Friday, January 02, 2009

Recipe for Dogs

Nobody Cares: “Look boy, my sister sends dog recipe.”

Dear Pang Li:

It has been a while since I wrote you…but sometimes I miss you very much, dear brother. Father says they don’t really know where you went. I certainly hope this letter gets to you. He said you volunteered to watch the borders of Mongolia, right after you found your new puppy.

Did I tell you we have been in America now for over twenty years? Chang and I still have the restaurant that we started so long ago. We did very well for many years, but now business has slowed down, and we are having trouble. We even miss the customers that always order the same thing every single time.

Of course that drives Chang nuts. He still cooks and I still have trouble sometimes with the English language, but we can’t complain too much. After all, we now have two lovely girls. Did I tell you that Mai Lee is going to graduate from high school? Pai is now in seventh grade, and they speak American very well. In that respect, America has been good to us.

Do you remember so long ago when Chang and I came to America? We came here because we heard that the old people here were treated so much better than in China, and were taken care of.

Well, it’s really so sad now, I never thought I would see this in America. So many of my older customers, people that are my friends, they are losing their houses because the property taxes are so high. The taxes are so high, they cannot afford their medicine. They cannot sometimes even afford food. They don’t want to lose their houses, but some will have to move because they cannot afford them anymore. Some of their stories make me want to cry---in fact they come in and cry because they can’t afford to eat here anymore. And we have raised our prices only a little.

Anyway, we hear that China is now more prosperous than America, now, is that true? I really miss you, and every one so much, especially our father and mother.

I also miss eating dog. They don’t eat dog here in America. In fact, I have two dogs now, and Pang--- you were right!! Our dogs are like our family here. I have two now. Dogs are deeply loved here in America, and now, I wouldn’t eat my dogs for all the tea in China! (Sorry, I make silly joke!)

My dear brother…we hear it is easier now to visit China. After the children are grown, we are thinking about moving back, once they can support themselves.

Until then, please write me if you can. Try to stay alive!

All My Love,


(This made-up letter was based on a conversation with MY favorite Chinese restaurant lady, whose loyal patron I have been for over fifteen years. And I’m the customer she has always told to…"Try something NEW!” Due to the economy, she no longer says that. She is one of my most favorite people, and she truly loves dogs, and her customers, although, not necessarily in that order.)


Thursday, January 01, 2009

Nobody Makes A New Year's Resolution

Nobody's Perfect: This just about sums up my mixed feelings concerning the end of 2008, and the beginning of 2009.

By all accounts, and according to all reports, (Done by mostly pundits who make a really good living scaring the heck out of us all.) next year will be worse than WWI, WWII, the Civil War, the fall of the Roman Empire, Stalin's reign of Terror, the great depression, and Nancy Pelosi losing a nail---all rolled into one.

We can expect to "starve, lose our jobs, houses, cars, and ability to buy $100 shoes. We will be nuked, biologically attacked, raped by an illegal alien, lose our electric, get heat rash in the snow from global warming, crushed by crumbling highways, lose our homes to unforeseeable earthquakes, more fires, floods, tornadoes....and never again be able to afford season hockey tickets"...not necessarily in that order.

So, in order to give us all a bit of a 1777, the Redcoats controlled New York City, Fort Ticonderoga was overtaken by the British in July, Washington lost the Battle of Brandywine, 300 Americans were killed at the Paoli Masacre, all our ammunition was destroyed due to rain, Vally Forge left bloody footprints in the snow, two of the Generals were alcoholics, the British captured Philadelphia, and the number of Congressmen went from 56 to 20, (Right now, that would be a blessing!) and France was not about to join in a losing effort.

All this before HD TV, and Monday night football.

The remaining delegates met in YORK, and all was about to be given up, when Sam Adams made this amazing rally:

"If we despond, public confidence is destroyed, the people will no longer yield their support to a hopeless contest, and American liberty is no more. Through the darkness which shrouds our prospect the ark of safety is visible. Despondency becomes not the dignity of our cause, nor the character of those who are its supporters."

He went on to say more great stuff...but you'll have to read the book: Samuel Adams..A Life, by Ira Stoll. It's a great work, well worth your depression buck.


Here's my Nobody New Year's Resolution: In the next year, I will strive to do my best, not to let the tremendous implications of what it means to have the Clintons and all their monkeys back in power, get the best of me. If it does, may I have a sense of humor at the right times..but:

I'm not perfect. Nobody's Perfect...There WILL be times when I will be so angry, and so full of the madness of it all, I might start getting really emotional. In those times, I beg of you to see me as what I'm proud to American.

Really...if we don't fight for our country, then our men and women fighting in other countries will come home to tyranny, even if that tyranny is hard to trace.

Besides...we should fight for all those that fought before us.

I figure we owe it to them.

We should NOT let America and it's founding ideals be erased forever into the globalization of a handful of greedy and power hungry oligarchs, who have already set up a most formidable system to control us, and our children forever. Despite their denial, the facts are all around us.

This has not been overnight.

Personally, I think the odds are against us all...but I also remember the line from the Star Trek movie, when Captain Kirk was talking to Captain Picard, (or is it Pecard?) when they were both lost the Nexus---and the Captain Picard asked Kirk to come and help him save a planet. (They were both on horseback...remember?)

To which he asked if the odds of succeeding were impossible, and if there was danger?

"Yes, most certainly"

"Sound like fun." said Kirk.

Captain Kirk, okay, was an actor. But that scene was the perfect example of the American spirit of Sam Adams.

And since this is my first public resolution, I don't intend to break it. I count on you to hold me to it. In fact, keeping this one is going to be...easy.

Not getting mad when my dog pees on my carpet...

I might not make that resolution this year...maybe next. There is only so much perfection in one year I can manage.


Tuesday, December 30, 2008


Upon Hearing that Bill Clinton was going to push the button in Times Square on New Year's Eve...All his old girlfriends decided to leave him a message.

Nobody's Opinion: Just when you thought that the Clintons could not gain any more attention on this planet...

Just when you thought that despite the fact that ALL their former goons who have been appointed and thrust back into just about every office ever held in the U.S. government, was going to be enough to torture you forever more, as if things weren't bad enough....

Just when you thought that at LEAST your New Year's Eve was going to be, if not extravagant, or exciting: entertaining...

They released the news that Bill AND Hillary AND Bloomberg...our new Czars Masters of the Universe, were going to put their lovely smiles for the whole world to witness, on TV...pushing the button in Times Square.

Hasn't New York suffered enough?

I might need to pass out this year.

Personally, even though I find nudity rather a silly "sport" I think every single citizen left in the United States should show up, bend over, and moon the trio.

Hey...I didn't even need a drink to say that.

After all--- it was Bill Clinton who did NOTHING after the first bombing of the World Trade Center, leading up to the second and final blow.

So, what's the message here? The Clintons will run the show, and Obama will play golf? Is Obama just the token here?

I'm just saying...

So...Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse..

It just has!!!!!

Just ignore me. I have trouble with dictators, big time.

This nobody wishes all of my readers a great New Years...Have a good time tomorrow everyone!

And yes, we will need a good stiff upper lip to make it through...2009...

I'm counting on you guys to help me fact, if I had money, I'd pay ya.


Monday, December 29, 2008

Nobody's Absurdities, No. 66: Are You Feeling Healthy Today, Punk?

Nobody’s Absurdities, No. 66

The other day I read about a woman who sued a hospital in Texas for sending her a bill she felt was unfair. The bill was for taking her temperature in the emergency room. She was outraged, because after sitting for nine hours with a broken leg, and not getting seen, she finally left. But, some nurse had taken her temperature, and sent her a $250 bill.

So… what? Was some cop from Mexico having his head put back on, therefore the delay? If they can charge $250 for taking a temperature, can they charge you $80 for a piece of ice?

Well, according to what my insurance agent said today…yup.

Here in St. Louis, one of my best friends, Ramonda, called me to tell me that her husband had a blood clot in his leg. So his doctor did some vein work on it in the hospital, where he caught a nasty infection afterwards, and so…they just CUT THE LEG OFF!

Why waste a good hospital bed?

And here’s what’s absurd--- Ramonda accepted that obvious hospital mistake. It was certainly not the hospital’s fault.

Let’s face it…Disneyland is run better than most hospitals. As for my friend Ramonda--- she hasn’t been the same since she left the building with Elvis.

Want more? In my own family, I watched my father suffering a stroke right before my eyes in front of an MD on a Friday night. The MD told him to see his neurologist on Monday. I’m not that stupid, so I took him to a hospital emergency ward…and due to a patient overload; he was put in a room to see a doctor on Monday.

By the time Monday afternoon rolled around, his brain was so filled with blood they couldn’t see his brain through the CAT scan. Of course, I didn’t find THAT fact out until a year later when they still couldn’t get an image through all the dried up blood.

Lesson: Don’t have a stroke on the weekend. You can get shot---but save the heart attack for Tuesday, especially if you are over sixty. (You think I’m kidding?)

Go on…go to any hospital, and sit in the corridors, and pick a person next to you, and just ask how they’re doing. There is a 50-50 chance that you will hear horror stories you thought could only happen on a Twilight Zone train to hell.

It all started with the HMO program…about the time that Hillary’s great secret meetings were happening and the grab for the Universal Health care, we were told… “failed.”

Here’s what they didn’t tell you. Her secret meetings did not fail; they just went ahead and started implementing Universal Health Care with its first step: HMO’s.

And boy, didn’t we think HMO’s were wonderful? Doctors were now forced to see every patient ten minutes or he wouldn’t get his “pay.” The assembly line of “get in, get out, take your pill, go home,” continues with great bravado. It’s a real McDonald’s style pharmaceutical company’s dream.

I’m the pusher man...I’m your pusher man”…

So, when people say we have such a great health care system here, I just have to laugh, because it USED to be great, before the Clintons. Let me be frank…the people that say this…have money. Many of them are conservative talk show hosts.

But, don’t take my word for it…. Let’s compare:

Canada has Universal Health Care, and it is said you will wait for hours to be treated at an emergency room. That’s already here, especially in the big cities with nightly gunshots wounds to fix up. You might get lucky and get in right away… but then again, you might not.

They tell you to hurry to the hospital, minutes count…But, hold that stroke, will ya? There was a gang fight tonight of illegal’s that needs our attention, we only have two doctors here. You, the legal American citizen, are over 60. You, are now dying-- but you must sacrifice your life AND money to the illegal who is young…you lose.

In Canada you will see a doctor who will tell you that you’re sick, you need an operation, but you might wait two years.

In American, if you are sick, you will have to wait sometimes as much as five months to get into see the specialist---almost the same thing.

Operations are quicker than in Canada, but not by much. Here you might wait three months as opposed to six. Besides, no matter how serious the operation, you are practically thrown out the hospital door the next day.

It never used to be like this. If you were sick or needed immediate care, you were rushed to the hospital, and seen immediately. Your stay there would be two or three weeks sometimes, until you got well. Women were giving a few days to rest after childbirth.

Not anymore. We now have HMO’s, and PPO’s and $80 ice cubes.

The HMO’s have forced many companies to have to charge more for insurance. Many Americans just can’t afford it anymore.

In Canada, immigrants are covered automatically at taxpayer expense having never controlled a dollar to the system and pay no premises. That same thing happens here, and God forbid you have a pre-existing condition. You'd have to move to Mexico, change your name to Jose, and come back as an illegal to get help.

And here’s the madness of it all---most illnesses can be prevented. We are a fat nation… and why? Because most of the food is filled with meaningless and harmful toxic…junk. The FDA has made sure that the boxes of stuff in your grocery store holds nothing for good for you…and like nicotine, lots of the stuff has addicting chemicals.

Fast food, and so much of our food has MSG, which is why it tastes so good, but it’s that sweet little chemical that’s responsible for much of our diabetes.

Diet soda, literally, can destroy your brain over a lifetime.

You know where I’m going with this. You should just leave now if you don’t want to hear it, but here’s the deal:

Universal Health Care will kill millions. Millions will die due to the fact that it will be left up to the government whether you get treated or not. They will decide, not you, not your family… if you get treatment. And if that doesn’t kill you, the taxes you will be paying will. In Canada 55% of their earnings goes to health care.

And since the baby boomers are a BIG worry to our now bankrupt government, do you actually think that they are going to want to prolong your life?

Do you see a pattern here?

They want us all to drive little tiny cars where we can be killed much easier; they continue to put fluoride in our water, (It actually lowers IQ.) Cell phones are already proven to be causing brain tumors with prolonged use, the FDA is letting poisonous food into America, and now, Obama wants us all to gather in little encamps of small cities, taking mass transit to work.

One major virus could cull thousands.

In the meantime, stem-cell research will keep the rich alive till they are all 150 years old. Only the rich will be able to afford real health food, bio-identical hormones, HGH, and bank their stem-cells to save them from illnesses.

What? You think they wanted stem-cells to cure diseases? You bet they do…theirs!
They will bank their own stem-cells to repair their own organs when they get sick at 86, so they can live forever and control the planet.

Okay, we’d do the same thing if we were rich, but….

Do you think YOU will get stem-cell rejuvenation if your 60-years old from the government? Will YOU get bio-identical hormone replacement to keep you alive, and disease free, living off of Social Security forever?

Now, can you think of a better way to save the earth through population control reduction, than Universal Health Care?

Yes, Universal Health Care…a legal way to kill millions…in the name of compassion.

They’ve taken creative capitalism to a whole new level.

But, all is not lost. Remember, despite their dreams of immortality, rich people can get addicted to McDonalds just like the rest of us, and they can still get hit by a hybrid taking their bike rides...and sooner or later, the boomers will realize they are being slaughtered…slowly.

Let’s just hope they still have enough brain cells left to figure it out before it’s too late, or we will all be "punked."


Sunday, December 28, 2008

Some People Are More Noble

Nobody's Fool: Yes, this picture sums up my financial philosophy perfectly...and the way I feel right now, I pretty much look like her too.

This is for those of us who get our 401 K's fifty- page stuff reports and go..."Huh?"

I have a whole bit on the economy coming up's in my head...but..


I forced myself to get up this morning


I stood up...


Ate a hard boiled egg...



Then an hour later the egg blew up...I'm sure somehow the football that Detroit lost ended up in my stomach....

Okay, I spent another day in bed....and then my dog ran out of food, at nine o'clock on a Sunday night! (Notice how I blamed her? Years of watching Bill Clinton will do that to you.)

So, I had to go grocery shopping just to feed the dog. I can't stand it when she scratches her empty bowl and looks at me like..."You're kidding me right? This sucker is EMPTY woman! I don't care if you're sick. It's YOUR responsibility to keep me in food! So WHAT if I already had two full bowls today! So what if each bowl cost the same price as a Happy Meal!? I'm hungry now!"

Did you know that Sunday nights at the grocery store are usually pretty quiet? I did managed to make it back, exploding stomach intact, and now I'm here, as the famous line from the Titanic "with you good people" having a good time.

This flu can't last too much longer...I called my son, who assured me it wasn't my cooking so that's the GOOD news, along with how great the "get well" wishes made me feel tonight!

Thanks to you both!

The bad news: Many people, unlike me, DO understand what happened to their 401'K's and they won't be getting any kind of Nobel prizes.---those will go to the US Treasury.

It just hasn't hit them yet. They think it's coming in the form of a "stimulus" package.

And speaking of "stimulus"...see ya tomorrow!