Saturday, February 06, 2010

Nobody Gets Email: Snowstorm

It's Saturday, and I got this yesterday. I thought it fit the latest news on our Capitol being blasted with 30 inches of lovely snow, that this e-mail fit perfectly well with the feeling of global warming...I mean...winter.
Thanks to my friend Patty, who I haven't seen in twenty years...but, whose counting?
Look at these pictures and the words. Glad to be in California . These people do not want big government.

Emergency Weather Bulletin

This text is from a county emergency manager out in the western part of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan after a severe snow storm ...

The Mining Journal,Marquette, MI


Up here in the Northern part of Michigan we just recovered from a Historic event --- may I even say a "Weather Event" of "Biblical Proportions" --- with a historic blizzard of up to 44" inches of snow and winds to 90 MPH that broke trees in half, knocked down utility poles, stranded hundreds of motorists in lethal snow banks, closed ALL roads, isolated scores of communities and cut power to 10's of thousands.


Obama did not come.

FEMA did nothing.

No one howled for the government.

No one blamed the government.

No one even uttered an expletive on TV.

Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton did not visit.

Our Mayor's did not blame Obama or anyone else.

Our Governor did not blame Obama or anyone else either.

CNN, ABC, CBS, FOX, or NBC did not visit - or even report on this category 5 snow storm.

Nobody demanded $2,000 debit cards.

No one asked for a FEMA Trailer House.

No one looted.

Nobody - I mean Nobody demanded the government do something.

Nobody expected the government to do anything either.

No Larry King, No Bill O'Rielly, No Oprah, No Chris Mathews and No Geraldo Rivera.

No Shaun Penn, No Barbara Striesand,
No Brad Pitts, No Hollywood types to be found.

Nope, we just melted the snow for water.

Sent out caravans of SUV's to pluck people out of snow engulfed cars.

The truck drivers pulled people out of snow banks and didn't ask for a penny.

Local restaurants made food, and the police and fire departments delivered it to the snow bound families..

Families took in the stranded people - total strangers.

We fired up wood stoves, broke out coal oil lanterns or Coleman lanterns.

We put on an extra layers of clothes because up here it is "Work or Die".

We did not wait for some affirmative action government to get us out of a mess created by being immobilized by a welfare program that trades votes for 'sittin at home' checks.

Even though a Category 5 blizzard of this scale is not usual, we know it can happen and how to deal with it ourselves.

I hope this gets passed on.

Maybe .....
SOME people will get the message ......
The world does Not owe you a living.


Friday, February 05, 2010

To Serve, and Protect...

Nobody Cares:
The Government of the United States of America,
Sworn to protect and defend the good citizens of the world,
Have been working day and night to figure out,
How to save the planet, and get rid of some of those pesky people.
First, they outlawed everyone's light bulb, and passed a law that all safe and usable light bulbs must be gone in ten years and replaced with a mercury-poisoned filled one that releases deadly gas when broken.
Mao be proud.
So many people and children will get sick, that billions will be made by the pharmaceutical companies treating the illnesses.
But this will not be enough. Cleverly, they worked day and night to come up with another solution to that problem. They just needed the right crisis.
And they got it with Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab, who tried to blow up a plane.
Mr. Obama has just designated $734 million body scanners to be placed in all airports in order to x-ray everyone who wants to fly...which MIGHT cause in some cases cancer, because being exposed, even to low doses of radiation, can damage DNA.
It will also, create a lot of money for our government and protect ich people (and terrorists) who do not want to be scanned, and will pay gladly pay a high price to have a "get through without scanning" ID card.
This will also at the same time, create millions of jobs for single young guys (and lots of retired ones too) who will become basically unionized porn x-ray watchers, while zapping billions of people each day with radiation. They will certainly join the union just for the thrill of it all.
To protect us of course.
But that is not enough.
Soon, working with the great country of Japan and China, the people of the United States will be told they can no longer drink their tap water, and must purchase CANNED water from foreign countries.
This water will be filled with deadly cancer causing chemicals (and sterilization caustics) which will further reduce the population by 2020 to a more reasonable and manageable statistic.
(Nobody Makes SOME of This Stuff decide.)


Thursday, February 04, 2010

Nobody Wins When Rush Limbaugh Attacks The Wrong People

Nobody Wins:

God, I was mad as a hornet at Rush Limbaugh today. I saw him on some TV program talking about all the Independent people---How they just don’t understand what they will do with the country if they continue to walk the Independent way.

Why, why…look what happened with Perot, he says. The ticket was split and then…look what we got---Bill Clinton!

How stupid it was of us to vote for Perot!

Hey, I voted for Perot, twice. Perot was right. NAFTA was a terrible idea, and it did send all the jobs overseas and it did destroy our country. He was right.

But Rush continues to this day to call him a nut.

And I cannot believe that Rush is still putting Independents down. And he does it condescendingly, as if we are all morons. He clearly has not seen the corner he has put himself into. The more he puts Independents down, and berates their intelligence, the more he pushes them away.

Keep it up Rush---Glenn Beck thanks you.

The main argument Rush give for voting Republican is that they are so much better than Democrats, which is true, but….not good enough.

What really hurts is we all love Rush. But, Obama is NOT our dad, and—

Neither is Rush Limbaugh.

Rush is a Republican, right or wrong, till the day he dies, because he believes with all his heart in the Republican Party. We can admire and love him for that.

And yet, he wanted us to vote for Hillary last election---

Go ahead…HOLD YOUR BREATH, and vote for the lady that I trashed for over eight years!

It was like if your father told you to let the neighbor who screwed you out of your house, come and take your car too…it was the same…”the end justified the means,” I guess.
Do what daddy Rush tells you…I know it’s dishonest, but do it.

The guy is losing it. He is desperate. Mockingly dancing to rap songs, and picking black Miss America’s to win votes.

What? Rush is not capable of this kind of thing PR thing? Maybe not, but then again…the timing was sure propitious.

Yes, the big mistake Rush is making, and I don’t think he sees it himself, is that he keeps putting down the American people, who have lived all their lives under one party or another some three decades and now see…that it does not matter who wins the White House, they do not represent the working class people.

We now live in a sort of fascistic oligarchy.

We’d be STUPID to expect it to be any different…especially now when we are on our last breath.
Limbaugh is always saying how much he believes in us…but it seems that is ONLY if we agree with him.

Tell me….why is his attitude any different than Obama’s? Why?

Logically, it’s not.

Rush misses the very essence of what it means to be an American. We want to think for ourselves. We don’t want anyone telling us what to do with our lives. He has said he knows these things about us…BUT, when we do it---think for ourselves based upon what we see and hear…he gets mad!

Can you say…pass the hypocrisy?

Got some real logical persuasion, Rush? Go for it. But remember….while we were being bashed by President Bush, you treated your old friend with kid gloves.

Frankly, I’ll take being called a “tea bagger” over a “vigilante” any day of the week.

You, Rush did NOT stick up for us. You stuck up for your friend. At least that’s how I felt. And I still feel that way. You put your party before country.

And then you wonder why there are so many Independents.

So, since this nobody adores you Rush, and because it’s obvious you’re a great man, with good intentions--- let me give you some nobody advice.

These are desperate times. The last thing we need is you going around bashing MOST Of America.

Most of the tea partiers are sick of both Parties, and it’s your job is to win those conservatives and liberal Independents over to the Republican Party, right?


Get a frigging grip on your emotions, and THINK. Bashing us with your contempt is not going to get you anywhere.

And if you still love this country as much as you say you do, BUT--- you considered the majority of Americans to be…stupid, then, run for president Rush, on the Republican ticket.

Put your convictions where your mouth is.

The Independents would vote for you. This nobody would vote for you.

The truth is, many of us see no Republicans anywhere we can trust, right now. That’s a truth you’ll sooner or later just have to fess up and face.

And as long as you keep putting decent Independent Americans down…I will turn you off…

I consider your contempt for this nobody Independent, and all very fine Independent…fightin'

YES...I will fight you with both hands in front of me, because frankly---I don’t like bullies, and you’re starting to sound like one. (Okay, you have the bigger advantage. because your bigger than me, but I warn you!---I’m feisty!)

Yeah, nobody me! Put em’ up! Untie that other hand from behind your back!

Do you really want to divide the conservative Americans?

Keep it up Rush. ---You’re doing a great job. The Democrats are just loving the fact that you can’t STAND Independents. The more people that don’t vote--the better.

And if America goes down, you certainly did you’re part to help with its final demise.

Nobody Wins when our favorite conservative warrior, loses sight of our founders.


Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Complexing the Gorgeousness of Michio Kaku

Nobody Cares:

“The universe is gorgeous and it did not have to be that way. It could have been random, lifeless, ugly---instead it’s full of rich complexity and diversity”
---Michio Kaku

Yes, Michio Kaku is exactly right. The universe is full of rich complexity and diversity. For instance, look at this Hubble picture. It’s something traveling 11,000mph but no one is exactly sure what it is. Beautiful isn’t it?

So, after listening to him the other night on Coast to Coast, I had to be amused when he blurted out that he thought our planet was on the verge of becoming a Type I civilization (This is his concept of species evolution) based on the fact that…

Why----all over the world you could buy the same designer clothes! Look at that! We’ve evolved as shoppers!

In other words, evidently, when the whole world starts thinking as “one” buying the same clothes, eating the same foods, and living as one...then we will advance to the first stage of true evolution!

And this is a guy who sits around and observes the diverse and beautiful universe?

What happened to diversity and complexity? Where would we be without Lady GA-GA and Elton John? Don’t we NEED complexity and diversity to evolve?

I’m just saying.

On a DNA genetic level, I think even he might agree. Without diversity, you can’t evolve into anything worth a worm hole.

This is the problem with genius. Tom Edison just couldn’t get over the fact that his cylinder records were inferior to the other companies who were making improvements. His son just couldn’t get it through his poor dad’s head, even though their competition proved him wrong, and put him out of the record playing business.

I think we can forgive him.

Columbus, till the day he died, insisted that he had discovered India.

Also, I’d say let’s cut him some slack.

And Michio Kaku, who believes in global warming, and actually says that there ARE no credible scientists who can refute global warming, is either too busy to read and keep up on the latest new facts…OR, he doesn’t have the time to worry about such nonsense.

He said those damning e-mails were just…well, didn’t prove much. The North Pole will still melt he says. Well, frankly, that’s not exactly a scientific fact yet. Just as much as it isn’t a fact that the greed of man can be overcome…which is what you would need in a one-world-fits-all Type One civilization.

I guess when you’re trying to explain the whole universe with just one equation you don’t sweat the small stuff…but he should.

In all matters mathematical, Mr. Kaku is one of a kind. When it comes to explaining string theory, 11 dimensions, there is no one like him. Most of us love his story of how when he was little he used to imagine visions of fish in a pond looking up and not seeing the beautiful world above them.

I certainly hope that the other America is doing much better than this one in that parallel universe right above our heads, and that Joe Biden is just a football coach there.

But even if I think that he might want to think about accepting diversity and complexity when it comes to “human beings,” what is just so adoring about Machio is that what he loves about the universe is what can be said is just so lovable about him. He has fantastic creativity, imagination, and is very full of rich complexity and diversity of all thoughts…and that’s what makes him so gorgeous.

And I for one, am very glad he can buy the Ralph Lauren Loafers he loves, anywhere in the world. I want him to be comfortable while he keeps on imagining his hope for a one answer to everything in the universe.

Maybe then, he can beam us all up. I’ll even wear a universal Star Trek Uniform for the occasion.


Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Nobody Knows How They Manage to Spend It All

Nobody Knows:
I like to keep up with the really, really rich, especially while the news at the moment is that our President Obamarama is trying to spend as much money as he can before someone actually says: "'Uh, Mr. President, you cannot take off in Air Force One. We have no more gas."
Now, remember while you think about these wonderful places and "toys" ...We protected these Kings with our military and lives, and also fund their very expensive tastes for the good life.
And so, one wonders, just WHO did they thank?
And.... with what? Nobody Knows.
And if oil brings such lovely gifts, why is it that WE do not dig for oil again? Muslims, for all their complains about our decadent lifestyle, sure do love to engage in our love for expensive "toys."
They love capitalism, I'd say.
At the top, we have a newly, designed by Gary Player, Abu Dhabis Saadiyat Beach Club...which will be no doubt the most expensive golf course in the world, due to be finished by 2013.
Yes, build a perfect course on sand. And why not?
Next, we see some rich Kings in silly skirts walking around their brand new "race"track" which holds the biggest "international" world cup horse race in the world. It even has a special canal built for the guy who built this huge race track playground, so that he can ride his luxury boat, from his house right up to his special box, and miss all the traffic.
On the bottom we have the Koenigsegs Trevita, which is the most expensive care in the world, at $2.21 million. There were only three made, and I'll bet you my entire collection of Happy Meal Toys, which INCLUDES a complete set of The Incredibles, that at least TWO of those Trevita's is owned by a Saudi King.
Is it any wonder the Bush's loved the Saudi's? Is it any wonder that Bill Clinton gave the orders NOT to kill bin Laden when he was with all his Saudi Prince friends, while they were hawking?
Is it any wonder America looks like a third world country next to these guys and they will only get richer, because they don't CARE about global warming!
Nope, none whatsoever.


Monday, February 01, 2010

Nobody's Perfect: Rip Torn

Nobody's Perfect: Rip Torn, everyone's favorite actor boss, was found this week, breaking into a bank with a loaded gun.
This is his mug shot.
He was also found intoxicated, at the scene, but, when asked why he broke into the bank, he said that he was still working as the head of the interplanetary organization for monitoring aliens, when he was on his way home when he saw this couple walk into a bank.
The bank was closed, so he suspected a crime in progress.
He was actually trying to catch this alien who had abducted this beautiful woman and who was taking her to the bank to obviously try to empty out her account.
By the time the cops got there, the alien had already gotten away on his intergalactic space vehicle, and Rip Torn was found having a drink in the lobby, because he was quite upset that another alien had away.
Okay...Nobody Makes This Stuff up, but there is one thing that I can't make up.
In real life, that lovely lady is actually that alien's wife, and by the look on Thorn's face, he can't believe it either.
I for one am really sorry that he didn't catch that alein.
Maybe next time, Elmore.


Sunday, January 31, 2010

Don't You Wish YOU Had a Daddy Bush?

Nobody's Opinion:
There is good news: and there is bad news: The bad news first...
We all heard that Daddy Bush has been very not-so-silently campaigning for his son Jeb Bush to become President, in 2012.
As a family, they are very likable, but really...come on. Enough is enough.
Of course, he will have to become Senator of Florida first, says Dad...and then he can go on to the White House, says the old guy,
How sweet of them to "ask" us.
You see, they are all such great "noble public servants."
They keep visiting Mr. Obama and saying sweet, lovely things about him, so I guess Mr. Obama has some say in the nice for him because...we sure don't.
I found this poster the Democratic Underground site, and I must say, I agree 100% with it. I don't care if Jeb is the best Presidential candidate since Eisenhower ...geez, we just got rid of the Kennedys, for God's sake.
Two Bushes was enough, and if we are going to put in another one, then what's the point of voting at all? The liberals and Democrats hate them, and the Independents would stay home.
And if Jeb got 'voted' in, who would believe it?
Really...what's the point?
We might as well be Cuba.
As I was listening to predictions about Obama serving another four years the other night on Coast to Coast, I just could not believe my ears. Obama's popularity numbers are even lower than Bush W. was at the end of his term, so how in the world would he get in, short of WWIII?
Which, if you were paying attention over the weekend is going to be started on Feb. 11, by Iran.
But then, as the guy kept talking, he said a very significant fact. Before the next election, they will legalize millions of Mexicans, and that's not counting the millions that are getting in each day, and Obama will give them (as the Bushes did and also would) free everything.
Of course he will be relected, unless Jeb runs, and then Jeb does speak better Spanish.
In any case, the global ball keeps rolling.
Now, count the thousands of Haitians coming over and getting instant work, and, with one flick of a pen, Obama would be reelected. The English speaking struggling Americans, will be just a flicker, already being encouraged by even the Pundits on Fox News to move over and let the younger kids get into those jobs.
Yes, Fox news.
Net international migration is expected to add one person every 37 seconds to the U.S. population in January 2010, resulting in an increase in total U.S. population of one person every 14 seconds.
In other words, the country will be, like they predicted, turning into mostly Spanish speaking people. And we will also continue to bring in a high population of Muslims, and whoever else they can cram in.
Jeb Bush is married to a Spanish speaking women, and speaks it himself. By that time, he will be the perfect candidate. So, it seem that the plan is for Obama to serve eight years, and then Jeb Bush will be ready to step in. Daddy Bush has announced it. This is not a tea party conspiracy, they are just getting us ready for it.
BUT...if we are attacked, as Iran says we will be, then Jeb might step in sooner, and Obama go up into the United Nations as the new, and forever more...Global leader.
Did you also hear that Obama is going to give the Internet to the world?
So, what's the good news you say?
So far, they haven't outlawed beer. Give em time.