Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Vatican, and a Bunker Hill Birthday

Nobody Cares:
It was my birthday today...and I was feeling pretty good about it until I just found out that Barry Manilow also was born on June 17. Paul McCartney's birthday is tomorrow, but I haven't forgiven him yet.
Anyway, I went to the Jefferson Memorial Historical Museum here in St. Louis, with some guy who sits around my house and plays video see the Vatican Exhibit. They don't let you take pictures, or else I would have some nifty religious pictures to post. I'm not sure it was worth the money, because outside of a few old pictures, it was mostly about the Popes. There were lots of statues of Popes, and I learned that one Pope looked like The Wizard in the Wizard of OZ...and another one looked just like the Crypt Keeper, and another one looked like ET...and in a very creepy but actually wonderful could put your hand on the bronze cast of some Pope, and...feel blessed. I made the video game guy do it...(I think he is my husband, but I'm not sure) and while I asked for...of course...MONEY....he said he was simply glad that he didn't catch on fire.
Of course, I had to agree.
What I did find amazing was that, according to the Catholic Church, the belief is that every single Pope holds a blood linage to Jesus. How they happened to manage this trick...I'm not sure. None of them even look like him. Not even close. But, I suppose it's like the old know. Same concept. All of a sudden the movie The Divinci Code made more sense.The Popes claim THEY are direct descendants of Jesus, and the Illuminati (politicians) say no.... THEY are the true descendants of Jesus.
And so that is why you will never hear that Jesus was gay. If Jesus was gay, NO one could claim linage.
(I do not mean to offend religion..please...I'm a big fan of Jesus. In fact, I wished he could have seen the Vatican. He might have done another one of his "tantrums" right there in the middle of the basilica and made them return the stolen bronze that they used to make the alter columns, to the Pantheon
So things worked out for the Vatican and all those Popes.
I also found out that St. Anthony is the Saint you pray to to help you find your car keys, or glasses, or checkbook, or credit cards...or whatever you might be missing....good to know.
BUT...these were my favorite finds in the museum. The first is a photo of Charles Lindbergh hugging a tree.
I have hugged MANY trees in my lifetime...only not for the same reason. I was so excited to see someone else hugged trees besides me, I had to take my picture...and no, I'm not drunk. He hugged them, it said, because he was an environmentalist. I need no such excuse.
It's been a while since I hugged a tree. I'm not sure what that means.
The second picture is one of Jefferson writing the Declaration of Independence. I think he's the guy sitting, down...who the other guys are, I have no clue.
I also learned that Jefferson once wrote to John Adams and said..We cannot live without our books.
Maybe that's why I liked the founders more that the Popes. They had their books made out of gold and silver.
You ended up never getting past the cover.
Okay, that's enough. Nobody Cares about my birthday, I wrote this for myself.
Happy Birthday...Joyanna! Next year...get out of town.


Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Truth According to Blogo

Nobody's Fool:
I love this guy! I can't help it. If I had to pick my very favorite corrupt politician, hands down-- he would win.
And the REASON I get a kick out of him is that he really believes he did nothing wrong in doing the usual corrupt things politicians do every single day of the week...
Sure he bribed to get money for himself...sure he tried to sell Obama's Senate seat...and sure, he loves that great Frankin Avalon look on himself. BUT...good hairspray aside, the whole world just cannot believe that a Chicago wise guy could be so honestly...innocent and open about everyday crime!
(Sure, I slept with that girl, but so did Obama.)
I even felt bad for him when he lost on THE APPRENTICE trying to sell Harry Potter's Theme Park to kids on Trump's Show. His sincerity was killing me.
What's so hilarious about the guy, is that he thinks by saying he is doing nothing new, that is really going to get him off. Everyone takes bribes! What's the matter? It's how our government works!
Well, what's wrong with telling the truth?
But--- I worry about him. Either he knows something so horrific that he feels safe enough to go on to a new Hollywood career, or he figures it doesn't matter---might as well milk the whole thing for Brand recognition.
Either way, I fear for P.T. Blogo... he is playing with fire, because as we all one is untouchable.
During the Health Debate, Obama gave everyone brides out his proverbial telepromter pole-hole, in order to seal the deal. And it was right out in the open. And it was against the law. And our Constitution. And so therefore...nothing was done.
Like I say...he's growing on me. Blago is absolutely right. According to the current corrupt political ways of our Congress, he did nothing wrong.
But as the old Chicago saying goes: "When you attack the Godfather, you'd better make sure you kill him. Or else you won't even get an offer to refuse."
Be careful Ron...there are very few polticians that make us laugh anymore, this nobody would miss ya.
(Nobody Makes This Stuff Up)


Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Putting Lipstick on a Wart Hog

Nobody Wins:
If you missed 'President' Obama's energy speech tonight from the oval office, I can sum it up quite simply for you.
Remember when Obama said, during his campaign....
"Well, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig!"...
Everyone KNEW he was talking about Sarah Palin. That remark showed that the man had absolutely no class whatsoever. It was nasty, really low, and proved that the man running for President was basically what we call in many parts of the country..."Trailer Trash." But, all the liberals loved it. And he denied that he was talking about Sarah Palin...acting just like the "swine" he thought he was labeling.
I made myself watch the speech tonight, but do to the fact that I don't like to torture myself too much, I was surfing my e-mail at the same time and came upon this picture. It was sent to me by my friend Janet in Florida, who I'm sure, remembers the nights we went on "boar-hunting" pajama party sleepover in the glades when we were kids. Little did our parents know that while we were well protected in our swamp buggies from the Boars, our ears were NOT protected by the thousands of dirty jokes that kept the Vietnamese lady that took us all, entertained. It's bad enough you don't understand the dirty joke, but try to not understand it in broken Vietnamese.
But, I'm getting off the subject...(or am I?)
Anyway, Obama had his best game face on tonight..and then when he ended it with, "God Bless America" I was wondering just which GOD he was talking about.
And then it came to me, after considering the picture and the speech...I thought...hmmmm
"You can put a patriotic speech on a Tele-Prompter for a Marxist, Islamic, unpatriotic Wart Hog to read...but he' still remains a Marxist, Islamic, unpatriotic Wart Hog.... and even lipstick wouldn't help."
Wait...I'm not talking about Obama? Did you think I was talking about Obama? No way.
On a more important note, NOBODY REPORTS that this Wart Hog was caught in Florida, by a man who works at Sears. He weights almost 2,000 pounds. (the hog) I would have liked to seen his mother.
And you thought the beaches were dangerous.
Maybe that's the plan of the oil spill...get everyone to move into the swamps...with the giant Wart Hogs, and the pythons...and the posionsous frogs and snakes...


Monday, June 14, 2010

Nobody Steals Gum

Nobody's Perfect; Part Once:

Okay, it's only fair, since I moan and groan so much about everything and everyone on the planet, by now you are saying to yourself, "Well, what makes YOU so perfect, Miss Nobody?"--- as well you should.

I have made so many mistakes in my lifetime, if you were to add them all up, in terms of tax dollars...every single person on the planet would owe me big time. In fact, all the nearest aliens waiting to land and purchase the White House would owe me. All our dirty politicians would do time, and have to clean up the gulf beaches on good behavior, just to pay back all my imperfections.

Anyway....I'm going to tell you three of my most regrettable memories in which I admit lifetime mortification about past unforgettable actions.

I'll do it in three blogs so as not too overwhelmed you with too much pity at once.

Try not to have too much fun enjoying my stupidity if you can. And if you do, don't tell me about it....I already have friends and relatives to do that for me, and you wouldn't want to deprive them of the one thing they really like about me...the fact that they all think I'm hopeless.

If you are expecting "I actually drowned a puppy on purpose, started a forest fire for fun, (something one my little six- year- old best buddies did in Florida) had sex with ten guys on a major league baseball team, locked my brother in a closet for two weeks...or help pass a bill in Congress that would destroy millions of jobs" will be disappointed. My crimes, while I realize would be trivial to many, were not to me.

Although, ---once, when asked if my 15--year-old brother was REALLY Elvis's 18- year- old cousin by a very sexy 19-year- old neighborhood girl at the local pool..I told the truth and said...No. The hole in the door that he punched trying to kill me, is still there.

And this proves my point. Honesty, in's genetic. It's almost...pathetic.

So, pretend you're the Pope, and nobody is here to confess:

"Yes, father, forgive me for I have sinned. Hail Mary and all the other saints, especially MS Teresa who is not going to be honored by the Empire State Building, I'm hopelessly honest."

My Nobody life, has been ruled by the ten commandments ever since I can remember them being etched in my little head at the Naples, Florida, Methodist Sunday school. And while, I do not attend church now, and my belief in Jesus as the "savior" may be scanty at best...I do believe in God, or some kind it what you want...mainly because....I tend to think of things mathematically, and that includes...the concept of God. And that's a whole other blog.

Nobody Steals Bubble Gum

My first real crime was committed in the small town of Naples, Florida. I was about eight. Every day, the highlight of my little nobody life, was getting off the school bus and going into the roadside gas station to use my small dime allowance to buy myself some candy before the half mile walk home. Of course, my older brother Gary (who was ten) walked with me..and his love was...comic books.

As I remember, it was a Friday, and I had been saving my dime all week for sweet tarts and Bazooka Bubble Gum. But Gary, didn't have enough money for the treasure that he saw before him...the latest Superman Comic book...just out that day.

"Hey, I need your dime...just today. I'll pay you back, I don't have enough money for my book." he said. me back....sure, that will never happen, not in a trillion years. Older brothers know the con of the little sister, and I was a sucker.


So, there I was....salivating at the gum. Feeling sorry for how unfair life was. I loved my brother and couldn't refuse him. He wanted that comic book so badly, and I wanted the sweet taste of sugar. Well,...I'll just take ONE piece of double bubble gum...the guy will never miss I did.

I became the youngest thief in the universe.

It was the best tasting piece of gum I ever had. But, the guilt from it was so unbearable that the next week, I gave my dime allowance to the man behind the counter. (The gum was a penny) He never said a word, he just took it. Actually, he had probably heard the whole thing...and felt sorry for me.

But...THOU SHALL NOT STEAL...was as much a part of my little soul as THOU SHALL GIVE YOUR BROTHER YOUR ONLY DIME..because he has convinced you that if he doesn't buy that Superman Comic book his life will be over....and therefore it was too much for my little mind to comprehend or rationalized.

That was the last time I ever stole anything.

Now, if stealing one tiny piece of gum was so tremendous a burden on me...can you imagine how it feels to witness the trillions of dollars stolen from one group of people and given to another group of people, every day?

Is it a miracle I'm still breathing?

Not only money, but whole lives being destroyed by greed, and corruption...and you know very drives me crazy.

I know, life isn't fair. My brother knew I'd give him the he took it. He was always more successful than me when it came to making money. "I put myself first." he would tell me." Always look out for number one." And he did. If that meant taking unfairly from the sucker in front of be it.

So, now, at soon to be 58 in a couple of days..I ask myself: Should I be proud of living an almost flawless life of never having stole anything from anyone? Or should I be angry for not coming into the bandwagon of "looking out for number one" and join the millions of others on the planet who steal...and feel no guilt whatsoever...saying it's man's nature?

Do I like to torture myself with these question? Did Mary Queen of Scots like the Tower of London?

The way I look at it...Moses knew it was man's nature to steal. And if he was going to get them people across that desert...stealing had to be made a big no-no. I'm not sure if God actually wrote those sins on a tablet, besides...didn't he walk down the mountains and break them?What did he do? Go back up the mountain and ask god for a carbon copy? But they were the best laws ever written...

At least that's my Nobody's Opinion. My ancestors were so honest, to this day there is no memorial honoring them in Washington D.C..

What else explains it? They didn't call him honest John for nothing.

If honestly can be in your genes, then I'm doomed as my poor mother.

My brother on the other hand, got his genes from my polish grandmother, who my mother said, was a well known nymph and loved taking strange men into her home, which my grandfather allowed.

As you can guess, my brother has had a very wonderful life, that everyone around envies, including me.

Anyway...either way you want to look at it. I knew when I was eight, that what I did was really bad. And I still feel bad about it. There was no excuse but self pity. I don't care if I was eight---I should not have stolen that one piece of bubble gum.

My only perfection, if I have any, is I doubt seriously if there is any other person on the planet, that find so much about themselves that they can complain about.

So...hail Mary...pray for my poor nobody soul, and dear God, please remind my brother that Elvis is dead.


Sunday, June 13, 2010

Ben Franklin Has Opinions and Nobody Responds

Nobody's Opinion: Remember as you read this:
Ben Franklin died at the age of ripe old age of...84.
If you're a baby boomer, the government has made it very clear: you...are a problem. Social Security they tell you, is over...and soon it will belly up. The complaint from our elite plutocracy is that, hey, some of us elites spent the money on other things, and our manufacturing base is now gone global, and now, we have no jobs, and that's why we need more workers here in order that you all don't freak out when you can't get your heart surgery and come after us on the capitol steps, carrying your canes full of catty liter, and a tubes of crazy glue.
On the steps of Zeus mountain, our politicians look down on us and think the solution, pragmatically speaking in their eyes, is just getting as many as young families as you can from Mexico to have as many babies as they can, in order to keep the big monster called the United States government going. Even Bill Clinton has come out and said it.
Western civilization's populations are ageing, while Asia, Latin America, Arabia, and India are booming with babies. Facts are facts...something has to give, and it isn't going to be pretty. Populations can only be culled by diseases or war...and Universal Health Care for those over fifty, will make sure that the old make way.
Die off early you guys,'s the least you can do for the world, and all our big pensions.
But, what would Ben Franklin say about this population problem? Ever wonder?
Here's some quotations from Mr. Franklin's "The Increase of Mankind," written in 1751.
BF: When families can be easily supported, more persons marry and earlier in life.
Nobody: I wonder what Ben would say about our young people not getting married..until their life is half over? Since our kids are not marrying until much later, Ben would say...a family is not easily supported. But then again, back in Ben's time. There was no such thing as government welfare.
BF: Foreigners who can sell cheaper will drive her merchants out of markets. Foreign manufacturers will thereby be encouraged and increased and consequently, foreign nations--- perhaps her rivals in power, grow more populous and more powerful, while her own colonies, kept too low, are unable to assist her or add to her strength.
Nobody: Does this not describe our situation with China to the max? And if Ben Franklin knew this obvious fact: why have all our elected politicians for the last two decades ignored it?
BF: on Slaves: Neglect is natural to the man who is not to be benefited b his own care or diligence.
Nobody: Bottom- line philosophy of Adam Smith. You might get a man cheap, and slave him with no hope of ever making it on his own, but in the will lose.
BF: Labor is much cheaper in England than it ever can be by Negroes here. Why then will Americans purchase slaves? Because slaves may be kept as long as a man pleases, or has occasions for their labor; while hired men are continually leaving their masters (often in the midst of his business) and setting up for themselves.
Nobody: HA! And you were told slave labor was cheap!
This is the danger of too many monopolies...big global companies all merging into a hand full of a few major players...and hiring the cheap Chinese, Mexican, Indian, and soon to be out- of- work Americans slaves to work only for the masters of globalization.
BF: The following will diminish a nation: Loss of Trade: If a nation be deprived of any branch of trade and no new employment is found of the people occupied in that branch, it will also be soon deprived of so many people.
Nobody: If you will not move your family to China, Coca Cola will find someone that will.
BF: Loss of food: When a foreign nation takes over a country's fishery...
Nobody: Since the NAFTA trade agreements, and the continued destruction of our natural food sources, mandated bio fuels with corn, NAFTA trade agreements, and now, our fishery destroyed in the gulf go be filled by China...Do you think Michelle really likes that garden in the White House?
BF: Bad Government: heavy taxes diminish a people.
Nobody: Do you feel diminished yet? No? ---Just wait.
BF: Slavery also perorates the families that use them; the white children become proud, disgusted with labor, and being educated in idleness are rendered unfit to get a living by industry.
Nobody: And go on to become Senators and Congressmen.
BF: Foreign luxuries and needless manufactures, imported and used in a nation, do by the same reasoning, increase the people of the nation that furnishes them and diminish the people of the nation that uses them. Laws, therefore, that prevent such importations, and on the contrary promote the exportation of manufactures to be consumed in foreign countries, may be called, generative laws, as by increasing subsistence they encourage marriage. Such laws likewise strengthen a country doubly by increasing its own people and diminish its neighbors.
Nobody: Our leaders...sold us out, to China, and it continues....
BF: Why should the Palatine boors be suffered to swarm into our settlement and by herding together, establish their language and manners to the exclusion of our?
Nobody: Every time I see a Muslim family here...I only wonder. I'm with Ben.
BF: Why should Pennsylvania founded by the English, become a colony of aliens, who will shortly be so numerous as to Germanize us instead of our anglifying them, and will never adopt our language or customs any more than they can acquire our complexion?
Nobody: The Germans did learn English, and joined the war against the British, but, if we had a war with Iran, would the Muslims here join the fight? And as we see...many Mexicans have no intention of giving up their language.
BF: The number of white people in the world is proportionately very small. I could wish their numbers were increased.
Nobody: So what? He wanted more white people? Is that a crime?
Now, hold on to your hats, and remember...there was no political correctness in Ben Franklin mind.
BF: Why increase the sons of Africa by planting them in America, where we have so fair an opportunity by excluding all blacks and whites of increasing the lovely white and red?
Nobody: Here in the 21st century, it is well documented that all races are prejudiced against all others. It's genetic, it's mother can be overcome, but white people, are not the only ones who practice this "prejudice." Black people would be happy if America was all black. White people feel comfortable with other whites. Poodles like other poodles, and a polar bear would prefer more polar white bears, than a big black grizzly. We cannot ignore our tribal proclivities. We cannot, ignore...evolution.
Nevertheless...unifying should be our goal...but instead, the democrats always divide color, by race, by religion, and pit us against each other again and again, in order to manage us.
So...was Ben Franklin a raciest? Here is what he ends his now thoughts with;
BP: But, perhaps I am partial to the complexion of my country, for such kind of partially is natural; to mankind.
Nobody: Amen Ben. Amen.