Saturday, August 21, 2010

Throw Out the Vote!

Nobody Flashes:

Some countries REALLY know how to pick their politicians! I say we take up this method. Every country could use whatever animal they like, and just...give it a go.

It would save citizens everywhere billions of tax-payers dollars, and the whole world would be better off.


Thursday, August 19, 2010

Pippy Goes to Pakistan

Nobody Knows: Being the good American that I am, I have sent my trusty dog Pippy to help the poor Pakistan people who are drowning from the biggest flood of the century.
He should get there, any day now. I expect he will be VERY appreciated.
*Hey, I don't feel like writing tonight. Deal with it.


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Nobody Talks to Allah

Nobody Reports: Today, Muhammad Mula Moobu Bin Laden came out and tried to explain why the Muslims MUST be allowed to built the Mosque near ground zero..
Here we see him with his family getting ready to open the biggest airport in the Dubai.

It's all about.."Who's got the biggest?"

Nobody: Mr. Moobu, I hear you are much concerned with the American people trying to block the building of your Mosque Center next to the empty lot where the Twin Towers once stood. Tell me--- just what message are you trying to display with this building to Islam, and what message of good will come of this?

Moobu: ALLAH BE PRAISED....we built it to THANK the American people.

Nobody: Really, you're thanking them? Why?

Moobu: Before 9/11, we did not have much success in anything.. ..but after 9/11, Allah has delivered our people to wonderful gifts---one of them being a U.S. President who understands our cause, and we thank the American people for that.
Because of the effects of the aftermath of that attack, we Muslims have now built the tallest building in the world! That one blow in the name of Islam has weakened you to the point that you no longer can claim to have the biggest and most beautiful buildings! We have now built the biggest airport in the world! We have the most exotic cars! We are now the richest nation on earth. With that one unfortunate attack, we have become number one, in all things Allah desires for us! The Mosque will show, how certain is Allah with dealing with Satan. You have not even so much as built a tiny little store on the site where once great buildings stood for all to see, and that is Allah's will, and we must celebrate his glory with the biggest Mosque in New York...for all to see! Praise be to Allah!.

We also will have the biggest guitar in the world..with the biggest Hard Rock Cafe, NOT in America, where rock and roll was born...but in Dubai! A guitar that is 118 feet tall. You will be able to see it in New York...You see, we do everything better than you. A handful of men, brought your great Satan down...and delivered us to riches. And yet, you spend billions in wars over here, and many, many lives...and get very, very...poor. Yet, you do not defeat Islam.

And now, in our Holy Mecca, we also will have our OWN time. We will no longer go by Western Time ever again. In fact, our time will be three hours before you. You must now do all business on OUR time. And to celebrate the rise of the Muslim nation over the West, we have built the biggest clock on the earth...bigger than your Big Ben...with lights, over that everyone will know when to bow to Allah.
Yes, we build the Mosque to celebrate, Allah's true faith and the return, of our great nation, because, as your President Bush has said: you are addicted to our oil! Allah has put the oil under our ground so as to conquer all the world. It's his wish.
Nobody: One more question Mr. Moobu....You are complaining about being able to practice your religion in America, but SINCE our laws say America is free to practice all religions, and SINCE you will allowed to build your Mosque, and SINCE no other religion in our country bans anyone from entering their accordance with our laws...will Christians and Jews be allowed in your new Mosque?
Moobu: Nobody has asked that question yet, and ALLAH be praised, we don't have to let them in...because we have the right to refuse all Jews and Christians according to our religion...
So let it be written, so let it be done.
But, we do hope you will come to the opening! Obama will be there to welcome us to America! With great praised for the Muslim's Triumph over Satan, on 9/11.
Allah be praised!
(Nobody makes this stuff up...and hopes someone gets the REAL message.)


Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Blogo, Mezvinsky, Clintons: Fine Criminal Traditions...

Nobody Wins---Life is just not fair...
What's the secret to staying out of jail? How come some politicians can manage to commit crimes and come out smelling like a rose? What's their secret? Is it the hair?
Let's compare just three:
1. You didn't hear about it, but the "man" that Chelsea Clinton just got married to comes from a background of criminals. His dad, Edward "Ed" Mezvinsky, (That's him in the red circle) was once a Democratic House Representative for Iowa. He was found guilty of 31 out of 60 very serious crimes of bank fraud, mail fraud, and wire fraud. He went away for 5 years, but is now out, and I'm sure, attended the wedding of his son to the famous Chelsea, and is no doubt good friends with the Clintons. After all, he signed on to the impeachment of Nixon, which means, since Hillary Clinton worked on that famous lawyer team of "impeachment" dogs, they are dear friends. Not to mention, he's also worked for that outstanding and upright group of "citizens"...the United Nations, on civil rights. But life has been rotten to the guy...five years...the nerve of some judges.
2. And today, the notorious and lovable Blago (Rod Blagojevich, GOV of IL) was only found guilty of one charge out of 23 very serious crimes. All politicians bribe, sell senate seats, and have bad hair days.. they are so commonplace to the American people, we can't blame ANYONE for taking part in the game. His crimes were forgivable to the jury. He walked out a free man...and walked right up to the mike to...get this: complain. The jury said he lied to the FBI, and for THAT...he was complaining. I think he should be the next Burger King...but that's me.
3. And last but not least...the master of them all...Bill Clinton. He was never taken to impeachment for selling our nuclear secrets to China, or Vince Foster's Death, or Ron Brown's...plane crash..(don't get me into the plane crashes ) or starting a war in Kosovo because he was trying to divert attention away from his got off with a prayer service at Jesse (I had an affair too) Jackson. Well, you can be a President and lie to a grand jury, and go on to control the world as a very rich man, but he squawked like a pig in the middle a walk through Mecca throughout the whole affair. Poor guy is still trying to get over it.
It's tough when all the politicians you know, get by with...literally, murder, and whoa to you if they call you out on them. Charlie Rangel, Maxine Waters...will all suffer in their multimillion dollar mansions in the Bahamas.
When all our politicians play the "get out of serious jail for free" card...and can also keep all their felonies and major crimes out of the news, and even, as in Blogo's (Roy, Blagojevich) case...glorified, Nobody ever Wins.
And we wonder why people keep running for office. Can you think of any other job in the world where you can commit major crimes and not be held accountable for it? In fact, you are rewarded for the excellent job you CAN do as a criminal? be able to threaten your daughter's potential boyfriends with drones...makes it all worth the effort. And they would all tell you...HEY...somebody has to do it! Might as well be me!


Monday, August 16, 2010

Nobody's Perfect: Steven Slater

Nobody's Perfect:
"Take This Job and Shove it...I don't work for you no more..."
---said Steven Slater, former airline steward of Jet Blue, who had had his fill of people with huge bags and crying babies, and cancer stricken mothers.
So, he...snapped. And like a true diva...did it in grand style by telling off the customers, grabbing a couple of beers, and sliding out of the plane, just like he did when he was just a kid, and life was gay, and fun, and people weren't asking for an extra pillow, and stuffing dead bodies under the seat.
At first, America cheered...finally someone did what we all were feeling.
And then, of course, we all had to admit, he should have just sucked it up and quit his job properly...outside the plane. It wasn't very mature of that blow a gasket...but still.
As of this moment in time, he remains...the hero of the, "Take this Job and Shove It" service industry crowd.
Congratulations Steve! You're not Perfect, but you are now, perfectly famous!


Sunday, August 15, 2010

Buckle Up Your Overcoat...

Nobody's Opinion: I'm sorry. I just cannot act like what I am seeing before me is not happening.

Here in St. Louis, on a hot Sunday summer day, there was only a handful of about four families at the brand new $4-million dollar water park just built last year.
People can't afford the cost to get in, and the park can't afford lifeguards for the rest of the summer.

I came home from my swim to watch General Petraus's eyes literally light up as he mentioned the trillions of dollars worth of minerals just waiting to be mined in Afghanistan. Of course, someone is going to have to get those out, he said. And by the look on his face, he has been promised a nice return on the first returns, and he can't wait.

By now, most of us do not believe we are there for the protection of the AMERICAN people anymore. As we have seen, even in our own neighborhoods, jihadists can train right here in our country. (And 9/11 was proof of that.) That's not why we are there...and I frankly am tired of hearing it. They'd better think up some other excuse.

It should hit us when our streetlights are being turned off, our libraries closed, and camera's going up on every corner...not to mention...the drones above our heads.

It hits me every time Obama attacks Israel and sticks up for his beloved Islam. It SHOULD have hit us when he said Islam is very much a part of American history.

It should have hit us when the Republican Party ran...McCain, after they had lost so badly with Dole. And it should have hit us when the last election was run like an American Idol contest.

It should have hit us when we watch the pathetic response to Katrina--- but let a disaster happen in any country in the world, and we are RIGHT there!

It should have hit us when after nine years, there is still an empty lot on the grounds of the World Trade Center. And now, our President sides with an Imam to build a Mosque, even puts him on our payroll, to insult the memory of that event and all who died.

It should have hit us when President George Bush called brave Americans trying to guard the border "vigilantes."

It should have hit us when we "nationalized" the car companies.

It should have hit us when a whole Congress passed Universal Health Care without even reading it.

It should hit us that the Obama's are just going to milk the treasury for the best fun and most travel a couple can fit into a if the world is going to end tomorrow so they sure as hell are going to enjoy themselves...while millions of Americans can't afford even food.

When BP ruined the beloved gulf coast of our country, and Obama waited over three months to act, and the CEO was just annoyed that he had to be over here instead of sailing on his should have hit us.

In fact, when President George W. Bush waited over nine months after 9/ send over the troops..thereby giving Saddam enough time to remove the WMD...we should have know it. We had to WAIT for permission from the World?

We should have known it when Obama closed down all oil drilling.

Personally I felt I knew it when I found out that our own government, while grounding all flights, made sure that all of bin Laden's families were picked up and flown out of the country.

We should have known it when at the cost of billions, while our country was suffering economically, our government built the biggest and most expensive embassy in the world, in Baghdad.

It should have hit us when a President appointed one man to give billions to the billionaires on Wall Street, without so much of a blink of an eye, and his "illegal" follower continued the mass bailouts.

We should have known it, not when a black man won the Presidency, but when that black man insisted on us calling him Barack Hussein Obama. We should have know it when that black man continues to become a dictator, transforming America, into a third world country as fast as he can.

Yesterday, I drove to a mall, that I used to go to. This was a great mall, had all the big stores: Sears, JC Penny's, Famous-Barr, and about 300 shops. After the mall went up, whole neighborhoods of upscale houses...$250,000 and up around it.

And as I drove to the mall, I noticed whole new neighborhoods of great, clean ...big expensive American Dream houses. Most of the houses are owned by blacks. Most of them drive expensive cars. SO...what happened to that beautiful mall?

It's looks like it's right out of the series..."Life after People" on the History Channel...50 years.

There was an JC penny outlet on one end, which sold clothes for $10 or less...and at the other end of the mall was a MACY's who price range was only the well to do can afford.
A perfect example of America. Rich, and poor, right next to each other.

But, what was more disturbing to me was the acres upon acres of corn field surrounded the area. Corn...America's new ethanol. export.

It was as if, they know...we will soon HAVE no gasoline, and they are getting ready.

This is a picture of men looking for work in the Depression. Last week, we saw over 30,000 people looking for a free handouts in Atlanta. Double dip Recession is just a politicians' word for-- "You're screwed!"

The depression IS here...and we can no longer pretend that we DON'T see anything.

As they say in Hollywood: Buckle up...the world is about to explode.

(At least that's my Nobody's Opinion)