Saturday, June 27, 2009

Nobody Flashes: Bubbles, I-Pods, and Mel Gibson

Nobody Flashes:
Tell me Michelle Obama doesn't have one of these.
I will admit, I'm the last person on earth to get an I-Pod. Even my older brother has one, and he grew up with Elvis.
But...this might just do it for me. With the right software ($6,500) you can turn on your bath, choose the exact temperature, the depth, how many bubbles you want...all by using your I-Pod...
Now, that's something worth spending the money for, I say.
Apple needs to work on getting Mel Gibson into that tub for 3-D, with a glass of wine, and some really good jokes, and lies...and a nice long...backrub...
Hey...get your own fantasy, and have a great Sunday.


Friday, June 26, 2009

Nobody Muses Coincidences On a Hot Summer's Night

Nobody’s Fool: Tonight I waited, and waited…for any news on the outcome of the House’s vote on “energy.”

Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity had been especially vigilant all week in calling out the alarm to the people of the United States to stop the most greediest and malevolent bunch of thieving criminals in the annals of our history from grabbing too much power and money for themselves.

And then, Michael Jackson died.

How convenient for them.

You know, I don’t care. There is so many billions and trillions of dollars at stake here, I’m going to say it, and I don’t give a hoot what anyone else thinks:

Nothing in politics is a co-incident. Even FDR said that.

It’s hot out here in no man’s land, and we are not all fools.

Like many Americans, I called politicians. I sent e-mails. And I bet MORE than half of Americans contacted their “representatives” in hopes that they could stop it.

Who are we kidding? These people have so much power that they can literally do anything…will we never learn?

When Obama fired the head of General Motors, we should have known right there. They are all, as P.J. O’Rourke says, “Parliamentarian Whores,” and they represent only the rich.

Which in case you forget---includes them.

I remember the night that JFK Jr.’s plane went down. Right after the news broke, there were at least three witnesses that said they heard rockets shots---one even witnessed it.

You didn’t hear it anymore after that first hour. It would have been so easy to “arrange” an accident. After all…over 60 people who had worked for the Clintons’ had died by “accidents.” And Hillary wanted the New York Senate seat. JFK would have beaten her--- no contest.

I cried a lot that night. I believed with all my heart and soul that the moment was waited for, and the “accident” arranged. JFK was just a little too popular with the American people.

I thought that Princess Diana had an “accident” too. In the first minutes of reporting eye witnesses saw a car race off…and we waited for “hours” for anyone to come to the scene.


Many of the people of the world, deep down, believed she was killed, but, you could not accuse the rich and powerful, just couldn’t.

And so, Michael Jackson has a doctor who shoots him up, and it kills him--then the doctor disappears? Doesn’t even go to the hospital with him? Right on the very cusp of our Congress passing the biggest global warming tax in the history of the world?


Sorry. I don’t buy it.

Tonight, you couldn’t find the news on whether the bill had passed or not. Not anywhere. I had to go on Drudge to find out. Not even FOX. No--- the world was mourning a pop star---one that might even have been a child molester.

So, how will they manipulate the masses to accept Universal Health Care?

I’ll give you one good guess--old Ted Kennedy will die at JUST the right time.

Every politicians will be saying that we should pass it for his legacy…it was his “baby” He gave his whole life to the cause, and we owe it to him. They are planning the propaganda packages now.

They are SOOOOO good at this stuff. Makes you glad you’re a nobody…

So, what do I do when I’m disgusted, like tonight? I conned my husband into going to Diary Queen.

And this was sad.

As we pulled out of the driveway, we noticed that our neighbors across the street were moving in beds, furniture, clothes…which meant, that one of their sons (it’s a retired couple) had lost his job, and house, and needed to move home. They were doing it in the wee hours of the night to save face. They are decent and proud people.

That house is barely big enough for two. Now there will be nine. They are ashamed, I’m sure. Proud people don’t like pity.

And tonight my husband, in order to cut some more corners, suggested I stop feeding the birds outside.

Hey…I’ll go without a lot before that happens.

At bedtime, I was more than ready to let it all go...the emotions of the day.

I let the dogs out, and they started barking, and doing circles. I went out in the back yard to see what the dogs were barking at and heard a cute little “yelp!” And up in my closest tree, were three of the cutest little baby raccoons you ever saw, in their new home.

So…let the rest of the world mourn Michael Jackson…I now have three more mouths to feed…
I'm just glad they're not Michael Jackson's.


Thursday, June 25, 2009

Jackson, Fawcett..American Dreamers

Nobody's Feeling too well today.
Two great American icons... gone.
Michael Jackson made us all sing and dance...Farrah Fawcett gave us our own updated Marilyn.
There is so much to be said about both of them, the hours we all spent admiring them...trying to imitate them...
In the end, it's best to remember the good that they gave. They dared to dream the American dream...and oh, what grand dreams they gave us all.
It's almost uncanny that they should die on the same day...these two beautiful stars.
And I think it would be wise to remember them at their very their prime. The rest can be saved for the least that's what I'm going to do.
Oh...and let's not forget that due to the American dream of a Thomas Edison... they are only a I-Pod or video away, and can be with us...always.
Thanks to the American dream, our lives have forever been enriched by great people who pursued it...


Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Nobody Suggests That Stimulus Package Contain Blow-Up Companions For Politicians

Nobody Wins: Today we wake up to find...(sigh) another “politician (Gov. Mark Sanford) found messing around with some hot young chick while the wife that devoted her life making him a success, gets the sham” scandal.

We are going to be hearing about this nonsense for days.

So, which party bombed this guy? Who made the phone call? The Democrats?

Obama’s “Don’t worry, be happy because I’ve invited all the Iranian ambassadors to all the tea parties we will be throwing all over the world,” foreign policy did not exactly go as planned. Something had to take up some news time to get the criticism of him off the front page.

Why not release this story at the proper time and get the most out of it? Its good timing.

God forbid anyone pay attention to Universal Health Care, Immigration “reform” or that draconian energy bill that will kill thousands of Americans because they won’t be able to afford to heat or cool their homes anymore.

But then, that might not matter because they will be starving due to the inflationary price of food.

I mean, why should we want to hear about North Korea threatening to annihilate us when we can sit around imagining our vicarious vacation in Argentina? Why should we care about Iranians getting killed on the street? A Republican is having SEX!

Obama is telling us that the Republic of Iran was just going to have to work itself out…God forbid any more women step out of a car and get shot. After all, that happens in Obama’s hometown of Chicago just about every summer night, and he is really sad about that fact.

It’s not right, this random shooting of people stepping out of cars.

And now that Governor Stanford has his steamy, sexy, “e-mails” blasted for the entire world to see in print--- you have to wonder…maybe it wasn’t the Democrats that got onto this story, maybe it was the Republicans. Best to get rid of all competition for the White House early, especially a good-looking threat from a Southern State.

I’m waiting for the nude photos of Sarah Palin to surface just about a year from now.

No, we expect this stuff. It’s almost become as entertaining as wondering if Brad is going to get back with Jennifer…or if Brad will come out of the closet anytime soon, or if Brad Pitt will be found getting drunk with some wino in New Orleans and crash his car into one of those new "green" houses that he loves so much.

But, what really is annoying this nobody is all this analyzing being done. I just wish they’d keep the psychiatrists out of it.

Sorry, most of them are full of it. I’m NOT a big fan of psychiatrists.

Neil Cavuto had a psychiatrist on his economic show today. What was depressing was that the psychiatrist was on a big pity men rant---men who are trying SOOOOOO hard to stay with their wives, my god it’s hard, marriage--that is.

After all, the passion goes away, and what’s a man to do?

It’s just too hard, he says. Men, as we all know, can’t help themselves.

Hey, neither can my dogs…they are neutered but that doesn’t stop them from trying to impregnate their stuff dolls. I often take pictures, it’s so funny. They get so caught up in the desire they often hit their heads on the floor.

That doesn't stop them from continuing, they just keep going, damaging puppy brain cells.

What also bothered me is that this doctor barely mentioned just how much this Governor had hurt his kids. Don’t you think that now and forever more they will remember that Dad left them alone on Father’s Day to go to Argentina to bury his head in the ….sand?

He was really there for them, wasn’t he?

Well the good news is: any governor that can be so distracted by a pair of mammary glands that he leaves his job and takes off for some sex and sun, when North Korea is threatening to kill us all, along with just about a billion jihadists…needs to quit the “public service” business.

Maybe that stimulus package should supply all politicians with their own blow-up dolls. After all, dolls work pretty well for my dogs.

Then maybe we could get back to real issues.

Nobody wins when sex scandals take our eyes off the balls..(good lord, did I really say that?)

No, I did NOT say that...


Monday, June 22, 2009

Einstein---Gesturing Humanity

Nobody Knows--that this is probably the most famous picture of Einstein ever taken, and it was just actioned for $74,330 dollars.
Well, not many people know. We're too busy waiting for North Korea to nuke Hawaii, Iran to gas it's people, Goldman Sachs to lose money, Congress to disappear for good, everyone who is not a politician to lose their jobs, gas prices to go up again, and Obama to try a few hot-dogs, with ketchup on July the 4th, so that we won't "tea-party."
Oh, some of us wish Paris Hilton would come back from Dubai. I said: SOME of us.
I have this same picture up on a bedroom wall, and I bet my $9.99 poster looks about as good as the original...I certainly wouldn't have been stupid enough to pay that much for a print, unless of course, there were copyrights.
The copyrights have probably expired by now, but you never know. When Mickey Mouse's copyright expired, the Patent Office just extended it for all eternity. It pays to be somebody, as any nobody will tell you.
Did you know that this was taken at a birthday party, which was being held for him at Princeton? I didn't, until just a few minutes ago.
Wonders never cease. I thought he was making a face after meeting FDR, or Charlie Chaplin. Or maybe he just heard he was going to be a papa from one of his many "girlfriends." I like to imagine that he suffered from insanity like most highly creative people.
Or maybe he was thinking..."What! There IS not big bang? There are fifty dimensions?! "
But, let the man speak for himself---Einstein, reportedly ordered five copies for himself, and then sent one to a good friend with this quotation on the back:
"This gesture you will like, because it is aimed at all humanity."
So, Einstein didn't think much of "humanity?"
Can you blame him?
I wonder what kind of faces he would be making now?


Sunday, June 21, 2009

Nobody's Perfect: Jimmy Carter, Where Are You?

Nobody's Perfect:
Okay, the good news is the tea parties in Iran are being blasted around the world, despite the ban on CNN reporters...
And many think the bad news is that Obama is not doing enough to support the "people" of Iran.
So...why is he not, sending in the best, the most talented, the overestimated 800-year-old ace-in every liberals hole?--That lovable peanut farmer, turned nuclear physicist, turned President, turned traitor...Jimmy Carter?
Nobody's Perfect.
The man who loves to assure every dictator in the world that he did in fact: win his fraudulent elections, and thank you very much for that big check sent to the many Jimmy Carter's "election" offices around the world. Granting blessings on dictatorships is a thriving business, and the book deals are nice too.
If you are a more than an unworthy character, then Jimmy can really clean up that image. Just send that check.
After all, look how many years he has gotten by with the, "I'm just a good-old-boy" who lusts, and talks, and travels, and collects checks spreading "democracy" the world over.
Our own home-grown potato head....
So when, I ask you, WHEN is Obama going to bring him out?
Maybe this will be the ONE time he won't take credit. Maybe Khomeini might just not let old Jimmy leave, the country. Khomeini will not desert his buddy, Ahmahinajad, because they are on the same path.
Consider what he has said;
"We do not worship Iran. We worship Allah. For patriotism is another name for paganism. I say let this land (Iran) burn. I say let this land go up in smoke, provided Islam emerges triumphant in the rest of the world." ---Ayatollah Khomeini
Spoken like a true idiot.
So, is it any wonder so many people are in the streets? How would we feel if Obama said something to that order?
And will Jimmy Carter be BRAVE enough to saunter into this mess? Does he really think that Khomeini will fork out the money for the stamp of "approval?"
Or does Obama want to take all the credit, for "peace"?
The question is, all you paganists: Where, oh where is Jimmy?
Jimmy...Iran is calling yoooooooouu!
Go ahead...make our day Mr. Carter..verify the Iranian elections results.
The People are waiting.
(Cartoon and quote from "My vast right wing conspiracy" blog.)