Nobody's Absurdities, No. 52-State of a Sardonic Union

Nobody’s Knows: Try to make sense out of the news today. Go ahead, be my guest.

One person says one thing, and then in the very next sentence, contradicts themselves. Turn the channel, click the mouse--- you can find more absurdities in the daily news than fumbles on a football field in the course of a game.

It’s as if we are being bombarded daily with updates of a day given to you by your typical fifteen-year-old.

Anyone who believes a “Where were you?” answer from a fifteen-year-old knows what I’m talking about.

I’m trying not to take it seriously---I really am. Right now I wish I could top myself with a frozen chocolate cover, and go walking around Washington pretending I’m an ice cream cone. Maybe it would make more sense. (Okay, we won’t go there)

When I melted, I would at least be happily covered in my favorite sugar rush. I could pig out right in front of the White House, in trans-fat protest. Not to protest seems absurd.

So here in the order that it appeared to my mind are some of the news highlights of the day, which are probably not your highlights, but then again…that’s my point. Not all of us want to melt in the sun.

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You have by now heard about the guy who challenged NASA’s finding on global warming temperatures? It was reported by NASA that 1999 was the hottest year on Earth. They found this out by putting up their “temperature” measuring apparatuses’ on black tar, parking lots…you know, in the back of Buddy’s bar-be-que restaurant.

NASA's scientists learned this trick from their own fifteen-year-olds, who use the bedroom lamp for the fake thermometry readings to get out of school.

Well, when this guy challenged their findings, and NASA refused to give him information on how they were coming up with this stuff, another dumb thing to do.

Turns out, he did some research of his own, and the record is now corrected: 1934 was the hottest year on record. Along with other years in that era…long before the Hummer.

Oops....do you think Al Gore will redo his movie? Yeah, neither do I.

Now, if someone could just get the environmentalists off the backs of the guys who make those shields for the Shuttle that keep coming off…it seems the stuff they used to use is just not “environmentally” friendly. (Asbestos) God forbid any of that stuff should fall off and hit some temperature recording equipment, thereby getting a faulty Al Gore reading.

Better the Astronauts blow up on reentry than suffer asbestos exposure.

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Now that the SPP (Security and Prosperity Partnership) and the NAFTA (oh heck, forget that one) super highway have been exposed by many voices crying out at the secretive deal being made to join the three countries of Canada, Mexico, and the United States…the government officially denies any such thing as the White House trying to change the borders all by himself. Why…the Congress has been filled in on every detail!

And you are supposed to think that this means, no such thing is being done, because Congress would stop it if they knew.

(Canned laughter)

Right, that fifteen-year-old just told you he was over at his friend’s house all night, and he forgot to phone you.

What they don’t tell you is that everything now is done through the Department of Commerce…therefore no need for Congress approval, therefore, if Lockheed Martin wants to work alongside Hutchinson Wampoa, the Chinese. military “company” that took over the Panama Canal, and they want to put Radio screenings stations all up and down this NAFTA superhighway that will “never exist”, installed by the Chinese to track all and every single RFID chip item that goes up and down our country…

Congress will not care, having approved the whole thing. Their hands will be clean of the crime because the Chamber of Commerce is taking care of it.

Bill Clinton, genius that he is, used the Chamber of Commerce to give the Chinese the ability to send nukes into our cities…a topic that is never discussed at your local Chamber meetings I bet.

You have the love the absurdity of this SPP. Just whose security and prosperity is going to benefit the most from this NAFTA joining of the new slave labor the nobody's ask?

And since this is not happening…we should not care that the Amero is being designed as we speak.

It was also reported now that teachers who cannot speak Spanish are losing their jobs all over the United States.

All those teachers will lose their jobs to Spanish illegal immigrants, and they will STILL vote for democrats, and in true form to their own ignorance, will be happy when they get their first paycheck in Amero’s. Just like any other teenager.

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Ann Rice, a very famous author who made fortune writing about vampires, now works for Jesus and says she is voting for Hillary Clinton. She is pro-life.

Okay, nobody makes a bet she’s had an abortion and needs Jesus to forgive her. How else do you explain this absurdity? I’ve never read an Ann Rice book, and now I know it’s one less worry on my mind.

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And I especially like this one: Being dead now has it’s advantages. It was reported that 1.1 billion was paid out to dead farmers from the years 1999-2005 by the USDA. Ken Lay, Ted Turner, and David Rockefeller, are not dead yet, but they make lots from farm subsidies because the subsides are paid out by acre.

Just wait till they die!

Also, 40 million was giving out to people to NOT farm.

Add to this astounding fact, that the Indians are charging illegal’s immigrants, $50 dollars and up to become members of their tribe, telling the gullible immigrants that they will then be “legal” in this country, there is only one thing I can think of to do.

Write my local governor’s office, tell them I’m dead, that I was a farmer…but I did NOT farm my land for over 40 years, and now I am an official Seminole Indian, and I support my local chamber of commerce.

I need my back pay.

Send the check to Matilda Militia Warez. Make sure the check is chipped, and gets here before I melt. And they don’t even have to mail it along the NAFTA superhighway, since it will never exist. They can just send it along on a regular old run-down American highway, I don’t mind.

And hurry up, I may be dead, but I’m not stupid. Regular American dollars will be okay.

Nothing Like a White House Wedding

Nobody's Opinion: While American Astronauts are patiently floating around the earth wondering when Houston is going to decide whether fixing a hole in the space shuttle and repairing a cracked windshield is even worth the effort of a few lives...

While the Dow Jones goes down, then up, then disappears to somewhere in Japan, only to be found again going down, then being rescued by pumping gazillions of dollars from our Treasury Department in order to keep it floating, while we wonder where they got the money since all our taxes go directly to the Federal Reserve, locating in Beijing...

Where it goes to building big battleships and war stuff...

While twin sisters who own a nifty small parts supply store in North Carolina get a paycheck from the Pentagon of $999,797 dollars for tow little 19-cent washers and then decide to charge $455,009 dollars for three machine screws, only to be discovered after one sister disappears no doubt carrying the other 20 millions they got for the Allen wrench, in her brand new Escalade...

You could say "It's business as usual."

But when Dick Cheney is all over YouTube with a newly released tape in which he enumerates one by one all of the reasons why an administration should NOT go into Iraq, and how it would be a basically brainless idea, and saying it with his usual loquacious elucidations that most Democrats can only dream of...

Thereby leaving hoards of conservative, decent, hard-working people having horrible visions of the bloated Ted Kennedy dancing naked around his swimming pool with a bottle of Louie the Eight in his hand...(Not to mention what the poor soldiers might think of this)

I'd say it's an EXCELLENT time for a White House wedding. Let them all eat cake, when the plebeians watch their cars drown on the weather channel.

Nothing like a Texas vacation to give you some great ideas.

Nobody Gets Hit By Tree of Philosophy

Nobody’s Opinion: The other day, I was reading Doug Powers’ wonderful piece called “Were You Programmed to Read This?” and well, being the nobody that I am, I was certainly enlightened to know, thanks to Doug’s reporting, that some scientist somewhere has made God in his own computer image.

A God who sits around and plays not “dice,” but cosmic video games with the world, meaning he just invents us all with his joystick.

Well, who am I to argue?

How else do you explain Hillary Clinton?

Then, I stumbled on a “concept” that I had no idea had a name! The Fermi Paradox. (You must go read Doug’s piece to find out more.)

Basically, it’s just another question like---“If the universe is filled with so many stars, then where the heck are all the aliens?”

Forgetting the fact, that at this very moment, there are about 50,000 of them holding candles in Graceland--- it has been the question of just about everyone on the planet, at least once in their lifetime.

And one must also consider the fact that many millions around the planet have admitted being taken away by alien craft, especially when they couldn’t explain that unexplainable pregnancy.

“And then they put this machine on my stomach, and I saw a guy with big eyes…”

They just didn’t mention what game they were being made a part of.

“Planet Earth Raiders…I, II, and III.”

Which brings me to the question that is asked in all philosophy classes…to believe, or not to believe? That is the question.

The philosophers like to use this little ditty to ponder on while making you think. After all, there are big salaries to fill…

“If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?”

This is the clever language that professors think up to justify why they are paid the big bucks. If God really exists, but we can’t see him, have no proof of him, have no way in our little physical human five senses and pretty lowly brain to comprehend him…is he there?

What is the role of the observer in our reality? Does the “sound” have an objective reality in and of itself?

Well---being as hundreds of politicians and CEO’s make private decisions everyday, like little GOD video Sin City players, affecting millions of people’s lives all over the planet, while they fly their jets to the Bahamas and none of us ever hear a “sound” about it, I’d say the answer is pretty evident…that is, if you use our own very limited intelligence for reasoning.

But… there once was a guy named Bishop Berkeley, who took the question up to another sort of next level for the Fermi Paradox.

A guy named Ronald Knox made up a poem to explain the Bishop’s concept.

There was a young man who said, “God
Must think it exceedingly odd
If he finds that this tree
Continues to be
When there’s no one around in the Quad.”

REPLY

Dear Sir:
Your astonishment’s odd:
I am always about in the Quad.
And that’s why the tree
Will continue to be,
Since observed by
Yours Faithfully,
God.

Bishop Berkeley said, in A Treatise Concerning the Principles of Human Knowledge---

“Some truths there are so near and obvious to the mind, that a man need only open his eyes to see them.”

Tom Morris, PhD the author of “Philosophy for Dummies” says: (written just for me)

“The tree question can be used to elicit intuitions to lead us in Berkelyan directions. If a sound is listener-dependent and color is viewer-dependent, than many other things may be, in the broadest possible sense, observer dependent.”

So, a nobody asks…is there a God?

Nobody Flashback: Two days after my mother died, I was cleaning the kitchen. I remember collapsing down to the floor, in unspeakable grief, crying at my horrendous loss, and thinking only of my pain, and wondering if I would ever get out of it.

Hell, I was wondering if I could get up off the floor, before spring.

And at that exact moment, as if to answer my silent question...on the radio came my mother’s favorite song…a song that I had searched for a recording of for over thirty long years and never found.

“I’ll be loving you, always--- with a love that’s true. Always”
“When the things you planned, need a helping hand
I will understand always, always…
Days may not be fair, always, that’s when I’ll be there, always.
Not for just an hour, not for just a day, not for just a year, but always.”

I’d say God hit me with a pretty big redwood. Did I think I was getting a hand up from my recently departed mother? You bet.

Yes, a TREE hit me in the middle of my kitchen, and I wisely took it for the physical evidence that it was. I hope that I was programmed at least well enough to know a good sign of god when I hear one.

And even if it’s just a alien toying with us billions of little humans down here with a joystick, I have faith that right before the Armageddon scenario end time comes, they will get a tap on their little alien shoulders and God will say to them:

“Okay, guys, that’s enough. Go do something else.”

Who KNOWS What's in Clinton's Archives?

Nobody Flashes: Today, this very telling picture of Madelaine Albright, a woman who has bragged about how much weight she can bench press with her incredibly strong Jewish thighs, was accidentally released from the elephantine collection of Hillary Clinton's notes and e-mails from her days as First Lady/President.

Yes, the Bill Clinton "make a wish" library collection, which consists of 80 million pages of words, and 20 million e-mails, will be closed to the public. The freedom of information act was just thrown out the door with Bill's dirty underwear collection.

Due to the fact that someone might actually think that perhaps Hillary and Madeline had been secret lesbian lovers, Bill Clinton decided to hide all of Hillary's papers until AFTER she is elected. What would happen if Hillary's love notes match Bill's in the fondness for the same sex? After all, Bill Clinton has a reputation to protect.

But Chris Mathews did just that tonight-- protect the Clintons, when he brought up the question on whether Hillary was trying to hide something, and didn't we have a right to know what we would be getting as a Hillary President?

As we all sat with our mouths open at the prospect that we might actually hear real reason come out of a progressive democrats mouth....it didn't happen.

Chris Mathews wouldn't care if Hillary was a transvestite with a proclivity to not only talking to Eleanor Roosevelt, but secretly dressing like Eleanor on Friday nights, and talking to herself in the mirror.

No, Chris Mathews is in love. It's her voice he says.

Haven't we been hearing for months about the Bush administration "hiding" facts surrounding one or maybe two phone calls? And George W. Bush's reluctance to give up this "information" has had the Democratic Congress calling for his impeachment over his "secrecy."

But if the Clintons want to hide, trash, burn, or shred every single paper that was ever copied from their eight years in office, and not only that...but go on and rewrite flattering portrayals of themselves in history books for our children, and college students...that's okay.

Chris spent about 5 seconds on the question; and all the visiting minions at his round table panel came to the conclusion--- NOT that Hillary had something to hide by this action, or that the act might be corrupt..oh no. They all said that if we knew what was in these papers we would see just how much she has done for humanity. (cough)

The subject was quickly changed to the evil and demonic possessed George Bush, who thinks GOD is talking to him.

Chris was on his game.

Yes, George W. Bush has a God complex, but Hillary and Bill know what's best for our country.

How unfair it would be to release papers filled with things that the American people do not need to know.

We might find out that Madeline Albright thought Hillary had strong thighs too.

Nobody's Perfect: This material is not fit for Google, but if the Clintons want to include it in their archives, I give my permission.

Liberal Lawyer Protects Savage Nation

Nobody’s Perfect: It seems, once again…Michael Savage has gotten the elite’s communista’s angry again. The very thing that endears him to his listeners---that monolithic frankness, the screaming tirades against liberalism, the politically incorrect memorable quotes, just seem to blurt out of him like a fizzed-up bottle of pop.

He just can’t help himself---which is why so many people like him.

Unlike our hypocritical polished politicians, Michael Savage tells you his opinions and does not apologize for them. It’s no wonder he did not last long on TV.

Savage has found the perfect name for himself. But to many people, that’s his charm. And it’s a very American charm that most of us long to know still exists in this day and age of “reforming” us all into European style little baaaing tolerant sheep.

Michael is very upset about what’s going on in our country. He has real passion. Like most talk show hosts, you may not always agree with what he says, but you cannot deny, I repeat…you CANNOT deny… that Michael Savage loves America, and is sick about it disappearing.

And because of that, I will defend him. I wish to God we had more men like him.

That’s why he has such a big following. He is not afraid to say what’s in his heart…and if it sounds harsh, then so be it.

It seems this recent fight started because the rulers of San Francisco want the taxpayers to pay for the green cards and path to citizenships of illegal immigrants. These illegal immigrants therefore said they would go on a hunger strike to get hardworking Americans to pay their way, while they also take away American jobs.

To this Michael Savage says, “Let them fast until they starve to death.”

Hey, if my neighbor said that he was going to go on a hunger strike unless I paid for all his food, and his car, and his house bills, offering nothing in return but contempt, I would say, “Good for you, no cheating---give me that Twinkie.”

What’s wrong with us? Survival is now not an option?

The point is, we should, as Americans, when getting ripped off, be allowed to say anything. We need more free speech, not less.

People with any sense know that Michael Savage is not a racist. He is a man sticking up for the principle that communism should not be allowed in America and we should fight it. We should also fight for our country.

And he does every night…with his own style.

Those of us nobodies following the news know, with the most important election ever coming up, in which Hillary is to be crowned queen of the world, the talk show hosts are starting to be attacked. Rush has been feeling the heat for quite a while. The liberals would love to get him fired.

They need to get the real Americans silenced, and they know it. The old America needs to die for them to succeed.

But there’s a good tale to tell here! A real American has stepped up to defend the lst amendment.

And for heavens' sake! He is a very liberal civil rights lawyer named Daniel A. Horowitz. Daniel is going to defend Michael and his right to say whatever he wants!

Now, that’s good news.

I heard him on Savage tonight, and it was good to hear a liberal who was an American, and wanted America to survive. Are there any more out there?

You take same miracles when you can. Sometimes they can add up.

I listen to Savage almost every night. Sure, sometimes he is full of it. But so are almost every other person you hear on the radio, or TV--- nobody’s perfect. Not them, not you, not I, and certainly not the San Francisco elites that want him silenced.

Savage loves San Francisco dearly, and he is watching the city decay right before his eyes, and it makes him mad.

We all are witnessing the invasion and downfall of our cities.

What? Are we suppose to sit by and take it, because we will be considered racists if we don’t? Because our New World Order leaders want it?

Well, George Orwell predicted this would happen.

Sure, he should not have gone off on that guy on TV…but the man baited him, and he fell for it. We were all going, while shaking our heads, “Oh Michael…you and your temper.”

Everyone knows Michael Savage does not think that homosexual behavior is the norm. But so what? The fact is; it isn’t normal behavior.

Are we not allowed to speak our prejudices as well?

Prejudices, like car accidents, will always exist. It's human nature. It's in every culture. Some scientists will tell you we have a genetic proclivity towards it. We evolved that way, they say.

It’s all how you deal with them. You make laws, you enforce the laws.

But speaking your mind, and that includes your prejudices…should not be silenced.

Hate speech should be protected by the first amendment.

After all, politicians practice hate speech all the time.

Gerardo Sandoval, a city supervisor who called Savage a “Hitler, Stalin, and Chavez.” (Which is hate speech, in some circles) is actually closer to those men than Michael Savage because he is trying to silence Michael’s right to speak.

Michael can only stand up to our American rights for so long. More of us should start fighting this madness, or we will be afraid to say…

“You want my country? Forget it, go jump off a cliff…it’s mine.”

Some of us might even go further and say, (Especially if from N.Y.)

“If you don’t like it what I said, go %&$* yourself.”

Move over Michael.

Che Guevara Is Dead: Get Over It

Nobody’s Opinion: Yesterday, while taking a walk through a local mall, I noticed something that was quite disturbing, in a déjà vu sort of way.

Che Guevara’s tee-shirts seemed to be in way too many store windows for my patriotic liking, along with Al Pacino’s Scar face character… “Say hello to my little friend.”

These images seemed to be everywhere, on tee-shirts and posters, along with the newly popular “bong” pipes.

Well, sure, Al’s character, Scarface, was just a movie fantasy, but, based I’m sure on the real thing.

The black and Hispanic gangs love these tee-shirts…and with the help of corporate America, they will continue to get them, especially in these upcoming elections.

There is an “establishment” to be sweep clean, and why not bring out Che’s image once again to help out?

Frankly, I had enough of this stuff during the sixties.

We have a Cuban drug lord, and the Butcher of La Cabana being idolized by too many American youth. Young kids who have NO idea exactly what horrible monsters they are trying to identify with in order to rebel against mom and dad and the establishment with.

Why, they have I-Pods, and cell phones, and the tee-shirts are cool. Murder and execution has never touched their innocent lives.

Like their parents before them…our screwed up educational system has left the abominations of communism completely out of the textbooks.

And what’s even scarier, mom and dad the baby boomers, used exactly the same ugly Marxist Che Guevara face on their Tee-shirts and joints. His image was all over their rolling dope “papers.”

America is not “cool.”

Most people don’t know much about Che Guevara. They might know that he was a revolutionary…that’s about it. In fact, he’s dead so they think, what’s the danger there?
It’s cool to be a rebel.

The “left” use Che’s image whenever they want to start a revolution against the “establishment.” The democrats…love him.

Che wasn’t some poor, hungry creep from a poverty background, as most people think. He actually came from a wealthy aristocratic “leftist” family. He was a Marxist. He was Castro’s supreme executioner.

He also made lots of trips all over the world…Paris, China, Egypt, the Congo, Ireland, Prague, North Korea, and Vietnam, working to spread the terror of communism.

He did not just stay in South America.

And chess was his favorite game.

When he came to America in 1964, he met with Malcolm X, and had dinner with…pay attention…the Rockefellers.

The very same Rockefellers that had a very early meeting with a young Bill Clinton, before he was governor.

The Rockefellers are Marxists. They believe in redistribution of wealth. (Just not theirs)
And as far as history presents itself, Bill and Hillary Clinton have had the Rockefellers backing since the very beginnings of their career.

Remember the huge gatherings of the millions of Mexicans on May Day, not too long ago? Well, you can bet that the Marxists/communists helped gather this crowd together.

If you could follow the money that backs the immigration movement, you might be shocked to learn where it is from.

Che would have been proud of this May Day crowd, many of whom were wearing his tee-shirt. Because Che believed in “no borders” He is the South American hero.

The Rockefellers also believe in “no borders.”

And it’s sad to say, most of Congress including the last two Presidents, now believe in “no borders.”

Clinton’s roommate in college, Strobe Tolbert, believed in a no borders world. (Probably coming up with this while smoking joints with Bill rolled with Che’s picture.)

Che believed in violence. He was also crazy.

“It’s a sad thing not to have friends, but it’s even sadder not to have enemies.” he said.

Che also said, “If Christ himself stood in my way, I, like Nietzsche would not hesitate to squish him like a worm.”

The CIA did just that, squished him like a worm, thank goodness.

Anybody that went to college during the 1960’s knows that Nietzsche was the campus god. His book of arguments against Christ alone was the bible for the left’s movement in America. That’s when the leftist got into full swing in the Universities.

Now, consider.

Cindy Sheehan has just decided to run against Nancy Pelosi’s job. She just announced not too long ago that she wanted out of the limelight, so why is she back in it? And who does she admire most in the world? And who did she go spend time with?

Hugo Chavez.

And who does Hugo Chavez admire most in the world? Che Guevara. Could he be financing Cindy’s run?

Just last week Sean Penn was down there buddying up with Hugo. I would not doubt that someday Hugo will run Sean as President of the United States.

While we are mostly worried about another attack against us by Al-Qaeda, and the Islamic movement…we should not forget the chess like moves of our ememies. Hugo Chavez and Castro are teaming up with the Iranians as much as possible. Just like Castro teamed up with Russia in the past.

Maybe they do not seem like much of anything…these Che Guevara tee-shirts. I do remember my own parents going nuts over the way the teenagers were embracing “Che” and communists.

Maybe someone should print up some tee-shirts saying, “Che Guevara is dead, get over it.