Saturday, June 20, 2009

Happy Father's Day!

Nobody Knows---
Just how many fathers received this solid gold beer mug, made by Ginza Tanaka, for Father's Day.
It's only $50,000. A real steal.
Frankly, it's not enough for all the grand dads that I personally count as my friends, because they will be happy with the simple ties, and silly gifts that I'm sure they will be overjoyed to receive.
Happy Father's Day! And don't forget, most of the family is just being nice to you so that you will barbecue, because everyone knows, NO one can grill like a dad.
No one.
Have a great day! And if you can't get the mug, ask for the geisha.


Friday, June 19, 2009

Nobody Flashes: ALMOST Naked Women

Nobody Flashes: Now that I've got your, this is not Obama's personal water attendant, it's an old add from a fashion magazine...selling water.

I mention this only because Calvin Klein continues to use sex to sell his clothes.
Have you seen his latest add? Check it out...who needs clothes? Why bother?
Now, I would say that this picture of the woman behind the purse is about as suggestive as one can get...I got both these pictures from the March issue of IN STYLE, 2001.
Why they think pictures like these sell products to women, I have no clue. More likely, the photographers just wanted a kick. Certainly, no woman thinks her purse is going to get her a man...but then again, maybe that's what purse's are really for.
You could carry some wonderful manly tools in that thing,...
"Here, I happen to have an electric drill right here in my purse, cutie! No need to go to Sears!Wait, there's a really nice socket wrench too! And here's some lug nuts!"
The difference is these pictures are of woman old enough to have legal sex, where as Calvin Klein's models look like they are all just shy of seven, which of course gives Sarah Palin ammunition at the world when they start attacking her, and her daughter.
She should say, "Well, I have to compete against Calvin Klein...telling kids that they should buy his jeans and have sex as soon as they don't put them's not easy you know. David Letterman should attack Calvin Klein, he makes millions promoting sex to underage girls."
Really, it's all about the age. At least that's my opinion.
Hey, I just posted these pictures for the guys. I happen to think that is one butt-ugly purse and would not be seen with it, even if I had no clothes on and my life depended on it!
So there.
I wouldn't mind having a pair of wings though.


Thursday, June 18, 2009

Nobody's Perfect: Muhammad BP

Nobody's Perfect:

Right after 9/11, try to recall, if you can, just how many times President George W. Bush said,“We must take the fight to Iraq, in order to fight over THERE, instead of here.”

Most of us were having trouble with that statement, because, well frankly, we just didn’t see too many Saudi’s in our neighborhoods standing ready with guns in hand at our local corners to blow us all up. That’s how isolated they made the twin towers destruction appear to us.

It was a one-time fluke. “Who knew?” said Condi Rice.

Later we found out quite a few people knew, but were not allowed to talk about it.

Here it is almost nine years after 9/11, and yesterday, I went to buy my usual Powerball Lottery ticket at my local BP gas station, (leave me alone---don’t even go there.) and there before me was yet another pair of grinning Saudi men, boisterously bantering with the all-white Anglo Saxons before them, paying for their gas and lotteries tickets.

It was then I realized that now, every gas station around my house inside a ten mile radius are owned by Saudi’s. All of them.

Oh, they are courteous to the Americans; they smile at you when they take your money---but in their eyes, you can see their disgust, especially if you happen to be a blond woman.

Okay, it’s a free country, right? Get over it I tell myself.

So there I was, dreaming of how I should win 72 million on my birthday when I noticed the paper. Right up front, there it was. Not USA Today, not our dearly un-beloved Post-Dispatch, but a paper for only those who can read Arabic. Right there.

Up front.

So I said to myself…this is NOT good. Just how many Saudi’s are now here?

If I had seen a French paper, all in French, I would have said the same thing, but as I looked at these guys, it looked as if they had just gotten off the bus, so to speak.

Yes, welcome to America, guys.

Then I got to thinking how right after 9/ll, all our local gas stations closed down. Poof. Just like that. Actually, it was shocking to me. Stations that I had gone to for over twenty years…one morning…just gone. Like a bad one-night stand.

Whole stations, left to rot in the sun, in the middle of a crowded highway. It didn’t make any sense.

BUT…around the corner brand new superstations were going up all over the place..which were really great, until you realized that they were owned by Hugo Chavez. One really stupendous one called Chevron was a favorite until we found out that we were actually giving money to a guy who called our President the Devil.

Who knew?

So, what’s that make us I thought…Satan worshippers?

After the news got out, people stopped going to Chevron…so, within a few months; we saw a new station, under a new name. They think Americans are stupid.

They judge us by our politicians.

So I got to thinking about it. What if…the Saudi’s plan is to buy up every single gas station here in America?

Every one.

What a perfectly stealth way to overtake a society. Infiltrate the infidels…control not only their gas prices but the very stations where they buy that gas. Get as many relatives as you can over here.

You can make a lot of road bombs with all that gas.

After all, both President Bush and Obama just love that Saudi King, and he has a lot of relatives.

Maybe that’s why we had to have a President called Barak. And here we all thought it was our Congress and Monica Lewinsky that was holding our politicians hostage.

If you see this happening around YOUR neighborhood, maybe we ought to ask ourselves: its one thing to not drill for our own oil, but it’s quite another thing altogether to let every Saudi and their cousin into our country to own the gas stations that sell it to us.

So…Mr. President….what good was taking the fight OVER THERE, when you let them come freely into our country, to infiltrate and set up camp here?

You tell me, next time your dad jumps out of a plane. I’d love to hear it. In fact, you are being blamed for Obama being elected in the first place you know.

Somewhere in that paper that I couldn’t read was a statement I bet…

“We must take the fight over there, so we don’t have to fight it here.”

No wonder they want us to get electric cars.


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Nobody Knows Why I like Birds

Nobody's Knows:

I love birds. Most people who know me think I am practically on the cusp of severe neurosis when it comes to my dear parakeets. I still have my little dead parakeet “Sunny” downstairs wrapped up in tissue paper in my freezer.

You see, I just couldn’t bring myself to put him in the ground when he died.

Sunny, got very sick a few years ago, right in the middle of winter. And of course, as luck would have it, our “electric” went out for three days, and we couldn’t keep the fire going, to keep the birds warm. We finally took them (at the time I had four parakeets) to a local hotel…in a last effort to save my little yellow soul mate.

It didn’t matter. That first night did him in…the house was a good 20 degrees…and that was sitting NEXT to our fireplace. The houses of today might as well be made of paper, all the good they are for holding in the heat.

And this morning, very early, there I was, on my birthday, at the Vets, with two more “sick” parakeets. One, who goes by the name of Snowball, was filled with protein evidently. The Vet, who has been there at the “passing” of many of my dear “pets” was surprised that she was still alive. It seems she can’t make eggs, so she just fills up with fluid. She looks like she sitting on a huge balloon.

He stuck a big needle in her and filled it with…junk. Protein he said.


He couldn’t remove the ovaries of a bird he said…so therefore, I must just wait for the inevitably day when Snowball (who is an albino) just pops, I suppose.

And then there’s Smoky. Smoky has a limp leg. He pulled a tendon one day trying to get away from me catching him to take him to the doctor.

He hobbles, but his future looks good, although somewhat depressing, because Snowball was his girlfriend, and I must admit, I envied their sex life, which has passed them both now, due to her balloon and his limp leg.

And like a true male, Smoky is taking the loss of his morning hump pretty badly.

Now, there is a point to this meaninglessness talk about birds. I had taken both “sick” birds out of the big cage to be by themselves, but it was obvious, they couldn’t WAIT to get back to the other birds…four other happy, loudmouth buddies who have not a care in the world. These are birds who have never known what it is to really fly.

They don’t miss it. They just miss each other.

Today, my husband and I went to the zoo. We only go once a year usually on someone’s birthday. And every year, my most favorite animals are…you got it..the birds. From the ducks, to the flamingos, to the eagles, to the koo-koos, to the bustards…I don’t care. I talk to them all.

I also don’t care if it embarrass whoever I’m with.

“Oooooo…you’re a pretty bird aren’t you? “

While the prairie dogs were pretty entertaining, in form, style, variation, color, and sheer amazement, you can’t beat birds in my book.

So, there we were, on the first sunny day of the summer months…relaxing in a closed bird cage when this little guy (see picture) flew down, inches away from our feet… and spread out both wings…and sat there.

Odd…what is he doing we whispered?

Well, who knows? His blue wings were enough to make you realize that no human could have designed something so perfectly, wonderfully blue.

At first I thought he was maybe drying his wings…but they weren’t wet. No, he was showing off

After about five whole minutes of being just incredibly breathtaking…he flew off. Unlike the poor huge Eagles, who were in cages so small it seemed almost cruel…he could…fly off that is.


If you’ve never experienced it, you don’t know what you’re missing. My parakeets don’t want freedom. They prefer the safe cozy confines of the secure cage they have always known.

We have been so very free in America. And the question arises: Will someday our children, and their children, not want to be free, but instead prefer to remain happy in their secure little worlds…taken care of by this global nanny state, where class, and race tell the purpose of your life?

Will future children raised in a less free America desire freedom…having never known the feeling of what it’s like to be free?

Is it in our genes to fight for freedom?

Well, if you look at the liberals of today, they act just like my parakeets. They prefer the zoo.

Too bad we just can’t put them all there.


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Pass the Iceberg

Wow. I take a month off and what do you know…the world gets worse. What happened? Everything was supposed to get better---but the message that keeps coming at us is…

We few at the top just wish you’d people would shut up and leave us alone. You’re too stupid to realize the problems we have, and we CERTAINLY don’t want you to know what we really do in the back rooms, so just stay home and do what we say.

If we say that we have to control all the banks and businesses in the world---we do.

If we say that you use too much water, are too selfish with your time and money, and should not drive at all, you should listen to us---we know.

If we say that we must have CZARS put in place to report only to the President, we should. Trust us--- it’s the fastest way to get anything done.

If we say that the brand of America is being transformed into a country that was much too “arrogant” in its image, and it must be changed because we have decided it’s going to the experimental ground for the New Global Corporate Order, where millions of immigrants from all over the world will be enticed to come and join in the new experiment of getting all the different cultures of the world to live together, controlled by a few multinational companies, in newly raised cities, where everyone will posses a big propaganda screen, and look forward to eating boxed pre-prepared dinners, ----you will.

Cooking with gas will become too expensive, due to the energy tax…your energy use will be monitored…not ours.

And cancer will grow to unimaginable bounds. But you will be happy, and feel safe, if you work for us---and we will take care of your young. The old will just have to face their end sooner than later. They must realize it’s for the good of the planet. Don’t worry, we will legalize marijuana and you will feel no pain in your death.

And quit being so selfish…we know, there are just too many people on the earth for our liking, and we have big plans to rectify that problem. And you dear people are on the “need to know basis, and you do not need to know…just to obey.”

If you want to make the big bucks, you will need to move to another country. In the meantime, everyone will make less. We will take the excess and use it wisely.

We have drained the wealth from the nation, and it’s all for the purpose of a higher calling, you must realize…we are saving the earth. Yes…we are saving the earth…for ourselves. America has to be downsized. Somebody has to do it.

In the meantime…go ahead and complain all you want. Gather together. Have tea parties. Whatever makes you feel good, because we know what’s coming, and we know you’ll be too busy trying to survive the big tsunami we have planned for you.

Get used to it…you are, in case you haven’t heard…
the new enemy.

And hey there, Glenn Beck: there ARE no conspiracies, right? Right.

This all just happened, much like how “man” just happened to appear out of nowhere on the earth. It was the evolution of greedy corporations and stupid politicians that put us all on the brink of disaster. People are basically good..right? There ARE no conspiracies.

So, when Hiller gathered with his top men, and planned the elimination of the Jewish people over a nice dinner and vodka, that wasn’t considered a conspiracy, that was,...what…a fact?

I have complete faith in Glenn Beck’s common sense. It’s just that good men find it hard to believe in complete evil. It’s too hard for them to comprehend.

And Glenn Beck is a very good man.

Obama said yesterday, in his well controlled media event: “People’s voices should be heard and never suppressed.”

He was talking about Iran, but setting up his defense for the upcoming protests here.

And he will be the FIRST in line on July the 4th, where he will be proclaiming that our great nation was born on the Fourth of July, praising our traditions…

And all the while, he will continue to put the final destruction of our great people and nation with blinding speed and malevolent dictatorial energy.

The stealth deployment of a vicious enemy.

Hey, it’s Bunker Hill Day. It’s also my birthday.

And yeah, I’m pretty much still crabby. Odds are, I’m getting older and I will probably get worse.

Move over, and pass the bottle.

Let the fight begin.