Friday, May 02, 2008

Time Takes Too Long

Nobody Flashes Anymore: It seems lately, the world has been speeding up so much that according to NASA we are coming into a "cooling" period, so global warming is just going to have to wait a few years...

Also, many people have been seeing spaceships, more so than usual. Here we see a alien who swears John McCain is his kid by a wonderful woman he met in Sweden around the turn of the century...

It's been one of those weeks: so just for fun, I thought I'd give you a few things to think about, pertaining to time...excerpts from the book "Durations" by Stuart A. Sandow.

1-It took 4 hours for the Titanic to sink.

2-1 year to build a Steinway piano

3-.000000004 of a second for the subatomic particle k-meson to form, travel, and disintegrate within an atomic nucleus.

4-1 second for a star to die and disappear (minimum time)

5-12 seconds to land a commercial airliner, landing 200 feet in the air, 3,000 feet from the end of a runway

6-19 hours for the Earth to turn 285 degrees on its axis.

7-25 days for Handel to compose "The Messiah"

8-50 years to replace a forest destroyed by fire.

9-10,000 years between ice ages

10-15 minutes for a stripper to burn 36 calories

And last but not least: It takes ten billion years before the Earth is no longer able to support life due to the impending death of the Sun.

For some of us having to sit through the Obama-vs Hillary Presidential debate...that's not soon enough.


Thursday, May 01, 2008

Mixing Mexico With Flowers!

Nobody’s Opinion: It’s come at last…Mexico has come to my neighborhood.

And not just in a small way, either. They just dropped it down like a big pile of mashed potatoes, right in the middle of my green beans.


You see, here in my little dying suburb town, much like many across America, we’ve had a traditional spring festival that has been going on for forty-four years. Ours is called “The Valley of the Flowers.” Who knows why it started, but probably because someone wanted to sell some tomatoes, and the churches wanted to get everyone out to have some fun---as churches like to do.

Everyone around the area usually goes, to see old friends, to take their kids on the Ferris wheels, to do the cake walks and the booths, eat barbeque pork steaks, and basically get a little tipsy. It’s your typical American fair; a tradition that has gone on all over the country in all the small towns for years.

It’s apple pie, it’s Pollyanna---it means that America survives. It’s tradition.

Since the area was mostly white, the fair was attended by mostly white people every year. But as the years have gone by, the blacks from the city moved out into the North of St. Louis, mainly because the schools all closed down…all sixteen of them. Now the population is mostly black. But the blacks have stayed away from this festival. They still don’t like to mix with the whites, even though they have moved into all the neighborhoods in the area. They outnumber the whites two to one, but still they stay away, which is really strange.

These are not poor blacks. Most of the blacks have good jobs with the vast governmental systems set up here. More of them have degrees here than the whites and more of them make good money due to affirmative action. They have nice houses, and SUV’s, and nice pensions.

The white jobs have all been lost. The Ford Plant closed down, and McDonnell Douglas has disappeared. Many of the whites have moved away, but many like me, remain.

Anyway as a rule, the Valley of the Flowers draws about 25,000 people over a three day weekend. But this year they are expecting a whopping 125,000 because someone has decided that the Cinco De Mayo festival that used to be held forty miles away, down in the city for the Spanish people, is now going to merge with our local Valley of the Flowers festival, and instead of the usually high school band concert, we will be listening to three days of bands from Educator, Bolivia, and Guadalajara.

I suppose if you have a “gig” at the “Valley of the Flowers” festival, then you just HAVE to come…even if you have to go 3,000 miles to perform 4 hours, for free!

Okay, bear with me. So now, we have a festival that’s mostly attended by the whites, even though now, the whole area is mostly black, and someone has decided to bring in Mexicans from far away to celebrate Cinco de Mayo, at an American festival.

Who thought of this idea?

There are very few Spanish people living here, because as Los Angeles has proven, the blacks and the Mexicans don’t get along.

So what’s a better way to get the Mexicans mixing, than through a big festival right in the middle of someplace they don’t even live?

Today, May the 1st, the illegals were marching all over our country on “communist” day. But they kept pretty quiet. By now they have figured out that Bush, Clinton, Obama, and McCain are going to let them all come in after all and take over.

And after the next election, you watch. Every other program on TV will be an African American being best friends with a Mexican.

Danny Glover will have a whole new career.

That’s how they “socially engineer” us.

McCain came out today and gave a big talk today, crying, “They are all God’s creatures, let them in!” He said this as I was watching a man marching in Los Angeles carrying a Mexican flag above the America flag.

Let’s hope they don’t do that at my little town festival. They still serve beer.

Which reminds me; I met my husband due to the festival. He came in to where I was singing after spending the day at the festival drinking beer, and I looked pretty good to him…

Then he offered to carry my mixer to my car, and dropped it on my toe, and offered to pay for it!

I knew right then, I was in love....ah....spring.

So, this year I think I’ll just stay home, plant my flowers, and sing Gloria Estefan songs.

I’m getting ready---are you?

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Madonna Says She Is...

Nobody Flashes Anymore!

Well--not like this! This is Madonna, who said recently, while in this very position: "I am Because We Are."

Obviously meaning she gave birth to all of us. Here, she is trying to show us how hard labor was when this happened. Unfortunately, no matter how rich she is, she cannot adopt us all.

So, America needs to fork up the money to pay for all those she cannot support.

Actually, I am Because We Are is the name of her new movie, which is about the horrible poverty she sees in all the third world countries, and she's really disgusted by the fact that America does nothing.

"I don't know what our government does period, instead of getting us in more debt and blowing up countries." she said.

Well, one wonderful thing our government has done, was disgust Madonna so much she no longer lives here.

Nevertheless; Madonna's movie has very propitiously put the focus on world poverty just in time to help that noble of all nobles, Barack Obama. Barack has sponsored a bill that our House of Representatives has already passed---Bill S.2433, known as the U.N's Global Poverty Tax.

Obama as far as I know has not been asked one question about this bill anywhere...and why is that? If this bill passes, it means to raise $845 billion from the already overtaxed Americans...but no fear... it will help set up a regular U.N "Peace Force" and the end of the second amendment as we know it.

Why stop at global poverty when you can take guns, sovereignty, and get lectured to by a woman who can't remember where she left her money purse?

I think she's found it.

Ben Stein needs to hurry up and make another movie called "There is No intelligent Life" and get Madonna to star...I bet she would get an Oscar.


Tuesday, April 29, 2008

President Bush's Unfair Advantage

Nobody’s Opinion: In an early morning press conference to discuss our country’s economical state, President Bush kept repeating his same old tired message; (evidently imprinted on the back of his eyelids) that the U.S. must not become protectionists, we must not become isolationists, we must have free trade or else.

Spoken like a true Harvard man. Remember, President Bush has an MBA degree from the HBS (Harvard Business School) which positions itself as the leading trainer of the world’s leaders.

Every time Bush comes out and says that America will benefit with free trade, I just have to laugh…just exactly what Americans is he talking about?

Half our population works for the government. Our schoolteachers, firefighters, policemen, and all those others that work for hundreds of huge monolithic government departments and many whose sole job is to not find solutions to anything, because they would put themselves out of a job if they did…have nothing to trade.

Then there are the few small business owners that compete with the huge franchises…the Home Depots, Wal-Marts, grocery conglomerates, etc. The postage alone would bankrupt them.

And just how many “service” workers are going to do business with Columbia? Is Starbucks going to send down some coffee beans?

President Bush’s Harvard degree actually gives him has an unfair advantage over most American people, because Harvard has been training its leaders to memorize a most important concept called “The Power of Unfair Advantage.”

In the introduction of the book “The Power of Unfair Advantage” by John L. Nesheim, Arnold Schwarzenegger says: “You have to create a need for yourself, build yourself up. While their empire goes on, slowly, without realizing it, build your own little fortress. And all of the sudden it’s too late for them to do anything about it.”

Got ya!

President Bush is basing our foreign policy on this simple business concept. Next time you see a CEO or a politician talk about free trade, watch their eyes…they just light up like a hot night in Vegas. They sweat on just the thought of China’s 1.3 billion potential consumers--- with a growing middle class who are now going to buy from General Electric, Ford Motors, and Hanna Montana. Sweet visions of their stock options portfolio is almost more than a Ralph Lauren suit can bear.

Of course, to get at this market, our politicians had to sell out American workers, but it’s a sacrifice they were willing to take, and take---and take again.

The vast new endless global markets in their eyes, give them that “unfair advantage” of setting up “fortresses” of manufacturing companies and then, accordingly, all these communistic countries will become democratic countries, and we’ll be safe from attack.
At least that’s the plan. So—is it working in China?

Without a shot being fired, we now depend on China for everything. Instead of China becoming more democratic, America is becoming more…communistic.

Who has the unfair advantage now?

And while these multinational companies are making trillions in other countries, America goes broke.

Not one of them seems to care at all.

But when the business concept of ‘unfair advantage’ is applied by a government onto its own people, it's not fair at's called totalitarianism. No matter how many bloggers, writers, protesters, and television media talk show hosts complain, it will never make much difference, because our government has patiently set up their vast “fortresses” to the unfair advantage that they now hold. Most of us answer to one electric company, one water company, one energy policy, one commerce department, one school system, and a media controlled by just a handful of the very powerful.

And when a government has set up a firewall of unbreakable unfair advantages, you can have all the free speech you want…it means abso-bloody-lutely nothin’.

At least that’s this nobody’s opinion.

The book also says; “Wise leaders know that in order to continue to win, the leaders must attack themselves, one of the principles of the defender strategy.”

Heck, why don’t they just make Reverend Wright President and save the world faster then? It seems this lesson has become everyone’s favorite.

No, the power of unfair advantage is not just the profile of a Dolly Parton, or the updated policies of eminent domain, or the unfairness of affirmative action…it’s a handful of Harvard business school graduates thinking they are creating a New World Order with their clever business practices, and maybe they are…but to whose advantage?


Monday, April 28, 2008

Welcome to the The Green Twilight Zone

Nobody's Opinion: I finally figured it out. The recent writer's strike wasn't actually a strike after all...somewhere there was a big meeting where all the writers, politicians, the United Nations, Newt, Nancy, Gore, and the Reverend Wright.. all got together to discuss how to write in global warming and energy concerns into all their movie and television scripts.

As if the world depended on the message, they now have to put into all our favorite weekly sitcoms global warming, and "giving."

I admit, when I heard that my old favorite show, 24 was going to put a woman in the script as President, I said.."Well, that's it! Just see if they get ME to watch it...NO WAY!" And then, Mr. Sutherland's boy went to jail...and then we found out that they are not going to play the popular series until right before Hillary's running against McCain, sometime in late influence us at the voting booth.

And Hillary and Bill sitting in the Soprano's last show diner was just a fluke...right.

Being as I'm the only one on the blogs that seems to be onto this whole thing, I've nothing to lose here. We are being massively "socially engineered" and no one seems to be upset besides me and Ben Stein.

For example: In one of my favorite shows "Bones" tonight...the main character (who plays an anthropologist) said that she made so much money, she was going to put it in a tax shelter in the Cayman islands. But at the end of the show, she saves a dying hick town, by using her hard earned money to build a bridge to the town. (a bridge that had closed due to dwindling tax payers) The Senator she called, never called back.

Of course, they could have left that whole scenario out, but the writers wanted us to "relate." The message: some of you rich folks go in and give these poor middle class people money, because the government is still working on New Orleans!

Don't hold your breathe.

Then my other favorite program "Medium," started out with a classroom talk about energy. How windmills, and electric, and all this wonderful stuff runs our very lives. It was written as a third grade level science class lesson and had nothing to do with the show whatsoever. It was blatantly aimed at children.

The main character, a psychic named Alice, continue to talk about how all our oil comes from dead animals, which now is being pretty much debated as total nonsense. (Lots of dead dinosaurs walking around in those Oceans long ago.) But, like The Big Bang Theory, it will go on being taught as truth when in fact, many scientists now think oil is literally everywhere.

Then Alice's husband, (played by the wonderful actor, Jake Weber) Joe, has started his own company (since he lost his other job as an engineer) with a very pretty woman venture capitalist and then he invents some sort of energy saving devise. Right away, he hands over his control to this woman, (which is exactly what the big boys want anyone with some idea to do) and waits on his "patents."

Sometime during the hour long program...Patricia Arquette, (who plays Alice) when she is sitting in her car, makes a statement a vehicle is basically a moving gas bomb. Then she has a dream that it blows up, with her kids in it.

This has NOTHING to do with the plot.

Can you imagine what this is doing to young kids that are watching this program little minds? The subliminal message is: cars blow up, they're bad, they are moving bombs.

I've got to hand it to them. They somehow still manage to stick a story into the plots, and all the environmental green garbage that they can spit out, gets stuck in the cracks and crannies.

I guess the government is now paying for each and every single environmental plot and sentence muttered by main characters on TV... much like the corporate showings of Coke.

Wouldn't that be a trip if we found out that we the taxpayers are actually paying to have ourselves brainwashed?

And since there are so few really good programs on anymore, what are you going to do? Watch reruns of American Idol?

And as I was driving on the highway today, and noticing the nifty new huge solar powered speed limit signs put up everywhere...I got to thinking that the old ones were just fine. Each new solar powered sign must have cost at least ten-thousand dollars, as compared to maybe one hundred dollars for the old ones.

And the old ones worked just fine.

Add this to the fact that when the rich pay their "carbon dollars" to some country, what happens more often than not is poor people have to give up their homes so that they can plant eucalyptus forests, to make the rich feel better.

So, in the end, to try to remain sane, my husband and I turned on Tombstone. We stared arguing over, like a good wife and husband will do...when Val Kilmer walks up to Ringo the cowboy to kill him towards the end of the movie...I think he says:"I'm your Huckleberry."

And my husband says he says, "I'm here Huckleberry."

Neither one of us will concede he is wrong. We rewound the moment over ten times. I even made him close his eyes and listen. I told him "HEY..I'm a musician, I have sensitive ears!"

To which he answered.."There's no music here."

I hate it when he makes such logical remarks.

But I'm right. And I'm right about all this mass brain-washing too..Goebbels would be proud.

So, I could be insane. Yes, most defiantly. I agree. Popcorn please. Keep the green light on for me...I might not come out.

Or..maybe I'm really living in the twilight zone.

Care to join me? In my twilight zone, there are many colors!


Sunday, April 27, 2008

Nobody Reports on a Monday: Movies and Queens

Nobody’s Opinion: I’m completely bored with Obama and Hillary. I wish they’d go take a cruise ship to Fiji, throw chicken wings at each other across the dinner table, and leave us all alone for awhile. So I’m talking about something else on this Monday…movies.

Have you ever noticed that when you have a favorite movie it ages with you? You can see it at different times in you life, and you see things you never saw before?

For instance: The first time I saw, Gone With the Wind, boy---did I hate Scarlett O’Hara! She was cruel, narcissistic, and manipulative---while Melanie her opposite, was kind, sweet, and had the disposition of a saint! I wanted to be just like Melanie. I was so glad when Rhett finally left Scarlett at the end of the movie, I was shouting, “Serves you right you ninny!”

Then I grew up.

And the older I got, the better Scarlett got to looking, and the more worthless Melanie seemed to be in the scheme of things. As I got older and life got tougher, it was Scarlett, not Melanie that I wanted to have more of in me. It became clear that without the toughness of Scarlett, her whole family would not have survived.

Last night, being bored like I said with politics, I watched “The Queen” with Helen Mirren for the second time. (She won an Oscar, and well deserved) I noticed a few new things…things that made me think: Was history being reported here or changed?

The film is mostly the subject of Princess Diana’s Death, and the scripted reactions of Tony Blair, The Queen, and Prince Charles to her car crash.

While the film did a wonderful job portraying the Royal Family as a royal bunch of pain in the “arses,” it also very much reflected the feelings of everyone on the planet at that time. Since the Queen would not come out and pay any respects to the Princess, people thought she was beyond human. The question of a continuation of the monarchy was posed in the film, and what I noticed the second time around was that very subtly, the institution of monarchy was reinforced as a noble tradition.

The way they did this in the script was truly a work of “art” in itself.

In the film, Prince Charles comes off as a whimpering mummy’s boy, a very kind and loving soul. The real fact is that Prince Charles has always come off just as much a snob as his mother...but not in this film. In this film he is a great guy.

I really don’t think any person in history was mourned as much as Princess Diana, and the reason everyone in the world was in such grief was because in the back of our minds, many thought they had just killed her.

Well, why not? Diana had delivered heirs, and Charles the consummate snob could go and marry his true love, which he did. Diana even said they were going to kill her.

It’s Tony Blair in the film that goes on this sympathy trip in for how the Queen has worked so hard for so many years and how greatly she had done her job.

All that tea drinking...really. Tony Blair saves the monarchy. Paintings on the castle walls, rejoice!

Well, The Queen is no Gone With the Wind, but it did remind me that we have two Queens now running in our own country for President. Obama’s wife certainly acts like a Queen, and Hillary, well, there’s no question she would be a Queen for life if she could.

I just wish we could go back to being a Republic…(sigh)

Only in the movies.

Nobody Perfect: Last week, every one was mad at Jimmy Carter because he was kissing up to all kinds of Hamas leaders. Somebody needs to put some ecstasy in this guys’ coffee. I’m all against drugs…but in his case we should make an exception. I think it’s time, Jimmy got high on something else besides himself.

Nobody Knows; California is on fire….AGAIN! How many times does this make? It started with Bill Clinton was leaving office and hasn’t stopped. So---who is starting these fires, and what’s the real purpose? Is it al-Qaida? Is it illegal Mexicans firefighters trying to get work? Does Ted Turner need more land?

Nobody Cares; If you got to see Craig Fergusion host the National White House Correspondence Dinner…you’d know why I think comedians would make better politicians. Dave Barry runs every year, and every year no one votes for him…What’s wrong with us?

Nobody Wins; Jesse Jackson is closing down New York City with racial riots…AGAIN. If I were Mayor Bloomberg I’d charge every single demonstrator a fine for walking in the city. Hey---he has a fee for everything else?

Nobody's Fool: It seems Cindy McCain’s father’s fortune financed John McCain’s run for the Presidency. Ross Perot, who was good friends with McCain and his first wife, never forgave John McCain for dumping her when he got back from Vietnam.

Evidently, John McCain became Scarlett O’Hara, somewhere in the jungles of Saigon.

And don’t even compare Hillary to Scarlett…Hillary is more like Attila the Hun-- with botox.