Friday, January 30, 2009

It's All In the Decor

Nobody Flashes; Every day, since Obama has taken office, we have watched him sign executive orders...with giant golden curtains behind him. Sure, he has the American flag nearby, and the Presidential flag on his right, but it's obvious, especially to a woman who notices these things...he REALLY likes the color of yellow to be behind him. And I have been looking at these curtains and the swirly things inside them...and all I can think about is...Saudi Kings.

Okay~!So he went to the Muslims and told them he had Muslims roots, which means he must like the golden color of Saudi Kings.

The first days in office, he has acted like a KING! Next thing you know, he will call himself with a Saudi Barack Hussein Obama!

I don't know about you...but I'm starting to see a pattern here...


Thursday, January 29, 2009

Pass the Salt...


Nobody Cares: The grab for government money is getting so bad, that our politicians are having to get real creative about things to tax, since everything we do is taxed now...

What's a politician to do?

Why, tax salt, of course.

The King of New York (who is posing as the mayor) Mr. Bloomberg, wants to impose a tax on, something that all humans on the planet need: salt.


He's hoping this catches on and the whole world decides its a darn good idea. Just think how much money they could raise?

They could pass the "sea salt" tax, for anyone who floats a boat. A good way to finally pass that sucker at the United Nations.

They could pass the "road salt" tax, for all cities to pay for upcoming global-warming ice storms.

Martha Stewart would finally go out of business.

But, what they REALLY want to do, is tax margaritas, because everyone knows, nothing gets a woman drunker quicker, than a couple of margaritas dosed in salt. And it's no secret that they are concerned about the population...this move would be another way to stop babies from being born due to too many margaritas.

MEN? Are you going to take this lying down?

I should hope so.


Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Nobody Knows How Much "Stimulation" We Can Bear..

Nobody Knows: Today, on my local TV, someone was offering people jobs to go around the city of St. Louis, and actually count the homeless. The local city officials declared that it had been three whole years since they had counted the homeless and an update was sorely needed, no doubt in order to get some of that “stimulus” money that Obama is going to be giving all the Mayors. They would also be passing out packages of tooth-paste, and blankets.

Nobody Knows why they don’t just give some homeless people those jobs, because in the first place, they need the money, and also, they probably know where all the other homeless people are? But then again, this is all about giving people jobs right? Just not the homeless, we need them to stay that way.

I was also thinking today just how much of a coincidence it is that Barack Obama and Bill Clinton are both…lefties. They also both had their mothers’ desert them when they were very young, and they were both raised by grandparents. They both went to Yale, and both are gifted speakers.

What?…Does somebody somewhere put up a Want-Ad in a Georgetown Local paper that says: Wanted: Young men with high IQ’s, emotionally scarred from having been deserted by mother and absent fathers, willing to do anything to gain power and take orders, starting out with political base in Chicago. Must be constitutional lawyers, married to lawyers, and alumni of Yale…only lefties need apply. ( Not to mention, Bill Clinton was the first real black President.)

Knowledge of how to demolish the Constitution is the highest prerequisite.

*And speaking of lefties…Rahm Emanuel, the senior advisor to Obama, was on Charlie Rose last week, making the unbelievable claim that it was Obama, NOT President George W. Bush, that actually got the first stimulus package passed. Rahm was claiming that never before in history, had a President BEFORE he became President, gotten such a big bill passed. Yes, he gave all credit to Obama.

President George W. Bush had nothing to do with it, he just took orders from Obama.

The Democrats, as we all know, will take credit for everything. Many of us remember in 1994, when the Republican Congress actually got rid of some of the welfare programs and cut taxes…and years later, Bill Clinton, along with Dick Morris, claim welfare reform was THEIR idea, and their finest hour, even though Bill Clinton had vetoed it two times before, and only passed it in order to get re-elected.

Next thing you know, Rahm Emanuel, the son of a Zionist, will be claiming that the Holocaust never happened, agreeing with Iran.

Wait for it.

And speaking of Chicago…Rahm is missing a portion of his left middle finger…You know, the one that we all use to express our deepest concerns? The story is--he lost it when he was working at Arby’s.
I bet that medical record is sitting somewhere with Obama’s birth certificate, in Hawaii, buried underwater in some deep shark-infested lagoon, along with Jimmy Hoffa’s body.

Many others are complaining today about all the “extra” items in the next stimulus package that passed the House today. Obama’s trillion dollar bailout bill, included billions for ACORN.

Some of us aren’t exactly sure what ACORN does, but we do know---walnuts are better for you.
Also…a very important item that was missing from the stimulus package was a bailout for the taxpayers who had to fork out money to the 46 people it took to deliver eight babies in Los Angeles last week. That’s eight doctor bills per baby.

Nobody knows if this lady was on fertility pills, or if she is an illegal immigrant, but an educated guess says, whoever she is, she is going to make a LOT of money on this deal.

Angelina…step aside!

And speaking of Angelina…it seems that the National Science Foundation…is having trouble keeping their governmental minds on science. They are wasting far too much time downloading porn, looking at porn, putting up cam pictures of porn, and dreaming of the day 3-D porn is delivered right into their national scientific laptops.

This waste of taxpayers time and scientific money is going to be studied and of course, that will cost at least a few trillion to get to the bottom of this, each porn download will have to be carefully examined, so to make up for the expense, the Post Office is going to have to cut back delivery of the mail for one whole day…so that THEY can go home and spend some time with porn-cams of their own.

Something the Democrats do every day when they let Jimmy Carter on the news.

Nobody Knows what Jimmy Carter looks like without clothes on, and nobody really cares at this point, because frankly…Jimmy Carter with clothes on is scary enough.


Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Bill Gates Is NOT Perfect

Nobody's Perfect: Once upon a time, one of the richest men in the world...

Got arrested.

Later, when he conquered the world, he managed to go back, probably hand out a few checks, and hide the reason he was arrested.

But, somehow, he decided to not get rid of the picture. And we see why.

He was a pretty cute kid...once upon a time.

The fact is: he is really 210 years old, a fact he doesn't want revealed...just yet.


Monday, January 26, 2009

The Tolling of the Liberty Bell

Nobody’s Opinion: “No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of they friends or thine own were; any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee”….JOHN DONNE

This quote from Ernest Hemingway’s war novel, For Whom the Bell Tolls, is the perfect example of why I got a big fat F on my first assignment in college English. Too bad Earnest wasn’t the teacher---I might have stayed in college. That unfair “F” was one of the reasons I decided to drop out.

It was my very first day of class. The typical liberal English professor gave us all a four-line poem to read as a first assignment and asked us how we would interpret it. As I read that poem, I realized that my interpretation would be different, depending on the mood I was in when I read it, regardless of the meaning of the author who wrote it at the time. After all, I had no idea what “she,” the writer, was thinking. The poem itself was very nebulous. And how was I to know about this “artist”? I had never heard of her in my great American public school system. I was there to learn, not guess about things.

Guessing doesn’t work in math, and it’s not much good in any other subject either.

The professor that day asked us what WE thought the poem meant…so I wrote in my essay that it would depend on my mood that day. If I was sad, I would take it romantically. If I was in a good mood, I would take it all together different. It also depended on what the person who wrote the poem was thinking that day, because I sure couldn’t tell by the poem.

“A rose, is a rose, is a rose”…could mean a rose is a simple fact, or it could be interpreted as an example of global warming, or that a lesbian just likes roses. How do we know unless we know the source of the poem?

The “professor” didn’t take my answer too well, because the next day, she took my essay and tore it apart in front of the whole class, and then proceeded to tell the whole class how stupid I was, and what that author’s poem really meant, according to her.


If I was asked that same question again today, I would say the exact same thing.

Despite the ignorance of that teacher, I learned a very important lesson that day-- that opinions about the meanings of certain written documents vary according to whatever the person at that moment in his or her life, wants it to mean.

This happens even in the interpretation of music. The great Arthur Rubenstein once said that whenever he played a piece on piano, he put his whole life and all his many experiences into every single note.

Good for music---but not so good when it comes to politicians, who are very good at interpreting “meanings” from historical documents to benefit whatever agenda they are trying to push on us at the moment.

Take the above quote from John Donne. If you were a soldier in Iraq, you would read this, and more than likely apply it to your life…as one soldier working in a unit. Every soldier needs to do his job, and if his friend dies, then a part of him dies with his friend.

If you were a liberal on the other hand, you could very well use this quote as an example of the whole world being part of one big family, and the African child that dies of malaria, affects the Iowa farmer, and therefore that Iowa farmer should feel guilty if he eats a good steak that day in good health.

Yeah, I know---ridiculously absurd.

It’s my nobody opinion that one of the main reasons most liberal newspapers have bit the dust, is that the week after week of global-pity news used to justify the paying out of large sums of taxpayer money to other nations---just got old and repetitious. Just because someone is dying in Africa, doesn’t mean that you should want to die in his place.

Hemingway, as it becomes clear in the novel, was using the Donne poem to put home the theme of his novel. A soldier dying for his friends and “comrades” in arms, for a cause they believed in: the chance for a nation to live as a Republic—a most noble cause if I must say so myself.

The novel’s main character is an American named Robert Jordon, who has gone to join antifascist guerillas fighters during the Spanish Civil War of 1936, something which Hemingway actually reported on.

So… we know the source, therefore the interpretation of John Donne’s words would be from a soldier’s point of view---even a gerbil could follow that logic…agreed?

Now, let’s take another example:

Recently we have seen our Constitution being re-interpreted by leftist liberals from Obama to Tom Hanks, who say that somewhere in the Constitution; all gays have the right to marriage, because of the “pursuit of happiness” clause, and “equal” rights.

But, if you’ve read anything by our founding fathers, the right to homosexual marriage was not what they meant by either phrase. They founded the nation on their own strong, Christian beliefs, and homosexual marriage is not part of that philosophy.

Sorry, Mr. Hanks, the Mormons are more justified in this than you; on the basis of interpretation…you simply must consider the source. Tom Hanks, apologized for calling the Mormons un-American, where in fact, it was he that was untrue to the founders and their wonderful document.

If we go on by Tom Hanks’s shoddy interpretations, the Pursuit of Happiness can mean many things. Maybe it would make a certain person happy to have ten wives, and be able to kill any one wife, any time he felt like it.

My idea of happiness would be Tom Hanks funding a trip around the world for me! Quick!-- Someone see if that’s in the Constitution!

No, the real intent of the founders, as we have known for decades, is that in this great country every single person should have the right to justice, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness…as long as it doesn’t hurt or interfere with ‘other’ people’s life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

And as much as gays and lesbians deserve the same rights as every citizen, they impose great unhappiness when too many of us are having to watch them kiss on our TV’s, and know that their sexual preferences are being pushed as perfectly normal sexual behavior to our children in our educational system.

Homosexuality is not “normal” in animals, let alone human’s beings. If it makes them happy, then that’s their right to pursue each other, but they do not have the right to impose it on the rest of us. Maybe Alec Baldwin gets a kick out of exclaiming how he wants to make out with Anthony Hopkins at an awards dinner--but do we have to listen to such nonsense?

You could turn off the show you say? Well, how in the world can we see half this stuff coming? You can’t. Like a bug on your windshield, it just hits you…splat.

And yet, that is what is being done in the name of “equal” rights.

And since they can’t rewrite the Constitution without Congress, they just make up their own interpretation of the document, which is: gays have the right to be happily married.

Another liberal misinterpretation is global warming.

Today, Obama said that global warming is a fact…because everyone agrees it is.

Good thing he isn’t in that Texas Ice storm in Dallas this morning.

Many thousands of scientists on this planet disagree with Obama’s interpretation of the “facts.” But then again, Obama, as we have seen by his signing executive order after order, is on an island entirely to himself.

And that’s too bad for the rest of us---For the bells of liberty will toll for no one, when one man makes himself “King.”

Americans are compassionate people, but killing the hen that laid the golden goose is not the way to heal or help the world, and that's what they plan to do.

So, while the bells are tolling in many a gay liberal mind tonight, to this nobody, some of it seems most of those bells are simply cracked, and beyond repair.

For Whom Does the Bell Toll, Hemingway asked?

Well, speaking for myself, whenever another bell of liberty from the Republic of America dies: whenever a liberal politician or actor takes our founding documents and interprets them in whatever mood they happen to be in at the moment…leading us further down the fascist roads…

The Bell Tolls for Thee...and nobody me.