Friday, May 06, 2011

Nobody Takes a Second Look at the Brits

Nobody's Fool: Last week, we witnessed one of the most beautiful weddings ever photographed and exhibited on the planet. The Queen, and all her subjects.. outdid themselves. As I watched the whole thing from my flu bed, for once in my life, I saw the whole rich elite Lords and Ladies, and Kings and Queens from a different perspective...not easy for an American, but there you go...when you see perfection, you must admit it.

And perfect it was---from the young spring trees lining the walkway to the altar, to the simple dress of the bride, to all the men's perfection down to the very last button hole. And the hats! more silly than the next---and didn't we love it!

Beyond the ceremony, you had the beautiful grace of the young couple, William and Kate. The ceremony itself reaffirmed that institution of marriage is a great invention of proper society when you're lucky enough to get it right. Nowadays it seems, most people take two or three times. Some get lucky on the first try.

When two people as this young Kate and her guy..seem so well fit for each other..marriage can be taken to a whole other plane of beauty. (okay, so I'm saying idealistically, but..humor me.) Sure...we knew this was another marriage to bring forth more heirs to the throne, but everyone who watched, could see love. Those of us who had lived through the marriage of Diana and Prince Charles, were so relieved to see the boy who had lost his mother find his perfect mate.
Because we all know the story now, don't we? Prince Charles only married Diana in order to bring forth children (which he couldn't do with Camel-a) I don't think Prince Charles is popular even in his own land..just for that act alone.

Not that he cares.

So, this couple came just in time. Britain needed a good dose of nationalism.

The young William and Harry are so much more "human" than their father, that to bring forth this union and to go on a giant PR campaign is really...just very brilliant for the Queen.

Now, if you know me, you know that I'm not one for hereditary monarchy's. I don't think "bloodlines" are exactly such a great thing to rule a nation. Having said that...if you look at the mess we have today in our country...I thought, as I watched the Queen and her family...AND their guests---they outclassed Obama and our nation by millions of miles.

Here in our country...Whoopi Goldberg, a black comedian, made a comment that there were not blacks there--- yeah...brilliant observation. This is the prime example of how far Americans have fallen from their belief in themselves, and their sad, sad educational system. It's as if we have no clue who we are anymore. The white people here, many of whom, as I do, have ancestral ties to the great British nation from which we broke off..these ties were severed sometime after WWII, and more is the pity. We should become closer to our British allies.

I did get upset when the Queen and her son would not wave at their subjects. I guess it's tradition, but it's one they should break. They seem stiff, unaffectionate, and unappreciative. And yet, as the Queen was getting out of her car, I saw her turn and thank the man opening her door. Maybe there is something here that I don't know about. (amfortas?) But, I think I'd prefer a Queen that never smiles than the fake smiles from any President.

The pomp and circumstance of the whole Queen deal is such a part of Britain's identity, to get rid of it, would be like cutting off it's right hand. I understand that least I think so.

And they would be fools not to cash in on it. So...take your pick: Your own special I-Phone with William and Catherine name on it: a fridge with their pictures on it: or...a gold coin? (Personally, I thought the fridge was a bit much, god forbid any food rot in it. )

For me...I have a duplicate of Kate's ring...given to me by my best friend, who also got one for herself. And that's a gift that keeps a memory of a day of watching the perfect wedding...even though, we both know...there is no such thing. (Thanks Pattie!)

What I really want to say is that Britain was here first, in the modern word so to speak. The world has benefitted from its history, it's people, and it's great culture, more than it ever cares to admit.

See...already I'm starting to get some class! The is hope in the fields of Westminster Hazelwood.

All I need is a new hat.


Thursday, May 05, 2011

Nobody Knows What Hillary Saw, but Nobody Can Guess!

Nobody Knows

It was reported, when this picture was first released, that Vice President Joe Biden, 'President' Obama, Admiral Michael Mullen, Director of Intelligence, James Clapper, Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, Counterterrorism Chief John Brennan, and Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates,...were watching the assassination of Bin Laden as it happened.

Then, the next day, they said, that's not right. Hillary was trying to suppress a cough and they were actually, staring at a blank screen.

Well cowboys and we REALLY believe that?

Since they will not admit exactly WHAT they saw, or what they had found out, I think we can assume we are free to speculate. What did Hillary (and the rest) REALLY see in Osama's bedroom?

1. Oh my god...there's a copy of Obama's REAL birth certificate!

2. Is that a pork sandwich?

3. He has Euro's? Didn't we just send him about a million? Does this mean he has lost faith in the dollar? Don't tell Bernanke.

4. Hillary: Oh no...he has my private phone number.

5. My god...he makes his own beer? What does it say? (seal member picks up bottle to show label)

Bin Lager?

6. He's watching Conan O'Brian?

7. Wait...pan that...Michael Jackson's doctor?

8. What else is that on the table? Kosher Dills!?

9. He does WHAT with camels?

10...Wait...he has a tattoo...who is it? (Seal guy lifts up Osama's arm) ...looks like...Shirley Temple!

(Nobody Makes this stuff up...just because.)


Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Osama, Obama, Obamaosama...Mamabama

Nobody Reports: Okay. I've had enough.

He's dead, Osama bin Laden is dead...and here's proof: This picture was taken right before he was shot. As you can tell by the look on his face, he KNOWS he is going to die, and he is looking forward to raping 72 virgins because the "wife" he had been living with for the past seven years was not exactly a "looker" as was reported. She wasn't much of a cook either. Osama was found with food money in his pocket. All those pizza deliveries.

Nobody ever suspected Osama would order pizza, because NOBODY in Pakistan eats pizza. It was a clever disguise.

It's been an insane couple of days...first...Obama took full credit. He masterminded the whole operation in between celebrity fund raisers. In fact, he got the help of some of the best minds in Hollywood in planning the whole thing..right down to the dogs. Yes--- it was the man who said "Yes I CAN!" who got Osama, and so, these fine articles of men's underwear are being sold to the public in celebration. (underwear comes in all sizes, EVEN Obama' case you were wondering)

Obama, being the tech savvy guy that he is, even made everyone at the White House watch the murder in real time...the murder video that of course, doesn't exist.

AND THEN...all hell broke lose on all cable channels. was Bush and Cheney who should get the credit, because if not for the water boarding, the day of reckoning would not have happened. At least President Bush was not afraid to show the sons of Saddam on a couple of slabs. We watched Saddam being hung, and that was pretty sweet.

The sound of water boarding makes Obama nervous, because he almost drowend in Hawaii when he was just a baby...only a month old. The governer was there that day, and saved him...just ask him.

And, Nobody Remembers that at those gruesome sights, nobody in the Middle East went ballistic over those pictures released by President Bush. But Osama? That's different, because we now we have a President that respects a Muslim even if he murdered thousands all over the world...he DESERVES our respect. And...and...he wouldn't want the Muslims to show our slain boys bodies on the internet.

Spoken like a true golfer. Daniel Pearl is really a rock band.

Only a Muslim would give a man who had orchestrated the biggest attack in the history of our country full Muslim funereal rights.

Yes, he is a Muslim, and on some days, he's a Christian, and sometimes, he pretends to worship Bali...and his wife now does the Dougie. (No offense to Doug Powers..whom I'm sure is very happy that Michelle named a dance after him.)

Obama has decided because he wouldn't want the rest of the world to show pictures of OUR guys on the Internet...he' keeping Osama's death photo's to himself, so he is not going to give us any satisfaction.

We have to take his word on the matter

In other words...I don't HAVE to show you. (Re-elect me..and I'll think about it.)

The best part of the last two days is EVERYONE, with very few exceptions kept saying OBAMA when the meant to say OSAMA...and then had to apologize right and left, and that was at least more entertaining than watching the liberals and conservatives all try to take credit for what some brave young soldiers actually did.


One thing you can be sure: If you actually see the pictures of the guys who took out Osama on your TV...being presented with metals by Joe Biden, remember...Seal Team Six...does not exist. So therefore say a big prayer for whoever those guys are. They, and their families will become prime targets.

But that's not Obama's concern. The purpose is to make him look good.

He's the man. Yes...he can.

(And was Bush and Cheney who should get more credit, not Obama...but they do NOT have the nifty underwear now do they?)


Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Stalin--- Walking the Ghost Streets of Cairo

Nobody Knows where good old fashion common sense went.

Yesterday, they blew up a damn in Missouri to save the town of Cairo. Cairo, as you can see in the a lovely town. In's so lovely, no one wants to live there because living there might spoil it's scenic beauty. Once upon a time, it was a thriving town, over 15,000 people lived in Cairo. There was a prosperous downtown, with high-end hotels, and restaurants, until of course--- the 1967 black riots came.

The blacks, well, they just burnt it all down one night, and the whites moved out. Since then, the population of about 3,000, mostly black citizens have struggled to stay alive. 33% of them live below the poverty line, and 43% of the population are not married. Oh...and there are no jobs in Cairo. If you live are probably living off the government.

Downtown is a ghost town...therefore, it has to be preserved because the flood waters might just wipe it out. I suppose, as our 'President' is the first black President..the site is holy, therefore it MUST be preserved...all 9.1 empty square miles of it. In order to preserve the once great memories of racial riots, in their struggle against the evil white man, our government has decided in its save the Ghost town of Cairo, which has been threatened by an ungodly amount of rain.

Monday night, the Army Core of Engineers blew up the damns and flooded the Mississippi over 150,000 acres of prime Missouri farmland, in order to save the town of Cairo. Over $100 million dollars in crops will be lost, over 300 homes, and 800 (mostly white) people had to desert the land.

John Deere trackers will be floating down the river in droves. And let's not forget, all the dead animals who will also be floating down the river. (Don't tell the Prince!)

Some farmers in order to save the family farms in which they had worked hard all their lives, took the case all the way to the Supreme Court. Missouri sued, and lost. So, today, a group of 25 southeast Missouri farmers is suing the federal government over its decision to blow a hole in the levee. The Southeast Missourian reports that the lawsuit claims that the government violated the farmers' rights by taking their land without adequate compensation. The lawsuit seeks class-action status.

Most of these farms will be flooded till August. They will probably have to sell the land to the government at a loss. Food prices will go even higher because this is a corn belt. India is already starving due to LAST year's floods.

So nobody asks, why save a dead town and destroy MILLIONS of dollars worth of food for our nation and the world, along with good hardworking decent folks lives, in order to save a ghost town, filled with people living off the government? After all, how many of those 3,000 people live right on the river? And if they did, the government would surly come and rebuild ALL their they always do.

Why? It makes no sense.

Is this all about race? Or is it about destroying the little farmer and putting all food production in the hands of a few big government farms? Could these rains been "seeded" like they do in China? Is there a bigger agenda here?

No, conspiracy nut. How could you even suggest such a thing? (Actually, it comes pretty easy for me.)

There is only one other man in history that would have made this decision, and his name was Stalin. Nobody thinks Stalin is alive, and well, and he will be forever haunting the beautiful ghost town of Cairo for many years to come. Staring at the empty stores...that were the Supreme Court of America...another place he seems to favor.

And now...a word from our sponsor:

All whom the flood did, and fire shall o'erthrow, All whom war, dearth, age, agues, tyrannies, Despair, law, chance, hath slain.--John Donne


Monday, May 02, 2011

Bin Ladin...Lost in Transportation

Nobody Remembers: Those of you who know me...know WHY I have such affection for Seal Team Six, and how glad I was that they finally killed the scumbag who changed our world so drastically, and caused so much suffering to so many of our people.

When I told my husband, (who was playing sniper video games last night) that bin Laden had been killed by Seal Team Six...he calmly said: "Yeah, I believe that...even though it's not suppose to exist."

Bin Laden lived ten years longer than he should have. Good riddence to garbage.

And celebration....a word from our sponcer:

"Let God arise, let his enemies be scattered: let them also that hate him flee before him. As smoke is driven away, so drive them away: as wax melteth before the fire, so let the wicked perish at the presence of God " Psalms (68:1)


Sunday, May 01, 2011

Obama: The Untouchable Lion King

Nobody's Opinion:

In the movie, "The Untouchables," there is a scene where Sean Connery, (who plays an Irish cop named Malone) advises Kevin Costner, (who played Eliot Ness) how to fight Al Capone, the most famous murdering mobster in American History:

Malone: You wanna know how to get Capone? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. "That's the *Chicago* way! And that's how you get Capone. Now do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that? I'm offering you a deal. Do you want this deal?

Why do I bring this up? Because last night at the Washington Correspondence dinner, our "Chicago way" 'President' Barack Hussein Obama did his best Al Capone classless imitation, and he was gunning straight for Donald Trump's head. Trump had pulled a knife, so Obama bought a machine gun to the fight, just to make sure everyone knew one more time...who won. I speak of course, about Donald Trump forcing Obama to show his "birth certificate."

At least a good half of the show, with a few other nasty cuts on conservatives and media pundits thrown in for posterity---was entirely orchestrated to humiliate and demoralize Donald Trump right back to the morgue of all men, big or small, who DARE question King public.

Obama made sarcastic remarks about how Donald's ability to make even simple decisions on his show, were mere child's play next to being President..such as a brilliant President like himself. Then he picked a hit man comedian by the name of Seth "The tooth" Meyers, who continued to gun down the Trump with so much obvious glee, Obama started to look a bit like..."uh...okay..maybe..that's enough..."

Seth called Trump a joke, a conspiracy nut...and a racist, along with the tea party. The only thing they left untouched was Trump's wife.

CAPONE: I want you to get this fuck where he breathes! I want you to find this nancy-boy Eliot Ness. I want his DEAD! I want his family DEAD! I want his house burned to the GROUND! I wanna go there in the middle of the night and I wanna PISS ON HIS ASHES!

Like a good soldier, Seth delivered the goods.

The jokes were arrows dipped in the bitter poison of a man and his followers, who see Obama as some sort of God or Pharaoh. One wonders if Whoopi wrote them, that's how bad they were.

To be fair, it's not anything that has not been said at Fox by Sheppard Smith, Glenn Beck, or anyone else in the media for that matter during the last week. But, as a simple nobody, I thought to ANYONE going to stick up for Trump in the media after tomorrow?

One already has. Sarah Palin, who is beginning to see the pattern of "Destroy your threats. Cut their throats out. " did at least admit he had a right to his opinion.

Thank you Sarah.

This was no President. This was no decent person. Obama is NO Jackie Robinson, in fact, he's not fit to touch his glove. Whatever you might think of Donald Trump, Obama's vicious attacks, disguised of course as humor, were about the most classless thing from the Office of the Presidency that one will ever witness. This is a mob boss with delusions of, "I'm untouchable, even when my poll numbers are down to nothing. You can't touch me, don't even try."

The dinner started out with a music video flashing rather obnoxiously, the President's birth certificate (which by the way, lacks the state official seal) and a song saying, "I'm a Real American!" Then, to gun down Donald Trump further, he flashed a video from his birth: A scene from Disney's Lion King, where Zimba (little Obama ) is presented to the world as the new King of Africa.

Obama then, in his usual smug way, said that most people at FOX would not get the joke while displaying his best stuck-up face in the air at the same time, as if to say, "I AM a proud African, born in Africa, and you can't touch me!"

Yes, it's clear...Obama feels untouchable. And why shouldn't he? We can only wait till 2012, with no one in the running that can even try to beat his powerful connections. Let's not forget, he robbed the most powerfully connected couple in Washington out of "her" job...not an easy task.

Birthers and Non-Birthers, do have something in common. We are all desperate for anything to control this man..since our Congress is useless. We saw how they handled him in the last budget debate.

Paul Ryan tried, and for that, Paul Ryan got a few golden bullets at the dinner too.

Now, I understand that people (like me) that think we should abide by the Constitution are now being called racists. If you say that one thing in our Constitution doesn't count..(because we have so many other important things to do) than you can use that argument for every single law in that document..for instance...gun control...we can't worry about it...let's try to defeat him in the next election.

In the meantime, hold your breathe...who will run against him? Who would dare take on Capone?

We are broke? Well, can you or I do anything about our government spending us into oblivion before 2012? (Nope)

We need to fix our schools desperately? Sure, Obama is a Union man. Not going to happen.

We need to appeal Obamacare? Yes...and just who do we have to do that?

We shouldn't be getting into another war in Libya? Okay...Why don't you write Obama a letter?

WAIT: till the next election...till the election after that...and after that...and after that...and hard to elect good people. (sigh) How about that nifty electronic voting? One push of the flick of the pen. Come on. Every day computers are hacked. Really. Google and Al Gore.

The fact is..if the American people FEEL powerless, it's because..they are. The giant apparatus of our overblown, bloviated, corrupt and cancerous government has made sure from every angle, with bribes, cronies, career name it, that the little guy THINKS he has power, but actually...not much. They will throw another American Idol Presidential Contest for us, but the cards are already in. Even at the local level, you vote...and the next day you find out...HEY! GUESS WHAT! EVERYONE VOTED FOR A RISE IN TAXES!.

Sure. Right.

Is it any wonder the people search for a loophole?

It's a sad fact, that the office of the Presidency has grown with power with each passing President. FDR started it, and each President has taken it and built it into an office that no man or woman can criticize without some kind of retribution. Our government is so far out of line with the Constitution, no wonder it's so easy to ignore the little rules. Look at what happened to our right to protection of our own property from imminent domain?

Poof. Gone.

Little people are just trying to stay afloat. But get someone, like Donald Trump, who is "mad as hell and won't take it anymore" and expressed the feelings of millions...and you'd better duck.

So, back to Al.

Al Capone was hard to catch. They knew he had committed murders, But he ran all of Chicago, the mob was roiling in money...and Eliot Ness could not get him on anything. Every cop, all the judges, you name it, was on Capone's payroll. That's a fact. And so, they managed to get his financial records, by force, in a raid.

Listen to this, and picture our untouchable Obama. In fact, take a good look at his photo, and imagine:

Capone: I'm gonna tell you something. Somebody messes with me, I'm gonna mess with him. Somebody steals from me, I'm gonna say you stole. Not talk to him for spitting on the sidewalk. Understand? Now, I have done nothing to harm these people but they are angered with me, so what do they do, doctor up some income tax, for which they have no
case. (my emphasis) To speak to me like me, no, to harass peaceful man. I pray to god if I ever had a grievance I'd have a little more self-respect. One more thing, you have an all out prize fight, you wait until the fight is over, one guy is left standing. And that's how you know who won.

We saw a lot of King Zimba Capone at the dinner last night, and it's clear---he thinks he's untouchable. And every serial killer's detective cop will tell you...will untimely be...his downfall.

In the meantime, Pass out the bullet proof vests.

UPDATE: Bin Laden was killed a week ago, but Obama choose tomorrow...the day after his disasterous display of meaness at the dinner, to release this information in a pre-recorded video. Best to pick "Just the right moment" to release it.

Typical politician. Always the next election.

Nobody will be talking about this dinner tomorrow, which is the plan.

I, King Obama, singlehandely got the man for 9/11, insuring all you white people, that I am a strong leader. And Bin Laden.

Wow...he KNOWS he screwed up big time....he nation, under God...

OH MY GOD...Obama is losing it!