Friday, August 25, 2006

The Printers Creed

Nobody’s Opinion; Well, I was beaten, I was defeated…I had insulted people that I had no intention of insulting. I expressed an opinion, from a woman’s point of view, and even a benevolent and fair one I had thought. What to do?

Then I ran into this wise advice in a book today, pretty much by those strange things in life called serendipities. You know--- you are actually not looking for it at all, but the thing you are looking for just falls right in your lap, just like a gift from God. “What are the chances of that?” you say to yourself. Maybe one in a million. It doesn’t matter.

I ran into the words of Ben Franklin, in a book that I was reading called ‘Infamous Scribblers” by Eric Burns. You see Ben was quite a writer, and owned his own paper called the Pennsylvania Gazette. It is know as “The Printer’s Creed” and here it is:

I request all who are angry with me on the Account of printing things they don’t like, calmly to consider these following Particulars.

1. That the Opinions of Men are almost as various as their Faces; an Observation general enough to become a common Proverb, So many Men so many Minds.

2. That the Business of Printing has chiefly to do with Men’s Opinions; most things that are printed tending to promote some, or oppose others.

3. That hence arises the peculiar Unhappiness of that Business, which other Callings are no way liable to; they who follow Printing being scarce able to do any thing in their way of getting a Living, which shall not probably give Offense to some, and perhaps to many; whereas the Smith, the Shoemaker, the Carpenter, or the Man of any Trade, may work indifferently for People of all Persuasions, without offending any of them…

4. That it is unreasonable in any one Man or Set of Men to expect to be pleased with every thing that is printed, as to think that nobody ought to be pleased but themselves…

7. That is it unreasonable to imagine Printers approve of every thing they print, and to censure them on any particular Thing accordingly; since in the way of their Business they print such a variety of Things opposite and contradictory.

8. That if all printers were determined not to print any Thing until they were sure it would offend no Body, there would be very little printed.

10. I have heretofore fallen under the Resentment of Large Bodies of Men, for refusing absolutely to print any of their Party or Personal Reflections. In this Manner I have made my self many Enemies, and the constant Fatigue of denying is almost insupportable. But the Publick being unacquainted with all this, whenever the poor Printer happens either through Ignorance or much Persuasion, to do any thing that is generally thought worthy of Blame, he meets with no more Friendship or Favour on the above Account, than if there were no Merit in’t at all.


Okay, was old Ben was contacting me from the beyond? It doesn’t matter. I have decided to continue, after reading this, to continue posting my opinions, which might or might not be agreeable to many readers. It took the words of a very wise founding father, who taught this very inexperienced writer the truth about writing “opinions.”

Thanks Ben, I needed that.

And at this time when it seems America is on a tightrope of survival…I will continue to post on this site…hoping all persons will realize that everyone, like Ben Franklin so eloquently said, is a product of all their life’s experiences, and we are all just trying to ride it out as best we can.

So ready or not, I’m back.

Nobody’s Perfect; Okay, I’m a female, who has a tendency to ramble on, maybe saying meaningless things, until she finally hits a maybe answer, because that’s how women are wired silly! I love trees, dogs, angel food cake, old Beatle songs, twilight, the smell of gardenias, full moons, late night talk shows about the universe, singing, playing the drums, piano, guitar, and I love to make faces at babies. I’m a real sucker for the original artists of Disney, but also love SCI FI. I am also MUCH too sensitive to criticism, but I strive everyday to make my ancestors proud.

I am very upset that I can’t hold liquor, or else I would certainly drink more.

Nobody Knows; Friends are hard to find. Smart ones are even harder. It wasn’t just Ben Franklin who changed my mind, no he was just a “sign’… the real reason was two very special men, who came to my support…they know who they are. Thanks guys, every girl likes the men in shining armor, and I’m no exception. You're the tops.

Nobody Cares; And hey, I would advise all journalists to go out and read Mr. Burns book. It is about the beginning reporters and writers of our country and just how vicious the newspapers attacked the politicians and England, and how important all the writers were in making the people stand up and defend America and break with England. It was well researched, and like the book, 1776 by David McCullough, one to put on your list. Well.. if you like that sort of stuff.

Camels In Heat Now Have Plan B

Nobody’s Opinion; Okay, what did I miss? A new contraceptive with the very technical name which they hope is easy for you to remember…plan B (what’s plan A?) is now available. Another chemical to put in our bodies, not knowing exactly what the long or short term affects will be…but that’s ok, because if it kills all women in twenty years, it’s not really going to bother anyone.

The goal here is less people.

It is certainly a whole new wonderful step in never again having to worry about the “mistake” with the guy you met at the bar last night, and hey, what was his name? Well, if you can’t remember the name of the guy, you can certainly wake up and remember; “Hey, I need “the morning after pill.” They think woman are all morons.

Don’t you just love it girls?

This brings to mind a visit I had one time at my gynecologist. He was in a very fun mood and asked me if I knew where the diaphragm came from?

Most girls will not remember this. I was asking about it because at the time I was dating a very famous brother called Lee Salk, who told me I should take the pill.

Being as he was an expert (just like his brother) and on New York TV, I took his advice.

After many years, I wanted off. So that’s why the conversation about the diaphragm. It was a rubber thing that you could put jelly in and then try to slide it inside. He made it sound easy…of course; he didn’t have to use it. And to make me feel better he told me its’ history.

He said that the diaphragm was originally developed for camels. Camels, which had to make the long journey in the desert. The Muslims didn’t want the camels getting pregnant.

He also said that the pill had one problem that the doctors were running into again and again, because basically, woman were forgetting to take one or two, and then getting pregnant. So it was decided by the elite men in the medical associations to try the diaphragms with woman. They all agreed the man who thought of this idea was a genius.

I felt like he was saying woman are like camels. Don’t take them on long trips.

Then came the “patch”. I never tried the patch, but I had a girlfriend who was an airline stewardess named Sherry, who wore one for five years on her arm.

She told me she loved it because she stopped having those god awful, why me? How long does this have to go on?.. monthly visits of egg dejection.

She also grew a mustache and developed tumors in her breasts.

Now, maybe she would have had a mustache and tumors (which were benign but removed) without the patch. I don’t know.

I’ve always wondered if the pill and the high rate of breast cancer weren’t somehow connected, but then, that’s me.

And besides abstinence, which was thrown out about the time of the Salem Witch Trails, there was “THE CONDON,” which was the only thing the guy had to use.

It was not something that affected his body, or his chance of strokes and maybe heart disease. It was, like the diaphragm, probably developed as a balloon originally, but some clever guy found out, that it might actually work in a desperate situation.

The trouble is, most men don’t like them. I bet it would be hard to even get a camel to use one.

So around America tonight, there will be a lot of people celebrating…no more rubbers, no more vasectomies, no more birth control pills, no more worry. Science breaks through again, with the help of Hillary Clinton.

Aids has an even greater chance now of spreading through North America, and her husband is already on the case.

More money for the big boys.

And who is going to be using this? The Spanish? The minorities on welfare? The Muslims?

No, my bet it will be the poor white girls who can’t afford to bring up a baby, but is desperate to get a boyfriend, to find love.

And those nasty European Western genes will finally disappear. The less to revolt about the new Mexicana globalization, the better.

I bet some gynecologist is sitting in some office telling some poor Mexican girl who forgot to take her morning after pill…”The diaphragm was first developing for camels on long trips.”

Hopefully the doctor will speak Spanish, or some poor guy will have a heck of a time trying to figure out just how to use it.

What’s the Spanish world for camel?

Nobody’s Perfect; Not all those contraceptives work. Once, I knew a woman who got pregnant when she was not only on the pill, but used a diaphragm AND a condom, AND spermicidal the next day. The companies never wrote her back.

Nobody Knows; John Adams was convinced of America’s inevitable success because of the sheer mathematics of it all He knew the country would multiply in just ten years, and the numbers of Americans would be so big, England could never hold on.

Of course, I’m sure Vicente Fox is telling his wife the very same thing.

Nobody Cares; We now have a new baby elephant at our St. Louis Zoo. There is nothing cuter on this earth, (next to a real baby of course) than a baby elephant. Which makes me wonder if the elephant had been the inspiration for the diaphragm, would it still have been developed? Yeah, I know…who cares.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Clinton Visits Cardinals, Asks for Forgiveness

Missouri, Up On a Tightrope

Nobody’s Opinion: The democratic machine of subterfuge started its Presidential and Congressional launch today, and once again, it seems Missouri is in the mist of it. Yep, the democrats are worried about Missouri once again. We are divided, and have been since the first battle of the Civil war happened near Kansas City, at Carthage, in July, of 1861.

Back then, the southern part of the state, the Democrats, wanted to keep their slaves, the northern part of the state, wanted to end slavery.

Missouri now, since Bill Clinton became left office, has a complete Republican loaded congress and legislature.

Matt Blunt, our governor, and Jim Talent our Senator have been strong conservative voices in Congress. They passed some pro-gun laws. And recently help pass a law to give the people in Missouri more power against the Feds, in that “We were taking over by the globalists” Supreme Court ruling on eminent domain.

The Democrats have picked the auditor Claire McCaskill, another typical Hillary clone to run against Talent for Senator.

But, I guess the polls aren’t doing so well for the Democrats…how can I tell?

Because yesterday, in the St. Louis Post Dispatch, there was a picture of Bill Clinton visiting the St. Louis Cardinals dugout in New York, in a game against the New York Mets. Come on. Bill goes to a baseball game?

Somewhere in New York, I’m sure there was another photo of Bill in the Mets dugout.

Nothing like a two for one.

Then on the NBC nightly news tonight we see Brian Williams broadcasting from St. Louis, the Arch showing behind him just to prove it. The broadcast included a horror story of a mayor here in Valley Park (a suburb) who is enforcing law against illegal immigration. They had a woman roofer whining about how terrible it was that she couldn’t hire them, and a very well fed illegal Mexican woman crying, and saying how much she loved America, and she had lived here for 6 years.

The bias was thicker than a jar of Mayonnaise.

My point being that neither Bill Clinton, nor NBC gives one iota about the show-me state of Missouri. But the two media events within hours of each other are revealing to those here, who have a memory.

In the last two Presidential elections Missouri in 2000, and Ohio in 2004: were the states that everyone was holding their breath on. There was obvious voting fraud in both states.

And despite what you may be hearing on media, the fight between the Democrats and the Republicans are very close due to the fact of how they divide the election zoning…which usually keeps the incumbent in place. So in the few states left to fight for…anything can happen, as it did in the first Bush/Gore election. And it happened here in Missouri.

And in 2000, I wrote this piece that will show, not much has changed.
All I can say is…Matt Blunt, a little advice from a nobody… do NOT take private planes. .

Nobody Knows; RESURRECTION (October 22, 2000)

Last week, two important events transpired within days of each other. The third and final Presidential Bush –Gore Debate, and a plane crash in the back hills of Missouri, resulting in the death of Mel Carnahan, his son Randy, and his aid, Chris Sifford. The first event, every one in the nation got to see. But the second, only the people here in Missouri got the real message of. And that message was and is: resurrection.

Just before these two events, in fact the morning before the fateful crash, two pundits were on C-span discussing the very critical importance of the election of Mel Carnahan in Missouri for the Democrats. They went so far as to predict that Gore’s Presidential run, having taken a nose-dive in the polls in recent weeks, hinged on the success of Carnahan winning over Ashcroft in Missouri.

That night, the first witness to the plane crash made some remarkable observations that were not repeated on your major news stations, like CNN, MSBN, or FOX. He said he witnessed the plane go down, he called 911, but the police were slow to get there. Even more surprising to him was the fact that the FBI got there first. Within the hour over 100 firemen had arrived. We are talking about the boonies folks. And even stranger, was that even though the bodies had not been found, the search was called off after four hours until morning. As if to say, “We know who did it. We know they are dead. Let’s go have breakfast.”

It reminded me of watching the first witnesses to Princess Diana’s accident. They saw a car, a white car, people driving away… or the cannon shots heard by at least two or more witnesses off Martha’s Vineyard the night of the JFK plane crash…or the many people who witness the missile lights striking the fated TWA 800. Catch it first, because you won’t hear them later.

By all accounts, Mel Carnahan seemed to be a nice guy. I’m sure he was deeply loved by his family. Many of his supporters were devastated by the news. My heart and prayers go out to all those that suffer in their loss. There were probably many people in Missouri that didn’t even know he was governor. But what we heard at his the funeral was nothing short of the resurrection of a saint, instead of the honoring of a state public servant.

Every local station carried the funeral for over four hours of coverage. All the local radio stations carried the message. Clinton, Hillary, Gore, Tipper, Ted Kennedy, Air Force One, and Air Force Two, were sure not to miss this…the resurrection of Mel Carnahan. For two hours this funeral was used as a shameless pontificating rally using every Democratic Party politically correct sound bite that you could stomach.

It’s one thing to honor a man; it’s another to use a funeral for the benefit of promoting a major political party desperate of losing its control over the Presidency and more seats in the Congress. One wonders just how much of that crowd was from Washington D.C. The poor locals were put behind the ropes.

Then his daughter Robin Carnahan got up, only to make a very short speech. The speech of a very carefully worded sound-bite that has been used on every station, newspaper, and probably will be written in the Bible of “Successful Sound Bites for the Coming New Millennium.” Her story was about how every morning Dad would light the fireplace before he went to work, and he would turn to her and say endearingly: “Don’t let the fire go out.” To which she replied with the obvious grief and anger she was feeling, “I’m here today to say, Dad, we promise we won’t let the fire go out.”

All I could think of was someone must have told her it was a “Right Wing Conspiracy.”

The funeral’s theme was blatantly clear. Missouri, with the death of Mel Carnahan, was in very deep trouble. It was dooms day for us all. He alone had given us all that we had. We heard about how we must really pray for poor old Missouri if he did not win the election. Never mind that he won’t be here.

We heard how his parents were teachers and how he knew every lake, pond, road, and town in Missouri…when he flew over them.

We heard how much he had done for this state, how much he loved children, and the great job he had done here in education. Strange words I thought because the last time I looked, Missouri is on the bottom of the list in test scores. They are some of the worst in the Nation. But facts are not important at a resurrection.

He also cared about minorities. Well into the afternoon we heard a black minister who poignantly recalled how Dick Gephardt and Mel Carnahan had attended his father’s funeral the pass year. How honored he was that they had attended. A Jewish woman said the last prayer.

Clinton seemed to be a good mood, saying things like “Ol Mel is up there in the sky, laughing and having a good time.” Using his slow southern charm. His mood was light. In stark contrast to the other speeches, which were almost scathing in the undertone. Then at last the tribute to his wife, a set up for how his beloved wife will take over for him. Yes, they saved that for last. It was a very well scripted funeral. Them boys in Hollywood sure earn their money. Vote. And resurrect.

This reminded me of the debate. I don’t know about you, but Al Gore looked just like a used car sales man. Saying, “Come on down, and I’ll get you the better deal, you won’t regret it. “ Or a Pentecostal Holy Rollers minister of long ago delivering the gospel in his traveling tent, preaching the ol’ time salvation to the poor farmers of Missouri, telling them the promise to heaven and resurrection is in the basket, or in Al’s case, you’re every tax dollar. He used every entertainers trick since P.T Barnum. Selling that old elixir of feel-good socialism, sure to drug you enough you’ll never know what hit ya. He even looked like he slicked his hair. He invented the internet, he inspired love story, air brushes, and he can walk on water.

So, with these two events we see the resurrection. The resurrection of none other than, Al Gore, as the savior to the country…with the help of his apostle Mel Carnahan. Governor Carnahan: who helped the blacks, (never mind that the inner city schools are worse than ever) and the unions, (by pouring millions of federal dollars into the teacher union pockets) and the sick, {tobacco settlements went to the lawyers, who promptly turned around and gave it back to the Democratic party) and all the great people of Missouri as he lovingly flew over and over and over the state. The promise of Mel’s' heaven is yours too, if you just shut up and let us tell you what to do. Vote. Resurrect.

Resurrection has been done before.

Hitler resurrected the German people up from the devastation of WWI.
It was easy. He took away the guns, took over the schools and Universities, and controlled the media. The people went willingly.

And now, the resurrection continues…under guise of “democracy.” But don’t let the name fool you. It the resurrection of a shameless, corrupt, fascist, totalitarian, government that means to control your every breath. It doesn’t mean the same as Thomas Jefferson meant. Don’t think Bill named himself William Jefferson for nothing. And don’t think for a minute that his lamenting “term limits” at the funeral was just wishful thinking. It has been bothering him a lot lately,

Remember the obvious planted question at the debate to Gore by a teacher about all us “bad” parents out there? What are you going to do with them, Mr. Gore?

We need to resurrect our brains out of mothballs folks, and take a lesson from another man who was at the first resurrection, and who warned us:
“Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.” 7:15 St. Matthew

The state back then didn’t need to crash a plane. CNN wasn’t around.

The very suspicious and timely demise of a very important key man, caught through no fault of his own, in the struggle for control of the most powerful position on earth, will never even be questioned in America. Historical precedents have been erased from all our history books. To suggest such a thing would be too “politically incorrect” for either party, or for any journalist for that matter. Why, to suggest that someone would be killed for political advantage would be considered treason now, much worse than selling nuclear secrets for election results. You would be sentenced to at least an audit.

Or worse, a resurrection.

Nobody Cares; Well, now in 2006, now Bush is President, and he seems to have implemented all that I thought the Democrats would in 2006, I would have never believed it could get worse, but it did.

But something tells me, Bill Clinton at a Cardinal Game means something, I just don’t know what.

Who knows? It might be the first battle ground again for the next civil war.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

The Dreams of A Pink Floyd

Sweet sweet dreams. The puppy is content, but the cat, if you look closely, might be awake.

No matter...will Joyanna be able to beat her blues? Will she go on to continue to write what she thinks...will her sanity come back?

Is there such a thing as innocence? yes.

Image Hosted by Free image hosting

Just Go To Sleep

Nobody Knows; Well, this has been a terrible day all around. Ever have one of those days? Yeah, we all do. When I was two, I was so bored I decided to go for a walk and end up on a superhighway. When I was five, I got a patch on on one eye for 3 weeks. When I was 12, I fell down stairs on crutches, and no one in the crowd helpeds me get up.

Poor poor pititful me. I'm on a roll.

Well, this was such a bad day, I decided to take a walk, because well, that's what you do when you get upset and you don't want to use a treadmill. Nothing like a walk with your dog, who is of course joyful to met another dog. and pick ups dead squirrels. I just love her.

But then, you meet a neighbor, and somehow she gets on politics, and she starts ranting about that horrible Bush, and the horrible Christians, and the fact that in Missouri, stem cell research is not going to go (to which I explain that it's already being done at Stanford) and then she yellls

YOU ARE ON MY LAWN! my dog should have peed.

But what's worse, is someone called me a Pollyanna, and it wasn't just one, but about fifteen men. and since I love men....and I border on a sensitivity worse than Woody Allen's most pananiod day, I gave up.

But, I will live in this picture of Disney did. As many have before. And tomorrow, I have NO idea if anyone ever reads this site but me...hopefully I will have somethine to say, if only for myself.

But, for now...the innocent of babes....let the Muslims rant, let the fear mount, I refuse to give up hope, babies and puppies rule.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Pollyanna Answers

Image Hosted by Free image hosting Nobody’s Opinion; I was going to write tonight on the subject of how the idiotic feminists should be thinking about how their daughters were going to end up wearing head scarves and not driving cars if they didn’t look around and see the threat of Islam, BUT…

It seems I had a few thoughts on the state of marriage that I wanted to convey to some of the men readers of this site.

Yes, they have suffered greatly from the horrors of various selfish and diabolical women that I suppose have taken over the country.

They are evidently everywhere.

Its funny this forever difference between men and women. The battle between the sexes evidently has gotten worse over the years.

Great minds throughout the centuries have searched for the answer, but there is none. That doesn’t keep a lot of people making money off the problem.

It was probably the real reason law was invented. Some cavemen and woman started fighting…and the rest of the people were sick of it all.

My generation, the baby boomers, have seen the horrible damage of divorce. When the woman entered the work force, and did not have to depend on a man to feed herself, divorce became common.

In fact, everyone knows someone who has been stomped on, chewed out, and left for dead at the local pub.

I’ve known men who worked day and night to buy a home for their loved one, only to see it go to a wife and kids that he never gets to see, and kids that he has no say in rising. She turns the kids against him.

I’ve seen woman, also, struggling to make ends met, with no child support at all, and kids to raise who desperately would love a father, but whose father has already remarried and doesn’t even want to see the kids.

It’s always sad. It’s more than tragic.

I watched my own son, who was about six at the time, sit with his little leather jacket on by the front window, and wait patiently for his father to pick him up. He sat there from nine in the morning until nine at night, always believing that his father would show up, only to receive a phone call at ten pm. To say, “Hey buddy, I’m sorry, I can’t make it. I love ya.”

Do not think this is easy to watch.

And the dating game for both sexes is never easy.

Once when I was single, I was stood up seventeen times in a row for “dates.” Trust me, after that many you really start to think you are the ugliest thing that ever walked the earth. How many guys can say that? Actually, I believe it may be a record.

But, not all men are monsters, and not all women are just out for money.

I truly believe in our hearts, most people would like a true companion, a true love.

That’s my sailor and me on our wedding day. We did not have much money so we got our own cake, and went to a Mexican restaurant to celebrate. We had two friends stand in for us. Both of our parents were against it. He was so much younger so it wouldn’t last they said.

But both of us had suffered horribly with our first marriage. We both SWORE, never, ever again. Never, ever, ever....ha, ha. And then…mother nature took over.

It’s not smart to fight mother nature.

And September 6, we will celebrate our 14th anniversary.

We are older now, we still drive each other crazy, he doesn’t talk much, I of course, talk too much…but, like magnets, we stuck together.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that, if men and woman no longer believe that there is a companion or that one person out there for them, then that is bad news indeed.

Because our country is in trouble now, and the family unit, a man and a woman, is the best way to keep it. If you guys give up on finding someone, then the feminists and the left have already won.

You guys going down with out a fight? Are you going to let the feminists win, looking for a world without men?

That would make an awful lot of Muslims happy.

If you really knew me, I’m the opposite of a Pollyanna. My husband would tell you that. But I sure would love to be one, because that is the best way to go through life, and I strive with great effort to get to that silly optimistic point every day.

It’s one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.

There just might be a decent woman out there guys…if you don’t believe me, listen to a very wise man…

“To believe all men honest would be folly. To believe none so is something worse”
John Quincy Adams.

Hey, even if there is no test, don’t give up hope, guys. (and girls)

Nobody’s Perfect; Now everyone is saying “What? Joyanna? Who do you think you are, Dear Abby?” Shhhhh….it’s the estrogen..

Nobody Knows; Abraham Lincoln said; “A woman is the only thing I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me.”

Nobody Cares; Hey, here’s one you’ll like by Rudyard Kipling…”for the female of the species is more deadly than the male.” This is precisely why Hillary should not be President.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Nobody's Asurdities, No. 11

Image Hosted by Free image hostingNobody’s Opinion; “We interrupt this regularly scheduled program to report that the moon has landed…”

Wait...actually, it’s not the moon, it’s a man (at least for now) named John Karr. He has gotten off the plane, in which all of us thought he should have been handcuffed and dragged in an orange jumpsuit out of the cargo exit, was instead, due to the fact that he is one of those gay men, (which mean potential lawsuits) who had kids like Michael Jackson, to hid the fact that he prefers men, or little girls, or little boys, or maybe he’s bi-sexual…who can’t decide if he wants to be a girl, or a boy, or a hermaphrodite, or just Jon Benet. Actually, this nobody is anxious to know just what the heck he wants to be, besides famous.

Nevertheless, the powers that be thought they’d treat him to lots of alcohol, a fine meal, and kudu’s of “How did you do it, you clever man?”--- trying to get him to brag about how clever he is.

And if he did it, he doesn’t want you to think just how brutally he did this, bashing her head in, choking her with a cavort, and who knows what else…no, she fell on the hammer, the poor girl…drugging her sounded much more sweeter than a stun gun.

One can understand the agents wanting a conviction, but aren’t we going a bit overboard here?

McCain this weekend on Meet the Press, was asked if he was running for President, to which he answered that he didn’t know, but he met a fine pig named Waldo, in Iowa.

I think PETA should get right on this. If they can complain about a dead pig being used in a nude art exhibit, they can certainly save poor Waldo’s reputation from being used as a political ploy by a Republican. (Who’s really a Democrat.) The proof being that he said that Lieberman was a fine man and he would not run against him due to that very fact. Lieberman today said that Rumsfeld should be dismissed, I guess McCain thinks that statement was fine too.

Of course John can say this because the chances of turtle-faced John McCain running against ferret-faced Joe Lieberman in a Presidential election, has about as much a chance of happening as all the pigs in Iowa suddenly talking English and then running to the polls to vote.

Many Americans will vote for the most photogenic candidate next election due to the absolute absurdities in our choices. After all, we have to look at them day after day.


Speaking of pigs, my husband and I went to our local Midwestern gathering of the “last thing to die before Wal-Mart outlaws it,” …the family fair.

You know, it’s part of American’s history. People come from all over and put up hundreds of booths where people try to make a few extra bucks selling their hobbies. Of course the hobbies all resemble do-it-yourself kits from Wal-Mart. You eat lots of hot dogs, drink lots of bottled water, funnel cakes, ice cream, and this year’s sponcer was Pepsi. Which means…if you wanted a Coke, tough.

The highlight was walking past the old farm machines which were dragged out of old destroyed barns, and they actually still work…John Deere…eat your heart out! The old farmers standing next to them, usually with a beer gut which makes them very brave indeed because they are always leaning over these machines to start them up. If asked they will tell you exactly how old the machine is (85,000 years give or take a few) and just what it does, to which of course you nod your head and act like you understand what they are saying, and smile, and say “amazing!” You really want to ask them why they don’t junk the old things, and how does the wife like the smell of gasoline in her kitchen, but you know better. Then the old guys go home fulfilled with their destiny to come the next year and educate the computer nerds who have no clue what life is all about.

I love these guys.

As for pigs? Well, there were no real pigs anywhere, but that doesn’t mean a lot of people weren’t thinking about them.


Now, for some reason this makes me go to the subject of Madonna who has claimed that her religion, Kabala, has a magic potion that will make all the nuclear waste in the world go away. She said, “We are not going to have a planet in 50 years.”

Poor Madonna, all the good deeds are being grabbed. Bill Gates has all the diseases. Bill Clinton has aids. Al Gore has gas... (In more ways than one), she just needed something...

Actually, I think we will have to wait 50 years for her to admit that she is a Jew.


And speaking of ‘causes,” we now find out that the environmentalists at the Montréal Protocol 17 years ago, decided to ban the CFC’s that were destroying the Ozone layer, only to have it replayed with chemicals like hydrochloroflourocarbons (HCFC) and their byproducts, hydro fluorocarbons (HFC) which is causing more damage than if they had
left it alone…and STILL

Do the liberal Nazi’s apologize? No, somehow will be George W. Bush’s fault.

Al Gore will be sure to include this on his CD version of “The Inconvenient Truth” Which will not include the actual inconvenient truth that Al Gore and the liberals really 3@#$% up the ozone, by just being stupid.

Nobody’s Perfect; During the reconstruction of Katrina, it is reported that somebody stole $100,000 worth of construction equipment that was being used to build a memorial to the victims. Add that to the billions lost to FEMA credit cards, and the billions lost to the four contractors hired by the government to clean up the debris (who then turned around and hired sub contractors at 4 to 6 times less than they billed us for) and you got some serious money being lost.

Nobody’s Knows; This same thing happened just last week here in Missouri. Some guys, who had a lawn care business, had their sheds broken into and all their lawn mowers and tools stolen. They had to lay off half their work force.

Also last week, someone reported here that their apple tree and peach tree in their yard was picked clean overnight. This woman was really upset because every year she makes pies to store and jam.

According to a neighbor, a truck pulled up and voila…I suppose this fruit was needed for some poor people on their way to New Jersey.

Anyway, that explains all the tarp being put over highway equipment.

I can’t help but surmise, since this is a new thing, that the Mexicans are finding out it’s better to be your own boss.

As for this nobody, all the Mexican roofers took from me was my beloved pet turtle, George…who really was a female, who had lived with me for 15 years. My hope is that she ended up a pet, instead of a pie.

Nobody Cares: Getting back to the moon, with all this new planet finding going on, and everyone wondering if they should reprint all the science books, they are actually contemplating whether to call the moon a planet.

After the events of the last two years, I don’t think we’d care if they called it the planet NEO, as long as they don’t name it after a politician. Reprinting books is one thing, but rewriting all songs with the word “moon” in it would be just too much for this nobody to bear.