Saturday, September 25, 2010

Nobody Gets Email: Joe Biden--saving the jobs of Cattle Guards!

Nobody Flashes the mind of Joe Biden....even he doesn't flash it too much, which is a good thing, since he thinks that he is actually "third" in line to take over as President if anything should happen to Obama.
This week, a favorite e-mail from my friend MONA...a real pip of a woman who should be Vice President...if we lived in another universe where Joe Biden sells used Toyotas for a living.

You will love this one, I haven't stop laughing yet.

For those of you who have never traveled to the west, or southwest, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing over that area. For some reason the cattle will not step on the "guards," probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails.

A few months ago, President Obama received and was reading a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado . The Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, so he ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the “cattle” guards immediately!

Before the Secretary of the Interior could respond and presumably try to straighten President Obama out on the matter, Vice-President Joe Biden, intervened with a request that...before any “cattle” guards were fired, they be given six months of retraining for Arizona border guards.
'Times are hard', said Joe Biden, 'it's only fair to the cattle guards and their families!'
Yes...and they want US to not reproduce!


Friday, September 24, 2010

White Farmer Gets Fined: Black Farmer Gets Honored

Nobody Knows why a white farmer, (Steve Miller) living in Georgia...growing beautiful vegetables on his own (2acre) was charged a $5,000 fine for growing those vegetables.
You think he would have gotten an award from Obama and the first Lady!
And Nobody Knows why a black "farmer" (Will Allen), who was trained at Standford with a degree in City and Regional planning, is NOT fined even though he has over 20,000 plants on a 3 acre farm in the middle of Milwaukee (along with thousands of fish, goats, ducks, chickens, bees and rabbits) ---
Nobody Knows why, not only is he NOT fined, he is listed in Time Magazine' 100 Most Influential People In the World.
It's all who you know, and what the color of your skin happens to be, I guess.
Will Allen is a good friend of Van Jones...the same man who wants communism and has worked with Obama in the White House until he was exposed as a Marxist by Glenn Beck.
With Clinton becoming a vegetarian, and Michelle giving away Okra and cucumbers as White House presents, you can understand why this future concept to revamp our National Arch in St. Louis, with a "green" island, was picked for our future city planning.
Don't worry...even though it's all being given back to nature...somewhere in here will be a place where people can "bathe" ?
Hundreds of bike paths will take you right over into East St. Louis, where the muggers can kill you MUCH easier, and the cops can chase the drug dealers on bikes.
To save the planet.
Van Jones wants all the cities turned into vegetables gardens. According to his thinking "greenhouses in the hood equals less greenhouse gases in the air" because they won't have to go far to get their food.
Everyone will get their own plot.
St. Louis...the new green Cuba....I might have to move.


Thursday, September 23, 2010

Nobody Flashes a New Tax Plan from Tom Beebe

Nobody Flashes a New Tax Plan from Tom Beebe
This is what I like to see! Here's a guy, who has giving the thought that we all pay too much in taxes a lot of thought, and came up with a plan!
Hoooray! It's only one page!
Okay, here is it. Read it, and please give the man some feedback. He will also send you an Excel program to explain the whole concept better.
Sounds good to me! As we all know, if they cut a tax anywhere, they just put it on to something else, in even bigger proportions. We can't win.
And who knows? Maybe we will have another "tea party" candidate! So, thanks to Tom. Keep up the good work!


1. All persons residing in the U.S. shall come together in units for the purpose of reporting all income from any source, each item to be identified by payer's and payee's tax number. Members of a unit need not be related, need not reside together, and a unit may consist of as few as one person. With equality as the primary goal, this act established units to be taxed, so that all persons, whether related or not, legally here or not, are taxed equally.
2. Each year congress shall set by legislation a "minimum wage" and a "tax rate".
3. The following income shall not be subject to taxation:
• An amount equal to a year's earnings at the minimum wage rate, for each adult (age 20-65) member of the unit, decreasing 10% per year to 50% at age 15 and increasing 10% per year to 150% at age 70. (Family of two adults and two young children would receive exemptions equaling 100% + 100% + 50% + 50% = 300% minimum wage, currently about $42,000)
• All payments for what is classified as necessary health care for all members of the unit including medical care, any pharmaceuticals prescribed by a recognized health care professional, vision and hearing aids, and membership fees for health-enhancing entities such as gyms or other exercise facilities. Health care insurance premiums may be deducted but not health care expense paid for by such insurance.
• All educational expenses including day care for young children or legally incompetent persons, that portion of state and local taxes identified as spent on education, that portion of parochial school tuition, fees and other expenses identified as going for non-sectarian education, tuition, fees and educational materials for private school education at any level, and a per-diem allowance for students traveling more than 50 miles from primary residence for education.
• All income saved into an identified account from which investments may be made.
This encourages growth of the tax base, thus growth of the government's ability to pay for its responsibilities, by fostering health care, education and investment, all of which contribute to growth of income, taxable to support legitimate government purposes.
4. The "tax rate" shall be applied to any income over and above the deductions listed above, regardless of amount. It seeks the elusive concept of fairness by taxing at the same rate all "disposable" income.
5. There shall be no federal tax on corporations or other business entities. August 20th was declared the point at which we, on average, end working for government and start working for ourselves. This suggests a tax rate of 63%, which would create a backlash against big government that no amount of campaigning could evoke.
6. The Office of Management and Budget shall compute revenues to be expected using the newly set tax rate and minimum wage, applied to the previous year's reported incomes. No expenses in excess of that amount may be authorized or made by the federal government without approval by 75% of each house of Congress. It sets the Federal budget to produce a surplus in times of economic expansion and a deficit in times of contraction to promote economic stability.
7. At the request, by legislation duly enacted by a municipality having greater than 100,000 inhabitants or a state, a surtax may be imposed on citizens of that municipality or state which shall be applied in a manner exactly as applied for the Federal tax. It recognizes disparity in cost of living among various locations. It facilitates sufficient sources of revenue for states and municipalities.
8. For units whose deductions exceed total income, the Federal Government shall make payment equal to the tax rate multiplied by the shortfall in income, as shall municipalities and states. This addresses aid to the truly needy.
I would expect a tax rate in the neighborhood of 35-40%. Consider how it would affect your behavior, motivating you to save for retirement, and how it would, by exempting from this high rate, encourage spending on health care and education.

Your suggestions sincerely requested. E-mail them to


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Nobody Cares if I...Go Back in Time

Yes...the Beatles...not bad for white boys.


Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Nobody Knows How Expensive Poverty Really Is

Nobody Knows this astonishing fact that I found in the very well researched and entertaining book, written by a young man, Jason Mattera---

Obama Zombies, How the Liberal Machine Brainwashed My Generation

The fact was about just how much was spent on the war on poverty...

Since the "War on Poverty" began, can you guess how much we've spent fighting it? Just a guess? That would be $16 trillion. The total cost of all military wars in our nation was $6.4 trillion. It has cost three times as much of every war the U.S. has ever fought combined.

Obama is poised to spend more on welfare in 2010 than Bush spent on the entire Iraq War. If you just gave them the money directly, it would be four times the amount every family would need to come out of poverty. Buh nah, building more and more inefficient bureaucracies is better because it creates human mousetraps to keep poor people poor and thus dependent on liberal politicians to keep the money rolling in. That's how cynical the liberal machine is.

Now...put this in context with what is going on at the United Nations this week:France, Spain, and Greece, want a global tax to combat poverty. Nicolas Sarkozy, George W. Bush's old buddy, was all for it. And Ahmadinejad blamed poverty on capitalism in his speech before the assembly.

Hillary Clinton , gave $50 million dollars to the U.N. to buy poor women stoves in other countries.

Here's the real question: where did all that money go? Where?

So, it seems clear. Keep the world in poverty, and you will make more money than God.

Global taxes...are coming. Go to Disneyworld...NOW.


Monday, September 20, 2010

Nobody's Perfect: Prince Charles...One Stalk Short of a Bennie

"Have You Hugged a Tree Today?" Marilyn Monroe.

Nobody's Perfect:
Prince Charles last week, was caught by a well-hidden reporter.

The Prince was talking while he was standing in the middle of a field. He was talking... to a nearby gigantic oak tree, when the reporter snapped this picture.He quietly turned on his recorder just in time to catch this...

"God, I love you. You are the most beautiful tree in the world...did you know that? I know...I know. I'm trying to save the earth you know. I promise, you will always be the most dear and precious thing in my life. What do you mean? I come here every single day...and sometimes twice on Sundays! are the most beautiful thing in my kingdom...I know, all those other trees can't even hold a candle to you..I love every leaf, every branch. I love the way the wind blows through your boughs."

"Yes, Camilla knows I love you, but...don't worry. She will never find out. my love. She doesn't hold a candle to you. You always smell like a fresh spring morning...How your bark feeling today? Better baby?

"Camilla tends to smell like mummy's old cough medicine. I swear lately, she has really been a pain. I come here to you my love...I'd much rather be here with know that."

"And look at this field! My little precious ones...just LOOK how you have grown? Cut you DOWN? No NEVER...I will never let you be cut down. Once I'm King, I will make it against the law to cut any plant or tree down ever again. In fact, I'm going to save the world for you... you are all my precious little children."

"GOD...if people were just as wonderful as you are...they are so disgusting...people. We need to get rid of at least 5 billion of them. I promise...I was born to save you all. Oh god, I don't ever want to leave this spot."

As the photographer took this picture, Prince Charles walked over to the tree...put his hand out, very gently and.... What happened next?

I will say no more.

But, when the photographer got back to London, obviously shaken from the thought that he might have been discovered...he read in the papers what the Prince had said that very day:

"I happily talk to the plants and trees, and listen to them. I think it's absolutely crucial. Every tree has a meaning for me. It's almost like they are your children."

Well, that explains it. He'd heard of incest in the Royal line, but never expected to witness it.

Okay, I've hugged a few trees in my nobody lifetime, and I have also been known to try to coax my flowers not to wilt...I apologized to them when I don't' get out to water them. And once, when my father cut down my favorite tree, I cried for hours.

But...If I talk to a tree, I do it because I am lonely...What the hell is his excuse? He's the frigging Prince of Wales for God's sake. And, most importantly, I would never wish billions of people to disappear from the earth, so that the world's plants and trees would thrive.

So, here's my question to you: If Prince Charles had actually came across Marilyn Monroe hugging a tree somewhere in a lonely field, and if she accidentally broke a branch in front of him..what do you think the great Prince of Wales would do?

I say...she might not have lived to kill herself.

Poor Charles...he must be lonely too. So, I'm giving out this invitation to the Prince.

Hey Chuck, you are welcome to come over to my house anytime...I have a bunch of really ugly weeds in my lawn that are getting nothing but curses from me.

I think a bit of Royal love could turn them around. It's up to you Chuck.

Hey, what's the old English saying? One step at a time?

(Nobody Makes This Stuff Up for Fun!)


Sunday, September 19, 2010

'In YOUR Pants" Washington Voo-Doo

Nobody's Opinion:
Here's the good news: The tea party is making the elites in Washington very upset. Both the established Republicans and Democratic parties are absolutely beside themselves that the Tea Party movement, which both parties are trying to ignore in their own way...somehow, miraculously voted in a true "we the people" candidate, in Delaware. So upset in fact, that none other than George W. Bush's right hand man, Karl Rove, gave her the proverbial finger and said, "She's gonna lose. This is sad and sorry."
I don't know if any of you follow Craig Ferguson, the British turned American comedian late night talk -show host, but he has a favorite saying that I would like use as an answer to follow up to Karl Rove's statement:
In your pants, Karl.
Craig Ferguson must have a direct line to Karl's pants because he has devoted half of his opening monologue every night with viciously putting down Christine O'Donnell, who just won the Republican primary in Delaware. Christine, like Sarah Palin, wants to challenge the big corporate/governmental good old boy's "in your pants, wallet, children and homes" Republican ruling elites of Washington D.C.
In your gay pants! (Come just sounds funny.)
WE THE PEOPLE would like to see the elites of both parties gone...the ones which we see all the time by their actions: other elites.
Karl Rove, just made a huge mistake. Sarah Palin has been trying to guide the people back into the Republican fold, and now Karl Rove has basically said...We don't' care what you want...we wanted Castle, because he's our pick, even though he's basically a liberal Democrat.
He said the tea party has gotten...very demanding. Like Mayor Bloomberg of New York, he thinks the Tea Party is just a fad. Rove's Elephants have all turned into Rhino's. And Rove wants the power of elected officials to HIS power, not the people's.
Well, take your dirty pants and go back to Texas.
On the other side of the elite isle, "President "Obama's numbers are down so low, he had to go to shore up the black base at a meeting of the black caucus, by telling them ..."We had a changing of the guard, now we must guard the change."
To the blacks that means, keep the powerful blacks in power and the rest of the blacks on welfare, and put more blacks in positions of power. The trouble is, even the blacks are starting to figure out the game. Many blacks get it that welfare won't last forever, and the middle class they have been handed in some cases, by unfair redistribution, will be gone.
It won't matter in the future if pants are black or white.
The message from Obama's "trip" to church today was "You cannot serve God and wealth."
I'm surprised his pants didn't catch on fire.
Elections are right around the corner and Obama is very unpopular, so the Democratic Party has sent out Bill And Hillary Clinton on all the morning Sunday Shows to shore up the democratic white base. Bill is giving out the same old tired, "The rich got richer because of George Bush, I was the best President that ever lived, and democrats are the ones who really care." speech he has been giving for years.
Oh, and the tea party is funded by a vast right-wing conspiracy.
Right, and Lady Gaga is a virgin.
The truth is: the elites in Washington control so much of the media that when something goes when a tea party's representative gets elected without the Washington elites' throws them all off balance. Glenn Beck's blackboard went over just a little too well...Rove even bought out his own today during an interview.
Yes, there was Karl Rove again today, attacking the "unqualified" Christina on TV...and as Rush Limbaugh has noted--- where were Karl's ranting attacks for the Democrats when we needed him?
In the elite progressive's global pants, Rush...that's where he was.
And now, to destroy her before she has a chance to upset their agenda's...we will be seeing Christine portrayed as a "kook who was a witch. "with the running of Bill (love those prostitutes) Maher's video.
Let's see if we have this right: We have a President who spent MOST of his adult life on cocaine, a Congressmen who ran brothels out of his house, congress and cabinet members who never pay taxes or even read bills, an X-President who worked for the Arkansas Mafia, and a X- President who by his own admission was an alcoholic...and Christina O'Donnell dabbed in witchcraft for a few months when she was what...sixteen?
I say, let's all put on witches outfits and go burn a goat on the Capitol steps.
I'll take my chances with the lesser of the many evils. If there is anywhere in the world where deep and evil spells are being cast daily, it's in the halls of the vast dark halls of Mordor, called the United States Government.
Yes, the news is good: People are really tired of all the voo-doo nonsense coming out of Washington D.C. We want them all thrown out by the seat of their very rich pants.
Voo-doo out!
The witches are coming.