Friday, January 11, 2008

Buckets For Votes

Nobody Flashes Anymore: Hillary Clinton held a big party today for out-of-work construction workers in Las Vegas.. in her tornado of a campaign tour... because she just felt so sorry for their situation.

What these poor guys do not know is that, at democratic parties...if you drink more than your share of beer, you have to give it back in order that they can redistribute it to the poor Latinos.

As you can see, Hillary is very generous. But to get into the party, you had to admit you will vote for her and her grandchildren who are yet unborn.

Construction workers went even farther. For all the buckets of beer that they could drink they promised Hillary could have their ninth- born child. Their first born have already been promised to Baachus.

She'll just have to deal with it.


Thursday, January 10, 2008

Indianna Hillary---Coming To Your Neighborhood Soon

Nobody’s Opinion; Everyone is trying to interpret what happened recently in the news: How in the world did Obama, who was touted as the next President in Iowa, and was predicted to smash the already defeated Hillary Clinton with a resounding double-digit beating in New Hampshire---how did he lose?

Republicans everywhere were almost dancing in the streets with glee, with every single CBS poll. Oprah’s diet-soda slurping, ironing, soccer mom matrons were humming along with the hopeful news of “change.”

All the polls sang with one voice---Hillary was toast.

And then, like a Bill Clinton “fairy tale,” the news hit that Hillary had been reborn: Reborn from the Machiavellian, ruthless, power hungry, manipulating, woman that we all know---into a magical feminine princess with a compassionate heart, a voice reminiscence of Marilyn Monroe, and the soul of mother Teresa. Even a conservative could empathize.


As Matt Towery’s said in his column today, “Live from New Hampshire…”

“It doesn’t take a polical whiz to know that Hillary’s recent teary moment and Bill’s argument that Obama is a fantasy candidate being treated with velvet gloves by the media were both deliberate strategies right out of the mastermind of one William Jefferson Clinton, the smartest Democratic campaign strategist alive.”

Fairy tales do come they can happen to you…when you know the right people.

Well, I have a “fairy tale” explanation based more on reality than fiction.

And if I don’t suggest it, who will?

Here’s my theory: Bill and Hillary have never done a thing without planning years in advance. And since it is well known that they have had years to think about their strategy to put Hillary in the White House, and how hard it was going to be because she comes with so much “divisiveness”---they needed an exceptional battle plan. And this time, they are getting it from their old buddy Steven. As in Spielberg.

Right now--- I would call him General.

If you want to write a fairy tale, you go to the experts.

Writers, directors, and masters of drama are good friends to have, and the Spielberg’s and Clintons go back a long way.

Steven and his buddy Lucas have been dishing out blockbusters for years, and they tell you how in Vanity Fair this month.

Harrison Ford, who plays Indiana Jones, explains that part of Indy’s appeal is his tendency to get the crap beaten out of him. “I always wanted to make sure the audience understood the pain, so that they could participate and enjoy the triumph.”

In other words, George Lucas explains, you get the audience to identify strongly with the underdog. That’s how they become “everyman.” The actors have that “Oh-my-God- I’m-going-to-die” look.

“And it’s an honest look, it’s not contrived,” says Lucas.

Hillary had to get it just right.

Bill Clinton rushed to New Hampshire and started speaking on two hours of sleep after her defeat in Iowa. He looked horrible and beaten as was planned…poor man.

And Hillary’s speech…the, “I’m so tired…. I put my husband ahead of myself all my life, I helped make him President, even though he embarrassed me by getting caught with one of his bimbo’s, and then he keeps talking abut himself---and now, I have to eat all this garbage food, and put up with annoying people crying on my shoulder…and…my feet really hurt…

Hurry---get the camera; put a few people around this table….ready? Set? Action!

Close up: Now…Tears.

It worked.

Put out the news that the reason the polls got it wrong was because poor whites are prejudice, instead of the real reason: the whole ordeal was controlled by false polls.
Polls can be used to influence voters. (remember Florida?)

Hillary---you’ve got yourself a real box office hit.

But this is only the first act. Prepare yourself for… The MacGuffin.

No, it’s not another burger by McDonalds: it’s the goal that is so powerful that the audience will care about it almost as much as the dueling hero’s and villains on screen.

In Indiana Jones it was The Ark, then the Holy Grail…in the next movie it’s a crystal.

So, some issue has to come about, an issue only Hillary can handle to save--- probably all of humanity. She will need the biggest McGruffin ever recorded in history.

What’s its going to be?

I don’t know…but you can be sure it will be right out of the Temple of Doom.


Wednesday, January 09, 2008

The Cackle Strikes D.C.

Nobody Flashes Anymore---That's why when a woman reported that she saw a woman, she SWORE looked just like Hillary Clinton flying a broom over the Capitol today, she just about dropped dead in her boots, which would have exposed her thong that she got from her boyfriend for Christmas. (His name was Bill)

Naaaawww...but wait...that cackle! That laugh! Didn't you hear it!

Look! Up in the sky! It's a Bird!....It's a Plane!....No it's SUPERHILLARY!

That's right. That great Clinton war room produced the biggest scam in political history yesterday when Hillary came in first place over JFK's secret grandson who was too busy saving Kenya to pay attention.....Obama.

Today everyone was asking...were those tears real? Did you hear Bill? Did you really think Hillary and Bill were gone for good just like everyone told you?

Is there a tooth fairy? Are you , like me, having a PMS moment in time and space? And most of all, are you saying to yourself, in between sips of vodka and trips to the bathroom...WHAT HAPPENED?

Well, have no fear dear gentlemen and ladies...tomorrow, I will tell you just how brilliant the war room of the Clinton's can be....and what has happened....

Not only that, what to expect.

Before then, think of that famous scene in Jurassic Park when the great game hunter is stalking the raptor who is just sitting there in the bush ahead of him....and he takes off his hat, cocks his gun, and out of the bush beside him is another rapture...

And he says..."Clever Girl"...or something to that effect, before he is eaten.

Ahhhhhhh.....only in Hollywood.


Tuesday, January 08, 2008

The Elephant in the Tree

How could Obama be winning over the entrenched political machine of the Clintons?

That’s the surprise question on everyone’s lips all last week.

There is worry in the air. Our entrenched and established government, who say they represent that huge elephant called The United States of America, is looking up, and feeling a bit worried.

They have long put that extremely complex entity called The American Republic up in a tree. After all, he was getting to be a real pest---always in the way of the “progressives.”
As the CEO of General Electric, Jeffrey Immelt will tell you, when it comes to business, it’s much easier to deal with communists in China; they only have to talk to one little guy.
Republics, electoral colleges, states rights, individual rights, constitutional rights…it all takes so much time, and business is in a hurry these days.

Even democracies are easier to deal with.

So they took that huge elephant and got him out of the way--- they just placed him up in a tree.

That gave them more room down below to just ignore him.

And now, they want the American people to give up her sovereignty and become global, for the good of the planet. It’s a noble cause which all our politicians preach daily.

Oh, and by the way---we have pay for it, not them. They are too busy growing a middle class in China and India in order to spread democracy. That’s the story and they’re sticking to it. This will keep future wars from happening, they say.

Globalization is the only option now, and universal health care must be implemented to give our multinational companies a more even playing field.

Oh, you thought it was to help you out? Silly elephant.

All the political candidates now running for Presidential office are globalists, no matter what they may say to get your votes. The three candidates that would have saved America’s sovereignty have already been eliminated: Tom Tancredo, Duncan Hunter, and Ron Paul.

It was easy to get rid of them. The mainstream media, controlled by the few, just didn’t give them time. Putin would be proud.

But in Iowa and New Hampshire, a branch broke, and if that elephant falls down, and fall it will, whether now or in the future…it’s not going to be pretty.

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce might be crushed. The WTO might be smashed. The United Nations might be buried. Bono might actually lose a pair of sunglasses. Years of “progress” fought hard for by global socialists, will be lost.

Bill Clinton and his wife, right underneath the elephant, had to ‘gasp.’

The Harvard, Yale, and Oxford school of Strobe Talbott’s 'One World Government with no borders' set up simply for the few to rule the many, might suffer broken bones.

Yes, the few do rule the masses, even if the “few” are a bigger percentage than before. It has always been so. But history also reports that when the few get too greedy, the masses usually revolt.

And wise men, who want power, use the revolt to take over---the cycle begins again.

Obama, we are now seeing, is the new wise man. His, “We are all one people” sound bite is the mantra of revolutions---but we should careful that this revolution does not bring us our own Castro.

So far, the elephant has kept quiet. After all, we had our big TV’s---we’ve been patient.

But the elephant is getting hungry. We saw this while witnessing Ron Paul supporters throwing snowballs at Sean Hannity in New Hampshire.

It’s getting cold in the branches. You’ll have to wait to get your electrical service on.
General Electric has now become the Global Economy of global warming. They have global customers to attend to first.

I am listening right now to an “economist” on the radio who has taken over Rush Limbaugh for the day. You see, Rush keeps insisting that Americans are very happy with the state of the economy and their lives. Laura Ingram disagreed, and he has been trying to prove his point ever since.

Some realize that the elephants here in Middle America, are experiencing the fall of Rome.

Higher and higher taxes, higher energy costs, higher cost of living, bad schools, fear of poverty in retirement, loss of millions of good paying jobs…they see a bleak picture.

Rush, much like the Clintons, draws his philosophy from his own past experience. He flies over the country. He sees the big cars. As Thomas Sowell says, the poor in America are fat.

The poor, as long as they can get fast food, should not be jealous of the rich. And not everyone is equal---but, if you work hard, you will prosper.

Not necessarily Rush.

What Rush doesn’t seem to see is the cement cracking. He doesn’t see the dictatorships in the schools; He has never had to take a mother or father suffering from a stroke to an emergency room only to watch them die because the gun-shot wound of the young black man got first bids on the doctor.

Rush plays golf and thinks well... he made it, and so did many of his friends. If you don’t make it, it your own fault.

He insists daily that you must be optimistic in life, and that’s true. BUT…for someone who claims to be a pragmatist, he might be due for a reality check.

Rush forgets that he’s a genius, he had a definite edge. But even genius can fail. America is not the same country Rush grew up in. Laura sees it, Rush doesn’t. Either that, or he does and he thinks the only way we can survive is by the big companies.

He could be right…I don’t know. Middle America has gone to Wal-Mart to buy poisoned toys and dog food. Many of us don't think we are better off, Rush.

The truth is; many Americans feel that separation of corporate and state no longer exists, and it is a much bigger threat to us than the separation of religion and state, as Huckabee’s success in Iowa proved. It’s also why John Edwards came in second in Iowa.

When Mickey Mouse’s 75-year old copyright was up, Disney just sent a few corporate lawyers in--- no problem: renewed.

Our patent office has now been taken over by the CEO’s of big corporations who have changed all our wonderful patent laws…in the name of “globalization.”

The little guy has even less a chance now than ever before in history.

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce, the same unelected institution that gave Boeing the rights to keep selling our weapons technology to China (who can now nuke all our cities thanks to Boeing) with bi-partisan help (Clinton and Bush) now demands a North American Merger. We need Canada’s and Mexico’s resources, it’s only smart. The merger is needed for us to compete with China.

After all, we don’t have the tax base we could have had now. Millions of abortions stopped that.

A double edged sword…what’s a government to do?

To be able to take on the continuing oncoming invasion of millions of future Mexican immigrants we will need to upgrade our whole infrastructure with a ‘user fee’ on all energy--- another “program” the Americans will have to pay for.

The Commerce department paints a rosy picture. The construction of all this infrastructure will create jobs, jobs that Americans probably just won’t do.

Why?---Because the baby boomers are getting ready to retire.

The elephant is getting tired, he feels old. He feels neglected. He has to work two jobs to make ends meet. He no longer takes vacations. He is not getting sleep. He eats crappy food because he can’t afford to eat well. He, like his country, is in deep debt---but unlike his government, cannot just print himself more money to get out of it.

So when a branch of hope came unexpectedly from a candidate named Obama, a man who promised a “change.” Excitement filled the air.

And elephants are desperate for change…

Change: From the years of the Clinton and Bush royal families.

Change: From state run institutional public schools and universities whose main purpose is not to educate our children with basic skills of survival, but skills to become subservient to the state propaganda of producing global diversified servants: produce citizens who will “volunteer’ their unpaid services to serve mankind.

Change: From a bureaucratic school system that gives secure “jobs” to millions, even if it fails every year...but it doesn't matters, because secure government jobs is tax revenue.

Change: From politicians getting more and more control over our lives, telling us what to eat, to think, to wear, and where to live.

Change: From governments starting wars and not playing them to win: wars meant to sustain long range ambassador ships of military ports, set up for “trade.”

Change: From hearing about the problems all over the world that regular Americans must sacrifice our future, standard of living, and children to fix.

Change: From politicians, who know about our problems, say they are going to fix them, but never ever do.

Change: From a tax system that is so horrendous and unfair that no one but the top one percent can escape it.

Change: From having no say whatsoever on where our taxes are spent, and for what.

Change: From career politicians and corrupt judges.

Change: From wage distribution programs of communistic shadings---be it the unfair practice of affirmative action, or scholarships for illegal immigrants.

Change: From the future America where the citizens will be forced to learn Spanish at our own expense in order to work, while we pay for the Spanish people’s lessons in English.

Change: From a medical system has been broke ever since the HMO's, which was the just the beginning of universal health care.

It’s a big problem, keeping a republic. Benjamin Franklin warned us it would be hard.

Something tells me this is the year that the great elephantine burden the American middle class has been asked to bear might be too much…that branch will inevidibly break.

And no branch of “hope” giving by any upcoming candidate is going to stop it.


Monday, January 07, 2008

Mrs. President---Want a Tissue?

Nobody's Opinion: Hillary Clinton was in such desperation today she had to do something really fast to save herself.

She had to break down and cry, and remember to look right at the camera while she was doing it.

Every woman knows, when push comes to shove, when nothing else works, you can always cry.

She said she was crying because she cares so much about the country, but I'm sure when she heard her "husband" Bill Clinton lamenting that if only she were: short, young, and male, he could help her get elected. After all, it's not his fault that she is just not as wonderful as he is.

Or maybe it was the fact that someone left their puppy on her laptop, and all her "donations" were immediately lost to cyberspace.

Well, as Dick Morris has said, she is running out of ammunition.

But, have heart Hillary---sex change operations are now paid for by the government, and you can thank your dear husband for that...he was looking out for you!

What a genius! If you hurry, you can have it done before the convention!


Sunday, January 06, 2008

Nobody Reports on a Monday

Take a Break

Nobody’s Opinion: I don’t know about you, but I had to take a break from politics this weekend--- I’m sorry. As important as these politicians like to make us think they are to our lives, something tells most of us, that any one of them could be elected and not much would change, no matter what they say. Our schools will continue to degrade, our jobs will continue to disappear, our soldiers will still remain in Iraq, Korea, Germany, Japan---and we will still have to see the same faces on our TV day after day.

The same sitcoms will show the same politically correct agenda’s---homosexuals will be found kissing more and more on prime time---singing and dancing contests will be something to look forward to, and the ever inevitable “White girl goes missing and shows up dead” will take up our weeks.

We’re getting bored, which is one of the real reasons Obama, of course, made such a big splash in Iowa, isn’t it? Oprah came out and made him into the book of the month, just like she made everyone rush out and buy the “THE SECRET”…which is the silliest book you could ever buy.

But hey--- I bought it. I thought it promised the “secret” to success. It said all you had to do is “wish” for something and it will magically come to you.

So far, the winning Powerball ticket has not appeared in my hand.

Obama is basically saying the same thing. “We are all one people.”

Well, you could have fooled us.

Thanks Obama, that’s nice to know---now, where’s your secret going to take us?

The good news is he put a big dent into Hillary’s ambitions and so, for one minute, we will rejoice.

But not for long, because Hillary will be back, and Obama will be no better, which brings me to the subject:

Nobody’s Perfect; She can sing! She can dance! She can get on the news just about any night of the week!---but Britany Spears finally met her match when she locked herself in a room and refused to give over her kid.

I suggest we all pray. I doubt anything else will help this sad woman, unless Michael Jackson decides to marry her.

Nobody Knows: Electrical grids are failing all over our country. Millions are being left without power, every single day…and it seems there is no state that has NOT had a failure.

Now--- if I were in a conspiratorial mood, which I sometimes love to get into...and I were in charge of Homeland Security--- and I knew that more than likely our country was going to get “hit” again---instead of coming out and saying, “Well, we know there are nukes here, we just don’t know when they are going to set them off.” I would plan a series of electrical outages so that everyone would go out and get supplies in order to be prepared.

It would force them to. I could blame it on global warming.

I mean, we all know that trees get knocked down…but for the electricity to take weeks to come back on?

Why do I feel funny about this?

I’ll tell you why. The other night some “expert” was on the radio saying that you could survive the ‘bird flu' if you had enough supplies to last for ten day.

Does that make sense to you?

Does a flu just disappear off the earth in ten days?

Do the birds just fly away?

Ten days seems to be the number they want you to remember…and it all started with Y2K.

I’m brushing up on my “morose” code. Ten days is just too long without the Internet.

Nobody Cares: A new word is being splashed all over the news: populism. I had to go and look the sucker up. It seems to mean different things to whoever is using it. It is supposed to mean: Advocate of the rights of the common people.

But somehow, in many headlines, it sounds more like a word being used to replace the word “communism.”

After all, John Edwards, Obama, Hillary, Huckabee, John McCain…are populists that all want to redistribute wealth from “some” and give it to somebody else.

Why don’t they just call it popucomlism?

Nobody Wins: The Unions now are going global. That means that union members in this country will have to give up their sovereignty to other countries, but hey….globalization give them no choice. Membership is down everywhere.

Waiters of the world….UNITE!

Nobody’s Fool: With all the talk about taxes, I have a suggestion. Why don’t they just freeze gas taxes? No matter how high the price of gas goes, they should only be able to collect no more than 2 cents a gallon.

The sales tax on gas alone is probably paying for the whole Iraq war, and something tells me, filling up the new hybrid cars will cost even more.

I don’t know. When ever they cut a tax, they just stick it on to something else, don’t they? What do they think we are....fools?

copyright 2008