Saturday, November 20, 2010

Nobody Flashes Email: I do not like...

Nobody Flashes Saturday Night Email: This one gets right to the point.
(Thanks to Tom Beebe)

I do not like this Uncle Sam,
I do not like his health care scam.
I do not like these dirty crooks,
or how they lie and cook the books.
I do not like when Congress steals,
I do not like their secret deals.
I do not like this speaker, Nan,
I do not like this 'YES WE CAN.'
I do not like this spending spree,
I'm smart, I know that nothing's free.
I do not like your smug replies,
when I complain about your lies.
I do not like this kind of hope.
I do not like it, nope, nope, nope!

Hey, lets all memorize this and sing it at the airports!



Friday, November 19, 2010

The Punch Line to Planet X: No Rednecks Allowed.

Nobody Flashes: You haven't lived until you've listened to the radio broadcast of Coast to Coast, with George Noory at night. I have learned the most amazing things on his program, and since I'm a bona-fide nighthawk, fluttering all my pop-junk well into the quiet night, I always have him on.

And tonight, I heard this guy named Gordon Jones and I was...zapped.

By this: Look at this picture of the sun rising. See the "shape" next to the sun? Well, that, according to a man named Gordon Jones---that's the Planet X.

And it's BIG. And it's...going to flip the earth in a polar shift, while traveling AWAY from us. And this will happen...oh....about 8 weeks from now, or sometime soon next year. (Hopefully before Obama's state of the union address)

India, will disappear, in a hour. The entire coast of California and South America will RISE...because the Teutonic plates underneath them will shove them up and make mountains.

Same thing is going to happen in Australia, from the west. Tasmania will get much warmer. The Madrid fault will go bananas.

And Colorado will be the main military complex where all the big guys will go to survive, but DON'T go there unless you want to live under Nancy he didn't say that, but, I bet she'll be there before anybody else.

I was really getting into this. After all, it was the most exciting news since Prince Charles announced that Camilla was going to be Queen of England. (By the way, what if Charles dies, and she is left Queen? ) England will be all Muslims by 2060 anyway so we won't worry about them right now.

But, back to our future.

Gordon had me in the palm of his mighty, "They aren't telling you anything, but they have known for years and that's why Glenn Beck is trying to prepare everyone for the future with canning. Canning food is the future. "

Okay, I've got that covered. Since I have trouble not burning water, I have to improvise.
( I mean, who wants to stand over a stove and watch water boil? Not me.) My neighbor just took my crap apple tree and made canned jelly. And Pattie, my old new best friend, told me today SHE can and make corn bread, something that I am determined to do some day. Mona, my new best friend ( I will have a LOT of best friends in the future...) can cook anything that moves, including old trees, and everything is going to be moving....

And ALL these ladies can "can" food, all we will need is...the food.

Good luck with that after the pole shift.

But...back to the future.

Gordon kept talking and he had me already thinking: Maybe there is something to this....and then...the punch line: Living here among us are six billion cloned aliens. And they are in the oceans, and parallel universes, just READY to pop in when this happens.

HARP is disguising their mother ships from us.

What's so great about all this, is the ability of George Noory to interview some of these people with the utmost respect. He never laughs at them. Never. Truly...who could interview some guy saying things like...

George: "What percent of ET's are not nice?"

Gordon: "Weill, about 90 percent are not selfish, and 10 percent are selfish."

Six billion people are not selfish? That's nice to know.

You seen their planet was destroyed by sex and emotion. (I know, I know) So they came here looking for a home, and they decided they had it wrong...they should have just had greater sex and greater emotion.

Oh....that's great news for Tiger Woods.

Nobody Flashes Update: D.C. will be a volcano. Watch the ashes.

And North Carolina will be in trouble because of the selfishness and FIREPOWER of the people. He actually said that. Never mind the earth flipping on its polar head, it's those hillbillies you have to watch out for!

I might have to move there.

Now. Let's get serious.

After this pole shift, the tip of Brazil will be the new North Pole, so I figure Missouri is going to have the weather of Costa Rica.

I'm getting pretty excited about this.

And Gordon's main philosophy is the same as Glenn Beck. "Don't be selfish with your canned food" .... or the aliens will not like it.

Glenn Beck is gathering food for himself. Really. He has millions of dollars, and he is afraid of being without food?


So, if you see the skies getting dark, and look up and see a another planet in the sky as big as the moon...

I suggest: lots of beer. And give one to the man from Planet show you're not a selfish human, he might just let you live. That's the card to get into their new world.

Rednecks are not allowed, but there will be a body scan.

I've given this a lot of thought. I guess I'll just have to boil the water.


Thursday, November 18, 2010

Bill O'Reilly, Punts Palin Out of the Bear Den

Nobody Wins: I was a bit shocked today to hear Bill O'Reilly say that in his opinion, Sarah Palin should not run for the Presidency. According to the polls, she would lose.

His reasons were: She's a mother: she doesn't have the experience: Mitt Romney, (Rhino that he is) has more money: and, last but not least, she should not put her children through the trauma of the many attacks.

To this nobody says: Huh?

She shouldn't be President because...she's a mother? She needs to stay home and take care of the kids?

Uh....what's wrong with Dad taking over for a while? I'm sure the kids will be very well protected from the public once she is President. All the White House kids are. And how could it get any worse?

And who does these polls? Where are they done? Some rich neighborhood where the big boys all get together and say, "We need a big billionaire to watch out for US!" in the White House.

If I had to choose between Mitt Romney and Donald contest. Donald would win. Mitt is another wishy-washy insider. He would NOT appeal Health Care. We know that.

Romney would represented the big multinational corporations, that's pretty much a fact.

So why the polls have him top is beyond reason, (okay, coming from the established corporate world of the media and makes perfect sense) but most of us still feel like there are two America's, and these polls are being held by some pollster who got off the boat in Cuba.

Hopefully, the "I'm looking out for you " Bill O'Reilly has a reason for this sudden attack on Sarah Palin, because at this early state of the game, it looks rather "unprofessional" for him to come out and put down the hopes of any candidate for 2012.

Putting a mark on her so early, makes HIM look like he has already chosen his man, and he is using his power to get rid of the competition.

And if it's Mitt Romney or Jeb Bush, then I'm going to take a truck to Alaska, pick up Palin myself, and hire a blimp to float all over the country to advertise VOTE PALIN, and send electronic messages to all mobile cell phones as it passes over each city.

Okay...I won't do that. BUT, I might just send out "Carl Rove is a Global Gooby Bear "cell-phone messages.

I got this video off some body's site (some liberal blog) and everyone was raving after this video about how stupid Sarah Palin was.

You listen to it, and you tell me.

O"Reilly is taking the Bush road. "We have jobs that no one will do"

Sarah says...give those jobs to the citizens.

Hey, I'll pick oranges!

Sarah Palin might be able to beat Obama easily, but Bill O'Reilly is a formidable foe.

Maybe he has a game plan. Maybe FOX is doing this to look "fair and balanced." Maybe Rockefeller really can get FOX off the air.

Hopefully, it's not for the corporates elites. Or maybe he just doesn't want us to get off government welfare and god forbid, pick cabbages under the hot California sun.

Or maybe... it's because all those rich people just could not LIVE without their Mexican nannies.Deporting all those house workers would due tremendous damage to the elites who count on them for just about everything.

Having said that: Bill is still number one. Maybe he is trying to get the tea party people all hussified so that they go out to protect her...

You....never...know...the plans of men for mice.

Sarah could get in the White House and fall apart and PMS every month, and start saying "Muslims are part of the American Heritage" and pass amnesty.

And if that happened, I'd deflate the blimp right over the White House (by remote of course)

I can STILL PMS with the best of em!

(Nobody makes this stuff up NSA, FBI, CIA, and FEMA ! Do not think I'm serious about blowing up a blimp over the WHITE HOUSE...get a grip guys. I couldn't blow up a balloon over my hot tub.)


Wednesday, November 17, 2010

What DO You Buy Them for a Wedding Present?

Nobody Cares: As If I didn't have enough to due this week...the news that those cute and adorable perfectly matched Royals in England are going to give us all another thrilling spectacular wedding to take all our minds off our own miserable state of affairs, (How sweet of them.) has put another task on my plate of "Things to do before the holocaust."
And so, I have to somehow find time in my busy schedule to go and get them a wedding gift.
Well, here...I've decided to get them the perfect gift...a royal solid gold Kingly toilet throne for him...
And to match...a solid gold toilet cleaning brush for her!
(What do you think?) It's perfect!
Wait...What if they get this and have to take it back? What if someone ELSE gives them the very same thing?
Finance to the Future King: Oh dear , this is the third gold toilet and bowl cleaner set we've received. I was so hoping for an emerald one, or one done in's so retro...we should return it and get something else dear...I could go shopping and find something for the baby.
Prince: Darling...Let's just give one to pops, and the other to my brother.
Fiance: Oh're dad will just trade it in for cash and buy trees for his estates. Really, more trees means more bird poop on my new cars.
Prince; Mmmm..we COULD cash it out and give the money to the people...
Fiance: Oh're starting to sound like your mother. Besides, one of the help is most likely to steal all three of those toilet bowl brushes...and just replace it with some plastic gold gaudy one...
Prince: You're right. Old granny was right. You're the perfect one for me, smoochy...(gives her a princly kiss.)
Finance: Now, about this ring....
On second thought: I think I'll look around.
(Note to readers: yes, those really are solid gold items)


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Search...and Destroy....

Nobody Wonders: Whatever happened to our forth amendment rights?

IV: The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Caroline Kennedy even wrote a book about it.

They are completely the stroke of the executive pen.

And cannot get on a plane without being "unreasonably" searched.

This mindset of putting every innocent American person on the search block for crimes they have not committed, reminds me of an old very unfair habit, used throughout our schools and military.

Remember how insane it was when a bully started a fight with some innocent kid in school, and the principal ALWAYS expelled both of them? Or how about when someone in the room through a spit wade, and the whole room was punished? They use that same logic in the army.

It stinks. And so does this sexual harassment against the innocent American people.

Yes, it IS sexual harassment. If this happened to you in any other area of your life, the "liberals" would be crying holy mother of the great Gloria Steinem---"He touched me!"

(Unless of course, that touch came from Bill Clinton.)

They jammed Health Care through, and now, by clever design (I suppose as a social engineering experiment from some lab at Stanford) they are forcing everyone to a persecutory search: either get some rads put into your body, or and get a nude picture they can put up on Facebook and in the NSA archives, or get some creepy guy or woman to feel you up.

How do fathers feel about this? What about their teenage daughters? Speak up you guys!

The President who has ordered this should be sued for sexual harassment. This is not protection. They could profile the criminals. They all look the same. If Israel can do it, so can we.

Oh...I forgot, we have a Hussein in the White House-- no can do. He says we can take another hit, but we mustn't offend our Muslims brothers.

If we allow this, it's going to get very bad from here on. Buildings, trains, buses...schools..

One small step for Obama, one big step towards the fall of mankind.

This nobody can think a few reasons why they are doing this:

Feel free to add your own:

1. (And the most favored by conservative talk show hosts)
The program is to get all Americans (and soon the world) used to obeying the demands of any governmental employee without question or backlash.

2. To get people to start going everywhere by car, so that they can further claim that global warming is real, and car emissions are tearing up the ozone, Also, it has been suggested that soon every mile we drive be taxed, and the gas taxes will rise again. Two more taxes to make them richer. More cars on the road means more money to D.C., and more reason to put in their electrical car and grids.

3. They are hell-bent on the economic destruction of the United States so they can let China come in and rule us, take us over, and the one world Marxist government will be set.

4. When the remaining airlines go bankrupt, the government will come in, and Nationalize all airlines, and you will have to have a government pass to even fly. And that pass will not be cheap. Like the doctors deciding whether you get medical care, our government will decide if you can fly.

And 5. (My personal favorite)

Rich people are tearing down perfectly good ball stadiums and building new ones, where the plebeians never even see them, or can come close to them. They have their own "boxes" where they can perch high above the lower classes.

While we are heading toward billions of more new poverty cases in the world, we also will have a shitload of new multi-billionaires (70 in China alone) who do NOT want to be held up at airports with all those lowly dirty people flying to see grandma. It adds hours onto their take off time.

Why build new ones just for them? Let the lower classes stay home. Clear the runways please.

Maybe Steve Jobs is going to develop a special I Plane just for travelers. And Richard Branson wants more airspace for his Virgins

Anyway, if you feel bad about the fact that YOUR child will be traumatize, your teenage daughter will get her first breast feel from a strange man, or your wife will be looking into the face of some guy from Haiti, feeling her up with a grin on his face, who just got off the plane himself...remember.. thousands of Arabs with terrible intentions are coming in from our borders. They are already here.

I doubt if they need to board a plane.

And the worst of all; We have this Presidential terrorist for two more years.


Monday, November 15, 2010

Glenn Fink

Nobody's Perfect: This is the story of a boy named Glenn Fink.

Glenn Fink was the best guitar player in St. Louis, probably the whole Midwest, during the 1970's. Glenn (he was only about 21 at the time I knew him) could play any guitar lick in the world...Jeff Beck was his specialty, and I got to play with him five nights a week.

(Get your mind out of there! Go directly to the airport!)

You see, Glenn and I were in a band was called the Glenn Lonsdale Band, (Another Glenn) because he was the leader. He had a very tiny, blond wife who played the conga's when she wasn't singing along with her husband.

Yes, for a little gal she could wail. She would also cuss him out every night for looking back at me. I was always in the back...I played drums.

The bass player was "bald headed" Denny. (whom we used to kid because he was only 27.)

We were on the road, playing hotels in the Midwest for two years, playing the top 40 songs on the radio, and so it's no wonder that Glenn Fink and I were best buddies.

Glenn was the first person to introduce me to football. He loved to watch football, and so, he basically forced me to watch it with him, and learn the game in the winters when we were stuck in the hotel rooms.

I can get hooked on any sport...don't let me. I've just now gotten off boxing. Thank God.

Somewhere in those two years...we started sharing our nights together if you know what I mean. Musicians stay up all night usually, and get up at noon, practice, watch TV...get ready for the job, play four hours, then go eat at some Denny's...then it's get up and do it again. You travel to different towns, stay for a week or two, and then go to the next town.

Sort of like a carnival.

But there was something about the boy, I could never put my finger on. First off, he never talked. EVER. But on stage, we were like one. He was so good, that pretty soon, we almost started becoming psychic. I knew how to show him off in his guitar solos', and he made me become three times the drummer I was. I had to practice all the time, just to keep up with him.

Then one day, we came back to my hometown of St. Louis to play at a nightclub near the airport. It was my 19th birthday, and my parents had taken me out to a Lobster and Steak dinner. It was just the three of us because by the time we had reached St. Louis, Glenn and I had broken up. No big deal. But, since we valued each other so much as musicians, it never got in the way.

Still, I had a deep hole in my heart because we didn't hang out anymore, and that's probably what caused the next scene.

After that dinner, I was drunk. Now, I don't remember just when I got drunk, or HOW I got drunk, it was so many years ago...but was a nightmare.

After my parents had gone home, I somehow made it back to the room. And if you can remember the sickness you've ever been in your life, that was me. I was so sick, I couldn't even walk to the john because I was so drunk.

I was so drunk, I didn't even know where the john was. I didn't even try to look for it.

Let's just say...I don't drink much. Never have. So when I do...whoa.

I was lying on the bed, crying when I heard a knock on the hotel room door---it was Glenn.

There was puke everywhere. Very quietly, he got me in bed, and starting cleaning up the floors.
Glenn Fink, took care of me like a mother does her child. He not only got me some buckets, he wiped my brow, cleaned up my hair, my legs...he got me to the john, cleaned up all the puke which seemed to be everywhere...and of course I was crying very hard, and going on about how I had let my parents down, etc. and he finally started talking to me..."Don't worry about it."

Mature. Kind. Gentle.

He did not leave me until dawn.

No mother or best friend could have done any better. He healed my soul, dried my tears, and sobered me up. To this day, I can't believe another human being did that for me.

There was no sex...he did not do anything, and he could have, that's how drunk I was.

Well, on second thought...

Later on that week, my parents came up to see me one more time. My big number was "Turn the Beat Around" (I had to sing it too) and then I played a drum solo. God, was I was so nervous.

On my break, I was sitting at the table with my mom, and my dad came over and said to us after having gone to the Men's Room, " Hey, I just saw that one guy in your band come out of a stall he was in with another man, and I won't say what they were doing."

You could tell, my dad was a bit disturbed about it.

To me, it was just a revelation. I thought to myself. "Oh...that's why."

The last I heard, Glenn Fink joined the army and was playing in the band. He told me that's what he wanted to do. After all, like me, he was not from a rich family.

You would have never known to look at him that Glenn was gay. (or bi) He had a very sexy velvet black jacket that he always wore...short spiked hair, and a cigarette was always hanging out of his mouth. He looked very tough.

Glenn was one of the most caring, smartest and talented men I have ever known.

Glenn Fink, took a perfectly messed up girl, and gave her unconditional love, despite his own proclivities.

And that's about as perfect as you can get.


Sunday, November 14, 2010

The Principle: to Not Attack the Rats in the Swamp

Nobody's Opinion: The Republicans are back!

We are seeing a vast propaganda movement on all fronts to convince the tea party people (IE the last of the Americans) that, "Hey, we know you left the Republican party because you felt President Bush sold you all down the global river...but come back, trust us again."

And in order to do that, they have to polish that Bush family star. It's been a Bush tsunami.

X-President George Bush was EVERYWHERE last week, on every channel, and on every show that would have him. And let's give him credit. He answered the same questions and gave the exact same answers... over and over and over and over again, without the help of a teleprompter.

He sits himself on a lofty pillow of honor and integrity, where perforce, not even a comet from the heavens above, could knock him off his historical place in his own mind in history.

Move over Bill Clinton, George W. is a 'coming.

The only one who could knock him off would be his mother.

She said in an interview that she thought the American people were "Bushed" out, and she's right.

While he talked about his dad, his mom, and his brother, and then his dad, his mom, and his brother, I was starting to think...well that's nice, but what about the country? What ARE your opinions Mr. Bush?

Frankly, I would have liked to heard a little more about his feelings for America, but it was the same big bunch of PR..promoting his legacy. On every channel, on every station, repeating them over and over...and by the way...

Does this mean Jeb and Palin are running in 2012? Are you setting us up there Mr. Pres.?

You know George, maybe your brother Jeb really doesn't want to be President? What is this?

Have you got Putinitis?

Our 43rd President put the final nail in many a patriots heart, with his stance on amnesty, his mistakes in the aftermath of Iraq, and his relentless silence of right, and wrong.

Everything is seen from his own personal legacy perspective.

Both O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh know the damage he has done by not speaking out with each bullet of sinking Marxist despair slammed down upon America, and asked him about it.

He has principles, he said.

A whole country needed to be uplifted by his "principles" but I guess his 'principles' only come out when they make HIM look good.

Come on..Americans are being groped and sexually handled at airports, and fined if they refused and all you care about is your reputation?

"When good men do nothing."

Remember that principle?

In my principle book, a man who is very principled would stand up to injustice. Sure, he cares about the injustices to the Afghanistanis, but what about US!

Okay, we all know that he's human...he is just thinking of his family's historical future and record. It's what politicians do. They come...first.

But really, people are dying here...while he contemplates how historians will picture him.

I don't know. I'm still in the swamp.

His main concern, while the United States was melting all around him, was protecting the precious office called "The Presidency." Never mind the people, it's the office we should be concerned about.

Globalization just might take that office away. It's something I don't think they expected to think about.

On Jesse Ventura's Conspiracy Theory , it was shown that they have built vast detentions centers all over the U.S....just in case of...what?

Old people coming out with guns when they enforce the death panels? The deadly virus George Bush kept talking about will finally be released?

Look, right now, we can't even complain about being treated like the Jews going onto the our airports...what's next?

It's beyond insanity.

There was one moment when George W. was trying to emphasize with the nobodies. Yeah, I know how they would feel, me taking all their money and giving it to the bankers, but HEY, we could have gone into a depression!

Lawyer's and bankers told him that. Lawyers and Bankers told him a lot.

If they release a deadly virus and they round us up all into FEMA camps, what is he going to say?" Yeah, I know how I would feel if I was rounded up and taken to a camp, but hey..we had to protect the office of the Presidency!"

And he says he never ever cared about what anyone ever thought of him. Never. And he doesn't want to go back into the "swamp."

Mmmmmmmm. So why are you on TV again?

I truly hope Mr. Bush, that neither you, nor any one in your family, ever has to go back into the swamp ever again.

The swamp, is full of rats, as you know Mr. President. And if you have your way, they will stay there.

It's the principle, and the honor, of the office.