Friday, June 22, 2007

Nefs, Nudes, and Symbols of Power



Nobody’s Opinion: Today, my husband and I went to the St. Louis Art Museum because the current exhibit called “Symbols of Power” was free. (Free Fridays) Most of the people in the city go on the “free” day because let’s face it, paying ten dollars to see four rooms full of old stuff, while too many people are standing forever in front of you with absolutely no intention of budging due to the fact that they are listening to a twenty minute tape explanation of why the object two inches in front of them is so interesting…so that you have to wait ten minutes just to look at it too…thereby getting angry that you actually PAID to be annoyed…is not a smart thing to do. Better to get annoyed for free.

Mainly, it had stuff owned by Napoleon or his wives: old chairs, old dresses, one old sword, old dishes---and all the items had “symbols” of power on them, thus the theme.

Napoleon took the eagle from the Romans, and we took the eagle from the Romans too. It was the grand incumbent empire symbol everyone knew at the time.

Now we bow before Nike.

Napoleon made sure he had lots of symbols on everything he sat, ate, slept or wore, because he was a short guy and needed lots of intimidating symbols to make sure no one ever messed with him. He even had bees representing the French monarchy on his wallpaper.

Yeah---intimidating bees. That defines the French people right there.

The one thing they did NOT mention was that most of the stuff, whether it was a clock, or a candelabra--- the one thing every item had in common was that somewhere on the item was a nude women with very prominent nipples. Lots of nude breasted women holding up tables, or lights…with bronze gilded nipples…in fact, Napoleon even had his own sister’s breast copied and made into a gold drinking cup.

Protected by a laser sensor.

The French maybe started something here.

There was one item in particular that we thought was a pretty nifty toilet. (See above picture)

Hey--- it says here Napoleon and Josephine had these things next to them at the dinner table. It’s called a nef.” I said. “I wonder what nef means?”

“Well, it must be a toilet. Look at it. They must sit on it,” said my husband.

“You think? Well…okay, maybe the top comes off.”

Instantly of course, we were both trying to picture Napoleon sitting on his Empire toilet.

Yes, there we were, convinced that Napoleon and Josephine had so much power, they just got up from their meal, did their business on their golden nefs, (which was right next to their thrones) while everyone else probably stopped eating in respect, then when done, went back to scarfing down some more food.

Some slave came in and took it away, only to bring it back all shiny and pretty.

Not until the NEXT room did I read...that a nef was actually a fancy bin where they kept their spices and salts and stuff to take if they were poisoned.

Oh.

Anyway, tonight I got to thinking about this “symbol of power” thing. And then I came upon these nude photos by a man named Spencer Tunick, who has only one symbol of power----and I bet every leader on the Google Earth wishes he had it.

He may not have Air Force One: He may not live in Buckingham Palace, or have the vast treasures of Versailles…but…

For only the incentive of a “copy” of the picture, he has gone all over the world and gotten many thousands of people to come out and stand in front of him, take off all of their clothes, and wait patiently for instructions.

Now that’s power.

For some strange reason all kinds of people seem to have a burning desire to take off their clothes in front of complete strangers. It’s beyond this nobody’s comprehension.

Has this guy got a gimmick or what? And how many dates has he gotten from this?

In 2004, in downtown Cleveland, 2,754 nudes sat for hours in the cold…and beat the record of Montreal. In Barcelona, he managed to get 7,000 nudes to come out. In fact, this practice of “getting to be in the next nude picture” seems to be catching on all over the planet.

The picture with the anti-war message, was taken in Australia…it’s has 300 nude woman.
No men.

So what does this all mean? That in the West some people just love to go naked. In the Saudi Arabian’s hot desert, women are hiding themselves in Burke’s and walking around covered from head to foot in long black gowns, while in the west we have people just dying to get to Miami Beach, or London, and get totally butt-naked. They just had a nude festival picture taking session in London last week.

What does this mean? Which people are crazier?

Anyway, if you would like to participate in the next mass gathering of nudes for Mr. Spencer, he is planning his next one in Mexico. Bring your taco's.

And IF you go, be sure and take that one magnificent symbol of power that even a common man can have…(okay guys, don't even go there.)

Your camera, which is even better than a puppy I’d say for picking up girls.

I’m not sure if Spencer lets you bring YOUR camera, after all, then he wouldn’t make any money off his great “art” if he did.

But, you could always take a nef and hide the camera in it (or cell phone) and tell him, since you are going to have to wait around for his picture taking, you brought your own port-au-potty.

Something tells me he will not bother to check it.

The moral seems to be: Even a nef can be a symbol of power, or a camera, if you know how to use it.

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Thursday, June 21, 2007

Nurturing the Bear

Nobody's Opinion: Okay...I'm having a female nurturing moment. Somebody help me. If this isn't just about the cutest, most cuddly little bear ever...(who I hear is not not so cuddly and cute now---than I'm not a woman who crys at the showing of Bambi. I also STILL cannot figure out how to wrap the lettering around the picture, so Knute, is expressing pretty much how I feel at this moment. The question is: Will Knute remember this moment? Does he rememeber standing next to Dicraprio? Does he even care about global warming? Does it matter what happens in Detriot? (Wow, look, it's wraping all by itself!) How does China feel about having to pay France for it's drinking water? Can we send Michael Moore to the North Pole to protect the polar bears? Is he wondering why all of a sudden all the gas prices have gone down and no one is talking about it? Does he care that he is just about the most famous polar bear on the planet, and that some very caring liberal idiots wanted to kill him out of mercy? In fact, can we suggest all who want mercy killings to volenteer thier own lives first?

We promise to stuff them properly, and make cute little stuff human dolls. Although, I doubt if anyone would want to take a stuffed Al Gore Doll to bed with them. Anyway...if you didn't catch this cute little guy, enjoy.

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Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Nobody Explains Feminism


Nobody’s Knows: Since there has been some confusion by some lately on MND just who or what a feminist is: I have put it upon my nobody consciousness of vast knowledge to try to explain what one is, since long ago, I wasn’t sure I was one. I never thought much about it, but I might have been one simply because the very first clue to recognize a feminist is:

She is in a constant state of confusion.

Real feminists are totally and irrefutable confused…about everything. You name it---politics, how to wear their hair, if war is good, whether they can carry guns but other people can’t, whether they REALLY hate men or not, and most importantly, just exactly how to go about getting a wife.

Notice the picture above. Do not these three women look confused? One couldn’t even figure out what color she wanted her hair to be. Can Rosie REALLY play timbale’s?

Rosie (the one in the middle) as we all know, is so totally confused, she only figured out she was a man after Tom Cruise decided that he wasn’t going to fall in love with her. Before her “wife,” Rosie was so in love with Tom (a MAN) that she would have paid at least four million dollars for just a kiss from his hot lips. She talked about Tom every time she got on her show. She said many times, she loved him.

Frankly, many of her viewers got sick of her talking about him, but that didn’t stop Rosie.

So when Tom went off and married Nicole Kidman instead of her, she got very confused, then very angry--- and she has been confused and angry ever since.

Rosie decided if she couldn’t have Tom, then she would never have any man, and to hurt him…she would show him…she could go off and get married too.

Not only THAT…but since she was so confused, she got her daytime talk show audience confused, and then she had to quit the show, because everyone was confused at Rosie being confused.

It really was an expensive confusing mess for everyone involved.

Rosie was a woman…and now, she is a man…or maybe not. It’s very confusing.

Then when Hillary Clinton saw her confusion, she knew just what to do. Hillary’s vast network of spreading communism is best filled with people who desperately need a cause, and can feel wanted and love. Rosie didn’t feel too loved after Tom went and got married…and confused people are easily manipulated.

Which explains why she has no clue about anything.

Above we see a picture of three feminists; Rosie O’Donnald, (In the middle) Cindi Lauper (In purple hair) and the biker looking girl on the end who seems to think that Rosie needs another microphone, which proves confusion on her part, whoever she is. As everyone knows;

Rosie never needs another mike.

Now: Compare the Rosie “feminist” fake drummer with this one: (See picture at bottom.)

This woman is NOT confused. She is going to work…she knows where her drums are, she knows she is not a man----for which she thanks God every day…she knows what color her hair is…she also knows that the creepy guitar player in the band that took this picture was very much interested in exchanging more than guitar and drum licks with her, so she put up her drumsticks in the “peace” sign to confuse HIM.

He might have become a feminist…in fact, he might be a she by now.

It’s all very confusing, but I hoped this helped out.

Nobody Cares: This is a picture of me, taken in a bar that the band I was in was booked at in Kansas City many years ago. It was called the “RED BULL LOUNGE.” It was actually the first band I was in...I was about nineteen, and as you can see…very proud of myself.

I should have been…I had to practice 12 hours a day just to become half as good as the guy I replaced.

Feminism was not a word then. But, girl drummers were very rare. So if I was a feminist, I certainly had no clue…which means that…

If... A. All Feminists are confused
B. Therefore anyone confused must be a feminist.
C. The whole world therefore is in deep trouble.

I’m certainly glad I got this all cleared up.



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Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Hillary Rodham Soprano

Nobody’s Opinion:

“Think. The big fucking picture.”---Tony Soprano

It’s brilliant…it’s cunning. It’s a first time. It’s original.

I’m talking about the spoof of the Soprano’s put out by Bill and Hillary Clinton.

No wonder Google paid so much for MySpace.

It’s also pretty much cements the fact with just its very appearance, that it’s beyond this nobody’s doubt, empirical evidence that the Clintons have most of the media in their pockets…which bears the question: Which is more dangerous--- the vast military governmental complex that President Eisenhower warned us of when he left office?

Or the vast media/governmental complex which is at the beck and call of the Clintons?

As Tony Soprano would say…think.

The Clintons have a control so great that most of the horrific and real crimes of this couple have been concealed from the public with great deliberation for over two decades.

So great that when Bill Clinton as President, helped set up the sale of our nuclear secrets to China, (by-passing Congress by putting all military sales into the Commerce Department)--- who in turn armed all the rest of our enemies--- it wasn’t even mentioned on the evening news.

So great that every story, from Whitewater, to Clinton selling tainted aids-blood from Arkansas to Canada, to giving Iran nuke blueprints, to arming Iraq, to Travelgate, to Foster’s death, Ron Brown’s death, and not to mention, the more than sixty people that have died who worked for them of mysterious deaths: so great that none of these stories ever upset one single person according to the press, so they didn’t report them.

So great that somehow, with the complete and total manipulation of the main media, Bill Clinton’s image was that of just a sweet and bumbling rogue…who everyone loves.

Now that’s total Tony Soprano control.

And for Hillary to even compare herself to Tony Soprano, (Which is exactly what they are doing in the video…and they ARE in reality, both…corrupt mob bosses to the core.) it’s almost unbelievable! That’s how good they are. The King and Queen have no clothes on and no one even blinks an eye!

On the contrary…it’s great entertainment!

It’s scary…but it’s a stroke of genius.

By now, most of America has seen the short spoof video of the last scene from the Soprano’s put out yesterday by the Clintons, which makes you wonder…was this the reason that the sad and disappointing “ending” of HBO’s Soprano’s was put together exactly in order to be used for this purpose?

The purpose being to give Hillary some help in getting elected?

I’m crazy you say? You’re wrong Joyanna---it’s the other way around. They just did a clever ad.

Rather than make a blind leap of faith here…let’s look around, and think about this.

Remember in the last scene of the Soprano’s, Tony kept flipping and looking for a song? Anyone who has seen the show thought the whole show was so out of context, so unlike the Soprano’s, nobody could figure it out. The next day most people were screaming about being ripped off.

What we didn’t know is that the writer had a BIGGER purpose, and it wasn’t a movie sequel. And just before all of this..David Chase, the writer of the Soprano’s just did a big interview with Vanity Fair, in April.

Think. Hillary had announced the week before that she was searching for a song for her campaign…inviting all people to go online and “vote” for a song (making you feel like YOU actually contributed to her selection) for her campaign.

Gee…what a coincidence. Tony looks for a song…Hillary looks for a song…what are the odds of that?

Let’s look further.

Notice the shots of all the people…in the restaurant. We have a “family,” a table full of women, a black family, and a young couple kissing. All voters she needs. We see the couple more than once to remind you that Bill and Hillary were once lovers.

Hillary is Tony Soprano in this, she wears the pants. Bill comes into the restaurant with his whipped puppy look. She tells him to eat his carrots because, “She is watching out for him.” (Meaning she will be watching out for all of us with Universal Hillary Care.)

Message: She’s in control.

He asks her how the campaign is going…as if he has NO SAY whatsoever and is staying out of HER campaign completely. That’s more than spin cycling; it’s more like drowning the truth with two gallons of bleach.

Then she says, “Remember you said we should remember the good times.”…basically saying that we should forget all of Bill and Hillary’s bad points, (as political mob bosses) and remember the good times of all those great times that the Clintons were in office.

Tony says, “Remember the good times.” Hillary says, “Remember the good times.” I want to know what good times Tony was talking about.

How much more proof do you want?

In the April issue of Vanity Fair, the Soprano’s were on the front cover. Anyone who has ever read Graydon Carter’s editorials, or read the magazine knows that its contents makes Time Magazine look almost a shade to the right, that’s how far left it is. And Graydon HATES George W. Bush, (see picture) and also anyone who doesn’t worship Bill Clinton, Al Gore, or Hillary.

The Soprano’s got so much publicity on all the media, for the last episode because they did not want ANYONE to miss it. It was advertised everywhere, but the moon.

And the reason it was so important, was because Hillary and Bill were going to use that last scence for political purposes.

I don’t know who resembles Tony Soprano more…Bill or Hillary.

To take this control of the media further....

Dick Morris said on Fox the other night that the Clintons always worked with keeping the “lesser” of the negative reports on the main plate. A strategy he takes credit for.

So according to this. While we were all upset about Monica…Bill was going out of his way to empower China with Nukes. Supplying nukes to China was treason, better to have us to worry about Monica.

YET…the only place you could find what Bill Clinton was really doing was on Newsmax and WorldNetdaily. Bill Clinton had lawyers keeping them busy.

These two internet sites are just NOW getting into the main.

So, to fully implement total control, they must get the internet under control.

And having Al Gore on Google’s board of directors sure helps.

In fact, is it any doubt that Al Gore has something to do with Google’s going into the electric car hybrid business?

And then there’s their good friend Steven Spielberg, who is now going to put on the biggest extravaganza in history with the Clinton’s best buddies, the Chinese. (I wonder if it was his idea to built a highway up the side of Mt. Everest?)

What a coincidence that the Olympics will be held in China when Hillary becomes President.

All those late night parties in the Hamptons with Steven Spielberg are finally paying off.

Tony Soprano also said, “Cunnilingus and Psychiatry brought us to this.”

Something tells me Hillary and Bill could expand on that.

Actually, this nobody thinks that Bill Clinton sums up how I feel about the Hillary for President the best…

Bill Clinton once said, “You can put wings on a pig, but you don’t make it an eagle.”

Exactly. What we have here folks are two very naked, very cunning, but completely insane pigs.

And most people will admit, pigs are VERY intelligent, and can be dangerous.

This nobody suggest you keep that in mind, or we won't hear about America being taking over by the Chinese...we will be watching old reruns of the Soprano's instead.

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Monday, June 18, 2007

The New Gorewagon

Nobody Flashes: Today, in accordance with the Al Gore's Global initiative to rid the earth of greenhouse melting of the ozone gases, GM and Ford Motor company have joined up with the bi-partizen Chinese military complex to begin making this progressive brand new, every movie star's just got to have, hybred cars called..

The Gorewagon.

The engineers at the Gore university of new technologies have been working on this brand new concept, which combines the best of the past with the best of the present.

Brad Pitt was seen driving a brand new red Gorewagon through the streets of New Orleans, and says it's one of the most ecomomical cars he's ever owned. In fact, Angelina has bought more than one. She has one in every African country that has orphans, so that she can get to the adoption agencies in style. She also has several in Asia. She loves them so much, she loads them in her private lear jet to take with her on her trips all over the globe.

Not only is this new mode of transportation going to save the planet, but millions of new jobs will be created for our new Mexican "citizens" who will get needed work cleaning the manure off the streets. The (street cleaner) unions are already being formed and happy about the dues to be collected. New Jersey is especially excited.

As an incentive, the major companies have decided to give out a years supply of free grass with every first time purchase.

The new 2008 model should be found at all local Ford dealers across the country, as soon as the bugs are worked out. They are already available in China, and sales are robust.

(Okay, so I made up the part about Brad Pitt.)

If interested...check your mental state for any clogs or abberrations.

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Nobody's Absurdities, No. 46--There Are No Coincidences

Trent Lot made a very scary comment last week. He said, “Talk radio is running America. We need to deal with the problem.”

Now that would be a BIG loss.

I listen to a lot of radio. In fact, because most of America has to work, the only way most of us nobodies can keep up with current events IS the radio. Since you don’t have to watch it, and it’s free, you can listen to it while you work. Americans are always busy doing something, unlike Europeans, politicians, and Iraq elected officials, who seem to have endless bundles of free time.

The radio is the poor people’s last source of freedom. I say that because the internet can go down with the electrical grid. And Google can censure, as it has done, any thing not in line with the owner’s politics. Of course, having said that I realize if they wanted to cut off the radio they could. Instead they are trying to pass a “fairness act,” which is doublespeak for censure.

The radio has throughout history been a primary promoter of democracy. During the World Wars, Radio Free America and its American propaganda has played a big part in helping the rest of the world find freedom. It has helped take down many a communist’s country.

One of my favorite radio shows is Coast to Coast AM with George Noory, a man who is known to insist on the fact that, “There ARE no coincidences.”

Of course, he is not the first to entounced this belief. Socrates said the exact same phrase. And FDR, once said with great resonance: “In Politics, there ARE no coincidences.”

So, here’s a few nobody’s musings on the subject; “Coincidence?” Or not?

***********

This might seem small, but today (Father’s Day) on PBS, I was putting on makeup (a real job for me) and there was the woman of the decade---Suze Orman giving a lecture. She was “empowering” a whole convention of women on how to ‘empower’ themselves. She wanted them to stand up and say their own name, and be PROUD of it! Stand UP! And say it with feeling! She talked about how women put themselves on sale, and Suze was going to teach them all how to put themselves first.

Now, this was a definite “women’s” course on how to live and survive on your own workshop. And if you just send Suze Orman $300, (Who is VERY proud of her name as is her mother.) she will basically do it all for you.

Not only will you learn how to say your name, but you will learn how to take over the world.

My point being: It was Father’s Day; not a day I would have picked to air this program.

But since there are more single mothers than families now in America: Was this a coincidence?

Mothers are now fathers, and Suze Orman will cash in on that fact, or her name is not Suze Orman.

**********

And since it was Father’s Day--- my husband, my son, and I watched the U.S. Open on TV. (Which goes to show you just what is more important in my house…it was also my birthday. I would have rather played putt-putt-- the boys won out. Suze would have been appalled.)

Like my usual self, I was having trouble keeping quiet during the game. There were just too many blunders…Suze Orman could have done better on some of those bad shots. (And let’s not go into the hard course was a factor as an excuse.)

As you all may know, a guy named Cabrera from Argentina beat Tiger Woods by one stroke. And if you listened to the broadcast, a lot was said about Argentina, and how they wanted to get golf promoted in Argentina, and probably everywhere else where Spanish is spoken…and this U.S. open was VERY important.

Now…I’m what they call a “golf brat.” (A child of an obsessive golfer) The only time my father didn’t play golf is when there was more than four inches of snow on the ground. Four inches or less would melt, which meant…good golf day.

So having followed my father around on the golf course all my life, and he often hit 69 on many a day…I never once, EVER, saw my father make the horrible mistakes that Tiger made today. And my father was no Tiger Woods. In fact, I’ve never seen Tiger play that bad, although, it’s reported he has done so.

I became suspicious when the commentators kept mentioning, after every stroke that Tiger has never come from behind and won. Which is I believe, a bit absurd. Exactly what hole were they talking about…the first?

I’m not saying that Cabrera was not good. He was. It just looked like it was Tigers game to lose. The question is; can a man control his game to win by just one? Is Tiger that good?

How fortunate, when our whole Congress wants to force the merger of Mexico with us, with billions of corporate dollars on the line…what a great time for a Spanish guy to win.

The U.S. Open went to a guy who did not speak English and had never in his life won an open of any kind. In fact, the last four U.S. Opens were not won by Americans.

So where do I get this suspicious nature? I think I know.

My dad used to (work) take bets at the dog races in Bonita Springs in Florida. He said he just had to quit because of all the illegal bets placed, and the corruption. This was back in 1960’s. He also told me that many times the World Series was fixed.

So, of course, being as it was Father’s Day, I had to honor his wisdom and wonder…and drive my son and my husband crazy with words of corporate takeovers.

Was this win for the Latino’s a coincidence? All I know is ...Tiger was smiling at the end (even though I’m sure he missed his dad) and Furyk the man who came in third…looked like he wanted to hit something very solid with a nine iron.

Maybe Suze Orman was in the crowd talking to his wife.

**********

So why was my dad so hooked on golf I wondered? I always thought it was because he served in the Pacific during WWII.

You watch men die in a war, you live through it. Life should be enjoyed.

After he died …I was going through my “ironing” phrase. I ironed everything because well…everyone wanted to look good. So I rented old historical video’s to watch while I did all this “ironing” and one in particular came to mind.

It was about WWII and the battles fought in the Pacific. And in the film they actually said that a fleet of American ships were sent north to intercept the Japanese fleet. The point that got me is that they admitted that the Admirals knew they were sending these men to their death, but the move was “necessary.” Of course, they didn’t tell the men that, I doubt if they would have went.

My father’s older brother was on one of those ships. Over one thousand men died in the battle. (I think it was the Battle of Samar) He never talked about him, his brother’s death.

Now, I know in war, generals and Presidents send men to their sure deaths, in order to save some other “necessary” move that only they know about. It’s war. It’s a sacrifice.

The decision to take over Iraq, in my opinion, was made even before President W. Bush came to office. I believe they have known ever since the end of the first Gulf War that sooner or later they had to do this. But, best not let the people know, because it’s the people that have to sacrifice. Best just to manipulate the time.

9/11 was just the incentive they needed. (Now, I’m NOT saying our government planned it…just that they might have let it happen.)

Let’s be reasonable. You can’t ignore evidence just because you don’t want to believe that “rulers” would resort to what they consider necessary sacrifices.

Most people know that FDR knew that the attack on Pearl Harbor was coming, and that he ordered men who wanted to move the airplanes…to keep them in formation.

FDR we all know wanted to get us in the war. Let’s face it…the American people never want to go to war. And why should we?

Despite what the “experts” say, that there are never any conspiracies, all the events and evidence pointing to the contrary leaves one wondering, “What are the odds of that?”

Like the decisions made to get rid of the Jews with a holocaust…we can’t imagine making those kinds of “necessary” decisions ourselves.

Like the “necessary” decisions to prosecute border patrol officers. Like the “necessary” decision to let Terri Schiavo starve to death. We now have the “necessary” decision to merge three countries.

But sacrificing soldiers is one thing. Sacrificing a nation to invasion is another.

What are the odds that our leaders for years have been putting out misinformation and controlling our reactions to events and guiding us through very carefully placed “messages?” What are the odds that WWII was “allowed” to be started and that even the reports of the upcoming attack of 9/11 by the FBI was stifled (which it was by Janet Reno) in order to get us all into war mode again?

Is the fact that there have been 40 million Mexicans here for years, and we are JUST now seeing them on our televisions a coincidence?

Or was FDR right: “In politics there are no coincidences.”

No wonder my dad played golf every day.

Is it a coincidence that I was thinking about all this stuff on Father’s Day?

Nope. It was just a daughter finally understanding Dad’s little lessons of life.

Which in itself, was a great birthday present. Thanks dad.

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