Nobody's Bunker

Nobody’s Opinion;

“In the practical art of war, the best thing of all is to take the enemy’s country whole and intact. To shatter and destroy it is not so good. Hence, to fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence. Supreme excellence consists in braking the enemy’s resistance without fighting.” ---Sun Tzu, THE ART OF WAR

Not a particularly good news day, was it? While China was flexing its muscles and shooting down satellites, and our nuclear ships were racing over to the Persian Gulf, I was out shopping around for a gas fireplace.

It seems I’m the only one around here that is concerned about the future.

I have no knowledge whatsoever of gas fireplaces, so I went over to my neighbor’s house (Ray) to talk to him, because recently, while we were freezing with our log fireplace, he was cozy and warm with his gas one.

Okay, I was jealous.

Ray and I got to talking. I told him about how I wanted to set a room aside in our basement for a “bunker” because, well, losing electric was one thing, but if something happens…I want to have a place to hang out with a decent bed to die in.

(That is, if the National Guard lets me.)

Of course, he proceeded to tell me that all I shouldn’t listen to all that “conspiracy” theory stuff, why, “Nothing will happen to us,” he said, “You’re really silly.”

He was treating me like a child.

I also heard this same theory from a relative who told me, “Oh yes, the Muslims really hate us, but they are very smart…they will hurt the major cities with money. They won’t hurt us, we’re not powerful.”

I’m sure that what the Jews said to each other before they were lead away to the trains.

Do I tell them what I really think? Do I tell you?

Today, on the news they were showing “lists” of items, like food and water, for all the people in Texas, Oklahoma, Arizona, Kansas…to get for the incoming snow.

Snow folks.

Some of these people were STILL without electric.

I don’t know about you, I can see a few places losing power, for maybe even a day. But what are the odds that half the country keeps losing power for weeks and weeks at a time?

AND what are the odds that everyone thinks it’s just global warming, because that’s exactly what they want you to think.

This global warming stuff is coming in handy, not only for making money and starting up new industries, but soon it will be an excuse to up our taxes and control our very lives.

It’s all for our own survival, you know.

Sure, the earth’s weather is changing…maybe we are coming into another ice age…but it’s not US that are doing this change in weather stuff.

Anyone with even half a brain knows that. But boy isn’t it amazing how they can convince millions that global warming is man-made?

Pretty scary…to know that the masses are so easily controlled---but then again, nothing new historically.

Now…let’s go to another quote by William Cohen, Bill Clinton’s Defense Secretary;

“Others (terrorists) are engaging in an ecotype of terrorism whereby they can alter the climate, set off earthquakes, volcanoes remotely through the use of electromagnetic waves.” April, 1997

Yep, this nobody thinks if the terrorists can do it, so can we. I believe they can take a little storm and make it grow. They can even probably cause earthquakes. (which means they can cause tsunami’s) You don’t think they can’t?

Think…before the airplane was invented, would you have believed that 300 people could get on a plane, with tons of luggage, and fly from New York to Los Angles in four hours? No, of course not. You would have thought it preposterous.

And even if they aren’t whipping up some storms,

Just the RESPONSE to the storms has never happened in America before.

Have all the electricians died off.?

I think this blast of strange weather is being used to force us to stock up, state by state---all over the country. Now, we have ice storms coming up out of South America... And all of a sudden, every utility company in the United States is having trouble getting anything to turn on.

What a more clever way to FORCE us to prepare. Just leave us without power for several days.

But it’s not global warming that’s coming, and it’s not Jack Bauer.

If you have been watching all the internet news, it is said that the smartest move Iran could make to destroy the United States would be with a nuclear electro magnetic pulse. (EMP) In fact, they have been practicing for this very thing for quite some time.

It’s cheap, easy, and would bring the whole country to its knees. Just one bomb detonated over the middle of America would affect the whole country, and basically shut it down, without actually killing millions.

Sun Tzu would be proud.

No electric, no phone, no computers, no heat, the banks would be closed, and the food would not get delivered because the cars would not start.

Everyone that now lives paycheck to paycheck would be horribly hungry, and angry.

Of course the National Guard would come to every home and move us all into “shelters” for our own good.

Without our pets.

Maybe other nations would come to help. Maybe England, or the Aussies.

Maybe Bill Clinton would bring over his Chinese buddies to “save” us.

One thing for sure, the New One World Government would kick in pretty fast, and our traitorous leaders (from both parties) would all have positions at the top.

Actually, I think “our” government has known about this for quite some time. I think that’s what Y2K was all about. Remember how they went on and on about it? They actually had Y2K survival manuals on every single aisle at your local grocery store on how to survive the computer glitch of the century, which was going to bring perhaps a HUGE disaster…by doing the same thing that an EMP would do.

Technically cripple us.

WHY did nothing happen? Because there was no threat from a computer. It was the government’s way of getting us to stock up food and water.

When nothing happened not a word more was said. Put another story on the burner, and everyone forgot it.

I mean, NO President is going to come out and say, “Hey, get stocked up on food, water, and money, because a nuclear attack its coming and we can’t protect you. WE have nice cozy bunkers.”

They know we’d be pissed off that they weren’t building nice cozy bunkers for us, or at least trying to protect us.

Late at night while I’m writing, I hear President Clinton and Daddy Bush come on the radio every single night and suggest we all go to the government website and well…just learn to stock up on stuff. They say in case of emergencies..being careful not to “scare” us.

Here locally, they have an ad on TV to be sure and get your little kids a “backpack” together, so they can be ready to take off.

Say what? Take off to where?

Like my next door neighbor, nobody around here is stocking up on anything.

First: We went through Y2K, Second: It’s been five years and nothing else has happened, Third: We just can’t believe that America will be attacked again.

President Bush says “We are fighting over there to keep them from attacking us here.”

The Democrats have never said a single word of a possible second attack on our own soil because when it happens they want to blame it on the Republicans.

Madeline Albright, Colin Powell, they are all ready to assume their new positions.

And I think President Bush and his father know that is exactly what will happen. President Bush will go down in history as the man who destroyed America.

The Jews did not believe that something could happen to wipe out an entire people. It’s not in human nature to believe such a horrible thing would be possible. And the American people, right now, just don’t believe it.

But Ahmainajad, wants just that.

Now that Rumsfled has been gotten rid of by Hillary, who wants desperately to be elected and needs almost a disaster to put her into power, this nobody believes an attack from Iran is almost imminent.

And if you think I’m a “conspiracy theory nut” then, so our all the leaders in the past four years that have said “it’s only a matter of when.”

What will the Democratic Congress do after such an attack?

Nothing. They will talk to Ahmainajad by phone, in their nice underground bunkers. .

While all us nobodies will be huddles by our log fires, waiting for the National Guard.

So, what kind of heater should I get? Vented? Or not?

Nobody’s Perfect; I know, I’m going to get the “They are just trying to use fear to control you, and you are falling for it.”

Right?

I don’t care. When I look up in the sky every day, I see cloud formations that look like something out of a Walt Disney Cartoon.

Nobody Knows; You might ask…okay Joyanna, you nut. Just how could a little tiny nation like Iran POSSIBLY hurt us, the most powerful nation in the world.

Answer: Take a look at our Congress.

Nobody Cares; Hillary said yesterday, “Know Thine enemies” Well, I’ve seen them, and watched them, for half my life. And most of our enemies are right here, in our government. The REAL enemy right now is our own government, who has shown time and again, they could care less about America. They are, the ones at the very top, globalists, first.

And to them, it’s WE who have to accept change.

And as O’Reilly likes to say, "What say we to THAT?”

Hillary Turbulence

Nobody’s Opinion: Last week everyone was talking about Obama-Osama maybe becoming the next President. Why, he’s so upbeat! He’s so articulate! He was the youngest Lawyer to go naked at a Yale sorority party! (No wait, I got that mixed up with President Bush and John Kerry at a Skull and Bones party.)

Why is Hillary over in Iraq? Why isn’t she here? Doesn’t she see is losing in the polls? The liberal reporters and Dick Morris were clearly upset.

Well, no more. Hillary gave an exclusive interview tonight with that miracle of plastic surgery; former liberal reporter from CNN turned into FOX reporter of kidnapped girls…Greta Van Suscrutan.

Since we are being sold our politicians, just like our shampoo, I tend to always look at the very well prepared background, and hair styles, and even the camera shots.

And very well prepared this was. It was done in the very ivory halls of the Senate, made to look as if Hillary was on her way to do some important Senatorial thing, and just happened to run into Greta in the halls. She runs the place don’t you know.

The giant Roman columns were all around her. (Very clever) When actually, we all know she probably spends about five minutes a week there. (if that)

The camera shots were always (except for a brief moment) showing only her neck and head, and the GOOD side of her face, that is, she must think it’s the good side. (Good idea since everyone knows Hillary is not the slim-jim equal of her comrade sister, Nancy.)

And both women had on black. Hillary had the obligatory Jackie Kennedy, string of big pearls around her neck---a true elite.

Her hair was perfectly coiffed and looked like it had at least 4 different highlights. There were a lot of back shots. (Good idea, we don’t need to see that face)

Okay…America, get ready.

Hillary wanted us to know she was one tough cookie. She went over to Afghanistan, and then got some military jet to go to Bagdad…she was told not to land in Bagdad.

Those air controllers are brave men, and obviously doing their duty to mankind.

But instead of taking the big hint, she bravely sits out the ninety minute circling of the plane, and described in great detail how she had to bear the plane zig-zaging on its landing.

This had NEVER happened on Air Force One…how dare they! This is a showdown!

She went on and on about the ride…it was rough! (Oh sure)

Whew! That was a close one! But, she said, she had full confidence in her military pilot.
Never once did she lose faith that they would land her. That a girl Hillary!

(This is to make us all feel good that she actually likes the military, unlike her husband, who hated it, and how brave she was to actually land.)

She told the pilots, if they would land her she would get them some beer! (Attempts to bond with the soldiers, and make us all feel she can be a real man!)

THEN…our brave and fearless senator, actually got into something (she never told us what) and drove down…the “highway of death.” The highway where so many soldiers have been maimed and killed.

George Washington would be proud. (What she doesn’t say is she was probably escorted by 200 tanks, and a nuclear warhead.)

She was upset because she was to meet with all the Iraq leaders and SHE WAS LATE! Gee, it never bothered her that her husband was always late to every single meeting he has ever attended in his life.

She proceeded to explain her absence because of course, she will be taking over the country soon and she wanted to see for herself what was happening. (She didn’t say ALL of this, but it was what she was thinking.)

Then she started attacking President Bush.

This was well timed; she had to tell you a wonderful story first, to get you into her charm.

Why, his policy won’t succeed, and he doesn’t even care! He refuses to talk to Iran! Why, one should always keep one’s enemies closer! (Gee Hillary, maybe you should divorce Bill and move in with Ahmadinejad! Good idea…be a patriot.)

(The Godfather movies were a big part of their Presidency.)

Those people that went over to review the Iraq situation were all bi-partisan and gave good advice! (Right, half were former Bill Clinton comrade puppets; Jordan was an especially nice touch. A board member of Revlon is needed to make sure that the gays have enough mascara.)

You never know what the gay Iraqi’s are thinking.

There is not military solution to this problem! You need political, environmental, financial, legal, interrelational, and maybe even a visit from a few of Bill’s prostitutes, to stop the violence. NO GUNS!

And then the final crescendo---“I’m an American FIRST!” (To remind us that she and her husband are not the globalist everyone thinks.) And then she proceeded to say we needed more troops in Afghanistan…completely contradicting her statement that the military is no solution.

Okay, so far, she was typically the manipulating, blow-hard, want to be ruler of the new communist country of the United States Hillary that we all are used to.

But THEN she said. “We FINALLY got rid of Rumsfeld.” Basically telling the whole world that she (and Bill and the democrats that they rule) got him kicked out.

Making the BIG mistake of thinking that it was going to score her big points with Americans.

And that is why, I, Hillary Clinton, will know how to fix this war.

After that comment about Rumfeld, I was hoping she would trip on her necklace going down her big senatorial stairs.

As for running for President, even thought she JUST DID…she promised Greta that when she announces it, she will come on Greta’s show.

Right, she will go on Oprah.

Hillary is cockier than I’ve ever seen her. And now this nobody wants to know, just when will the brave and hardy boys in the media bring up the subject that she shouldn’t even be allowed to run, because HER HUSBAND WAS PRESIDENT FOR EIGHT YEARS!

Somebody help me! There should be a constitutional amendment.

It’s the only thing that will stop her. Actually, I really feel now, she is so gone with ambition, that if she finds out she might NOT be President….

Don’t be surprised if we all wake up one day, and the White House is …gone.

Nobody’s Perfect; Hillary has practiced hard to get rid of her annoying voice. Now she has to practice getting rid of that stupid habit she has of waving her head all around. I felt like I was watching a white Stevie Wonder in drag.

Nobody Knows; If the Clinton machine can be stopped, I think they realize they have to stop the bloggers, because if they don’t, we are going to be a BIG problem to Hillary.

Nobody Cares; One shot did tickle me. They showed a shot of Hillary sitting next to all these big shots in the Iraq government, and she looked so small and puny, and her hair was all flat. She did not look at all Presidential, she looked…weak.

It was a good moment.

The Nebula of Bindi Irwin

Nobody’s Opinion; While I was trying to catch up on all the news on MND after the electrical meltdown here in St. Louis, I read all the comments to “The Exploitation of Bindi Irwin, Crocodile Hunter’s Daughter.” This was just as fascinating as the flurry of opinions it invoked. This got me to thinking, about my own “exploitive” life as a little girl, and whether that hurt me as an adult.

A very good article it was, by our very prolific procurator, Ray.

In fact, my brain starting spinning, and one idea lead to another, and so here is what many would call a brain session on Bindi and her exploitive mother.

First: When trying to understand any situation, it is always a good policy to put yourself as the old American Indian proverb goes, in the other guy’s moccasins, something that so many people never do, but I’ve found it a good starting point in listening to any argument. (Hint, hint)

So, let’s put ourselves in Bindi’s and her mother’s shoes, starting right off.

They have just lost their whole world. Steve Irwin was such a huge bundle of energy, personality, intelligence, business savvy, and love, that he literally dominated the whole world. Can you imagine his personal present? Can you imagine losing your soul mate: that is if you had actually found her? Well, if you’ve never had it, it will be hard to imagine, but try.

His wife is grieving, it’s all over her face; and she will grieve for the rest of her life. Much like Yoko Ono still grieves for John Lennon. She will NEVER find another Steve and she knows it. But this whole giant conglomerate is now on HER shoulders.

Let’s face it, one read of the men on MND and you can tell that very few people in the world have met their perfect mate. And Steve and his wife were as about as perfect as you can get.

Death is very hard to deal with. (Wait guys, I’m getting to the exploitation in just a minute.)

Yesterday I was talking to my new friend Romanda, a very feisty sixty-year-old woman who, came up to me at a book signing one day, introduced herself, and the VERY next thing she said was “You know, I lost my son when he was seventeen.”

The pain, after all those years was still deep. You see, her son had climbed an electrical poll, fell, and was somehow decapitated during the fall.

So, I asked her, how did she go on with her life?

She said…pay attention…”I went back to work. It actually saved me.”

Lesson: Humans need to cope with grief. Now, little Bindi has no real concept what she has lost, she’s too young. She will later. All these projects that she is doing were being developed long before Steve’s death. The parents were obviously grooming her even at her young age to carry on in his wake. And despite the “horror” due to Hitler’s plans to dominate the world with German genes, thereby destroying any mention of genetic proclivities in any conversation (While they RACE to get the gene patents.) the scientific fact is…she is almost a genetic clone of her old man. To ask her to stop being herself, well, I doubt it would work. It’s not just the Australia money bags exploiting her; it’s her vision, in her genes, nurtured by her parents. From what I can see, pretty strong stuff.

Any one who’s had a kid knows you can’t make them even do homework, let alone work hard hours on dance routines. Bindi wants this…and in her little mind, daddy has just gone off on a long trip, and she is helping her mom…who is crying quite a lot.
(Hold on, I’ll address this too.) As she grows older, she might mourn, but she doesn’t have the memories of her mother, so the pain will never be as great.

And that’s a GOOD thing.

Second: Anyone remember Shirley Temple? A child star genius, who was so incredible talented she could dance whole routines and sing, with the same ability of her adult co-stars?

I saw Bindi on Larry King the other night. She was exceptionally intelligent. Even though her parents have instilled in here many cute phrases, that’s what parents are suppose to do. Maybe she doesn't really know the full meaning of them yet, but that's okay. She will as time passes.

Pass on their lifelong beliefs to their children when young. She was more articulate than Warren Beatty at his acceptance speech at the Golden Globes. The guy acted like he was on drugs.

I doubt she grows up to be Brittany Spears, due to all the exploitation from the media and her mom. I’d even bet you on it. She has more sense now, than Brittany, due to her parents strong sense of right and wrong.

And my educated hunch is that Brittany lacked a father in her life. (That’s another blog.)

Now, you might remember Shirley Temple, one of the most exploitive child stars on the earth, carried a whole nation through the depression. Her innocence, her laughter, her singing, gave everyone hope to go through another day. Even today, you can watch a Shirley Temple movie and come away feeling great about life.

Anyway, that’s an historical fact.

Shirley went on to use all that she had learned as a child, about meeting people, shaking hands, being polite, to become one of the most successful ambassadors to Africa that American every had. And even though her parents at the time were accused of the same thing...she always said her parents were very loving.

And by the way, let's not forget that’s why Muslims blow themselves up, because the beliefs of their parents are drilled into them from the day they are born, and continued in their schools.

I heard the other day that some soldier was asked how to solve the problem of the radicals, and he said, “You had to blow them up, and their children.”

Now, that’s too harsh, we agree, but there is a reality in his statement.

The human brain forms most of it’s personality by the age of three. According to Dr. Lee Salk, a child psychiatrist, and Jonas Salk’s (the Salk polio vaccine) brother who was one of our nation’s first men to get his children in custody fight. (Yes guys, he helped you out by setting the precedent.)

It’s a fact. That’s why it is SO important for one spouse to be with the child at all times during the age of one through three. If your child is put in a day care center, you will get a child with the States view of the world, not yours. All communists’ countries know this, and put the kids in state nurseries from birth. Hillary and Bush are implementing this, very slowly, but it will come.

So…guys, if YOU can’t be with your child, be thankful that your child is being raised by its mother for the first three years. That’s why alimony is a double edged sword.

The man gets wacked, but so does the kid, because the baby has to be put many times in day care, because the mother has to go back to work to eat.

But then sometimes the mothers wants to go back to work and not be there instructing the first years of life…and that’s another problem.

Is it any wonder why our nation is dying? Millions of women are now in the work force, millions of babies being raised by the state, or in day care centers where people have no idea what they are doing. A bonified golden plate for the nanny state that has crept in.

If you want a good scare about how serial killers are developed, I’d advise you to read “High Risk, Children Without a Conscience” by Dr. Ken Magid and Carole A. McKelvery.

Something that Madonna should have read before this last adoption. This book will bring you enlightenment about the formation of the young brain. It did me.

On the other hand, (back to the guys) if the mother hates you after the divorce, you’ve got a big problem. My heart goes out to you. The only answer is, chose your mate wisely, because you are right, the stakes are against you in every court.

Don’t go picking Brittany Spears wanna-be’s to be your wife.

Now, back to Bindi.

Anyway, as everyone has said, Bindi is enjoying this, and seeing Bindi enjoying this is helping her mother deal with her pain. Having a child stay home and play with Barbie (please) is condescending. If Bindi can cope with the pressure, and is a example to all the little children in the world to love animals, to dance and sing, and have fun, well…then who are we to take away her fun and tell her to …..Go and cry, its okay. Go feel miserable.

Go be a normal little kid. Do nothing all day, and play with your dog. Please, spare me.

Who are we to deprive the millions of children who will see her as a role model?

And from someone who has been there, done that…laughing and developing confidence in one’s abilities sure beats moping and crying about life. I for one am SO glad God has blessed her with this genetic fortitude.

Third: Of course she is being exploited! Ray is right. By anyone who can make a buck off her! Soon there will be little Bindi dolls. And Bindi clothes to put on the dolls, and Bindi plastic animals to put in little Bindi jungle girl wagons….so what? She will get part of that money, and her mother will put it away for her, just like Shirley Temple’s parents had done. Shirley Temple dolls bring a fortune now.

Bindi, it is so blatantly obvious…wants to do this! Little girls love to dance, to sing, to talk…gee, where have you guys been? You want to deprive her of that because some big corporations are making big money off her?

I would not tell my daughter that…NO…you will be used…you don’t have to work, you’re too young.

“But Mom…I LOVE IT!”

No mother who loved her daughter would refuse. Especially if her mother thought that it was actually good for her.

All her mother can do right now is try to managed it all while grieving herself, and know that her daughter is going to carry on all her husbands dreams of a better world. Right now, Bindi is carrying her mom too, but that’s okay. Forget what all the psychiatrists have told you.

Ronald Reagan carried his father (who was an alcoholic) for all his years growing up. It made him a great man. Some of us can handle it, some of us can’t. It’s all in our makeup.

Many rich families teach their children to read the stock market as soon as they can.

James J. Cramer, that money guru on your television sets, started making money in stocks at nine. His fathers helped him out…and now look at him. Sometimes the proclivity towards a certain love shows very early.

Oh and by the way, Shirley Temple dolls still bring in a fortune…I bet there are grandchildren real happy about that fact.

Fourth: Now, here’s comes the exploitation of children.

When I was five and my brother was seven, my mother decided to give us dancing lessons---it was HER dream, not ours. You see, she had wanted desperately all her life to be a ballerina, and had been accepted into a very good school in New York. She studied very hard in high school, and managed to graduate a year early just to go.

But, the summer before she was to leave, she had an accident. She busted her kneecap on an open door.

That was the end of her dreams.

So, when she had my brother and me, she gave us ballroom dancing lessons. I was five and my brother was seven, and we got good enough to dance at the Boom-Boom Room every week at the Fontainebleau Hotel on Miami Beach. We only got fifty dollars for it.

Unlike Bindi, I was shy and full of low self-esteem. But, I was forced to learn to shake hands, hold conversations with adults, (and many famous movie stars) be polite, and think on my feet. If my brother made a mistake during our routine, I had to learn how to cover it up.

Looking back on it now, I would have rather been out playing in the woods.

Still, those life lessons I learned performing, were just as important as learning to swim. And the younger you get them started, the better.

Tell me, did you think Tiger Woods was exploited? Remember his father had him on all the TV shows when he was young. At the age of four, I believe. Tiger never thought so.

How many of you golfers are thankful that Tiger’s father exploited him? What makes Bindi any different? Because she’s a girl?

Anyway, back to nobody…my brother and I continued to be professional ballroom dancers until we graduated from High School. We both taught at Author Murray’s dance studios. My brother still makes a living off of teaching dancing.

In conclusion, so many of us are leaving our kids to do just as they like. Play video games till they drop, never asking any responsibilities of them. Treating them with kid gloves, as if they will break if they don’t get to play.

Learning how to work when you are young is just as important if not more so. Because if you grow up after having nothing ever expected of you, life will hit you REAL hard, and you will probably be more inclined to do drugs due to low self-esteem.

AND that’s what fathers are the best at teaching.

My mother used to tell me how unfair her father was to her. She wanted a horse. He told her she would get five dollars for every bushel of dandelion weeds she picked out of the yard. It took her all year and endless days of picking weeds to get enough money to buy her own horse. But she did it. She bought her “Lady,” a beautiful mare.

While she was working, her older brother got a new car for free, in fact, everything was handed to him. Boy, did she hate him.

Guess who wound up owning and running her father’s company? Her brother died a pathetic alcoholic. Never knowing what hit him.

Only a parent can know how much a child can take. Bindi’s mother will have to decide when to say when.

Trust me, in a while, someone will REALLY take advantage of Bindi and her mother will snap out of her grief and get going…and take over more of the promotion of the world that she and her husband built. Her maternal instinct will kick in.

Give her a little time. She’s only human.

In the meantime, enjoy the blossoming of a truly adorable little girl, who will survive this, and lets give her the chance she deserves…don’t rule her out because you want to protect her, or because she’s young.

I’m not. I’m going to say, in the words of Rona Barrett’s “You go girl!”

Steve, you done good. Sit back in heaven and guide her.

And while you’re at it Steve---send her mother a sign.

Nobody’s Perfect; Okay, I’m ready…blast me.

Nobody’s Knows; I once read a statement by the great pianist, Author Rubenstein, who said every time he played a piece on the piano he was bringing into to it all his own life’s experiences.

That’s what we all do. We can only judge the world by what WE know. But…everyone is not us. It helps if we all examine our own past and how it has influenced our thinking when dealing with trying to explain the actions of others.

No one has mentioned the little boy in all of this. Will he be quiet like his mom? Will it be hard to grow up under Bindi's star? You bet it will. If anyone is going to have a hard time in this, it will be him.

Nobody Cares; My brother did drop me on my head one time while practicing an overhead difficult lift…that could explain everything. (Go ahead, that’s a freebee.)

Nobody’s Opinion; Last Thursday night, I was getting ready to upload my post (which was about my anticipating the television program, 24…) Here is the last part of it:

*******
-----“Anyway, I have more than 24 hours before the first episode of 2007, and the electric just went off again.

They are telling us here in St. Louis that ONCE again due to the upcoming “ice” storms this weekend we should be expecting more power outages.

Watch--- just about the time, on Sunday night, when I will be all excited, and ready for the show, the electric will go off.

That’s when I will be having a real Jack Bauer moment. I might have to go and buy a generator.”
********

You guessed it, minutes after I wrote that, we lost our electric again for …days.

This was the third time in St. Louis in less than six months. Unbelievable.

But this isn’t going to be about the horrible conditions of America’s electrical grid, and the continuing poor service from a utility company that in years past, one never lost power for more than four hours, ever. This is not going to be about the fact half the continent of America is covered in ice due to some strange phenomenon of moisture floating up from South America, or about the fact that thousands of elderly were trapped miserably inside homes, hiding under mountains of blankets, in the dark, using their gas stoves as their only heat because they are paying such high property taxes and living off their social security and they can’t afford to buy generators or firewood. It’s not going to be about the fact that, not only is our utility company still charging everyone for the week we had no electricity, but they plan on raising their rates: or that President Bush is going to mention global warming in his upcoming State of the Union Speech.

It isn’t going to be about the National Guard setting up camp in many American cities so we can get use to them, or the millions of dollars of damage to cars, property, and electronic equipment due to surges. (including mine.)

I am NOT going to talk about how now, every American home is going to have to have generators due to the fact that our infrastructure is starting to resemble Iraq’s.

No, this is going to be about a bird named Sunny.

Sunny is my adorable yellow parakeet. (In parakeet terms, she is a Lupino, which was probably thought up by a lupy Mexican.)

I got her as a present four years ago for my birthday from my son. Actually, I got her and her “brother” who died when he was three…just one day. There he was, dead.

I cried so much at the Vet’s I’m sure he thought I was on his “permanently deranged wacko customers” list.

So, when Sunny got sick, I took her to a bird expert (I didn’t want to cry again in front of my local vet.) who said, “Take her home, give her this water to drink, and come back in two weeks. Be sure to keep her warm. Put her by a lamp. DO NOT TURN THE LAMP OFF.”

“Oh, and that will be $150.00.”

Okay, not wanting Sunny to end up like her poor brother, I went out and spent more big bucks on a new cage and all the stuff in it, and put her next to a cozy lamp.

Still, Sunny did not improve much. Maybe I was slowly cooking her.

So I took her back…and then they said, “Oops, so sorry, we missed this the first time, because we did learn this in school--- that it’s very hard to see and to catch, but we know no… Sunny has mega-bacteria. Take her home, keep her warm, birds body temperatures are around 106, so 86 degrees would be good. Give her this medicine for a month. Oh, and that will be $156.00.”

The extra six dollars was for their genius guess work.

“Will she live?” I asked. No answer.

There goes that dental work that my dentist said I should get so as not to lose a back molar. Maybe I can glue it.

So, the next day, the house was still…okay. But, by nighttime, it was getting really cold.

But…we’re AMERICANS! We’re tough! We were going to light a fire, cover all the windows with huge blankets. I Tuck-taped open doorways with plastic to seal off the only room that had a fireplace. Why, this would not last long…not after the two times we had already been through it, surely they had gotten the bugs worked out.

I was feeling rather ingenious in putting up all grandmas’old blankets over all the windows for extra insulation.

“See honey!” I told my husband, “ I knew I would use them someday!”

Nice idea, but it didn’t work. This house is so old; somewhere in its forty year history it has more open leaks than Congress. Just stand in front of any window, and you might as well be outside.

And the fool that designed the house put the fireplace right next to the big back door window leading into the backyard.

What an idiot. Of course, we know nothing much about fire places since the last time we used it was last November 30th, but Sunny wasn’t sick then.

What we found out is that there is only so many logs you can put on, and then about 20 minutes later, you have to put two more on. And sleeping on the floor or on a sofa…face it, is no fun. Not when you have to get up every 20 minutes to light the fire so you don’t freeze to death.

And going into the bathroom was almost torture.

I had the bright idea to burn old bowling pins, which actually burned better than the logs.
(What, you mean you don’t collect old bowling pins?)

But as you can guess, keeping a bird who is suppose to be kept at an even 86% in a room about 32 degrees, for days on end, is like trying to chew gum and eat a Snickers Candy Bar at the same time.

The first night I got Sunny about as close to the fire as I could, until I looked down and noticed that the wooden legs of the furniture that his cage was sitting on, were buckling from the heat.

Oops.

Once, during the night, my husband in his delusional state of “no-sleep, damn it’s cold,” looked up into the cage and thought he saw a dead bird, when it really was the water bottle.

That did it.

I wasn’t about to spend a fortune on a fifteen dollar bird, only to lose it because my local electric company was more worried about it’s stock holders, thereby eliminating the yearly tree trimming off the lines that they USED to do…

The next morning we checked into a “pet” friendly hotel.

Heat, glorious heat.

Of course, being true to my gender, I took half the house with me. Our room was on the sixth floor, and we were lucky to get it, because over 200,000 were out here.

Sunny and his friends were set in front of a huge mirror, right by the heater, which they enjoyed immensely. And I got to see 24, which I would have missed had I stayed at home.

And even though I missed blogging, our dogs were real entertaining. They decided to fight each other like the bull dogs that they aren’t..and I ended up with one dog on one bed, and my husband with the Eskimo on the other.

Dog fights in hotel rooms? What would the neighbors think?

And going down six flights at all hours, hoping that your dog will find the 2x2 foot of grass appealing somehow, is not exactly as fun as opening the back door.

One dog we had to CARRY down because she freaks out whenever you put a lease on her. Dog whisperers we are not.

All in all, the hotel was great. I met lots of people, sat in a hot tub full of mysterious bubbles which could have been contaminated by SARS for all I knew, and got to have a wonderfully hot bath, in a pretty nice tub.

So, there you go. The reason nobody has heard from me.

You might say that I ran to a hotel, because of my concern about Sunny, but you would be wrong.

I am, like most Americans, am spoiled rotten. My x-navy seal husband is just as spoiled, if not more so. We like the heat, our cells phones, our televisions, our computers, and food that is not spoiled.

Three strikes to St. Louis and we have finally learned our lesson…we are going to buy a “gas” fireplace and put it in our bedroom, so when the next outage comes, as it seems to be getting to be the norm here in St. Louis, we can stay in bed, and just move the birds.

We might not come out.

What other lesson did I learn?

I’ve been thinking. I think that the very rich and spoiled bin Laden is not in some cave. You can’t tell me he is sitting night after night in a cold and damp cave.

No, don’t you believe it. He is in a hotel room somewhere in Dubai, where he has all the comforts a man could want. Those silly pictures of him walking through the sand are propaganda. And IF they are not, then he is a very stupid man.


Now, just watch. I’ll post this tonight and tomorrow the New Madrid will produce a 8.5 earthquake, and once again we will be in the cold, but this time without plumbing.

Now, that’s when I will be having a real Jack Bauer moment. The first time, I was just kidding.

Nobody’s Perfect: Have you ever noticed that when people’s houses are burning down the very first thing they want to save is their pets? I’d go back inside probably for a pet turtle. This is about as illogical as it gets.

Having said that I would probably also add, “Well good, at least we got rid of that rat.”

Nobody Knows; Just how many people are suffering tonight in this bitter cold, or when our leaders will stop worrying about Iraq’s infrastructure and electric, and fix the electrical grids here. Get some of these lines underground, for a start.

Nobody Cares; Sunny is still kicking. She is sitting right behind me, next to her lamp, sleeping. She was worth every penny. There is nothing like waking to the sound of birds singing at the top of their happy lungs, just happy to be alive. We could take a lesson from them all.