Nobody Gets Email: Victoria, Texas

Nobody Gets Email on Saturday Night.

I got this little slippet of fun last week. It was clipped out of a Victoria, Texas, local paper. The picture was added on my own. I don't know who wrote it, but I'd like to buy him a bottle of his favorite beverage.

Most of us don't get it...the "liberals" and "greenies" are always complaining about saving the planet, but they could care less about all the trash left on the border.

On a lighter note tonight: For whom it may concern...it was a hard day's night today, so when my husband and I walked around the block tonight, we were NOT prepared to see the "Muslim" house lit up! I know, I know. I was lulled, from daily nothings. It's been empty for over two weeks. What kind of watchdog am I? (sigh)

There were three men in the garage, and they had new chairs as if they were waiting for a bunch of people..and it almost LOOKED as if they were playing cards, and boy, did they turn and look at us! Whoa. And hey, this is the first time they have gathered BEFORE an attack...unless of course, there was one, and it was just not reported.

The reason I find this so amusing is:

1. According to my local police, they were probably burning trash in their fireplace last month, when I smelt smoke. (That's actually illegal here, but who am I to question the police?) Besides, there was no smoke coming out that chimney.

2. They said they were not even aware that there were any suspicious Muslims in that house.

3. They told me, "Why don't you move?" (I thought that one was..funny. Hey, why should I move...I happen to LIKE Americans.) Pretty much telling me that "wise up, all Muslims hate you women..." Like, I should not be concerned about that.

And 4....I told them I thought that the big playground in the backyard hasn't been used in over three years because, no one lives there. And guess what? After all these years looking at that thousand dollar jungle gym... the next day after my talk with the police who "didn't know they were there" the playground was removed, although, I certainly didn't see them do it.

Either the Muslims are listening to the police phone calls...or the police know them. Somehow, I find it too much of a coincidence.

Oh yeah, and my local police has a telephone number of 000.000.000.....

Guess he doesn't want me to call him back.

Hey, I have to keep a light hearted approach to this, right? If Muslims have poker nights, and they have to turn on all the house lights to play...I think someone should start getting Americans' use to this novel concept.

Maybe we should ALL have more parties.

Nobody Reports on What a Great Movie, Edge of Darkness, Really Is

Nobody Reports: Here's two guys that should have joined up years ago in a movie....Mel Gibson and Ray Winstone. I just saw "Edge of Darkness" and trust me...it's not just another cop movie...as you are lead to believe by our very wimpy and liberal press.

You know it's got to bug the "elites" of Hollywood, when one actor jut keeps being the people's favorite. While they all are moaning about the uneducated masses, Mel just keeps giving us all what we want out of life, and what we seem to get so little of...justice.

I must admit, when I heard that Mel had a new movie out, I wasn't all excited about it. He has really been getting some bad press with all his personal life mess ups, and that can sour you on wanting to see them perform. More press was being given to the break-up of his new marriage to his Russian wife...you know the one he left his wife for? The one he had a brand new baby girl with? Yes, more press has been given to that than this wonderful new movie.

And when you see the movie, you will KNOW why that is. "They" don't want you to see it. And I think you and I know who "they" are.

But hey, when you watch him in this...you will be like me...saying..."Thank god for Mel Gibson." Who else has the guts?

Once Mel got control of his productions, he was way beyond Hollywood. He bravely put out the work he wanted to (Passion) when they were all against him. And he was right.

I can always watch a Mel Gibson movie...they never age. Unlike some other guy I know named..Woody Allen.

Woody Allen is somewhere crying in some psychiatrists beard because he wants Obama to save him. Go ahead...you tell him.

Mel, knows how to entertain. How many directors COPIED that scene in Braveheart where Mel rode on that black steed, and gave probably the best speech about freedom ever giving in movie history? You know, the pep talk before the battle? How MANY times have you seen some other actor try to outdo that scene, and they just can't.

Okay, I admit: The Patriot, Lethal Weapons...What Women Want...Mel is pure 24-caret. And

this film, is right after my ever-loving conspiracy theory heart. I won't tell you what it is, but I'm glad that he made the film, which evidently was based on a British Television series.

Ray Winstone, was absolutely breathtaking in his performance as a hit man. He has some of the best lines in the film and you won't soon forget them.

So...I won't spoil it for you. go and rent it...tonight is not soon enough. And when you get my favorite scene,...when the bad guys finally get their due...you will want to rewind, and see it again.

I did.

Protecting our Borders, One Mouse Trap at a Time

Nobody Flashes: This just in...

Due to the urgency of the trouble on our southern borders, Janet Napolitano, the Homeland Security Chief, has ordered a new solution.

Two hundred, armed, dangerous, and very highly trained...mouse=traps guards, placed on the borders of Arizona. The training for these lucretive jobs, will start...soon.

Here we see a fine example...of just how this will work much better than any old fence. As we all know, Mexicans LOVE cheese...they put in on their taco's, their burritos, and sometimes, they even smoke it! One finger...and they will be caught!

Good luck to our new border agents...risking their lives to protect our borders! And KUDO's to the Obama administration...for working with Robert Redford on this fine idea.

(Nobody Makes this stuff up because Townhall is down, and I went to the dentist today, and I can't even EAT a piece of cheese. It's about all I can muster.)

SMILE...and BE VERY CANDID!

Nobody Cares: Here's how clever they are:

While the whole world is up-in-arms about the state of Arizona actually demanding that the Federal laws of immigration on the books be used to identify who's in our country illegally... something that is done in every frigging country in the world but OURS..."They" have been slowly and quietly putting cameras into our lives, to the point that, all of a sudden, we HAVE no privacy whatsoever.

SMILE~ and be very candid! Gee...funny how easy it was. In fact, downright amazing.

In England, the camera's are everywhere...except maybe the family toilet... and soon, none of them will even use the toilet without someone in government knowing it and then taxing them for it. Hell, if global government goes through, we will all be measuring our daily trips just to save the water.

But, this takes the cake...London's new 2012 Olympic Mascots.

To get the little children used to cameras and not be scared of them for the future elite world of control...they've invented the perfect little brain-washing Kupie Doll couple! The new mascots for the 2012 Olympic games, will have cute little camera eyes!

Hoooray!

They also say they are going to put these lovable little camera aliens into the schools just to get all children to fall in love with them, and then record each and every cute little face as they are leaning over to say hello. (They will SAY there are no cameras in those little camera eyes, but, do you trust them?)

Creepy.

The control mechanisms of the global elites are getting really sick. Spielberg had it about right in his movie with Tom Cruise, (Minority Report)... about citizens being accused of crimes you haven't even committed yet. Maybe he was trying to tell us something.

Here in the United States, the camera's on our highways have silently gone up, and nobody has told us how all this expensive stuff was paid for, or why the local citizens had no say in the matter. It was treated as if...nobody cared.

Well, nobody asked us what we thought about it, did they?

Our technology, while it is extremely fun, when in the wrong hands can be used as the very tools to crush us. And they are telling us now how they need to control the Internet...yes. It's vital they control...information, isn't it?

Twitter Tweets are now being cataloged by our Library of Congress. How much is that costing?

You don't find that...sick? Invasive? Completely out of control? Overkill? I mean, is it really a national concern what Paris Hilton said about her NBF?

And think about all the information they are gathering about you on your FACEBOOK site. Think of all the face recognition tools they have on anyone who's put up their picture on Youtube? Commit a crime and they will find you anywhere on the planet.

Unless of course, you are bin Laden...

Now we find out that Google, working with god knows who, (Al Gore is on the board of directors, so that should be a clue) has been "silently" gathering billions of private emails, and computer information all over the world, while innocently acting as if they are taking pictures of streets. It's bad enough that anyone can find out where you live now. The technology might be cool, but...like any technology, it can be used against you.

And did they get away with this invasion of the world's privacy? Are you kidding?

Do mountaineers in Southern Poland dance the "Zbojnicki"?

Don't worry, be happy, is Google motto. If you are not doing anything wrong...why complain? It's all harmless. But...was anyone in the WORLD asked if they wanted their house put up online? Barbra Streisand thought it was rude, and I happen to agree with her. There are many people on the planet I really don't want to know what my house looks like, or where I live, and I'm sure many feel just like me.

Once upon a time in America, all of this would have been considered...a crime. If you had a voyeur in your back yard, looking at your windows through a telescope, it would have been considered an invasion of your privacy. But Google, is just too cool. It even has a logo that looks like a kid's toy box.

Like I said: clever.

And now that all our medical records will be online for everyone to see, they have to get started on the next step; the DNA collecting of as many people as they can, which will also be online. Recently, my local grade school had a "National DNA Day Celebration" complete with a 3-D candy model they could eat!

Well, how else are you going to get little Johnny to think DNA is nothing but a sweet? And didn't mommy tell you, sharing sweets with everyone makes you a very good boy?

The global government is slowly, collecting all the data they need on every single citizen to control the world. They need this information...and it's not because they want to try to keep us all alive. They are working out global plans to put us all in their preordained cubby holes.

Mine, I'm sure, will be about six feet under. I'll be next to some guy named RANDY.

And you know what? Nobody Cares.

They will tell us, they are finding the radicals, who are everywhere. Right. The dead from Ft. Hood would agree. And how about that guy in Times Square? Sure.

In the meantime, all the gatherings of the global elites are strictly off limits to the press. They take one big picture, and then...they hide in the Castles with Moats, containing electrical hidden fences, surrounded by troops, and two-hundred man eating dogs, to keep out the curious.

With all the wireless technology, anything you say or text, you might as well assume that it is being collected and dialogues in some big computer in Virginia. And they are so happy...so many billions of the young, are texting...texting...texting...and texting...

And now that everyone has a camera on their phone, step out of line, and you're on the news, or YOUTUBE. If the government doesn't get you, then that guy at the corner will.

Instantly it's a great news story. Well, now it's entertainment...but it's also a very effective tool to deliver social behavior messages with. Spy on your neighbor with. 1984 with.

Meanwhile, I could not even post a picture of my Muslims neighbors on my blog, who I'm suspicious of, anywhere on the Internet or I will go to jail on a "hate" crime. And yet...if a mother teases and bullies a young girl into suicide, she has NOT committed a crime.

I'm trying to save thousands of lives, she just killed an innocent young life....and yet, I would be arrested. What does that tell you?

So my advice to the Arizonians? Have lots of back yard sauerkraut parties.

As for me...I'd say we should all be equals.

My next hat is going to be a bucket, and painted on the top in big white letters will be:

"GO FIND BIN LADEN, AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE."

Pelosi and Fakih...Friends in Fashion

Nobody Knows what message Nancy Pelosi was trying to convey with this photo:

1. She is a devout Catholic going to

Mass, and thought it proper to cover her head, thereby gaining the admiration of millions of religious Catholic women all over the globe, not to mention those of Latino persuasion, thereby helping to pass the new merging of the government with Christian churches all over the planet with the new EPA rules.

2. She is showing her support for the Muslim women of the world, by covering her head and getting us all used to seeing women from Muslim communities working in our neighborhoods. (like the one at my local McDonald's)

3. She is having a bad hair day...or...

4. She knows this photo speaks to both Christian AND Muslim women, (Not to mention Hollywood babes who get tired of having to ALWAYS look perfect) therefore, as a clever politician working all the angles, she can't lose.

As for the very liberated and pole dancing (Arab) Miss USA, Rima Fakih, she is just happy to be in Donald Trumps contest, where for the first time in American History, an Arab women can get the chance to appear with Donald Trump in his new hotel/casino project in Dubai, where she can...put on the Burka, WHILE she is pole dancing for the sheiks, and make Donald a whole lot of money.

Nobody knows...if Rima will appear in a Burka anytime soon...but this nobody will be watching for it.

Nobody's Perfect: Holder VS Posner

Nobody's Perfect: This week, all we had to do was look to our Attorney General, Eric Holder, and his buddy at the White House, Human Rights international protector, Michael Posner to find our "imperfections" of the week.

Eric Holden, The man who thinks all Americans are cowards because they won't talk about race, was grilled in front of Congress, and had to admit that he had never read the Arizona law that he thought was basically, complaining about. Which means he thinks the Federal law is wrong, it needs to be changed. Still...most of us would like our officials to at least read the bill...or lie, and say they read it. Jeez... or admit they just never got past DICK AND JANE.

Yes, Eric took up the first half of the week, but Mr. Posner, the guy on the right that looks like the kid you knew in third grade who didn't know HOW to make a spitball...through a pretty good sized spitball at Americans when he agreed with the Chinese that America is not treating the Mexicans immigrants with respect.

And you know what? If you look at this picture, where a poor little innocent Latino child is being abducted by gunpoint...in the middle of the night...in AMERICA... they DO have a point.

Mao would never do such a thing. That is a BOY child.

And so tonight, we ask ourselves...is it safe? Because neither one of these guys are perfect. In fact, I'd say they make even this nobody look sane.

Laura Bush reads...MAO?

Nobody's Opinion: Somewhere...the raaaainnbooooooowww...blue birds...fliiiii...

Somewhere there are "social engineering" conversations going on...where dozens of experts are being paid to deliver just the right message at just the right time to the American people, with just the right images and sound bites.

And I imagine they go something like this:

Expert: Okay, in the middle of May, right before Memorial Day weekend, in order to start getting everyone fired up about how well George W. performed in "protecting the United States" VS Obama NOT protecting the United States, we'll finally have Laura Bush's book come out, and then she'll do the talk shows first, before him. She'll talk about how wonderful he is, and then warm everyone up for George's book. We'll put her on an exclusive interview on FOX, on a weekend when there is a lull in the news. Make sure she looks good. Get that makeup artist...you know that guy...the one who does Sandra and Meryl. And Steph...be sure she's get an interview in the house in Dallas. We need to convince the public that her and George are just happily married and enjoying their days in their new home in Dallas. Put in some of that "They are just now two normal middle Americans, crap."

Steph: How am I going to do that? You know, the National Enquirer put it out for two years that she left him because he was having an affair with Condi Rice? And to make matters worse, she refused to sit with him on any of the public occasions. God, that night at the Washington Press Club party, she was completely at the other end of the room...you think people don't remember that? And then, good god, George looked for a good two years like he was having a nervous break down. All he wanted to do was ride his bike, thinking that he'd get buff again...I hear he's better now, but come on.

Expert: Hey, all you have to say is the National Enquirer is trash. Don't worry about it. Nobody else reported it.

Now, pay attention. She must talk a lot about how she would glance over at George, and how she could tell he was awake and worried about things after 9/11.... And mention how scared they were after 9/11. Tell her to put in something about the bunker, you know...they were once in danger and they didn't want to leave their beds, but the secret agents insisted they go down to the smelly old bunkers...yeah, leave out smelly but make it sound like the bunker is just not as nice as the White House. Let the people feel upset that they COULD lose the President...he is ALWAYS in danger...and how horrible it was for her to be scared.

Steph: Okay..well, what about the background. Should we do a little peek at the house?

Expert: Yeah, put her up in a Library. Put some of her books..a bird book...maybe a big red book on MAO...that would be perfect...make them all think. And definitely, put a picture of George behind her.

Steph: I'm not so sure she will want to sit in front of a picture of her and George...

Expert: Okay...get that one with him and twins right after they were born...that's a great father picture. And here 's what she says: She thinks gay marriage is a "generational thing and it's coming" and that it's GREAT that another woman is going to be on the Supreme Court. She needs to make a case on women...gays and women..there...get Jack to write that up, he the best for that stuff.

Steph: How about she show some pictures in the house? Outsides there really isn't much to look at. No flowers..I really don't think they are there much....it's just a ...

Expert: That's okay, put some pictures on a wall...you know, highlight the Bush legacy. Oh I know...how about she say that George has a "Man Cave" with a big screen TV...where he watches sports...Yeah...get Jeff on that...

Oh, and tell her to say something about Barney...everyone loves Barney.

Steph: Okay, now...how about Michelle?

Expert: This week, Michelle will be promoting the 100,000 hours of community service to a graduation class. She is going to talk about how rough the kids have had it...she understand and feels their pain...(caused by Bush), and how community service will make them feel great.

Steph: I feel like I'm playing bad cop, good cop...

Exert: Come on Step...you know the people are morons...it's up to us to guide them into what's right...so....we might want to through in a few poll more polls this weekend.

Steph; Okay, (sigh) Obama is up?

Expert: Yeah, but not too much.

Steph: How about immigration?

Expert: Well, you know the stuff. The Irish were immigrants and so are the Mexicans...yada, yada...and they shouldn't feel so ...abused and alone. You know Steph...feel lucky you're dealing with Mrs. Bush about all this...she is actually the best of them all, next to Obama..who is getting pretty sloppy lately.

Steph: Anything else?

Expert: Yes, press release that soon, George will be on tour...promoting his book...so that when the "attack" comes...everyone will wish for a Republican.. and Obama will move up to the UN....

Steph: By the way, are you sure I have a place in this new thing coming up?

Expert: Be a good girl, and you'll be baking cookies in Hawaii. Now go...I have to line up next month's agenda. Once the crisis hits...he will be just great....in fact, I'm getting pretty excited about it...

Steph: Can I have the keys to the viper?

Expert: Only if you promise not to pick up Bill again. I need him to go to China tomorrow. That guy is hard to get out of bed.

Steph: Thanks dad....

(Okay, nobody makes this up. Nevertheless, I bet I didn't even come close to the real reality, which might be a good thing. I wouldn't want the classy Laura Bush calling ME a conspiracy nut now would I?)