy doesn't deserve a fish.

What? He is gonna be Mayor of the BEST CITY in America? Their hometown Chicago?

Boy...those New Yorkers aren't gonna like that one bit. I mean, that was a REAL slap in the old hook, line, and sinker.

Yeah...go on...go back to Chicago, you...you.... Just stay off CNN...you and that fishy doctor brother of yours.

Yeah, you boys have been working on getting rid of the old people for way too long, and you got your way...sharks...all of ya.

Don't worry boys...the fish down at the docks got a big present for you both...they call it "votes," only, it might not be the ones you're expecting. These votes might just come at cha with smelly newspapers stuck on em. I'm talking to my cousin Vinny...he has connections in places you guys don't even know about.

Don't sound too good to me, but hey, what do I know? I'm having trouble with these teeth...

Hey, that ballerina guys really does have some pretty nice fingers!

Come here....come on...gimma a bite! Lean over here... I'm not dead yet!

(Nobody Makes This Stuff Up)

Warren and Bill Can Donate to ME!

"The fact is that income inequality is real; it's been rising for more than 25 years."

President George W. Bush
January 31,2007


Nobody Knows what's up with these two guys? They are on a mission to get every billionaire on the planet to give up half their fortunes to charities. So they went to China and threw a big give your money to charity dinner. After all, it's the least you can do, since we helped show all you Chinese guys how to get rich.

"Chinese people will come to their own conclusions about the role of philanthropy in their culture". ---Peter Buffet

(They will? Are you sure about that Peter?)

Yes- Mr. Warren Buffet (Peter's Dad) and his best friend, Bill Gates, went to China to talk to the 64 billionaires in China (The U.S. has 403) to get them on board the "give that money away" train. Not a lot of them showed up for the "Gates/Buffet donation dinner" and this guy Chen Guangbiao decided to skip it altogether.

Huh? Really? I thought communism was all about sharing?

A few days before, Warren visited Obama at the White House so we would be fools not to think that somehow the government wasn't involved.

And since we are hearing a lot about how Obama wants to tax the rich...I think we can make a few distinctions here: Rich to Obama is, anyone making over $250,000 a year. If that was just one person's salary...it would sound feasible(naught)-- but it also includes any COMPANY making over $250,000 a year, which of course is a wonderful thing for all the big multi-national monopolies that have already gone global. Smaller businesses are already choking to death on the new Obama taxes coming their way.. they will be dead in the rice patty fields within a few years.

It is a fact, despite what you might think about the capitalistic system, that a very few people at the very top of the top...the little sliver of the VERY top...1/100 percent (30,000 ).. they get off the most, in paying any taxes. Just ask Warren.

So one must wonder...why? That fact, sadly, makes communists out of too many people.

Right beneath them, where the millionaires start...and on down--they pay over 70% of the taxes, and that's who Obama is targeting...not Warren or Bill.

Who knows...maybe the deal is: "Go on making all that money, we have big plans to get the whole world on the internet, but if you give some of it away before you die...we'll leave you alone."

In 2005, the best off 300,000 Americans had almost as much income as the bottom 150 million. The top 1% , their share of the pie was four times larger than in 1980. Most of the growth is in that top 1%...but that's the people that ALWAYS get off.

Who knows why? They know all the right people.

Of the average income of those making $174 million, the top 400 taxpayers would have paid the government 17.5 percent in income. For people who make $100,00 to $200,000, the tax burden is higher at 20.2 percent. (2005)

Now...get this. The rich have been getting MUCH richer, and they made their biggest gain during the Clinton years. Clinton gave the richest of the superrich a much bigger tax cut than Bush. Under Bill, their effective tax rate fell by almost eight cents on the dollar: under Bush, it fill only five. And that was BEFORE the bailouts, and the CEO handouts...and the vast trillions of dollars that will be owned so that the vast big companies and globalization could survive. The middle class's money was trickling up to the top.

So when the Democrats say they are against the rich...bring up Bill Clinton.

It's not that capitalism is bad...it isn't. Or even big multinational companies...they're not. What's bad is when government's thugs get in bed with these big guys, and there are stock options, and trade deals, a private bank called the Federal Reserve...and soon..everyone is in on the crime. It's almost as if the Presidency is now the Godfather that you must kiss.

So, what's a poor billionaire to do?

According to the UN, the number of hungry people globally rose more than 20% in the past twenty years. Warren and Bill, who have never had to pay their share in taxes...are feeling pretty bad about that. .so it seems.

But instead of the world's billionaires deciding to hand out (or being forced) to give half of their fortunes away to save the planet hungry...

It would be much better if they got rid of the income tax, (which by the way, IS unconstitutional) and tax everyone including the top 1 percent, the same.

Let the rich stay rich. Let everyone pass their income to their children. But let the rest of us poor slugs have enough money to be able to practice true free trade (where monopolies are forbidden)

And then,...if Warren and Bill still want to give away their money... I'll be glad to accept a donation.

The Crotch Salute

Nobody Flashes Anger Early: I usually do my e-mail favorites on Saturday night...but this was just too much to take.

It was taken at the Ft. Hood Memorial, with the title...Crotch Salute.

I've included the feelings of the reaction of most Americans, every time Obama disrespects our nation's flag. And that other picture?---- That's me.

Crotch Salute.

I am sorry folks, but is this the MAGGOT that was elected President of our country?

You know, the United States of America . I do believe that saluting the flag goes with that, as does respecting and honoring the service members who have died.

Does this pompous &%* believe he is above that gesture? He can shower us all with flowery words and dazzle us with his B.S., but actions speak louder.

This sucks!

Now tell me our Muslim President isn't an anti-American!

EVERYONE needs to see this Pix!

(Thanks to Tom Beebe)

Terminator at the Turkey Buffet

Nobody's Perfect: Pick your pet peeve...You KNOW you've got one, everyone does.

Some people really can't stand the sound of fingernails running on a blackboard. To some, it's a woman nagging. Or someone riding your bumper on the freeway. People that don't use turn signals, but just butt in front of everyone because they missed their turn. Some people hate cats.
Me...I can handle just about everything, but one thing. And this one thing is where I draw the line. NOBODY gets by with it if I'm around.

And that's when people butt in line in front of you ...on purpose...just because they don't want to wait, and they think no one will say anything. It's a chance they take.
And because of this pet peeve of mine, I almost got into a knockdown dragged- out fight at the Buffet line for Turkey.

Yes, you heard me...turkey.

Last Sunday night, my family and I (which is my husband and grown son) went to a local Casino just to try out the 'all you can eat' buffet. If you have ever been to one of these things, you grab a plate, and you stand in line to get your cut of meat. The line goes left to right, or right to left, but that's it.

There's no middle, or anything 3D about it.

So, there I was, about sixteenth in line. And things were going pretty slow, mainly because before you got to the beef, turkey, and salmon boys with their carving knives, you came to the mashed potatoes and gravy.

Never put the mashed potatoes and gravy before the beef...I'm just saying.

About ten minutes in that line and I was ready...ready for my turkey...and then...up walked the Diva of the night. She walked right through the middle of the restaurant, her plate already full of food...and was going to just butt in front of me, because obviously, she wanted seconds, and she wasn't about to stand in line again.

I couldn't believe it! The audacity! No, I said to myself, is she really going to do this? Then I thought, she's black....and she's BIG...about six- two! (I'm 5'5") And she is all decked out to show...but look, she IS..she IS cutting right in front of me...and what...the...!

Yes, she did, she just butted in front of me and asked the guy for turkey.

"HEY---get in the back of the line and wait like the rest of us!" I said.

And then she said..."Well, I was here before you!"

Wrong thing to say.

"You were not..."

"I was in line...in fact, there were TWO lines!"

Yes...she made up her own line.

And then she lost it, and turned on me with a real vicious verbal attack. I was a white supremist, and I had a white problem, and because I was white I thought I was special...and then all I could keep saying was...

"Oh yeah...I'm white? I'm white? This is about me being...white?"

I should have said, I don't care if you're pink with polka dots and you're the cousin of Jimmy Hoffa, get to the back of the line... but I didn't.

Then I turned to the two boys that were cutting up the meat. A young black boy and a young white boy, and their eyes were about as big as saucers. There were thinking about how to duck the food...they were smiling and like..."Wow...check it out...this black and white lady are going to fight!"

She was threatening to beat up my white ass...right there...over turkey

I must admit...I got a wee bit...scared. Because after all, she was in full-blown fighting mode, a good eight feet taller than me.

But then, I looked down. She had flimsy high heels on. It was a very slick linoleum floor. She had a new sequin black dress, big earrings to grab, lots of teased up hair, and I had on my jeans, and a great pair of sneakers, a turtle neck sweater...and thirty years of carrying very heavy drum equipment.

She was toast.

Besides, I had worked enough bars in my life to know, that she was just a Obama bully.

So,...I put my face up about two inches from her nose...and looked at her calmly right in the eye. With my..."You do not scare me, and I'm ready....give me your best shot" I said....nothing. I just looked her in the eye.

Whoa.

I gave her my Ahmadinejad mixed with a bit of the Terminator...ready to rumble look.

She backed off, flashing her big fake eyelashes and pretty much ran, her pretty high heels flapping...no kidding!

The boys behind the counter gave her the size of a quarter of turkey...but they gave me...three slices of beef, three big slices of turkey.. a hunk of salmon....and lots of wow looks.

I felt...victory. (Come on, leave me alone. I think fighting over turkey is stupid.)

Now, I know, that we could take this further, the blacks because of Obama, want to get in the front of all the lines, and if the whites protest, they are white racists. It's getting old.

But, having told you all this, I do have a confession to make. I actually did cut in a line, just one time in my life...and I must apologize to the man.

Dave Barry...I'm sorry.

I was at a book signing downtown..(I live a good hour away) with Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson. The place was packed, and the line afterwards was about 2 hours wait. I had no idea there would be so many people there.

And because I had hand made a paper fan (which took me days) for Dave Barry's little girl, I wanted to give it to him. After all...this man, whose books I had admired so much, might never come my way again.

And BECAUSE I spent so much time in the bathroom trying to get my lipstick on perfect (Okay, I had not expected him to be so damn cute) I was the last person in line. That would put me home about 9 o'clock at night. What was I going to tell my husband?

Oh right:"Dear...I was at a book signing downtown...oh I didn't tell you? Sorry about supper." (You have to know my husband)

Anyway, I had to make the awful decision to go against every grain in my body. I either had to do the very thing I hated so badly...or waste the moment that might never come again in my lifetime. I had asked a couple about twenty back from the front if I could get in line with them...I explained my situation...and they were very nice. Nevertheless...Dave Barry saw me do it and I'm sure thought the very same thing about me. ...what a rude diva.

I have had a hard time living with that memory, and the face he made at me...I can't tell you, broke me inside. You can't explain these things in one second.

Now, if that girl had simply ASKED...told me she was just back for seconds...would I mind? I would not have had a problem with it.

But...like I said. I'm a terminator when it comes to my pet peeve. You do NOT mess with me.

I am...fearless. and Nobody's is ever perfect, BUT...I promise that I will protect and defend everyone's right to a fair line...unless it comes to Dave Barry.

Then, it's every woman for herself.

Aliens...Looking Out for Bill O'Reilly

Nobody Cares...The world woke up this morning to the important news that the United Nations has appointed an ambassador to Aliens, with the Pope's blessings.

Here we see how they handled our first visitor:

Alien: Hello earthlings...I want to speak to the human named Bill O'Reilly.

Ambassador Othman: No, I'm sorry. I am the person who's been appointed by our world's highest council, the United Nations. I represent the Earth, and it is I that will deliver your message to the earth. On behalf of all the people of the world, I would like to welcome you to our planet.

Alien: Who is the man in the cape?

Pope: Your holy alien, it is I, the Pope. Just call me Your Holiness. I am so happy to see you! Welcome!

Alien: What is a pope and what does he do?

Pope: I am the reincarnation of the holy trinity...the father, the son and the holy ghost.

Alien: You have three Gods?

Pope: No, there is only one God, and I represent him on this earth.

Alien: Well, I still want to speak to Bill O'Reilly, please contact him.

Ambassador Othman: Please... you are our honored guest, so I must implore you not to make any mistakes. I know much more about you than Bill O'Reilly..I happen to be an astrophysicist and Bill O'Reilly is nothing more than a television pundit. I am more than capable of handling your visit to our great planet...and I have been chosen to do so..

Alien: I don't care what you do, I want someone who is "fair and balanced" and that is what he claims he is, and your people also claim him to be----the most "fair and balanced" man on the earth, so he is the human I wish to speak with.

Pope: If you will permit me to guide you to my house, the holy Vatican here on Earth, I promise to contact Bill O'Reilly, who is a member of my church! I will personally fly him to the Vatican where all three of us can meet.

Alien: Good. Miss ambassador, you can go. (clicks her off his screen) Now Mr. Pope, tell the human Bill O'Reilly I will meet him by that big rock in (looks at hologram of the earth in front of him)... Mecca. Your Vatican is not capable of holding our ship. We will land our mother ship right on that big rock. It looks perfect for a good landing.

Pope: Oh, I'm afraid that cannot be...you see, no one is allowed near that rock unless you are of an Islamic religion.

Alien: I thought you were the representative of the three Gods? Is this Islamic god not one of them?

Pope: No, I only represent the one true God. The Muslims, who worship around the rock, have another God.

Alien: Just how many Gods do you have and what good are they if they build rocks that you cannot land our spaceship on?

Pope: Please, I must ask you...I have so many questions about the one true God....

Alien: I don't care, be quiet...and get me Bill O'Reilly, and soon too. Or would you rather we just blow up your planet?

Pope: WAIT...NO!!! Wait...Wait...I got him on the phone.

O'Reilly: Ringgg...Rining...(Bill picks up the phone.) Yes...Bill O'Reilly here. Can I help you?
(The Pope tries to speak to Mr. O'Reilly, but the Alien breaks in...)

Alien: Is this Mr. Bill O'Reilly?

O'Reilly: Yes, this is he.

Alien: I have been sent to this planet to give you a message from our leader. I am to say---are you there?

O'Reilly: Yeah...go ahead. (Bill, thinking this is some kind of joke from Glenn Beck, is smiling and looking over his workload for the next week..."Hello?"

Alien: Yes the message I have for you human Bill O'Reilly, great earthling of the people of earth, from the greatest Sarcasin from the planet of Sacasia is..."Who's looking out for you?"

(Nobody makes this stuff up.)

CNN Official Interview: Donald Trump answers why businesses aren't hiring

To see my post go here....and HERE.....