Saturday, January 10, 2009

The USS George H.W. Bush...Finis

Nobody's Knows: Today, President George W. Bush gave his Daddy the biggest present any son could ever give a father...his own Nimitz carrier.

And that's exactly the way he presented it...a gift for a man who has everything.

Okay, it was said as a joke, but it certainly didn't come off that way.

This from a man who told us that since 9/11 we are in a new war...with an enemy that had no country, and that the conventional means of war were going to become obsolete.

But not until we make this ONE LAST BIG BOAT, I guess. Right, wait till the war in Iraq is over, then make the boat.

Make sense?

Last week, with a mere whisper in the news, the handover of Iraq was done. And I can't say that it was all due to a liberally bias seems President Bush himself didn't want much fanfare.

And as for history judging his father, most of us still wonder why he left Saddam in power after the first Iraq war. It's almost as if he was thinking.."Well, I must leave something for Georgie to do."

As if the thinking of the family image and it's legacy takes precedent over every decision.

And looking back on Iraq, to me it seemed President's Bush's proudest moments came when he killed Saddam's sons, and captured Saddam.

It was a personal thing, you see.

President Bush (42) said today that it was a awesome carrier for an awesome President. And I thought I was bad.

One thing for sure...Daddy had a better education.

I couldn't help feel while I was watching the whole thing that, while most Americans couldn't be more proud of our soldiers...bringing this ship out in the last few remaining hours before his leaving office, almost smacked of a slap in the face to the American taxpayer. It will be the last Nimitz carrier built, and at what expense? While he gives a nice present to his dad, many Americans don't even buy presents anymore due to the coming depression. The timing couldn't have been worse.

He could have at least thanked the American people.

And the fact that our military has literally lost billions of dollars in Iraq, through sheer incompetence...doesn't seem to bother father and son at all.

As one man after another got up and praised President 41, most of the time it was because he joined the Navy. Okay.

So, he joined the Navy, when he was young.

Yeah, he joined the Navy. Okay, he collected sea shells for his wife from the Pacific.


I don't know. The most disappointing thing to me was how young the commander of the ship was, and how he gave the usual global "we have a girl from India serving on board" yada, yada...we are a diversified crew...yada yada,...

Oh, and most importantly, he had a degree in Political Science....more like politically correct science. Yeah---that's going to help when those missiles come at cha'.

God help those kids. I'm sorry, I thought the boy was much too young to be a commander.

It seems nowadays, anyone can have a we see with our recent CIA appointment, you don't have to have experience, you just need to know the right people.

Oh, well. I'd rather see a new ship than a "stimulus" package any day of the year. The money is much more well spent in something that will actually help the country.

It's just the way the Bush family presented the whole thing. There should have been a lot more about the American people, and a little less about the Bush family.

I know they are very proud of themselves, but I wish they'd let us all in on their real achievements, because, a lot of us, just don't get it.

All this does is give the "comrades" more ammunition for the future.

But something tells me, the Bushes could care less, they are flying home on Air Force One.

Daddy Bush has gotten his "New World Order," and now, as his son says, he has everything.


Friday, January 09, 2009

Nobody Wins: Buddy Bedula Biden

Nobody Wins:
Everyone and his step-sister was attacking Sarah Palin, today once again, because she had the audacity to attack the liberal bias of the press in an interview and bring up the very plain fact that she was treated horribly as a candidate, by most everyone.
Well....of course she was. We all witnessed it.
She mentioned the fact that lie after vicious lie was told about her of the most pernicious being that this sweet little boy that we see her holding with her husband was really her daughters.
Well.. this nobody for one, has had enough!
Since nobody gave Joe Biden equal time when HE was running as Obama's Vice President, I think it's about time everyone know...Joe Biden's lost child...Buddy Badula Biden.
Yes, it is well known in private circles that Joe has been hiding knowledge about his son for many years now...and the even more embarrassing fact that despite his looks, Buddy's IQ is higher than Joe's. And that Joe has kept him, much like Joe Kennedy's kept his "gifted" child, holed up in his attic...but the press, due to their liberal bias, will not tell you this.
Yesterday, this...person came out and admitted that he was the son of Joe and a one night stand he had in San Francisco, many years ago.
I suggest Ann Coulter get right on this. (Go Ann!)
(Okay, I made this up. But really...I do see a resemblance...don't you? If the liberal bias can make up stupid stuff, I don't see why we can't give it right back because they are not going to stop.)
Maybe if more of the REAL American women out there get their grizzly mama bear claws out, they'd stop this idiotic stuff. (Okay, maybe not, but we might as well have fun too.)


Thursday, January 08, 2009

Nobody Flashes: How Fat is YOUR Dog?

Nobody Flashes: Just because they made it, doesn't mean they will come...

Your dog that is.

I'm wondering...How do you get your dog on one of these things.and make him stay there? Heck, I have trouble staying on mine...especially if I let go of the handles. I usually have to jump off due to heavy breathing... and look over at MY dog who is lying on the bed beside my treadmill with the look on her face that says:

"You're wasting your time."

I've seen people do it. I've actually seen my son's young and very skinny girlfriend run on the darn things. And what's even more maddening is that is that just the other day I went to a Club Fitness where my son is a personal trainer, walked in the door, and felt like I had stepped onto the movie set of the latest SCI-FI movie in 4-D.

"My God!...when did THOSE machines come out!" Said the Edith Bunker. (me)

This new equipment is so much more advanced than the lowly treadmill, that you could actually have a four-course meal, sex with two people at once, drink a gallon of whiskey, and STILL lose weight, while watching FOX news, trade stock, and playing a game of EVIL DEAD.. all at the same time.

Women could do their nails, in fact, I saw a women doing just that, while walking.

I was searching for the cocktail waitress.

Well, I can't tell you how glad I am to know that my son will have a job security in the future because in the future, no longer will we be allowed to have that Oreo Cookie with milk before bedtime if Tom Dascle has anything to say about it...and he will.

He believes that in our the future of medicine there will be a national "preventive" health program, which has already started in England. Fat people, will just have to die. (just kidding)

Sounds good to me, until you figure out the cycle.

Here's how it goes: They pump up the food with hormones, and deplete the soil, and put chemicals to fatten us all up like Butterball turkeys, THEN...tell us we are all too fat.

So that they can make money off us.

The fatter you are, the more you will pay for health insurance, and you will also have to pay (mandatory by your employer, or you won't get that raise) for weight watcher programs to get you thin again, and then you will stop the program because you won't be able to afford it anymore because the food in it is so much more expensive than regular food...then you will just get fat again, and the cycle will start ALL over, and THEN you will get diabetes...

(puff, puff, puff) Okay...SOME of us MIGHT have to just keep on our old outdated treadmills.

And not just us. The last time I took my dog to the Vet...the Vet felt her, looked at me and said...

" you have been giving her too many treats have you? She's overweight...I have a drug for that, and some literature..."

Hey, my dog is NOT fat...she's all muscle. How dare she insult my dog, just to sell her drugs, so that she can get a big fat paycheck from the drug company...I smiled at her and just got out as quick as I could. Really. The nerve. She should talk.

There is still hope...Oprah is gaining weight...again. And I bet Oprah right now, at this very moment, has her dogs on one of these contraptions....I just bet.

Somebody has to be buying the fact...maybe the fitness clubs should consider putting some right next to the other machines...Americans and their dogs...losing weight..together...

Why now? It would create a lot of new jobs for Club Fitness dog trainers.

Beats the old windmills-killing-birds-green-jobs any old day of the week...

At least that's my nobody opinion.


Wednesday, January 07, 2009

One Father, One Son, One Peanut Farmer, One Playboy...and a Half-Breed

Nobody Cares: It was an historical day today, mostly for two reasons:
1. Due to President's Bush's ongoing and relentless fear that the "Office of the Presidency" will not be continued into the future, (Because it seems that's all he can talk about lately) he wanted to remind the world once again just how important this "Office of Executive Power" called the Presidency really, really is.
So, he called a photo-op for all the Presidents to come to the Oval office and stand to show the world man is still in control.
We just don't where he is at the moment.
2. Bill Clinton was overwhelmed with joy to see that President Bush, in a very noble act on his part we must admit, (Although we suspect it was to once again protect the noble image and office of the United States Presidency)...removed Bill's Clinton's old Oval Office rug, and all 99 stains of various DNA samples, and replaced it with a wonderful new pattern... forever securing the office as a clean and wholesome place, worthy of respect and continuation.
I don't know about you...but the fact that Bush keeps talking about how it's important to preserve the Presidency, is starting to worry me. He's starting to sound like he's afraid that MAYBE...all of these guys knows something terrible is going to happen, and he wants to make sure that NONE of them get the blame for it..
Presidents are pretty much just like the rest of us,.... unfortunatly.


Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Shopping and Smoking With Obama

Nobody Knows: Today, I went to my local shopping mall. I walked the whole mall and saw only four other shoppers. And they were like me, pretending to shop.

Like a lot of Americans, I have no extra money to spend right now, but of course, that doesn’t stop me…because I will look for any excuse to go to the mall…there is a bookstore there.

Somebody has to keep those poor things company.
Forget Chris Mathews-- I get goosebumps every time I pass a huge book on Egyptology. It’s sad.

Anyway, as soon as I got pass the “Best Sellers” I went all the way back to the magazines and grabbed about five “Extravagant Pools and Spa’s of the World” magazines. (Okay, I have a secret fantasy to own a pool that looks like a cross between Hugh Hefner’s famous grotto, and the sheer cliffs of Dover---it’s a sickness.)

I also wanted to glance at two books I couldn’t afford, due to my pet food bills: Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, and They Must Be Stopped, by Brigitte Gabriel---both excellent choices, which will cause overdue fines at my local library as soon as I finished with, “For Whom the Bell Tolls.”

Or doesn’t toll, I haven’t found out yet.

Now that I found out that President Bush and Carl Rove have read over 45 books last year, I must certainly keep up. Of course, they have chefs, and butlers, and gardeners, and I spend part of my day scraping old bird droppings off my back concrete porch…so I deserve at least a handicap of ten…but back to my story.

There I was, no one else in the store, all comfy in my big overstuffed chair…dreaming of swimming in a smooth glass of blue water heaven…and a man in his middle thirties, with Dan Ackoroid pants on, came right over, sat right down RIGHT across from me, and opened up a, “How to Grow Reefer” magazine, and held it right in front of his face so I couldn’t see him.

He was so close; I could have kicked his knee with my bird-dropping tennis shoe.

NOBODY KNOWS just how HARD it was for me to NOT ask this guy, just exactly what he was going to grow, and how much money did he plan to make?. God it was hard.

We sat there across from each other for a good 20 minutes and he didn’t even turn the page. I even coughed really loud, and he didn’t move a finger.

So…here’s the question: It’s illegal to grow and sell pot, right? So why is there a whole magazine sold on newsstands describing how to do this very act? Soros is getting too excited?

Next thing you know there will be magazines on how to process meth.

Once thing is sure, nothing surprises me anymore…because nobody knows. And speaking about that subject…

Nobody Knows: It is being reported that Obama will send more troops into Afghanistan because, we are told that if the Taliban gets stronger, they will take over and once again use the money made from the greatest Opium fields in the world to finance another major attack on the United States.

Uh…so…Why are these opium fields still standing, again? Anyone?

Here’s the irony. Obama’s chief foreign policy counseling is coming from Jimmy Carter’s old Comrade, Zbigniew Brzezinski. It was Brzezinski who armed the “freedom fighters” who became the mujahedeen, who became Al-Qaeda…in the first place.

I’m thinking...maybe Harry Reid is looking for a few extra billion dollars to pay for that Mafia Museum he wants to build in Las Vegas. After all, the mobsters in Chicago expect a little payback for all their recent hard Obama campaigning work.

And speaking of Brzezinski, he once said in his book “Between Two Ages: America’s Role In the Technetronic Era”…and I quote: (well, a bit)

“The technetronic era involves the gradual appearance of a more controlled society. Such a society would be dominated by elite, unrestrained by traditional values”

These guys don’t even bother to hide their egomaniac tendencies to be major buttholes. They write books about it. They just can’t help themselves. And if that isn’t enough, his son Mark also works for Obama, and his other son was McCain’s foreign policy adviser.

“Is it safe?”

Brzezinski’s daughter, Mika, is on MSNBE with good old cup of coffee Morning Joe!

Mika---now there’s an American name!

Nobody Knows, but certainly this nobody wonders, just what he means by “traditional values.” I certainly hope that he keeps the, “Thou shall not kill nobody citizens because they didn’t want to be controlled” intact.

But then again, they are chipping dogs now…it’s only a matter of time before we are all being tracked by the NSA...and speaking of the NSA…they are now working on a face recognition technology where If Michael Jackson is seen entering the Super Bowl everyone will be warned immediately to watch out for his nose.

It’s invisible now---no telling what he’s hiding in there.

Okay, stranger things have happened lately. Nobody Knows why the 111th Congress refused to seat a legitimate and lawfully placed black Senator, but will accept a comedian who found a few extra votes in the men’s room at Saturday Night Live, just because he always bragged he was in Bill Clintons’ family.

Al Franken is more capable than Roland Burns? A lawyer can run the CIA?

Who’s on first?

Obama, the coach, said today that Panetta (his nomination for the CIA) had an “impeccable record of integrity” John D. Rockefeller seconded that emotion.

Tell me, how can anyone spend even a month with Bill Clinton and claim to have integrity?

Personally, I think they've all been smokin'.


Monday, January 05, 2009

Nobody's Perfect: We Have A Tie---Bush and Kennedy

Nobody's Perfect; It's a tie:
I couldn't decide who was more obnoxious last week...Caroline Kennedy deciding to grasp power because her father was President, even though we found out the local drug dealer down the street speaks with more clarity and intelligence... or King President George the I-wanting his other son Jeb Bush to be President someday soon, because, well--- just because he thinks it's a good idea.
Jeb's older brother, George Walker, who is not doing too well in the polls, also thinks it's a great idea. And I just bet Billy Bush will be suggested after that.
Billy is bidding his time wooing the stars, because he is going to need his own Oprah someday.
We now have three royal families: who seemed to have all made a pact with the devil, (better known as the Federal Reserve) to take turns having their "heirs" sit in the Presidential seat.
Bill Clinton, is grooming Chelsea.
And after hearing the news today that Leon Panetta, Bill Clinton's personal lawyer, is going to take over the CIA...come on.
Do you REALLY think we live in a democracy? ----You do?
Well...then you're not perfect either.
I suggest they all go skiing.


Sunday, January 04, 2009

Buddy, Can You Spare Me a Shovel?

Nobody’s Opinion: You should have seen their faces. Anger, shock, resentment---the “We just got ripped off big time,” look.

No, I’m not talking about the defiant faces of the Lehman Brothers…I’m remembering the faces of the three hundred or so disappointed inventors at the annual American Yankee Invention Exposition held in Waterbury, Connecticut. The year I was there was 2007, and it was the end of a three-day convention. A place where Americans from all over the United States had come to show their ideas in hopes of finding an investor. After all, big money is needed to put these ideas on the market.

And why were they angry? Some of them had spent their life savings, paid thousands to expensive patent lawyers, built elaborate displays filled with expensive prototypes…and it was all for nothing. They watched in disbelief as a small group of elite university professors had chosen for the top awards…a few Chinese men. And these Chinese didn’t even show their inventions. They had the only two booths in the auditorium with no displays at all. For three days they sat and laughed at empty tables…and handed out single page white flyer's…no one had a clue what their inventions were.

As we all watched the beaming, obsequious professors handing out trophy after trophy to this one Chinese family,…trust me, there was not one American inventor in that room that didn’t want to throw a few good well-aimed spitballs at those university snob's bearded bald heads. In another time, they might have been run out of town. Not one of those “professors” had ever made anything creative in their lives…despite their degrees.

Shocked was not the word for it---nobody could believe it.

As I walked around, watching the people dismantled their displays, slamming boards, and cussing---my heart went out to them. To me, they had all been scammed. Many inventors had put every penny they had to make the trip. They were told that “many investors would be here”…only to find out NO one came but a few curious locals, and a try-out for a Jay Leno comedy spoof.

Well, I can’t say no one: There were several Chinese and Japanese industrial spies walking around all three days, stealing every single idea. That’s a fact, and I watched in amazement while they did it.

The same professors put this on every year. Not only do they make money from the expensive “fees” paid up front, they all were paid handsomely to give talks that helped no one but their own pockets, because the truth is: the gig is up for the lowly American inventor. Unless you have big connections, your chances of getting that idea on the market are about as good as your chances of becoming the next Secretary of State.

Hope is a man in a seer-sucker suit, and he’s everywhere these days.

Many of our big universities work, just like it seems, most of our politicians, for the multinational corporations. And the multinational corporations have been given free reign by our politicians to gobble up all competitors until there is just one company left standing. And that one company, along with its nearby university, will always have members of Congress or their wives on their boards.

And now, the multinationals are doing something even more insidious. They are going into our high schools, with the help of our government under the guise of “invention” workshops, and literally stealing the ideas of whatever talented person they might find…because you see, in universities, and companies…if you think of the next great idea, it does not belong to you, it belongs to the company.

If you, the young brilliant inventor, invent the next air car: you will get a thousand dollars and a nice write up in the newspaper, while that major company will take your idea and make billions, or better yet: save themselves billions by keeping your idea off the market for good, because you see, they will own it.

It’s Jamestown, the sequel.

What’s wrong with that you might say? Ask yourself: Why did America become the greatest country in the world? Why did we create almost everything under the sun, while the other countries had trouble feeding their people?

Only in America could an individual have the opportunity and freedom to create and the knowledge that he could become very rich for that creation, if he worked hard enough. That was the American dream. That’s why everyone flocked here.

That was of course, before all the great company mergers we’ve seen in the last 20 years.

Only a people living in freedom already could have formed a document as wondrous as our Constitution. Americans lit up the world, gave everyone the car, computers, airplanes-- you name it: it was invented here.

Freedom. You have to have fertile soil to grow, and we had the best.

And those inventions gave us superiority, and money. And that superiority gave us the strength from our manufacturing base to build a strong army, and rebuild the world. In fact, we rebuild the world so well after World War II, that now “the world” has come back into our country and took over all our markets and put us all out of business.

Not because they are smarter, or more creative…but because our politicians let them.

While the whole world was protecting their markets and stealing from us right and left…our politicians sold out to the big multinational mergers, on which most of them have all served as board members.

For instance; take the globalization of Wal-Mart. Sure, it started out with one guy…but whole American towns, whole American small-town church based cultures, were wiped off the earth---not to mention the billions of tax revenues lost from these small town mom and pop stores because of its “success.” We are now a nation of franchises…a nation of “servers.”

Give or take a few more years. K-Mart and Target will be gone. By that time, Chelsea Clinton will serve on the Wal-Mart board, just like her mother did.

The United States Patent Office now has a board with ten multinational on it, and one man representing the individual inventor.

You see, it used to be an inventor could file a patent and the patent office would keep it secret for a good while. But the multinational companies wanted to merge “with the rest of the world” and as soon as the small inventor files his patent now, his drawings can be seen by anyone in the world, and they can steal it.

The idea is that only a few companies own all patents, and all inventors work for them, concentrating wealth into a few hands.

So when the poor guy now has a great idea, he will not only be unable to get a patent, or the banks to invest, but he will actually feel grateful if some one offers him a few bucks for it. And that’s why the “green” revolution is doomed.

There’s no money in it except for the big CEO’s. Why do you think GE had to get the government to outlaw light bulbs? Because, in a free market, those bulbs filled with mercury, would have not made it off the shelves.

That’s why we are being “forced” to get HD TVs, and little cars. And we will be forced to get whatever “green” technology they want us to, whether it works or not.

This insanity will stifle the great creativeness of the American people. Why create anything if someone else is going to make the money off it? Why? And if you work for a big corporation and quit to pursue your dream of making it rich?

The big lawyers will gobble you up. A good example of this is a movie called "Tucker." Lots of conservative people believe in this big dog gobble up little dog system.

But, Russia, China, the middle East...there is a lot of historical proof that it doesn't work. Not only that, it has doomed countries to the dust bin of history.

And yet, that's where's our politicians have taken us, and why without economic straight, we are valuable to all the people who want to kill us.

Do they REALLY care? Bill Reilly doesn't think so, and I tend to agree.

Today, Pat Robertson said that God told him that America would embrace Socialism in 2009 in order to relieve their pain, and the economy would rebound under Obama.

And to this all I can say, is “Buddy, can you spare me a shovel?”

I think I might as well start digging.

(God, I’m a cheery nobody today, aren’t I? And yes, that was some of my economic ideas, although many are still stuck in hibernation.)