Friday, September 05, 2008

Nobody Watches MTV and Dives

Nobody Knows: Sometimes you just have to let your brain go into stupid mode…and the best way to do that I found out, is to watch MTV Cribs.

Watching mega-multi-millionaires who can’t even speak English, or even balance a checkbook, but can open up a refrigerator and tell you his secret to fame and fortune is his stock of vitamin water, is my idea of letting your brain go into a much needed universe of “could be the end is near, so don’t sweat the small stuff” mode.

Like Rem sleep, sometimes you just have to break down and watch the absurd idiots in life who, like Forest Gump, made it into heaven because they did something you did not because they weren't thinking.

They all have the same thing. A big HD TV…a huge kitchen, and their “bedroom” where they all jump on their beds and make big eyes at the camera…

This one guy today even had a bed outside with a fireplace and he was stroking his imaginary girl’s hair…

The imaginary girl, according to him…loved it.

Then they went to a “rockers” house, and that guy kept breaking dishes on the floor and telling his girlfriend to clean it up.

He was my favorite.

I’m still trying to figure out why this show is so popular. I had a discussion about this today with my husband (who by the way, is still alive) and he suggested that the purpose of the show it to send out the message to our teenagers---do NOT go into science or math, or anything sensible like learning how to become a hedge-fund manager that uses other people’s money to get rich…BUT instead, learn how to rap, play basketball, or in this guy’s case, flip a bike that is much too small to support your weight into the air and land without breaking your neck.

What I wanna know is: if Christopher Reeve got thrown by a simple horse, how do these kids survive this stuff?

Nobody knows, but everyone wants to witness it when it happens.

There was a guy on the show today, who had made a small fortune by jumping his bike into the air, and all I could think of was: I sure hope he bought his mother a house because I just bet that woman worked her fanny off buying him a LOT of bikes while he was growing up.

He did not mention his mother, because he was….”single.”

But, he was building his own bike course behind his pool, and if I were him I’d jump that dirt-bike hill and land right in the pool.

When you have so much money, and don’t have to worry about the future, why not go for it, I say? At least have enough sense to land in the water.

You know…you have to admire these guy’s lack of intelligence. If they actually knew or had thought out the consequences of jumping into the air up five stories, and maybe NOT coming down just exactly right…

They might not even attempt it. In their cases, ignorance is not only bliss…it’s mandatory.

Nevertheless…I am watching their beautiful homes and being very envious because I would never in my wildest dreams jump a bike up five stories and twist it in the air, just for a few million dollars and five $100,000 cars, with leather interiors.

If I were rich, I’d be like Buffet. I’d still be in the same old house, spending my money on vacations to mysterious places.

But I would get a pool…I might even jump into it with a bike… off the diving board…at least once.

Well, on second thought….


Thursday, September 04, 2008

Beer On the Road...

Nobody Flashes: After Sarah Palin's nomination to become the first woman Vice President of the United States, (perhaps) many of the small towns in Alaska, had a great time partying in celebration, as we see here.

It also helped to know that because Sarah runs such a tight ship, this mess will either be cleaned up by tomorrow, or left in place in order to discourage the masses of Americans that will be moving to Alaska soon. man said it was actually a herd of moose's...who just happened to run into a truck filled with beer, and were pretty excited about Sarah and her family being out of the state.

No, I'm kidding. This was taken in doubt in response to the news that they can now work overtime and get.."rich." like the Americans.

Or maybe some of our soldiers just got lost on their way to Georgia...

Or maybe I'm really tired and should go to bed.


Wednesday, September 03, 2008

The Great American Woman---She's BACK!

Nobody’s Opinion: The other day, I was sitting in my bank, waiting to see an agent, and across from me was a cocky looking kid of about 22 with his young girlfriend. Being my nosy self, I got to talking to them, and found out that the young man had been deployed to Iraq twice, as a medic.

“So, what do you think about it all?” I asked. Keeping my opinions to myself is not always easy, but I really wanted to find out.

He told me he thought we got into Iraq for all the wrong reasons, but if we pulled out, it would be a disaster for the United States---a view that my own son agrees with. I was thinking that, despite what Obama tells us, not all our young men are crazy about leaving the job undone in Iraq, especially boys raise by true American women.

The kid had a big tattoo on his back, and get this…it looked like a grave, with a name and the years of the person’s life.

I told him I liked it and he said, “Yeah, it has the year my grandmother was born and the year she died…you know I loved her…she saved my life…literally. I would be dead but for her.”

And he proceeded to tell me about his wonderful grandmother, and how much she had done for him.

His grandmother must have been some kind of American woman.

I began thinking of my own mother, who would get up very early, fix breakfast, go to work as the owner of a middle-sized printing company, came home, cook dinner, spend time with us kids, and then got up every day and do it all over again. She put food on the table, put up with the union strikes, babysat 30 employees, and knew how to do every job in the place. She bid the jobs, balanced the books, sent out the mail, helped strip the negatives, bought the supplies, even worked on weekends in the bindery, and got the jobs out all by herself sometimes, working late into the night. The only thing she couldn’t do was lift the paper onto the presses. But she knew how to do it.

She also supported us in every way, paid for my father’s love of golf, and was always there for us. She never once thought about “women’s” rights.

Before the “sexual” revolution and the “women’s rights” debacle, this woman could be found everywhere.

Remember that American woman?

Well, she appeared again tonight, in her first speech at the Republican convention, right out of a John Wayne True Grit Movie, and her name is Sarah Pilen.

You know, real American women are all around us, but we never see them on our TV. In fact, if you were an alien and just followed the news media outlets, you would swear that the only women that exist in America are girls wanting to have “sex” and a few egotistical “politicians.”

For the last twenty years, all we have heard about is the “feminists,” who frankly, never did a damn thing but complain.

And what was wrong with John McCain putting her on the ticket, because, frankly, much of John’s base has left him due to all his liberal leanings. Sarah is the quintessence of all that conservatives stand for.

Smart move.

After twenty years of living with Queen Marxist Hillary, Sarah is the right choice at the right time.

And when you compare the two…well, no wonder the left is attacking her so badly.

Hillary’s presence is like taking a bite out of a soppy, bland, tuna-salad sandwich. Sarah is a filet mignon, with a baked potato, salad, and chocolate moose for desert. Hillary is a paper plate. Sarah---pure iron.

Oh, she’s only been a governor they say. Well, so was President Bush---so was President Clinton.

She doesn’t have the experience to be Commander-in-Chief, they say. Well historically speaking, neither Bill Clinton nor George Bush did such a great job at that, not really.

Can women be Commander-in-Chief? Well, history says yes. Queen Elizabeth had her defeat of the Spanish Armada, and you did NOT mess with Golda Meir.

So, what you ask yourself is: what do we really want in an American Vice President? The same thing we want in a President---guts, integrity, truth, common sense, and someone who lives by the stanch principles of our founders…ones that come from God.

Someone who cannot be corrupted, and most importantly, puts America first. Sarah’s speech showed that she will do just that.

You know, I thought Giuliani, gave a rammingly great speech tonight…and he said the right thing---that Sarah was the future.

I hope he’s right. I hope they let this woman shine---the rest of the truly great American women that have been smashed down time and time again by Hillary’s band of Marxist in-breeders, will then have the courage with Sarah leadership to stand up and hold their great conservative heads up proud again.

Can Sarah influence John McCain? I don’t know.

But you know, God has a habit of showing up at just the right time…

Let’s hope, this is one of them.


Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Putin Does Nothing

Nobody Cares: Outside the Republican Convention, many of the followers of Obama have gathered to protest John McCain's VP pick...and the fact that their mothers obviously did not have a very good start in life....

This man is taking a much needed break from the protests.

He is waiting for his chance to protest the Hurricanes being caused by God to punish the Republicans...and Michael Moore, who promised to hang out with him.

AND STILL...Putin does nothing.


Monday, September 01, 2008

Nobody Knows WHY Hospitals Close Down On Holidays and Weekends

Nobody Knows: Last week my husband came down with a serious blood clot in his leg. He went into the hospital for one day, and then was released the next, with two huge bruises on his stomach from shots.
He was sent home within 24 hours, with a prescription blood thinners to get rid of the blood clots...and instructions to shot himself in the stomach for 7 days. He has not left one mark.
But then, the doctors office INSISTS that he get blood drawn today, a holiday. They faxed the information to the hospital they are in, and told us to show up. We MUST show up.
But of course, the whole hospital was closed. Not a soul anywhere, but a few nurses on the floors upstairs.
We argued with them. It would be closed, but no...they insisted.
Then, our pharmacy called today, and said our prescription was ready. We went to pick it up (Walgreens) and it guessed it...closed.
This is nothing new. I just want to tell everyone, who has not experienced this. Unlike your local malls, your McDonalds, your golf courses...etc...if you have the audacity to get sick on a weekend or a holiday, you're $%$^$. You will not starve, but you might bleed to death.
It wasn't always this way. And it's going to get worse.
There was a time in America, that when you were seriously sick, you would go into the hospital and not be released until you were out of harms way.
The picture explains it all, it's a train wreak if you need desperate help, and all you can do is...pray.
Okay. I'm done complaining.


Sunday, August 31, 2008

A Roll Call of Speeches

Nobody’s Opinion: So, Happy Campers…here’s how a leftover hippie nobody sitting in the middle of a hot August month, Labor Day weekend, judged all the Democratic nonsense of last week. Forget all those professional dudes and dudettes making lots of money telling you just what went down, what you need a different outlook, on just what happened…

Because, nobody really knows what kind of stuff that actually goes on behind the scenes…all we can do is guess.

Who should be our next President? Let’s just judge the speeches….

First, we had the last chance at the dance, Hillary Clinton. Hillary was at her best, and she gave the most magnificent speech that she has ever, or will ever make. I don’t care if she runs again four years from now---she should just make the same speech.

I frankly, don’t remember a word she said, but who cares? When we all heard the applause as she entered the stage, all her loyal fans thought…What in the world is wrong with Obama? Women were crying into their recycled cups…oh my God…he picked Joe Biden! How could he?

And then the second day came, and the infamous…“ROLL CALL” which everyone is claiming was not infamous…but don’t believe them.

I just love it, when most of the nobodies in the world notice things so blatantly unfair and just down right amazing, and nobody else in the world says a thing.

That does it. The rest of the world is on drugs.

I was eating my popcorn and really getting into the roll call. There she was, Nancy Pelosi, right out of Vogue, calling off every state alphabetically, and giving every state a chance to announce their electoral votes! Just to see all the people there, who had taken the time from their busy lives and go to this convention and believe that their vote counts was pretty…well, it beats cleaning house.

I thought it was much more entertaining than watching the Simpsons. I saw at least four Homers in every state. That guy gets around.

When it came to keeping score…on the CNN screen, there was OBAMA in BIG, letters, and underneath him…a tiny little font called, “Hillary”

That should have been the first clue.

And every state was about the same. They all gave Hillary, a few “token” votes. The rest went to Obama. Okay, we all knew Obama was going to win, but Hillary was getting slaughtered.

Then they came to California, over 400 votes and…I thought, “Hey, Hillary could catch up here.” But…they passed.


Then, Illinois passed. Then as the great state of New York was coming up…down she ran, as fast as she could…to stop the announcement.

I’ve never seen her even run before!…and yes…Hillary stopped the whole nation from hearing, not only how many electoral votes the biggest states had cast and for WHOM, but the rest of the states were not even allowed to continue because Hillary and Nancy basically smiled and said…Okay...Obama wins! Wow…Democracy at it’s finest. In every other contest, the votes go to the end…but Hillary and Nancy stopped it cold.

Somewhere in Texas, there were some very mad people who did not get to see their Homers on TV.

Then came Bill Clinton’s speech. Bill said ‘thank you’ about 2,597 times to the thunderous applause that proved he was the most popular Democrat in the world. Bill got even bigger applause than Hillary. He looked twenty years younger, and I don’t remember what he said either, but he outdid Hillary. And no matter how soppy he looked with that “I love you” look on his face while listening to her speak the night before, Bill Clinton will never let anyone ever outshine him, not even her…and that’s why he simply couldn’t be at that stadium with Obama.

Then came Obama’s speech. His speech, out of the three, was the very worst. (That’s my opinion) The ending of it was not exactly climatic. It was just…another one of his speeches. Most of them are the same nebulous stuff.

But the spectacle reminded me of another great speaker in history… who used to hypnotized great masses of people…I won’t mention his name. Madonna might get mad.

I do remember a few things he said. I think he wants to attack Russia, go into caves and “get” bin Laden, and basically start WWIII. Hopefully, all those people at the stadium will volunteer to fight. Oprah should donate her false eyelashes and raise money for guns.

And so, we all went on our merry way thinking, “Okay, McCain is toast.” until we heard a final speech.

A short acceptance speech of a real American that will be remembered looooong after all the other speeches are gone…a speech by a young woman…who like Bill Clinton was before he was elected President, a governor…

And if you judge by the four speeches from last week who our next President should be…
She’s not running for the office. But Sarah Pelin, in my humble opinion, was the only trustworthy American speaking.