Friday, December 15, 2006

Princess Dianna; Fairytale Substantiated

Nobody’s Opinion; Once upon a time, in a land full of castles, lords, ladies, earls, dukes, and lots of fish and chips, there lived a young girl named Dianna.

Dianna was considered a very lucky girl by many in the land, because she happened to be born to a very rich father, and a very rich mother. But Dianna was not a happy girl.

Why? Because even though her parents were so rich, they could not protect the little girl from that nasty thing that happens even to rich people: divorce. Everyone knows there are two things that money can’t buy: a good head of hair….and true love.

The little girl was eight, when her parents broke up and the fighting was so intense. She was sent away to school, where she did very poorly. She went into her own world of dreams to escape.

This breakup made the little rich girl feeling rather like her world was falling apart. She dreamed of someday becoming a famous ballerina. She dreamed that someday a prince would come and save her from her loneliness, and he would take her to a fairyland of happiness, where she would live happily ever after.

Not far from this little girl’s rich backyard, was the real Prince of the land. His mum was the actual Queen of the land, and richer than most of the people on the earth. His dad loved his mum, because that made him one of the richest men on the earth.

But like the poor little Dianna, even as a child, this Prince was not happy. His mother the Queen, was as about as affectionate as a barracuda on a diet. She would never hug him, but once in a great while, she would shake his hand.

Not a very good recipe for a well balanced Prince,

The young Prince was considered too “sensitive” which would just not do for a young prince, so he was sent away to a boarding school to toughen him up, where he had to get up early in the morning and take cold showers. Not at all like the cozy castle life he was used to. This tended to make the young prince develop into a person very much like his mum.

The only difference being he could play polo.

The young Prince took his time growing up, but he eventually did fall in love. He met the girl of his dreams. But, she already had two children and because he was the only Prince to the throne, he needed to leave heirs to continue the Royal family.

And he had to marry a virgin. It was not looking good. Everyone in the world was gossiping…so he planned to never get married. Maybe he could adopt.

But, he knew his mother would not approve. She might not shake his hand ever again.

To solve the problem, two loving grandmothers were brought in. The two grandmothers of the two children got together and decided that since Dianna was a virgin, a Protestant, and even had royal blood in her veins (due to a lot of messing around from past kings producing out-of-wedlock babies) they convinced the young prince, who was not so young anymore that it was his royal duty to get married.

It was his royal duty.

The prince tried out Dianna’s older sister first. But of course, he needed a VIRGIN, so after a very short courtship, he switched sisters and Dianna got her dream come true.

This was much better than being a ballerina with sore toes.

The whole town of London (the land of fish and chips) was so happy that the Royals threw the biggest wedding ever seen on earth. Every national leader was invited, and all the pictures of the wedding were printed in every magazine in the world.

The whole world fell in love with the fairy tale Princess, because every parent in the world had read the story of “Cinderella” to their kids, and this was the story come true.

All the poor people could have hope and believe that fairy tales do come true.

Princess Dianna was not only beautiful at the wedding, but everyone was amazed at how anyone in the world could even walk with a veil that reached around two city blocks. For that feat alone, Dianna was admired as no other woman had been admired before in the Royal family.

It was a happy day for all the land, and television network executives.

For a while, everything seemed okay. The Princess was determined to become the best wife and Royal Future Queen ever walked the earth. She never left her house without being the best-dressed, the most perfect, and the nicest Princess to everyone. In fact, she became SO good at this royalty stuff that she made the real Queen and Prince look like old fuddy-duds. (Which they were.)

Then time went on…and Princess Dianna, who fell in love with her Prince, had done her duty in supplying the kingdom with an heir. And as if that wasn’t enough, she gave them another boy.

After that, something went wrong. The Prince figured he had done his duty, and started seeing his old flame and love of his life again.

The Princess was devastated.

Actually, she didn’t know it at the time, but she was somewhat lucky because in the old days, when a King or a Prince wanted to get rid of a wife when he found a new girlfriend, he would just think up some trumped up charge…and cut off her head.

He had to come up with something more modern.

This was not the happily ever after dream of Princess Dianna’s child-hood dreams. This was the same nightmare that she had lived through with her parents.

She started getting depressed. She even threw herself down a flight of castle stairs right in front of the Queen…hoping someone would come and pick her up.

The Queen did not even shake her hand.

Reality hit hard, and so the Princess decided to throw herself into her work. She went around the world and visited sick children, and the whole world began to love the Princess. They felt that she actually cared about everyone, and she always looked like a true Princess should.

Meanwhile, back at the palace, the REAL Prince and his mum started getting jealous. After all, she was supposed to deliver heirs, not take THEIR place as the most beloved of the Royal family. Everyone in the world grew to love her more.

This had to stop.

The Princess was also growing up, and finding her place in the world. So she decided to actually do some good by trying to clear landmines from the earth, which the United States, and most countries were really mad about.

One day, the people woke up to the news the Prince had finally got rid of the Princess. That horrible thing called divorce had struck again.

The Princess was scared. She told everyone that she feared that she would be killed. After all, she was pissing off a lot of people because she had been talking about how lonely she was. And because she was the mother of the future King, the Prince could never marry his real love.

Then one night, while she was out with her new boyfriend, who was also rich, but NOT a protestant or a virgin, she got into a horrible car accident, and the beautiful and sad Princess was taken away.

The whole world was stunned. The whole world watched it unfold. Their poor Princess sat for hours in the back of a wrecked car before they even pulled her out. Hours. The people cried---“Where is the ambulance? Where are the doctors? Oh our poor Princess!”

All over the world people were really upset. How could they take so long? Wasn’t she a princess? Even Joe the auto mechanic gets better service.

A few witnesses had seen a white car hit Princess Dianna’s limo, and motorcycles were seen with men in black. The car was never found. The witnesses never seen again.

It took hours to get to the hospital, and hours to try to save her.

Everyone in the world was thinking; “God, I hope I never have an accident in France. If a Princess can’t even get an ambulance, I’d be pretty much..f*&%.”

But then after hearing the news…the Prince did not rush to her side. Now, everyone knew he had a girlfriend, but she WAS the mother of his children…where was he?

He sort of came…in a couple of days. Then when the Prince came on TV, to face the grieving nation… he acted as if he was glad to be rid of her.

The Queen mother finally made a statement after days of everyone complaining that she wasn’t saying anything, and came out and said a few nice things.

Everyone else in the world was crying.

On the day of her funeral, the whole world was in mourning. There were so many flowers in England that still; you can find dead rose petals in the gutters.

In their hearts, most of the world, despite the vast news of an innocent accident put out--- believed that the sad Princess who had tried to bring cheer to the world had been killed.

The boys walking miles behind the father at her funeral did not help the gossip.

But, the accident was blamed on the drunk driver.

Not too much later, the Prince married his life-long love. The two love-birds looked as happy as two turtles finally mating on a rock in the sun.

The two young sons are happy, because they are the richest kids in the world--almost.

After all, the princess loved her two sons more than anything. They, unlike their parents, have felt the love of a good mother, and like Harry Potter, that kind of love sticks.

And now, another fairy tale is being written; The Royal family and the Royal press are telling the whole world that Princess Dianna was not killed. You people stop this nonsense.

To prove it they hired a man who works for the Crown. The investigator interviewed the Prince, the Queen, and the heirs…all was decided that she was killed by a drunken driver.

The crown is protected.

The moral of the story is; the rich usually get what they want. But they cannot buy love. And they cannot erase the memory of a beautiful but lonely Princess who just wanted her dreams to come true. No matter how many investigations they do.

Many, many years from now, the history books will report that Princess Dianna had a mental problem. She was really disturbed. Prince Charles will be remembered as a truly great prince and greatly loved by his people.

That’s what will be printed. But somewhere in the pubs, and sitting by the fireplaces, voices will whisper.

I don’t care what they say, she was pregnant and they had to get rid of her.”

It doesn’t matter now what the truth is. Dianna light was so bright, that men and woman will still read “Cinderella” to their children at night.

And hope that someday, there will be another Princess to give the world hope.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Nobody's Absurdities, No. 29; A Cannonade of Solar Flare Attacks

Nobody’s Opinion; After reading the news, there seems to be a run on absurdities all over the planet today. Since these “behavioral problems” seemed to be notched up to a whole new level of intensities, I’m assuming it is due to the recent solar flare explosions.

Radiation poisoning was obviously affecting the proletariat as well as the plutocrats because today, people all over the globe were freaking out more than usual.

For example, here are some plutocrat freak-outs;

The biggest freak of all, who doesn’t even need a solar flare to warp his brain , was Ahmadinejad, who exclaimed as he was shaking the hands of 6 anti-Jewish guys with long beards and black outfits, that “Israel will be wiped out.”

How you can be an orthodox Jew and anti-Israel at the same time is beyond me. Either these guys were paid actors from the ACLU, or the radiation in that room was off the charts.


The daily talk show hosts were arguing today whether it would be “ethical” to replace Senator Tim Johnson (D) of South Dakota, who it was reported that even though he went through 5 hours of surgery, did not have a stroke.

Maybe they were just looking for the missing notes taken from the National Archives by Sandy Burger.

A guy sitting in for O’Reilly’s radio program argued that if the Republicans are not ethical in this opportune moment and actually pull a “democratic” and use this advantage in the Senate, pushing the Republicans into being able to control it: it would hurt their chances in the 2008 elections. His reasoning being that if a Republican is “ethical” he will be elected.

Actually, this was proven to be a false assumption when one of the most ethical of the Republicans, Tom Trancredo, was badly defeated in the last election by an unethical Democrat.

This noble but non-pragmatic thinking is much like the moon affecting the menstrual cycles of woman. (I’ll explain later)

This was the hot story in the media today, so I’m just assuming that corporate CEO’s of radio and television stations do NOT protect their employees from the damaging solar flares.

Of course, we all knew that.


Bill Richardson, another well-fed plutocrat, who has been getting hit by these solar flares ever since he was born, is meeting for the second time with the North Korean official to try to work something out about the nuclear deals, since the North Korean officials are not welcomed at the White House. Of course, Bill helped them get them all the stuff they needed to make the nukes in the first place, so they must be here to ask for more stuff.

I suggest they just take Bill back to North Korea and plug into his brain.


Di Craprio, the young homeless actor turned famous Hollywood star, announced today that he wants ANSWERS to the environmental horrors coming our way. NOW.

My nobody suggestion is that he needs to call up Angelina Jolie and adopt. It’s as good as plastic surgery to help Hollywood solar flare damage overload.


And in a heated moment of burning radiation, 10 members of Congress (Republican and Democrats, just so you know that solar flares are NOT particular to one party or the other) are going on a 3-day trip to sunny Cuba to talk to Raul Castro about trade.

When they get there they will of course do what they always do when they go anywhere…take a vacation at our expense.

And here are some proletariat burn-outs;

In Edmond, Oklahoma, a package of cocaine was found at the toy section in Wal-Mart.

Actually, what a clever way to ship drugs---put them in toys. The kids will get hooked, probably on Christmas morning while mom and dad are still in bed.

And since Wal-Mart is a trusted name all over the world, who would know?

The very fact that the ACLU is not suing Wal-Mart for this negligence proves either that the ACLU lawyers are: either suffering from heat stroke, or they are getting a cut.


In Florida a woman reported that her singing Santa’s head was cut off and run over and flattened. Also, someone stole her baby Jesus.

Actually, this nobody thinks she should be glad she doesn’t live in New York, where they tend to put excrement on anything religious.

Florida suffers deeply from all kinds of radiation sickness and sun flares. I should know. I used to live there.

I suggest putting a bomb of red paint in baby Jesus’ bodies that will explode when moved. Then everyone in the town will know who took the baby Jesus.

The sentencing for defacing or removing any Christian religious symbol should be ten years in jail or ten-years attending church. If you don’t show up, then you go to jail.


Even more sadly, pigs seemed to be freaking out too from the flares. (Real ones!)

In Vancouver, a 500-pound pig bounced out of the back of a truck today, and a woman got out of her car and blocked oncoming traffic from killing it.

After that, the sheriff awarded the woman the slaughtered pig to feed her and her family for the rest of the year.

No, I made that up. The sheriff slaughtered the pig and took it home to his family. He was a plutocrat, probably French.

Are you kidding? I have no idea what they did with that 500 pound pig. I’m getting hot flashes from solar flares just thinking it.


But wait, there’s more pig news.

In West Point, Mississippi, where the sun is extremely hot; pig tossing is the new cool thing to do.

People are tossing 60-pound pigs over hotel counters, fast food counters, filling station counters, in fact any old counter is game…just for fun.

Put up a counter in front of your house, and you won’t have to buy food.

If the sun gets any hotter there, we might see some bank robberies where pigs will be tossed over counters in exchange for money to be taken out of some plutocrat’s account and put into national savings accounts for all citizens in Mississippi, since no one in Mississippi has one.


And just when you thought you’d had enough, you have to go on and try to explain why solar flares can affect sexual conduct.

In Southbury, Connecticut, a 41-year-old man named Scott Kravica was driving nude in his car and pestering a woman truck driver.

Much further south in Columbia City, Indiana, a young male teen was driving around fast food places and ordering food in the nude.

This shows you just how hot this solar flare is. The distance between these two cities is great. But while the cops in Connecticut arrested the 41-year-old guy, the 18-year-old got off.


And in Conger, Georgia, a man tried to cook his x-wife into the oven in front of their 5 children on Thanksgiving.

Now, you men might not find this abnormal, but the fact that he went home to his mother’s house and hide under the bed is a little strange.


And in Boston, a city known as a hotbed of solar flares, a former strip club waitress was sending condoms filled with explosives through the mail to all kinds of guys because she was “tired of being mistreated by men.” Due to the fact that none of the condoms blew up, she was let off.

This goes to show that all the men on MND have a point about the legal system being in favor of the female sex.

Which means that the only people on the planet not affected by the solar flares are the writers of MND and Barney, the White House dog.


Going down under to Sydney, Australia, where a prodigious reader of MND, amfortas, tells us that you don’t even have to be an aborigine to get welfare, (you just need to show a false picture of one posing as your granddad)--- a 7-foot python was pulled out of a woman’s toilet.

One wonders how much radiation affected the person who sat on this toilet before this lovely python was discovered. It was reported that he was extremely healthy. (The python, that is.)

As was the alligator that border agents found in a suitcase in Yuma, Arizona, along with 13 grams of grass.


And speaking of grass, some guy’s brain in Wichita, Kansas, was completely burnt out because he called 9/11 to report that someone stole a pound of his stash of grass by gunpoint.

When you mix drugs with solar flares, you might be able to destroy a whole nation. (I know, don’t say it.)


And my particularly favorite goes to the Saudi Arabian men. They have been solar flared, melted down, and radiated so badly that even Al Gore will not be able to save them.

Saudi women are now allowed to sell cars, but not to drive them. And even though over half of the woman in Saudi Arabia own cars, the reasoning is “Women by nature cannot cope with such hard work.” I guess that means driving is hard work.

I beg to differ. It must be truly hard work for the Saudi woman to raise a complete nation of tyrants and idiots…I don’t know how they bear it.

Nobody’s Perfect; Wait, there’s more. Vladimir Kraminik, the world champion chess player, was beaten by Deep Fritz, a computer, who is NOT affected by solar flairs for some reason.

I don’t know who made that computer, but I think we need to elect Deep Fritz for President in 2008.

Nobody Knows; If you are walking on the moon when a solar flare happens to pop up, you’re good as dead. Al Gore somehow will try to blame man for destroying the atmosphere on the moon for this danger.

Back in caveman days, women menstruated to the cycles of the moon. And if woman work around each other, their cycles will start synchronizing on the same days.

So, that explains why there are more songs about the moon, than solar flares.
(Okay…leave me alone)

Nobody cares; In Stockholm, Sweden, border control officers made photocopies of the passports of all the exemplary beautiful women that passed through, and kept files on them.

Maybe if some of our border patrol agents did that here, we might catch a few illegal immigrants.

And the chances of that happening are about as much as the sun never having another solar flare, or the absurdities on the earth disappearing forever.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Michael Moore Does Bagdad with Marshmallows

Nobody’s Opinion; I got an e-mail from a “liberal” friend today, who sent me an article/letter that Michael Moore had written. My friend’s comments were; “You might not like Michael Moore, but here’s the facts, sweetie.”

I just love it when he calls me sweetie.

When I think of Michael Moore in my mind, I usually have a picture of the giant Stay-Puff Marshmallow man in the movie, Ghostbusters. You know---the one who walks through New York City and destroys everything with big wads of marshmallow goop.

Can you see the connection?

Anyway, let’s take some of the things Michael says, and give it some thought.

Michael says: Tomorrow marks the day that we will have been in Iraq longer than we were in all of World War II. We were able to defeat all of Nazi Germany, Mussolini, and the entire Japanese empire in LESS time than it’s taken the world’s only superpower to secure the road from the airport to downtown Baghdad.

Nobody; Gee Michael, just why do you think that is? Back in WWII, when men were allowed to be men, when Americans were allowed to ‘KILL’ the enemy, and that INCLUDED civilians, woman, children and all their houses and places of worship, it was much easier to win a war. If we were ALLOWED to fight like we did in that war, we could have bombed Bagdad in about one day…made another Dresden pancake. Oh, and don’t forget Truman dropping the two big radioactive gumdrops. Try again.

Michael says: We can’t protect ourselves from a homemade device of two tin cans placed in a pothole.

Nobody; Well, our soldiers are not allowed to fire at anyone, unless they are under attack. But anyone who’s been in a war, knows that in that game, you lose because you CAN”T fire back, because of the fact that you are probably dead. It’s the Democrats that have tied our boy’s hands, and put them in mortal danger. It’s a really stupid way to fight a war. You should try it sometime.

Come on over to my house and we’ll have a game of “You can’t throw the pie at me until I throw FIRST!” I’m sure you would love it. Just for you, I will bake a really BIG pie, in a really BIG steel pie case. I’ll load up the whip cream to soften the blow, because I don’t actually think you’re evil, just mental.

And Michael, I would like to see you say that to the soldiers in person. Go ahead, stand with them face to face and belittle them for not being able to save their buddies. I’d like to come along and make a movie of YOU talking to them.

We’ll call it “Michael Moore goes Tin Can Hunting in Bagdad.”

Michael says: It is a lost war, lost because it never had a right to be won. Lost by men who hide behind others sent to fight and die.

Nobody; Michael, you’ve been listening to old Bob Dylan albums again. When Hillary becomes President, then by your reasoning she should be sent to the front lines. Good idea. After all, George Washington led men into battle. I believe in women’s liberation, and so does Hillary. She needs to prove herself manly enough to lead the nation.

I suggest we get her over there for training right away. After all, she doesn’t even have to come back to campaign. Tom Delay has told us she will be President because she has the money, and he should know.

Michael says; According to a recent poll conducted by the University of Maryland: 71% of all Iraqis now want the U.S. out of Iraq.

; The University of Maryland? That’s not much of an authority on anything, is it Michael? What---was this done by the freshman class? Did they take a field trip to Iraq and poll all the people? Where did you get that fact? When was the last time you were in Maryland? When you went bowling?

Michael says: There are many ways to liberate a country. Usually, the residents of that country rise up and liberate themselves.

Nobody: I don’t know if you have noticed lately Mikey, but the concept of “freedom” is not exactly a talking point of the Muslim religion. In fact, you say our country did it, but our country had been practicing “freedom” for over 100 years before the revolution.

It might take a whole generation before they “get” it…but maybe if you went over there to Iraq, you could help out. Why haven’t you done that Michael?

You could name the documentary, “Michael Moore is Dying for Freedom in Bagdad”

Maybe you could win an award for keeping Wal-Mart out of Saddam’s City.

Michael says: “A country can HELP another people overthrow a tyrant (that’s what the French did for us in our revolution), but after you help them, you leave. Immediately. The French didn’t stay and tell us how to set up our government. They didn’t say, “We’re not leaving because we want your natural resources.”

Nobody: I’m going to go easy with you on this one, simply because your passion is so…well…like a warm and fuzzy Dr. Seuss lost in “Why can’t the world be better if we all wear blue shoes?” land.

France wanted something in return for her help in the Revolution. And it wasn’t just the presence of Benjamin Franklin’s funny hats, wonderful stories, and late night drunken feasts with the French woman. They expected not only western land, fishing rights, and money, but an actual say in the new government itself.

If not for the stubbornness of John Adams, who was the only one fighting the French ministers: who fought for our independence on every point with the French so much, they hated his guts, America would be partly owned by the French. And when the whole thing was about to collapse, when the war was about to be lost… it wasn’t the French who jumped in, it was the efforts of one short, stubby, and unpopular John Adams who went to the Dutch and got the money to win the war. (all by himself, I might add.)

Its okay Michael, I know you mean well, you’re just a few bowling balls short of a split.

Michael says: But at our core we are a good people. We may be slow, but that “Mission Accomplished” banner struck us as odd, and soon we began to ask some questions.

Nobody; Yes, we are a good people, I agree. But sometimes we have people with rotten cores that don’t know that inside the apple, there are worms, and frankly, don’t care.

The spin the media put on that wonderful American image was a disgrace. I thought the moment when our President landed the plane and gave thanks to the men and woman on that destroyer was absolutely one of the best moments of his office.

Those men and women deserved his attention...

And all I took the banner to mean, was that “Mission Accomplished” meant that the men and woman ON THAT SHIP had done their jobs and could take a break. I didn’t take it at the time that we were through in Iraq. In fact, he said so on in his speech on the boat.

BUT Noooooo…Stay-Puff boy has a short attention span. He thought it was a documentary.

By the way, at least President George W. Bush can fit into a fighting jet.

Michael says; This is what we demand; bring the troops home now. We’ve lost. There are few evils worse than waging a war based on a lie, invading another country because you want what they have buried under the ground.

Nobody; Hey, I’m with you. Who started that lie? The lie that every single leader of every single nation in the world believed. Who? Mmmmm? There was a couple, good friends of Bill Clinton, something about a “rumor” in Africa? A CIA wife sends her bored of being in the Hampton’s husband to Africa…disinformation…works every time.

And now Michael, the Democrats are crying for MORE troops.

I bet it just upsets your beanie French pajamas that we have a President who is going to let the boys have one more Christmas at home.

After all, it may be their last. But what’s that you say? Why, thousands of troops should be sent NOW…how dare he let them stay home for Christmas with their families, it’s not what the people want.

Gee Michael…you were a Roman Catholic and an Eagle Scout...I suggest you hurry over and get yourself a gun. Maybe others will follow.

Michael says; As much as people of good heart and conscience don’t want to believe this, as much as it kills us to accept defeat, there is nothing we can do to undo the damage we have done. If you were to drive drunk down the road and you killed a child, there would be nothing you could to bring that child back to life.

Nobody; Okay, that’s enough. Comparing brave American soldiers trying to bring a better life to people who have never known freedom, to a drunk driving down the road, is where my sense of humor is getting thin.

I suppose you’re right Michael. If some drunk happens to kill you on one of your more insulting and naïve moments of compassionate money making moments of glory, don’t blame me.

You asked for it. And don’t blame me if that drunk isn’t carrying a banner that says, “Mission Accomplished.”

After all, I’m just a stupid white woman married to a stupid white man. While you are a…stupid white man who happens to look like the Sta-puff marshmallow man.

Merry Christmas!

Nobody’s Perfect; No wonder Michael Moore loves France. They have given him two film awards for his stupid white boy tricks and probably some really cool underwear too.

Nobody Knows; Does Michael Moore have parents? Does his mother look like Benny Hill?

Nobody Cares; He is now doing a documentary called, “Sicko” Actually, I do think the man has talent, it’s just that he reminds me of that relative that everyone has--- you know, the guy who talks the loudest at the family table and always thinks he’s right.

The relative that you secretly hope your dog will bite?

Hey…I don’t have one…Michael?

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Historically Speaking, It's What You Don't Know That Might Kill Ya'

Nobody’s Opinion; History is a funny thing. I once asked my old Western Civilization teacher just how a historian finds out the REAL truth about the past.

“Well, besides reading all the books on a subject, and doing interviews…just how does one really KNOW what really happened? How do historians go about finding out the real truth?” I asked.

Like a lot of professors, he said they just read and research. Not the answer I was looking for.

But the more you read, the more amazed you are about just how much important historical facts are left out of history purposely. And the stuff that is rewritten or purposely left out can make all the difference in the world.

Samuel Butler once said, “It has been said that though God cannot alter the past, historians can: it is perhaps because they can be useful to Him in this respect that He tolerates their existence.”

As I was reading in the Covenant Presbyterian Church’s “The Living Bible Encyclopedia” the other day, I was surprised to learn that, according to this historical version, when Moses came down from the Mt. Sinai with the Ten Commandments and asked the sinful people, “Who is on the Lord’s side? Come to me.” Only the Levi came.

Moses then ordered them to kill everyone who didn’t join up. About three thousand were slaughtered.

Gee, somehow, they left that out of the movie.

That means that Moses was really not much different than a modern day Ahmadinejad.

The Bible has so many different versions, each one written for a different purpose or sect. The last one I saw, was so far fetched it looked like Paris Hilton wrote it.

So, did this really happen?

We have recently seen this rewriting in the “Da Vinci Code:” a book that was written to purposely question the validity of the divinity of Jesus. You might even go a little further and say that it had very political motive: to help get rid of that pesky Christianity that is bothering the Muslims, progressives, and university professors so much.

In the Da Vinci Code, they talk about how the Gospels were rewritten long ago by a group of men, to write the importance of Mary Madeline out of history.

It might be true. But that still doesn’t alter the effect of Jesus’ philosophies and teachings.

Still, it would make sense that men did not want a woman in the limelight. In the context of the time, it would make sense.

It even makes sense today.

We saw this same mindset happen when an ex-President not too long ago slandered as many old “girlfriends” as he could, just to damage their reputations. Reports were put out that they were “trailer trash.” None of these women deserved the attacks they received.

God forbid history remember Bill Clinton only as a horn dog.

Clinton has a special talent for rewriting history. During his impeachment, he made sure that all the dirt on past Presidents was known. He had to “sully” and “damage” each and every one of the founders, so that he would not be alone in his bad behavior. He was saying, “Hey…all our founders fooled around too…see?”

We had to hear on our TV’s, and many books were produced along with it the well planned and delivered “crisis control” about Jefferson and Sally Hemming producing children out-of-wedlock. George Washington was even slandered.

And even though it was nothing new to report, as these scandals had been known in their own times, to dig up these facts as a “defense” to make an unbelievably corrupt President feel better was a real first.

Clinton also had the history books in the schools rewritten, as soon as he got into office. Political correctness became the bible for the young ones, and it was incorporated into all the books, especially the science books.

Most parents had no idea this was going on.

In my son’s college American Government Book, there were no less than fifteen pictures of the man. He made himself more important than any historical American figure with that sweep of power.

When I saw that “mandatory” course, I told my son to get out of the college.

Since his Presidency, we have seen Bill Clinton do nothing but desperately try to rewrite his own legacy. The disgrace of his actions in office, has now become the story of how Bill Clinton saved the Constitution. He is proud of his impeachment for that reason.

I bet Madison is somewhere fuming.

If Bill has it his way, he will be the one and only savior of mankind, and when Hillary becomes President, that lie will be read by every lst grader in the world.

I wouldn’t doubt if his picture isn’t included on the Aids vaccines. Frankly, I would put his picture on all condoms, it would be more historically factual. (In reality, the Chinese actually have already named a condom in his honor.)

This rewriting of history has been around as long as historical records have been kept. Who knows what kind of big stories the Pharaohs told their hieroglyphics writers to say?

“Hey, say we killed ten thousands at that battle, draw a good picture of me. Nobody will know that we never made it to the battlefield. Who’s going to know?”

Disinformation and the art of propaganda was used long before Goebbels.

My generation’s wakeup call came one fateful November day in 1963. When JFK was shot, right before our eyes, any sense of justice and truth was denied to us.

We wanted to know the truth of what happened.

Our government ordered that the “truth” be shuffled away into an archive. We were to just settle for; well, it was one guy. Go back to work.

And even with the hundreds of books written on the subject, we might never know the truth.

Now, our leaders pick and choose just what they want you to know, and put it on the nightly news, and you are to accept it. Why not? It’s all delivered by extremely good-looking women and men.

Just now, in 2006, we are finally finding out that our men in Vietnam won most of their battles. For years we were lead to believe all our boys were stoned baby-killers.

Now we know it was the politicians that lost the war. We see this very same thing happening now. We are losing in Iraq due to the same leftist Marxists that controlled the halls of Congress back in the Vietnam days. After all, remember, Hillary was part of that impeachment committee.

It’s a small town. You keep seeing the same names. Too many are entrenched in the spokes of power. And they write the rules.

The other day when Daddy Bush broke down and sobbed about how “honest” his son was, all I could think of is: this isn’t just a father being upset about his son’s historical record, it’s much more than that, and God help us all if we ever find out

Today, as I was walking in a book store, I noticed a huge, and brand new “History of the World” book, had been put out by Time…very impressive. And most likely filled with history presented a whole new way. I didn’t even have to look at it to know that America would probably have a very small section, and slanted as “not very important in the whole of history.”

Now, a manic named Ahmadinejad wants to rewrite history again. He wants to convince the world that millions of Jews were not cooked in ovens by the Nazi’s. The rewriting of history has been taken to a whole new level of insanity.

Okay, we know better. But millions of Muslims throughout the world do not. And this is where the danger lies.

The only way we can fight this is with a relentless battle for history to be preserved. We, the ordinary nobodies of America, need to preserve our history. Even the history of our own immigration is being rewritten by our own leaders so we will accept the invasion of Mexico.

It’s not right. It’s got to stop. We need to be louder. Get madder.

For our soldiers, and our children’s sake, we need to fight more for our right to our own history. We should stop watching the political advertising promoted as real news.

David McCullough, America’s greatest historian, is very concerned. If a nation does not know its history, it is doomed to be ruled by tyrants.

It wouldn’t hurt to start reading the words of our founders to our children at bedtime. You can still read Harry Potter, but a little George Washington never hurt anyone.

Many, many years after I was out of school, and read for the first time the words of George Washington, Jefferson, Adams, Madison, and Franklin--- it opened up a whole new world for me.

Why oh why did I not read these words in school? Why was I just made to memorized dates?

You know why, and so do I. They are suppressed on purpose, as they have been for years.

Our schools are not teaching the difference between Communism, Marxism, and Socialism. They have not been teaching about the Holocaust for years. Years.

The last thing they want the kids to do is think, or chose. They are being programmed to “accept” and “tolerate.”

They are rewriting, and reprogramming the kids, and they know it.

Only the American people can stop this nonsense. If we leave history up to our current politicians and rewritten history books, we will have no future.

If we continue to let our “schools” program our kids with state sponsored brainwashing, what kind of life will they have?

John Adams once said; “The jaws of power are always open to devour, and her arm is always stretched out, if possible, to destroy the freedom of thinking, speaking, and writing.”

He also said, “Liberty cannot be preserved without knowledge among people.”

All of our founders were much more educated than 96% of the University professors today. I think we would be wise to rely on something in history that really was true.

That the 1776 revolution produced the greatest country in the world.

And that’s pretty much an historical fact that should be written down in history books forever.

But, that’s just my nobody’s humble opinion.

Nobody’s Perfect; Henry Adams, one of America’s greatest Historians, wanted to devise a scientific method of history. He wanted to make a blueprint of how certain historical events will lead to a certain end. Somehow, he never could figure out how to do it.

I think someone should take up where he left off.

Nobody Knows; Just how much real history has been lost forever. Like the library at Alexandria, burnt to the ground, just how many documents have been destroyed forever to protect lies and corruption.

Nobody Cares; I got in this serious mood after reading “I Had A Dream” and because yesterday, I thought I saw the date…1776, at the top of MND site.

Did this happen? Was this an historical fact? Mmmmmm

Monday, December 11, 2006

Nobody Monopolizes Conspiracies

Nobody’s Opinion; You might be wondering just where this nobody has been for the last week…and you might even have heard that St. Louis suffered a “storm” that took out all electrical power grids for 500,000 people last week. Yes…somehow this “ice storm” (which delivered a small sleet of ice, and one inch of snow) conveniently and compassionately left all restaurants and shopping malls wired up for all us poor, bored and freezing nobodies to come and visit, while inconveniently leaving thousands to suffer in unheated homes in the biggest cold spell for several years.

Instead of homebound families sitting around lighted candles in the cold and actually “talking” to each other….they could go someplace warm and spend money!

Anyway, I think that was the plan.

The weatherman before last Thursday night was acting as if we were going to be hit by the doomsday of all doomsdays…but were we worried? NO! We have trusted salt trucks. And salt trucks are great---but you have to use them. Which for some strange reason, even though they KNEW ice was coming…they did nothing.

Usually, the trucks are out before the storm.

The day after the “storm” all salt trucks stood abandoned by the side of the road. Perhaps the bird flu had finally come. Somewhere a Bostonian was sitting in front of his TV and laughing at the news, repeating the word not yet banned in America—“morons.”

Yes, no salt trucks, but we DID have get the National Guard. How thoughtful of them.
Was this another programming “get used to the military coming into your town” scenario?

Being deprived of all the brilliant and informative columns on MND was hard enough.

But, ever since Bill Gates had the great idea that the whole world should be connected---you know the TV, phone, and internet to one cable line: if that ONE cable line goes out, you go back to burning wood in your fireplace just like your forefathers.

This, minus the forefathers, is exactly where Al Gore would prefer us all to be.

Not too long ago, before this merging of all your stuff onto one line, if everything in your house went out, you still had the phone line. And soon the only place in America where you will be able to see a public telephone box is on old reruns of Dr. Who.

Okay, you have your cell phone, granted. (The cell phone that the government can listen to even when it is turned off.) But when you have no electric, you can’t charge it. And if you don’t have a car, you could end up with no communication power at all. Better not fall down that flight of stairs in the dark. (Like this nobody did)

They gave us a week of suffering to “think” about this.

All of St. Louis was rushing to the Home Depots, buying up generators (which were marked up incredibly---god bless supply and demand) and wood. My husband and I also ran around looking for one, but no luck. Every generator within thirty miles was sold out.

It soon became evident that stores would not have enough of anything if there was some kind of “attack” and everyone made a rush to buy…toilet paper.

Things could get nasty as we saw in New Orleans.

When they say we are not prepared, they are understating the fact.

Still, people have enough bills to pay without stockpiling food, only to discard it all after six months and refill. And most people in Middle America think foolishly that nothing will happen in their city.

Why do I feel that like “children,” we are being forced to stock up on supplies? Why do I feel that something is coming soon and because we just can’t believe it we are being manipulative into taking certain steps?

Is it just my missing my cozy Muslim neighbors?

Call me crazy--- but when the next President (or Vice President) might be named Osama Hussein: a man trained in that wonderful breeding ground of global nutcases, Harvard…

The next United Nations representative from the United States we are told might be named Khalilzad…

The current President begged us to sell our precious ports to Muslims while lobbying to get the number of visas given to Muslims, upgraded by thousands…and this was after 9/11…

When a former cabinet member named James Baker…a man whose law firm in Dubai represents the Saudi’s, and who personally represented them when the Saudi’s were being sued by many of the 9/11 families, comes out with a plan for America to retreat from Iraq and negotiate with the latest madmen of the millennium, who happens to dress just like Osama… (The next Presidential wannabe)

When a country is taking over by a band of people who love communism/socialism and hate America…

When globalization is the new mantra...for both political parties. In fact it’s so important they secretly sign treaties for the merger of the whole North America into a new nation, while continuing to rake up trade deficits numbers as vast as the galaxies...

When camera’s are silently being put up everywhere, and every night you hear Tommy Thompson warning you to stock up on supplies….

When Newt Gingrich says, “We tried that social program on prisoners and it works well!” and you wonder…”Who are “we?”

Why should manipulating the public with a little power outage be surprising?

Being the book slut that I am, I remembered when reading Clinton’s biography I thought how really strange it was that he picked New Orleans as his favorite city. I also thought how strange it was that he mentioned how very big the population of older black people there. He was almost maudlin in his memories of it and his affection for those older black retired people on welfare, sitting down there in New Orleans.

He fixed his love of it to his mother of course, but this nobody wondered…it was almost as if he knew what was coming and had all the chess pieces in place. He is certainly capable of this…just ask Dick Morris, who swears by Bill Clinton’s GODLIKE intelligence.

I found it hard believing that Bill Clinton preferred New Orleans over Hollywood. After all, have you ever seen a picture of Bill in the French Quarter? No, me neither.

I was also reading the excellent book by Michael Crichton called “State of Fear.” A book of fiction, in which factual weather manipulation is mixed in with his usual superb writing.

Doesn’t it strike you as strange that the year Katrina hit, all the many hurricanes that came toward that city? How many were there? Around 13? It was like…okay, sooner or later, one will hit. We just need to keep trying.

The next year, not one.

Weather manipulation is a fact, not fiction. William Cohen, Bill Clinton’s Secretary of Defense, has said as much. He was more worried about weather manipulation being used as a weapon then nuclear proliferation.

After all the Chinese are really into it, and use it often.

It gives you something besides the twin towers imploding to think about.

So, what are the chances of St. Louis having two major electrical system blackouts in one year? After all, it’s not like we are southern California. Sure, we had 80,000 Bosnians shipped here by Bill Clinton, but we are not exactly a destination point for anyone.

Why St. Louis? Didn’t Osama bin Laden say that the people who voted for Bush would be targeted? What’s here to hurt any rich person’s stock portfolio? Like New Orleans we have a predominately big minority population. Ford moved overseas, the shoe industry left long ago. The printers strike in the seventies wiped out competing newspapers and the whole industry of printers.

Oh, we have a new ball park, and the Busch Brewery.

We may not be New Orleans, but we do have Chuck Berry.

Okay, maybe Chuck will be spared.

Another city of the poor blacks and helpless old people being “abused” by FEMA once again would make another great negative notch in the White House attack portfolio.

Okay, by now you are wondering…if I have actually thawed out my brain yet. After all, people who sit around thinking up conspiracy theories are considered one deck short of Texas not holding em’.

The fact that Bill Clinton was listening to Princess Dianna’s phone conversations the night she died, was simply routine, not to worry. He was just getting his sexual jollies probably.

Still, remember what George Orwell once said. “Within any important issue, there are always aspects no one wishes to discuss.”

Now during this blackout, we couldn’t get to our online banking to move money, unless we actually WENT to the bank.

Has anyone noticed how we are being gently manipulated to do all our money transactions online?

And this got me to thinking…if we become the “cashless society” with all online transactions done on the internet, and the National ID card replaces, along with Credit Cards, actual cash someday becoming a thing of the past, we will all marvel how wonderful it is not to have to deal with pennies, UNTILL a “storm” hits.

Then we will be completely powerless. We would not be able to get cash. The government would have complete control over our spending power.

And if we wanted to complain about it, who would hear it? With the internet down, millions would be silenced.

The electric was out here for over a week. It hit home the lesson that our whole system of government is failing, as we are witnessing daily.

Somehow, it all seems so surreal. Even the very things that we take for granted, that have always been there, like salt trucks, can become obsolete.

Another jihad strike would leave us all defenseless, with no help at all from the government.

And here in St. Louis, we have only one utility company. This means, you have no choice but to wait on their services.

And with the merging of all the multinationals, utilities, and even the airlines, soon there will be just one huge monopolistic government. Which I fear, is the aim.

And in real life, monopoly is not a good thing. This nobody will take the conspiracy theory over a monopoly every time.

This nobody is actually going to start stocking, again. If Abigail Adams could run a farm for years, all by herself, with no electricity, no internet, no cell phone or television, then this nobody can certainly go out and get prepared.

I plan to start stocking up with peanut covered M& M’s. It’s a start.

After all…you can’t say they didn’t warn us…the answer is blowing not only in the wind, but in my nobody mind.

Nobody’s Perfect; Even after the electrical blackout we had here in July, the head of the electrical company swore they would address the problems so that if it every happened again, they would be ready.

So, when it happened a second time, and they were even less prepared, they said it was due to the need to increase rates.

Guess you can’t think of everything.

Nobody Knows; What will happen when they set up electrical grids on the moon, and there is a “storm,” just how long it will take to get the grid up and running.

And even if the moon doesn’t have “storms,” there will be another reason for the blackout…moon dust or something.

Nobody Cares; There should be a Thomas Edison National Holiday. After all…he lit up the whole world, stared the concept of “movies”, helped us actually be able to “hear” the telephone…all the things that make the world comfortable.

But, he was the quintessence of individual ingenuity, and that’s why he has silently been erased to the back pages of heroes. History has been rewritten to erase him, as they have erased Booker T. Washington.

But, thanks to Thomas Edison, I have the most glorious Christmas tree on the block, which now is thankfully, back on the power grid.