Saturday, November 21, 2009

Nobody Has E-Mail: Will they Tax Tatoos?

Nobody Gets E-Mail:
It's Saturday night! And of course, upon hearing that our Senate was going to pass the biggest TAX hike in the history of the world with its "Universal Health Care" package, on a weekend before Thanksgiving when everyone is just too busy to pay attention---(so they passed it)--- I thought this fit nicely.
Lenny and Squiggy realized that if they could tax botox, they will tax tatoos. In fact, just about anything that breathes will be taxed.
So, tonight, they went out and got the works.
If YOU didn't get this e-mail then you missed it.
Anyway, here's some thoughts from me...feel free to make up your own.
Number one: Would anyone in their right minds even KISS
these guys?
Number two: Can he pull those knives out and cut his pork chops?
Number three: "Are those just bumps on your head, or are you just
glad to see me?"
Number four: What happens with cell phone reception?
Number five: Do you think you deserve "free" mental health care?
and do you think I should pay for it? Is THAT the plan?
Number six: Do you plan to call your congressmen and tell them you
have found their missing children?
Number seven: If I say that "you're really ugly" will I be arrested for
a hate crime?
Number eight: Have recent news events got you down too?
Number nine: Can you drink and drive without being pulled over?
And if you get in a car accident, will your nose be cut
off? Or are those knives to get you out of your
And Number ten: On behalf of all American Citizens,
would you give the Speaker of the
House, Nancy Pelosi, a visit on our
behalf? Say around...midnight?
Hey, everyone have a nice weekend!
Wait, one more: Can I fry an egg in your earlobe?
Does your neck have real teeth? (somebody stop me!)
Did it dawn on you...that plaid is just not your color?


Friday, November 20, 2009

Sarah Jumps on Oprah's Couch! VICTORY!

Nobody’s Fool:

Poor, poor Oprah.

The richest women in America bet the farm on Obama and his shining star, and it’s cost her. When Obama’s real intentions and motives on the “change” that he envisioned for America, exposed him as the Marxist, racist that he is---and his crimes were exposed by Glenn Beck, who is on at the same time as Oprah, her viewership plummeted faster than Mr. Dole’s lost Viagra. (Let’s add that Bob Dole really didn’t need Viagra. I can’t see him getting off any couch, can you?)

Yet, while everyone is making fun of Glenn Beck’s weight (which by the way looks pretty normal to me) NOBODY has said a word about MS Oprah’s head shots. The camera never goes off her pompom hairdo.

I don’t blame them.

Now she says, she is just going to pick up her vast fortunes, quit her show, and move out of the coldest place on the earth.

You go girl!

She was very snotty the other day, talking about her retirement. Saying that weeeeell, she was just not into the daily grind anymore of the show, especially when she HAD to interview people she didn’t want to interview. “God, do I have to do that boring person?”

Obviously referring to the very successful interview of Sarah Palin…but…


Oprah? I thought the whole station: the show, the content, the format, the money, the company, was controlled by YOU? You are the boss; you can choose who you interview or who you don’t---right? Either it’s a lie, and you’re PR is just a Disney tale in Goofy land--and it’s really NOT you holding the strings, or you’re just trying to butter up your feminist base---which is it?

The other richest woman in the United States, Martha Stewart, went even further to express her “hatred” of the new girl in town. She called Sarah, “dangerous” and did NOT hide her very condescending opinion of her.

What? Is Martha scared Sarah is going to send Martha back to jail?

Well, gee Martha. I don’t like you trying to cover the planet in pastels, either, but I don’t go around calling you prison-rat bait, do I? Go into any K-Mart and you see the most “boring” crap ever made on the planet. It’s pretty much like looking at baby food. You know---mush. Martha has tortured us quite enough with egg-shell, blue-green everything. You feel like you're walking through some giant Easter-basket, with marshmallow shoes.

I bet she's helping to design the health-care package as we sleep. In every hospital there will be a "get well" drinking cup in puke green, at taxpayers expense. (sorry)

I suggest Martha Stewart styles in every jihadist jail cell, but that’s me.

Anyway, Oprah is the only Diva in the world who can make a major scandal out of---wait for it----wait for it----are you ready…?

A man in love!!

When Tom Cruise announced that he was so in love that he jumped on Oprah’s couch with happiness, Oprah’s mouth was stretched as wide as a hippo yawing in her mud hole. She was so appalled at the very action! How horrible! A man in love!

She is now losing it. She had a porn star on after Sarah, for ratings, or to insult Sarah, who knows? Oprah and the porn star fit together like Chocolate cake and Vanilla ice-cream. (Hey, it’s late.) Porn…good. Love? Bad.

No wonder she doesn’t have any kids.

She also couldn’t believe the mind-blowing concept that Sarah Palin---just won’t admit what books she likes to read. And made it the headline of the day around the world!

If I was Sarah I would have said, “Well I didn’t read about the author you endorsed…the one who killed three people, while making a fortune off them, and, fled the country? Have I got that right Oprah? Gee, I missed that one.”

Okay, I can say it, Sarah can’t. But I bet she was thinking it.

Oprah’s false “face” of sweetness though, stooped to new lows when she viciously asked, “Will he (Levi) be invited to Thanksgiving dinner?” (Meaning the boy who got her daughter pregnant and now has deserted his family and is posing for Playgirl.) Yeah, Oprah cares so MUCH for the children….right. Sure.

When she asked that question I wanted to pluck out her eyebrows and pin them to her chubby cheeks.

Sarah did NOT fall for that mean trap. She said not a word against him. She was…invincible.

Oprah now sees the danger coming for Obama in 2012, and since NOBODY is watching her anymore, she will get on another cable program, probably in prime time, so that she can promote the global agenda, once again, and help Obama win another election--or so she thinks.

But, getting back to Sarah Palin. She is Nobody’s Fool. And the snobs on the Hills of our Wall Street/government complex see an enemy of the biggest kind…a woman who actually has LIVED the life of the common man and woman.

She is not from Harvard. She is not from a Royal Clinton/Bush/ family. So far, she has shown remarkable common sense, and she will represent “the people,” and she said so.

So, while our powerful elite thugs are trying desperately to shape the world into their one world government/multinational corporation communistic FUBAR future, by building schools to train future global unelected dictators as fast as they can--- Sarah could slash their dreams with one stroke of her very pretty, hockey mom, lipstick.

And wouldn’t that be a sweet victory? You bet.


Thursday, November 19, 2009

Best Quote of the Year

Nobody Wins:
"I just love the smell of communism in the morning."
(Nobody makes this stuff up.)


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Who Wins in the Shorts Contest?

Nobody Cares: Wow...everyone is attacking Sarah Palin right and left...and the biggest complaint is that she dared to wear shorts in posing for this picture...and because she did this horrible thing, then she is obviously simply UNFIT to be President. All the liberal bitches are bitchin', cause of one reason...jealousy. (and fear)

That's a picture of a REAL American woman...Take a good look you liberals!

Gee....mmmm.....can you say...hypocrites?

Remember Kerry's famous tight jump suits shots on the beach? How about all the "Obama being sexy in swimsuit" shots? No one said that Obama couldn't be President because he was trying to get the "sex" vote. Noooooo, everyone just loved the macho shots! He was making woman swoon with his pecks!

And also, they can't stop talking about the BIG deal being put out, that John McCain bought her clothes for the campaign, and how that was such a breach of the taxpayer's money! Well, let's just say...Michelle Obama has 27 people making her look good every day---buying her outfits, and their salaries alone would probably save Detroit.
Frankly, I think the American taxpayer is getting ripped off with Michelle's outfits. That's a K-Mart special if I ever saw one.

Not to mention, when was the last time any of our politicians didn't look like he had on at least a $4,000 suit? And, guess who pays for them? You think THEY pay for their own clothes?
They are suppose to...but, do we actually see the receipts? Nope.

No, nobody seems to care about hypocrisy anymore, and so, I've decided to include this marvelous picture of Barney Frank. I really don't think he should be allowed to wear nail polish,...really, its un-befitting a United States Senator.

And I can guarantee, he charged that hat to "committee" expenses.


Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Nobody Knows How to Speculate

Nobody Knows: I was reading today, while waiting in my doctor’s office, about John Maynard Keynes. A man I had never even heard of before last year, unless I was watching some money-market program with the usual financial pundit, who would be trying to explain…just why President Bush had to come and save the world…

From the speculators.

You see, Keynes was the man, right around the end of the First World War, who preached that the gold standard (you know, all money being backed by gold) was not only an unsustainable concept, but he also thought it all rather silly. It was a novel idea back then, but now, as I understand it, almost all the money floating around is NOT backed up by gold. None of it is real…until the Fed says you owe them.

They…press a button, and you owe them. They just take it out of your paycheck. Never mind that Sam Adams believed that no taxes should be imposed on a people without their consent.

It’s just…oh…so…easy!

Forgive me…I rationalized that I’m better than Judge Judy at math, but this whole notion of playing around with money that is just in thin air, and speculating on what the value of the dollar is going to be at any certain time in space, is much like our local weathermen guessing about the weather five years from now.

And while it was the speculators that caused this world depression…and some of them “lost,” most of them came out much richer from the fall.

Why? Because the government let the poor Joe Plumbers pick up the tab of those that were greedy and goofing around and just…“lost.”

Yes, a handful of men, have made billions, just from speculating. When Michael Moore says that 1% of the population is worth as much as the sum total of the other 95%, he tells the truth. Some men are worth more than many countries.

So-- I was surprised to find out that…Keynes (Who is considered the Holy Moses by many who understand the whole market thing.) made his fortune as a currency speculator!

You see, before 1914, currencies had been fixed, and opportunities to profit from the instability of exchange had been almost nonexistent. But AFTER the war it became possible to make large returns (or lose large amounts) by betting on the directions of the currencies moving up or down.

That’s how Soros makes his billions, it is said he broke the bank of England, and likes to destroy countries that way… does he sleep at night?

What do you think?

Anyway, Keynes did well on his first speculation; he bought the currencies of the countries that had sat out the war. He bet on the Norwegian and the Dutch kroner, the U.S. dollar and the Indian rupee. In the first three months he made $30,000. Then, he tried again and quickly made another $80,000.

But then, he lost all of it in four weeks…and went bankrupt, and guessed who bailed him out? His father.

I mention this only because, our father, China, threatened Obama today. He was told that if he passes his Health Care Reform, then China might be forced to cut off all those lucrative markets to the automobile companies.

(Maybe all those Daddy Bush years in China are paying off.)

Which brings me to my point: It doesn’t seem to matter what system of government you have now…the greedy and the powerful always manage to find a way to enrich them and their families, and the millions below them, become their slaves.

The communism of China now trumps the United States in making money because, they can get slave labor, and we can’t compete with slave labor. So, the “speculators” have betted against the United States, (simply because slave labor is MUCH cheaper!) and unless we get on board with slave labor here, we will not be able to compete with China.

And when you have a government that works for the rich, then America, to them, is just plain “so, who cares?” Our multinational companies are out for the world!

It’s the market baby!

Someday, when people get really tired of it, someone is going to figure out a system, where the rich and greedy, cannot keep grabbing the spoils for themselves. Our Constitution is worthless, if none of the men have to abide by it. Our founders all said it would take educated citizens, and honorable men to keep the republic, neither of which we have at this point in time. (Some of us are catching up on that education part.)

They just give themselves Czars, and make up hundreds of Departments to get whatever they want, whenever they want…and continue to gather everyone under the government dole.

Anyway, it was just a thought. I wish I knew more about how to lie, cheat, and steal…then I would see more clearly how it was all done.

In the meantime, most of us have no other alternative but to speculate, what in the world is going to happen next?


Nobody's Perfect: Obama's Bending Over

Nobody's Perfect:
Hands down, Obama wins the Nobody's Perfect award of the week, and all he did was bend over!
It's seems so easy for him, being as he is so ashamed of America and all.
While everyone in the United States were outraged at seeing this picture of our President showing such "ignorance" on the job of being President, by using such poor judgement of bowing down to a Japanese Emperor---(I'm sure he was apologizing for America defeating Japan...and mumbling, "I'm so sorry, I was just a kid or I would have prevented it."
The REST of the world was seeing the second picture.
Gee, they complain about Sarah Palin not being sophisticated enough to be President..but can any of us see Sarah Palin bowing to anyone?
We now can add to his many blunders..."President Obama has it backwards. He bows to other nations, but does not bow to the real people he has sworn to serve."
Or maybe it's trying to manage that 71 car motorcade that's getting him so tired he just can't stand up too long.
Congratulations Mr. President! You have broken the record for most Presidential bows to other nations, and thereby made the Nobody's Perfect subject of the week!


Sunday, November 15, 2009

Wally Buffet and Beaver Gates

Nobody’s Opinion:
Wally Buffet and Beaver Gates

Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, the Wally and Beaver Cleaver of good old capitalistic “greed,” (I say that with affection) were on CNBC tonight speaking in front of business school students at Columbia University, in a special called, “Keeping America Great.”

What was the purpose? Basically, Don’t worry; be happy---America survived a depression before. So what if you are living through hell right now? America will come out of it, it always has. (Give or take 50 years)

This was Warren Buffet’s big message.

Well, yes, but that was before we had Universal Health Care, (wait and see) and a hundred ga-zillion dollar deficient, (Wally)---a historical first.

Obviously, these guys know that, but the students don’t.

At least Bill kept his mouth shut. He did admit, if there was a terrorist strike, then, America might not make it…but he said it softly.

It’s no wonder these guys are billionaires. They’ve got that “Aw shucks, you can trust me and what I say!” act down. Warren even admits that to get the big bucks, you must take a communication class as he did, to get it.

When Warren was asked about “greed,” he just shucked it off. There will always be greed, so what? How can you argue with that?
And he thought that Bernanke, and everyone in the government has done just a terrific bang-up job of saving the world. And here in the United States we have the “rule of law.”


Okay, Wally Buffet thinks that our country was not really damaged by the Wall-Street/Gov/ Fed/ power and money grab. He acts as if it’s just pimple on the butt of a baby. No big deal.


Does anyone else remember, besides me, that right before the big meltdown of global finance, Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, pooled their massive fortunes and put them in some kind of “charity trust?” And does anyone else, besides me, wonder if these two men knew what was going to happen?

I mean---how many of those “global economic meetings” were they at? How many “vacation getaways” did these guys attend? How could they NOT know?

Wally Buffet tells you one truth that is a secret of success that was not so secret. Always go for the long term. He has put $34 billion into Burlington North. Why? Because he knows that once the amnesty is passed, our population is going to skyrocket. So moving stuff by trains is the way to go. Fifty years from now, everything will be moved by train, just like it is in China.

The goal is to get everything under control. Obama has announced he wants a big railroad federal system. You don’t have to go to Columbia to see that Wally and the Beav are going into business with Eddie Haskell.

When Bill Gates mentioned we are having a pandemic. I thought, “Come on…he’s a genius, he knows that less people have been killed by this flu than the regular flu. “

Are these men REALLY that ill informed? (Did Bill Gates really go to Harvard?)

In the year 2000, Bill Gates stepped down from his company and devoted all his time to “charity’ work. Did that have anything to do with Bill Clinton and the fact that Janet Reno was trying to break him up? Was there a merger there with a “world government” plan? We’ll help you, if you do THIS?

By the end of the summit, I must admit. Bill Gates at least did well on stepping around the new energy start-ups questions. Most of them won’t make it, he said, and that’s more truth than Warren Buffet spoke the whole night.

In the end, I realized they really didn’t say much of anything besides mutter platitudes and generalities, much like a politician. But what they did bring to the table was optimism---optimism to all those rich kids at Columbia, hoping to be the next Bill Gates.

Can optimism save a country?

Will optimism save your life when you are diagnosed with a cancerous tumor that needs to be operated on, but the waiting list is two years?

Will optimism help you get a job in Detroit tomorrow?

I tell you one thing; I’d feel more optimistic if Warren Buffet had given that 30 billion to helping small business America instead of saving Goldman Sachs, because if America can only exist because of the state of the stock market, then America is already lost.

Maybe Wally should go back to school, take some history courses, and stop hanging around Eddie. As for the Beav…well, he’s just the Beav.

America might be doomed for the next fifty years, but there is no doubt---the Beav and Wally...will survive.
Now, pass the cookies.