Saturday, February 26, 2011

WHO Are We Stimulating?

Nobody Gets Email on Saturday Night: While I was listening to some woman today, talking at one of the many union meetings, I was thinking about this email.

She was upset that her unemployment ran out. I guess those stimulus dollars just didn't get to her.

Many are still shouting "Where's the Beef?" Maybe they should be saying, "Where's the stimulus?" Where oh where did it go?

I got this email early last week...I think whoever wrote this is even more of a cynic than this nobody! I hope he keeps it up...I need the competition. (no, well..)

Email of the week:

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another economic stimulus payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q: What is an economic stimulus format?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q: Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q: So the government is giving me back my own money?
A: Only a smidgen of it.
Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q: But, isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut up.

Below is helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus checks wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* If you spend it on gasoline the money will go to the Arabs.
*If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan, or China.
*If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
*If you purchase useless stuff it will go to Taiwan.
*if you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

INSTEAD...keep the money in America by:
1. Spending it at yard sales..or
2. Going to ball games...or
3. Spending it on prostitutes..or
4. Beer...or
5. Tattoos.

These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.

Conclusion: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale, and drink beer all day!

No need to thank me, I'm just glad to be of help.

(Thanks to Tom Beebe)


Friday, February 25, 2011

Motowning the White House

Nobody Reports another "Black" party at the White House, with a few token whites let in for good measure. Joe Biden came dressed to honor his black roots, and the fact that he has shown, much to his credit, no semblance of a negro dialect.

I now know why Obama claimed to be black on the last census. If you are black, you can make every month black history month and throw a big party--- which is just what the King and Queen of black Presidential history did...they threw another big party for their closest friends and themselves, at the White House, at our expense...of course.

It was a Motown party, with those Motown favorites, like Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder, and Sheryl Crowe.

Wait. Uh. Sheryl Crowe?

What kind of Motown party does NOT invite the Queen of Motown, Aretha Franklin? After all, she is not sick anymore, she says. And what is Motown without the OTHER Queen of Motown, Diana Ross? What is a Motown party without, "Stop, In the Name of Love!"

It's a fake, that's what it is.

What kind of pull does a Black President have if he can't even get the very heart of Motown to show up? What about the Jackson's? I'm sure Stevie could have done all Michaels parts, and probably a lot better.

Michelle Obama was looking good in black, the preferred color of the night, and pimping out with gorgeously thick black fake eyelashes, when she was asked, "Who's Your favorite Motown artist?"

"Stevie Wonder, yes indeed."

Okay, just how many times has Stevie Wonder been to the White House again? Is it me...or did this same party happen not too long ago? I'm beginning to think he lives there.

Obama called Motown, "the soundtrack of the civil rights era," and credited Motown's tight lyrics, catchy melodies and deep soul with helping to "blur the line between music that was considered either black or white."

Right...Elvis gets no respect from our black President.

Gee...if Motown was an example of civil rights, what in the heck is the rap music of today an example of?

Civil destruction ?

Imagine 50 years from now, a black President having a party at the White House to celebrate the black music of today?

Good thing, most of us will be dead. I'm having a hard time picturing George Washington looking down on 50 Cents, Snoop Dog, and LiL Wayne.

Wait...Obama has another year....


Thursday, February 24, 2011

Forget Hope and Change: Try Some True Grit

Nobody Opinion: Just like his old buddy Bill Clinton before him, 'President' Obama took his good old sweet time condemning that talented terrorist, Muammar Gaddafi (or Gaddhafi, or as I prefer to call him...Gollum Mooointhemud.) Liberals never get in the way of a good massacre. How many time did we hear Bill Clinton say---Well, I DO feel bad about Rwanda...we just couldn't do anything.? Later we learned how many lovely acres of prime real estate that his good buddies the Lippo Group owned in Rwanda....but that's another blog. But let's face it, when it comes to making deals with terrorist..

Nobody's Perfect: When George W. Bush was President, he made a deal with Gaddafi, even after it was proven that he masterminded the death of over 270 people. That's okay--- what was important was that he promised not to pursue nuclear weapons. And so, the Prime Minister of England let an old guy faking illness, (Magrahi) the killer of those poor people go home to a hero's exchange of course for oil rights. When justice has to prevail, our big Western leaders play the hand what? Then...

Nobody Cares when Sting (you remember him...Sting, British singer) says the West "should start treating the Arab culture (in) a better way. " Really? How's that?

Nobody Knows what "better way" we should treat them. After all, they are let into our country with no serious screenings, and then we get Ft. Hood, tennis shoe bombers, underwear bombers, I just want to blow up George Bush's house bombers, and it's as if...

Nobody Remembers...9/11...BUT...good news! There is one man who is..

Nobody's Fool: Check out Alan West. (see video) This guy is great. I love it. We need to fill up the halls of Congress with men like this.

Nobody Flashes: That according to the Wall Street Journal, the Federal Reserve caused the inflation that lead to higher food prices, which lead to the horrible riots and uprising in the Middle East. Bill Clinton is telling the farmers maybe they should grow more corn, and cut back on that ethanol production. Bill just can't keep away from those husks, can he?

Nobody Wins: And back here at home, we have our own "union" problems. Half the people are paying for the health care and pensions for the other half of the people, and there is no money left. If the unions win...sooner or later, there will be a lot of really mad people. And while the Democrats are mad becase they lost the elections, they have just decided to go to another state.

Nobody Wonders: So, what if this new democratic play of "if I don't' get my way, I'll just take my ball and go hide" travels up to the halls of Congress and nothing ever gets done?
Then, good men and women with True Grit, like Allen West will come and save the day!
HEY...You wanted a good ending didn't you? Nobody is as hopeful as me.


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Harry Reid: Never Met a Legal Prostitute Bunny He Liked

Nobody Wins: Harry Reid came out today and announced that he wants to outlaw prostitution in Nevada. When he said, “the time has come for us to outlaw prostitution,” the crowd in the Assembly chambers was silent. Not only were they silent, but in the front row, sitting with about 8 other prostitutes, was a big beautiful blond, who started crying.

You can just imagine what she was thinking. Would she then have to go out on the strip and join all the other prostitutes lined up on every corner, with JOSE standing right behind her telling her to hustle? Standing there with all her calling cards. No one to watch her back. Thinking of endless nights in jail..paying fines. No more protection. No more steady clients.

"Here honey, call me!"

I don't know about you...but if you've ever been to Vegas you can't walk far without some pretty young thing soliciting you with "call me" cards. Most of them can't speak English. All I kept thinking when I walked pass them was, "My god..what if there is some kind of Ebola on these things, and I catch it?" They practically stuff them in your hand, and those girls are everywhere. he doing this? So that all the illegal prostitutes will support him when he gets rid of term limits? Are the illegals crying because too many Mexican maids have been laid off? Or is this just a ploy to GET them all to unionize?

Cocaine, is against the law, marijuana is against the law, murder is against the law, being illegal and in this country is against the law. And YET...there is an over abundance of them all.

Yeah, that ought to work there Harry. That's using your pea brain.

Harry said, "Let's have an adult conversation about an adult subject,"

Finally. Let's. Okay Harry...iI you are going to outlaw prostitutes in Nevada, then it's only fair that all the prostitutes in our Congress (and that includes our executive branch) should be fined and put in jail for the obvious prostitutes that they are.

Clean up all the protitutes in Washington D.C, Harry, first.

Trying to clean up prostitution in Nevada, is like trying to ban sea gulls from the San Francisco Bay, and seeing Harry Reid quit his job after shamefully admitting what a pea brain he is.

Won't happen in my lifetime.

So, what is this really about? Maybe he just wanted to get in the news, and be popular again.

Wait...that won't happen in my lifetime either.


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

If Trunka Gave Advice to Gaddhafi

Nobody Knows what the conversation would be like if Gaddafi called up AFL-CIO

leader, Richard Trunka, and asked for advice:

Phone rings:

Trunka Hello...Trunka here.

Gaddhafi ello? Mr. Trunka, this is President Moummar Gadhafi.

Trunka Hey there your highness, I hear you got some trouble going on over there!

Gaddhafi have heard? The rats are out in the streets. The media and the West is causing all this, they want to see me destroyed, but you know, I will die here before I give in to those scum. I have done what you do, Mr. Turnka, I doubled the salary of my guards. Those scums in the streets will be sorry that they were ever born. I have heard that you have trouble too where you are.

Trunka Yes, but our trouble is great! You know, they can't win, I've got Obama on my side.
They don't know who they are messing don't mess with me...I can break them.

Gaddhafi Yes, break the rats...kill them. Hey, I am thinking of making a trip to the White House. I would like to pitch my tent on the White House lawn. I don't think Mr. Trump will let me pitch my tent on his property again. Just until this is know. You must get me a meeting with Obama--- you talk to him every day, NO?

Trunka I'm not sure he would go for that, but hey...why don't you come to OHIO? You can meet him there with me. He's going to be practically living there in the next few years. Tell you come over here and help me with these rat governors and I'll come over there and help you organize all the people that support you. You can pitch a bunch of tents right on the capitol's lawn. Bring as many tents as you like. I'll foot the bill.

Gaddhafi Well, you must cut off the internet, Turnka...have you done that yet?

Trunka Obama is working on it. Actually it's a much better plan, we will just get control of it. Google you know has been doing some amazing things over there for you guys...but really should be a little bit more quiet about who you know, there are other ways to get rid of your enemies. You want me to send my guys?

Gaddhafi Hey, I have an executive order 134777 signed by George Bush. It is my, as you say, "Get out of jail free card." No one can touch me. Not even that dimwit Ki moon. He is a rat. The world is full of dirty filthy rats!

Trunka Yeah, we have big ones over here too.

Gaddhafi Let them all run to Europe where they belong, with the whores of Christ and Jews.

Trunka Hey know, the AFL-CIO is now global. You should really think about letting us into Libya before you set those wells on fire. We are doing wonders in Palestine. Obama and I have plans that would blow your really need to get in on this...

Gaddhafi Just a minute (leans over and kisses his blond, full busted ...Ukrainian nurse, Galyna.) Uh...I am going now. Call me as soon as you can, and we will talk more. Remember, I only can have virgins.

Trunka Yeah, I'll get back to ya on that...and Gad...if you come, tell Galyna to bring her sister. CLICK.

Gaddhafi...grabs his nurse...Allah be praised....I am still here.


Monday, February 21, 2011

Nobody Flashes President's Rules

Nobody Flashes: President's Day.

Sorry, I still think of George Washington on President's day, no matter how many 'Presidents" want to steal his glory.

Let them all get on a horse and lead men to battle if they want to be included.

This is a picture from Tom Hanks great HBO series on John Adams. If you have never seen this wonderful movie, put it on your bucket list.

George Washington carried a little book around with him called, Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior... to guide him in his life. The lst rule, went like this:

Every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present. this video, of a mob attacking Fox News reporters for doing their job, to realize that maybe we should make Washington's book mandatory reading in our schools.

HA! Okay...I know...won't happen. How about just posting the rules on the doors of IHOP?


This is MY I-HOP!

Nobody Flashes: It's President's day, and so in honor of George Washington, I'd thought it would be appropriate to site the Number one rule in George's Washington's little book that he carried around with him called, "Rules of Civility."

This video appeared this morning. Here we see a group of people, upset that Fox News reporters are there to cover a murder. "Civility" is not in their vocabulary.

1st: Every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present.

Something tells me, maybe we should include his little book in all our public schools.

But then again...I doubt if it would do any good to these people. I-Hops is sacred ground.


Sunday, February 20, 2011

Trolling for Capitalists!

Nobody's Opinion: Not many history books talk about it, but the 1776 American Revolution was not just about the price of stamps, or not being represented in Parliament: in 1740, Boston had reached the crisis of an economic depression. The aristocrats had heaped up vast estates, by profiteering at the small farmers expense.
There was a scheme called the "Land Bank" which promised hard pressed farmers and town mechanics a Utopia of paper money backed by real estate. The promoters were inflationist's who propose to bring back prosperity by flooding the country with paper bills, and at the same time, to "humble the Merchants" by taking the control of currency out of their hands. (John C. Miller)
So here we are, 2011, and we have just seen two administrations do the very same thing, with billion dollar stimulus bailouts. Don't tell me that they are not encouraging a "revolution" because we see the signs of it all around us. Pitting the rich, against the poor. And when the cashless online society finally becomes reality, ALL of us will be at mercy of the banks. The main leaders of the world want a one world currency--- it's what they all are calling for. And the control of currency will be out of all our hands, if that happens.
Don't tell me they do NOT have this planned. Somewhere in tall buildings, Think Tanks are working this stuff out.
So, while you have to laugh at a man (my troll) who thinks Communism and Marxism.. two systems which have cause the most pain and suffering in the history of the world, are the answer -- the problem is: capitalism without checks and balances, as we are seeing now, can also cause damage. We shouldn't all be so naive to say it doesn't. It comes down to controlling the corruption of men.
(Good luck with that!)
The problems of capitalism makes it very easy for uneducated people to be manipulated back into communism when it runs into bumps.
Our founders KNEW that men were corrupt. So they wisely thought up, and hoped that every branch of the government would check the other. That's what we need in capitalism, because let's face it...we have none.
You have the referee in any sports game. You commit a foul, you get sent out of the game. And once upon a time, we had morals and the Ten Commandments to guide us. We do not have that in our capitalistic system anymore. Today, it's the bottom line and damn the torpedoes.
Our politicians now work for the biggest donors. Our justice systems work for the Presidents, and the President only. We've seen it time and time again.
Our executive branch has become a King...with Czars appointed to ignore the laws. How many undeclared wars have we fought on some President's whim?
Tell me--- if there was a citizens watchdog group made up of the common man, elected by each state, to over look the monopolies--- and corrupt politicians--- and dealers like Fannie and Freddie Mac, then the bunch from Wall Street would all be in jail now.
Who went to jail for the damage? Did Barney Frank serve time? How many huge companies have been allowed to merge, creating such powerful monopolies that soon there will be just ONE place for the poor to shop?
Comrade Wal-Mart.
Does the Supreme Court help us? No, they can pick and choose what case to take. A lot of good that does the common man.
Our politicians (many) are global brokers for the big international companies, who want to put strip malls in every country of the world. It's a nice thought...but it stifles creativity, and therefore, human progress. And now, they are selling off our cities and assets to the highest foreign bidders.
Who gave them that right? Certainly not the taxpayer.
Redistribution is not the answer. Russia was the perfect example of that. And I don't know about you, but I resent every dime some President send to a country that hates us.
Since the beginning, the inequality among all men has been hard to deal with. Some people are just better at making money, and when those people get enough power, they can hold millions of others from even making it to first base. I observed this from my many years at patent conventions.
The biggest problem with capitalism is monopolies. To keep prices low, you must have competition. Competition brings out the best in everyone. The elite have stifled it at every turn. Monopolies are now encouraged. And this is because we now have communistic and socialists infiltrating the halls of our government. Chirping "democracy" at every turn in order to disguise themselves.
When one man can control the market, you then have tyranny. Google, has become a tyrant we are finding out, in bed with our government--- as is General Electric.
No one else can make the light bulbs that we all love, and compete with General Electric... Congress has outlawed them---which gives GE the monopoly. Can you believe that this has happened? I don't care how damn cute that baby elephant is---it scares the hell out of me.
Congress should not be in bed with GE. For that matter, government workers should never become unionized, which puts all the votes in one party. The military isn't unionized, why should everyone else be? Yes, our government is really screwed up...our nation is becoming fascist.
But, here's the naked truth: for all its faults, the world would not survive without capitalism-- so far, it's the best system for developing our species that mankind has invented. We need MORE of it, not less.
But it needs improvement. We need to add independence referees to check it. Men not paid off by the very men who they guard. And that's the trouble, Every committee that is appointed to investigate crimes, is filled with the same people who committed the crimes. JFK and 9/11 are perfect examples Both committees--- filled with men to cover who covered up the truth.
So here's my nobody thought: Every night, underneath my mouse, is my favorite mouse pad. It has a quote on it by Thomas Edison.
"There is always a way to do it better....find it"
And I agree...there is a better way. Instead of sending the world back into communism, we should be foraging ahead to a new improved capitalistic system, free from government manipulations of monopolies who aim to push the common man down into the slavery of the few global elites. We need to get some checks and balances allow again the creativity of every individual mind who dares to dream, and to allow his or her dream to be protected, in freedom.
I'm not sure I got that last paragraph as succinctly as I wanted, but...I tried.
Feel free to put in your two the spirit of capitalism, the more ideas the better!
This nobody is now...trolling for capitalists.