Friday, November 03, 2006

Sam Adams and Ladies of Class

Nobody’s Opinion; Let me tell you about a special lady.

Some time ago, between being a little bored and extremely bored, I decided to draw a portrait of a woman that I admired so that I could send it to her. And since her portrait came out so well, I said to myself…well I might as well do her husband too while I’m at it. She might like that.

I do this a lot. If I like someone, I will draw their portrait on a special craft that I do, and I can’t describe it, or I’d have to kill you. (Just kidding, that’s what my husband tells me when I ask about his old days in the Seals.)

Suffice it to say, it takes some time to draw a portrait on this “object.” This “object” is so hard to draw on you feel like your peeling an onion with a dull knife. It’s a major challenge, and I don’t do it often.

Anyway…I got so involved in this project, that I also drew a picture of Mark Twain because I knew this lady liked Mark Twain. Just for fun, I drew a portrait of Babe Ruth and Willy Maze as I knew she also liked baseball.

Now, because I was on a roll, I drew three more portraits of people I don’t even remember now, and put them in an envelope and mailed them off feeling pleased as punch about myself, and then just forgot about it.

Then one day, I got a letter from her secretary. The letter said that they were sorry, but this lady could not make any endorsements.

Wow---this was funny I thought, because I had put at least five days of hard work in these portraits, and they were meant to be “gifts.” I thought I had made that clear.

So, I wrote the secretary of this lady back and said…oh NO…you got it all wrong, these are hers to keep. Actually, the one I did of her was really, really good.

But, if she didn’t like the portraits I said, please send them back to me because I put some time in them and would like to keep them. I enclosed a huge envelope smeared with about thirty stamps for their return.

Two days later, I got a call…from her secretary. She said she was so sorry, so very, very sorry…she owed me a big apology. You see, somehow my letter had been read by someone else in the office and that young girl did not understand the letter, and her boss (the lady) was a REAL stickler on this kind of thing and insisted she call me and apologize and thank me…and she keep going on and on as if she, the “secretary,” had committed the most horrendous mistake a “secretary” can make in her secretary life.

Yeah, here I was, as you all know by now, a complete nobody, being called by Laura Bush’s private secretary, who kept talking to me on the phone like I was actually “important.”

Right away I felt guilty for somehow causing this mess in the first place. This poor lady…working with the first lady of our country had to have enough pressure going on in her busy day, and she had to stop and call some nobody like me to try to explain, and even get forgiveness, for some simple mistake that wasn’t even her fault.

If course I laughed and said…please tell the first Lady to read the letter.

In the letter I basically tried to be lighthearted and told her that she must be sure to have the President mandate that his future statue which would go into statuary hall after his Presidency, did not go next to poor Sam Adams, which was relegated down in the basement in front of the ladies bathroom.

I explained that Bill Clinton’s statue would be better in the basement in front of the ladies restroom, and thought that I, a nobody, had actually stated a very important fact that was important to the future citizens of America.

And--- since her husband had so much on his mind, I thought maybe it would be something she could make sure of on her own, because future citizens would be thankful. After all, with Iran, Iraq, Democrats, Hurricanes, the twins, the dogs, the decorations…the events…it might not get though of.

Now, as we watch all this nastiness going on in the upcoming elections, I think about that day. There is no doubt in my mind that Hillary Clinton would never have given her “secretary” strict orders to call somebody like me unless I had sent her a check for at least $100,000---and maybe not even then.

And that is why Laura Bush is a very special Lady. Which means our President certainly has excellent taste. And the fact that she raised two very normal and beautiful girls shows just how much we can all admire her.

She did write me back a short note. She mentioned, that she thought I was “humorous!”

I really don’t know why she thought my suggestion of planning their future statues was funny, because I was serious. I was still upset about Sam.

This is our first lady. No matter what happens, she retains the highest picture of real class, and we are so lucky to have her.

I’m also sure, that if we only knew all the people that our President and first Lady have personally reached out and touched in some way, we would be shocked, but I am sure we will never know.

When she walked down to the Capitol in her pretty white suit after the last election, I thought she was the most beautiful first lady that had ever graced the White House.

I still do. When the White House takes the time to call a nobody---well, that says an awful lot about who’s in it. And that’s why I believe the President when he says he is doing the best he can to protect us. Because, not only does he have the Democrats to fight in this, something tells me if he wasn’t doing his best…in that hellhole called Washington D.C., he just might get a call, from a very special secretary. And that’s a thought before you vote in the next elections.

Nobody’s Perfect; Once in a while I do get these urges to write famous people. Once, when I heard a speech by a wonderful man on Rush’s radio broadcast, I wrote him a four-page letter about how moved I was by it, poor man.

A month later, Charlton Heston wrote me back. I have it framed and on the wall next to Laura’s. in my office.

Nobody Knows; Laura Bush also is an avid bird watcher I’ve read. And I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but since Laura became first Lady, the libraries have improved immensely. Something tells me that’s not a coincidence.

Nobody Cares; That’s a picture of me up top, taken in the year 2000. I was in the Capitol and had just come out of the downstairs ladies restroom, when to my surprise, there was Sam Adams. I had the janitor take my picture next to Sam Adams. As you can see…I thought it was really funny. No WONDER I couldn’t find it upstairs.

For someone who practically started the whole revolution…I thought it was rather absurd. Maybe someday they will move the poor guy upstairs to the main room where he belongs.

Las Vegas, Harry Ried, and the Merging Mafia

Nobody’s Opinion; Today while skipping around the net, I found an interesting bit by Tony Blankley on Townhall that I hadn’t given much thought to lately.

It was about the Senate "soon to be" Majority Leader Harry Reid. It seems that Reid had “inadvertently” failed to report on his financial disclosure statement that he had secretly become a majority stockholder of Caesar’s Palace, The Golden Nugget, The Bellagio, The Venetian, Harrah’s, The Mirage, MGM Grand, and Mandalay Bay. They were all just friendly “handshake” deals that had increased his assets from $812.37 to $3.7 billion.

In case you have never been there, all these hotels are very close together in the middle of the Las Vegas main strip.

The Ethics Committee dismissed this as a “coincidence.” A proposed zoning change was pushed by Senator Reid just before the eight “handshakes” would have put each of these hotels out of business. The reason this struck me as funny is because if I am correct, Harry Reid wants the President impeached for Iraq.

This puts President Bush in a very good light I’d say.

Gee, Mr. Reid, if I shake your hand, could I get some new tires?

Why wasn’t this big scandal on the news? Surely we could forget about the sad life of Nicole wanna be Marilyn Monroe and her many paternical sperming boyfriends and go on to the more exciting subject of Harry Reid’s magical handshakes.

The Ethics Committee must have had the same people that were on the 9/11 committee.

I love these committees. They are always headed by the very same people that did the crimes.

Of course my nobody mind started thinking about why you never hear about the Mafia anymore. I mean, what happened to em’? Oh sure, we all got caught up in the Soprano’s, but before that, it was as if the Mafia and the government just sort of merged. Nobody ever talks about that.

Which is the point.

Okay, just last month internet gambling was outlawed on the net. I did not hear one complaint, did you? I would have thought all the porn was doing much more damage to the nation than grandma playing Texas hold-em on her computer.

What---are the Indian’s Casinos not doing too well? Can we deduce that if Wal-Mart has a bad quarter that gambling is maybe suffering too?

Now, all of a sudden…everyone is “going to Las Vegas!”

Why, I saw Sheppard Smith there just this week! (I know, they went all over.)

Is it me? Or has Las Vegas suddenly become the new “in” place to go?

This reminds me of a book I read years ago by Michael Corbett called “Double Deal.”

Michael worked for the mob in Chicago with Johnny Roselli as his boss. In the book he explains his life in the Mafia. He talks about the teamsters, and the fact that Mayor Daley was the head of the mob in Chicago.

He also talks about the money the mobs made in Las Vegas and how it was built on the pensions of the Unions. He goes into great detail about Meyer Lansky and the mob connections in Panama, the Mafia working with the CIA… running drugs out of Vietnam, and with the Saudi’s Casinos.

Michael also claimed about how the mob always voted Democratic, always.

Its common knowledge that all unions vote democratic. Their members have no say in the matter. Funny, nobody ever claimed that people’s vote was disenfranchised in the unions…why is that?

Harry, the Senator from Nevada actually voted against NAFTA.

Maybe that’s why they keep some of those big Sopranos looking guys out there; to remind us all that Robert DeNiro really is an actor.

In the book it is explained that many times the Mafia worked with the CIA. In fact, he claimed that sometimes our military even protected the Mafia on drug runs.

He said that Daddy Bush, when head of the CIA, always helped them out.

But the mob was really angry when Jimmy Carter came in and took Panama. He also took the Shah of Iran down, and the mob was making some big bucks in the casino’s there.

Now, this is sort of strange because as everyone knows, Joe Kennedy, who made his money in bootlegging, got Daley to help to get his son, John Kennedy, elected. This story has been pretty much verified as known historical fact.

Lately we have heard that Marilyn Monroe yelled out her killer on the phone, and it was just assumed she was killed by the mob, who it would also be assumed, did it for the Kennedy’s.

So we know the Kennedy’s have always been connected. But no one talks about it.

And wasn’t it strange, liberal state or not, how a first lady could buy a house in New York, walk in, and with little public campaigning become Senator of New York?

Is it any wonder how corrupt our politicians are when they have had such a vast history of connections of working with and probably learning from, criminals?

And isn’t it funny how one day, the mob just seem to up and disappear?

Did Giuliani get them all?

I was just wondering, as you never hear much about them anymore. This nobody thinks they just all look like you and me now. Something tells me, like all the mergers of big multinational companies, the Mafia just merged with our government.

It just wasn’t announced on Bloomberg.

But, I bet Harry Reid knows.

Nobody’s Perfect; When I was in Las Vegas in September, I was just walking along a very wide corridor in the Mirage minding my own business, when a very HUGE guy, right out of the Soprano’s ran deliberately into me, practically knocking me down on my knees. This was a first for me and I just couldn’t believe that someone would do something so purposely… I said, “Hey...I’m walking here!”

Okay, so I wasn’t thinking. All I could think of was this guy either hated all woman since the stripper he once loved dumped him, or I will come down with a rare cancer because of something I wrote about Bill Clinton.

Nobody Knows; The Mafia made millions out of video poker machines in Chicago, and Zenith built the very first video poker machines. They always carried their case in suitcases. Now they have the Cayman Islands.

When you visited with the old guys you had to sit down and have a cup of coffee with them, it was a social thing with them.

Yes, nobody gives you tips on Mafia etiquette. Someday you might thank me.

Nobody Cares; Michael says in his book “There is a favorite with America’s corporate set; cover your ass and blame whatever went wrong on the other guy.” Yep, sounds like a typical democrat to me.

He also said he heard Jimmy Hoffa had been thrown in vat of zinc in a Detroit fender factory. He didn’t happen to say what zinc does to human flesh.

You’re right, who cares?

Thursday, November 02, 2006

The Art of Creeping

Nobody’s Opinion; Have you ever notice how sometimes it’s the little problems in life that keep creeping back time and again, until sooner or later the problem is so annoying you just can’t ignore it any longer?

For instance, old age creeps up on you. First, it’s the eyes. One day you wake up, and you don’t remember just when, (if you are under 40, be prepared) you can’t see the newsprint. You go out and get some cheap dollar magnifying glasses. You only wear them in the house of course, but then again…you live with it.

You also notice that you can no longer go out every night and dance for four hours straight on two hours of sleep. Where once you could drink 12 shots of tequila straight, now even one shot makes you dizzy. At one time you could run a mile, and now running around the block leaves you winded. Once, you never got sick, then all of a sudden, the usual winter flu is as predictable as the first snow. When we are young, we never gave those things a thought, until they’re gone.

And today, I finally felt it…a fact that I have been fighting, that I have been whole- heartily denying…America is dying. She’s having trouble getting out of bed.

She’s going to need a wheelchair soon.

Actually, it’s more like she’s been poisoned.

Oh, I know---I was as excited as everyone else about John Kerry’s big goof-up. Because let’s face it, the Republicans have been acting like idiots, with the spending, and the war, all the camera’s going up, and the gas prices. We are so happy that Kerry, the big idiot, just gave the final push for conservatives to go out and get their base back, to energize them and keep them in power.

Let’s hope they do, because the ruling Democrats are basically at this point, naked idiots. (They always have been elite socialist/fascists.)

But…it’s not that easy.

The President was a guest on Rush Limbaugh’s program today. And he said some things that to me were the proof that the old girl is doomed, unless we help her.

He started talking about how important Asia was to our economy. That we should realized that the millions of the new middle class population in China, and the millions of the new middle class population in India, would soon be able to buy products from America! This was the reason we need to keep on good terms with Asia. (They were talking about N. Korea)

So this is why we still have 30,000 troops STILL protecting South Korea. And this is why President Bush said that the American taxpayers will also protect Japan…so NIKE, Microsoft, General Electric, and Boeing can continue to do business? Why don’t they pay for their own troops to protect their companies? Why do we struggle so the big CEO’s can get on the Forbes 400 list? Ford has also moved to China.

And why don’t these countries who have made so much money off us, protect themselves?

Right. How many middle class Americans will be selling their “products” to China? We are supposed to be excited by this?

Jack Walsh (Former CEO of G.E.) Was on TV the other day talking about how wonderful Wal-Mart is for the country.

Well, I remember a time when even a middle class nobody like me could go to Lord and Taylor’s and buy a nice suit without having to worry about food the rest of the week.

Sure, you get to pick out cheap clothes made in China, but tell me, how long will they stay cheap?

Have you noticed how often all these Forbes 400 billionaires and heads of countries have been getting together? They know they are sucking up all the wealth.

They rationalize….they say…Okay, so, people will be making less and less. They know we can’t compete against third world labor, but so what? We all have our big screens by now.

They are moving all our jobs overseas.

The middle class is out. The “service” class is in. Service being a nice word for “poor.” But, they make the word “service” sound so exciting whenever they say it.

But hey! With enough products from China, they will make sure we can get cheap clothes and cheap food at Wal-mart!

And soon universal health-care! Anything to make them not feel guilty.

Last month, we bought a new suit for my husband, along with a tie and new shoes. It cost as much as our trip to Las Vegas.

NIKE shoes are made Asia. Shouldn’t they be cheaper? Don’t tell me, that America could not manufacture a good pair of tennis shoes for less than one hundred dollars. Yeah, they’re made in Japan, who, by the way has factories in South Korea because the labor is so cheap. Yet, we have been paying over one hundred dollars for them.

Not much made here is going to be sold in China and India. Do you think our President was speaking for the majority of the people? The products sold in China, will still be made in China, it’s just that some CEO here will make a lot of money off it.

The new CEO citizens of the world.

Today, I picked up an issue of the Forbes 400, the Richest People in America, Special Issue. Not too long ago, you had to be a millionaire. Now, it’s made up of all billionaires, the trillionaires are coming.

These 400 people have more wealth than the rest of the 300 million.

You don’t have to be a “soldier” to know that it’s these 400 people that President Bush and our Congress are working for. Not us.

If they were representing us, they would have fixed our schools and borders by now. They keep us busy thinking about gay marriage, sex scandals, and Madonna.

Once, our rich guys at least cared about us. J. Paul Getty decided to retire at 27. He goofed off for a year and got bored. He father told him that he had a responsibility to build factories and give jobs to people. Henry Ford once thought that way too.

No more. Now they build factories to employ the people in India and China, so those people can buy their products. And then instead of reinvesting their money here, or giving Americans a way to make a living, they donate billions to tax-exempt charities, which go mostly to other countries, in order for them to make more money.

You know the Microsoft plan---along with the vaccine is to put a computer in every African Village.

They won’t have clean water, but they will be able to report all medical conditions to a massive database. Bill Clinton will use our money to get them clean water.
“Manufacturing fortunes once dominated the Forbes 400. Today they represent just 5% of the list.” …FORBES Special Issue.

President Bush today on Rush Limbaugh also said people were hoarding their money, because we are afraid something is going to happen. He was upset about this.

Well gee, it just seems we can’t do anything right. If we drive up our credit cards, we are debtors, if we volunteer to serve in Iraq, we are stupid. If we stopped spending then the stock market goes down. This is bad for the guys on the Fortune 400 list stock dividends and the upcoming elections.

We need that “the economy is roaring” sound-bite.

And just to push the knife in a little further into my sadness at hearing that remark, he said that he was so happy to be President of a country with so many different cultures and so many different religions! Yes, we’re one happy multinational total FUBAR!

Whoopee! Where’s the Mosque? Where’s my Buddha! Ahhh George.

You were so convincing yesterday. (sigh)

Why should this upset me? Well, I heard the very same words spoken by the CEO of General Electric on Charley Rose not too long ago. This man was just like John Kerry…the middle classes had to change he said. We must accept our new life.

These elite people really do think we are stupid.

You see, it doesn’t matter if it’s the Democrats or the Republicans; they now work for the global multinational Forbes 400. What President Bush said today made it final for me. I guess he figured he was on such a roll; it was a good time to sneak the global stuff in.

They know the middle class in America will disappear. They don’t care. That includes John Kerry, Bill Clinton, and yes, even George Bush. (Well, it probably makes him sad.)

The biggest difference in the two parties, and the reason Democrats as we all know should not ever get power again is that President George Bush does care about protecting us more against the “nukes” they keep telling us that are coming.

As the President says, “We have to be right 100% of the time---they just have to be right once.”

Well, if that doesn’t make you want to go out and spend your paycheck, I don’t know what does.

We keep hearing what good friends Bill Clinton is with Daddy Bush. Even George’s sister was on TV saying “what good friends” they are. Okay, Okay, we get it.

And the next day Bill Clinton will say something so ugly against the President you just want to punch him. What’s wrong with this picture?

They both work for the muli-nationals, as Steve Farrell will show you…”The Third Way.”

It’s like two teenagers fighting over who’s going to get to drive daddy’s car.

Somewhere, long ago, our leaders lost their eyesight. They were blinded by greed. So they put this “third way” into gear with all the GATT and NAFTA treaties that were sold as being wonderful for us. They had to do it slowly. They knew we’d go ballistic.

The timing had to be just right.

Now, some people would say, (mostly the elites) that this new progressive, no borders, free trade, multinational world will be bring the whole world eventually up to a “middle class”….someday. The trouble is, we, the American people are meant to be the sacrificial lambs.

The problem is, we will have no say whatsoever in anything we do, no rights. And that’s a whole other blog,

Patrick J. Buchanan writes about this in his book, The Great Betrayal. How American Sovereignty and Social Justice Are Being Sacrificed to the Gods of the Global Economy.

Nobody’s Perfect; Well gee…I bet I got everyone down in the gutter with this.
Hey, I had to go shopping today… and it’s my least favorite thing in the world to do.
Besides, the more people that think about this, the better. Nothing gets fixed in ignorance.

Nobody Knows; On October 17, 2006, very quietly…our President, George W. Bush signed Public Law 109-364. This was passed along with the interrogation act.

This means that the President can bring in the Army, Navy, Air Force, or the National Guard into any state, overriding any governor, “to suppress public disorder.” He can use guns, or whatever, or give vaccines…he has full power. Basically Martial Law. The Posse Comitatus Act has ridden into the sunset.

I did not hear about this on Rush, on O’Reilly, on Hannity…anywhere.

On top of that, FEMA is meeting with pastors to discuss what to do if martial law is declared. Go ahead and ignore this if you want to, but sooner or later it will creep up on you.

Nobody Cares; I heard David Letterman say he was a “citizen of the world” the other night while talking to Bill O’Rielly. To me this was more upsetting than the fight between the two icons, because our media stars are already gearing us up for this One World Government.

That’s why the movie stars are adopting babies from Africa. That’s why Brad Pitt is building homes in India for Jimmy Carter. The trouble is…we are paying for it.

Nobody WinsWe must accelerate America’s entry into the Third Wave Information Age.” said Newt Gingrich.

Well, welcome to the world of the New World Order. The information being “We will tell you what to do.” And entertain you at the same time.

No wonder we are a nation of drugs. It just keeps creeping.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

The Mercurial Mumblings of Herman Munster

Nobody’s Opinion; One shouldn’t be surprised to see Herman Munster once again visiting us on Halloween this year. There he was, John Kerry, putting one toe in his mouth, than the other, and somehow managed as they say…to insert his whole foot.

You Know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.” he advised some students at a Pasadena City College speech on Monday.

Talk about condescending. The very rich Mr. Kerry thinks that all us nobody peons are stupid. But maybe if we work REAL hard, we won’t have to join the guard and get maimed and killed in Iraq.

Maybe some of us might be lucky enough to marry into a Fortune 500 Company.

The President took that bone and shook it for all it’s worth. God, it was so good to see George W. fired up in his speech in Georgia today. Today we saw a man really angered about someone “insulting” the troops. President Bush, (who had a suede looking beautiful green shirt on that I just wanted to reach out and touch) fired back, and said that the U.S. military were “plenty smart, and plenty brave, and the Senator from Massachusetts owes them an apology!”

You go Mr. President!

While I was watching this I was thinking…why in the world doesn’t he do this all the time? Get fired up I mean.

And Kerry could not see for the life of his omnipotent self see how he had insulted anyone. Instead of realizing that he was putting down just about everyone in the United States, as well as the soldiers in Iraq, all HE could think of is how everyone misunderstood him, and he was being attacked by right-wing nuts, and he is not going to take it anymore.

Good---he can leave.

John Kerry is the perfect example of why we need term limits.

John Kerry’s daddy served as a Foreign Service Officer during the Eisenhower administration. John Kerry himself has served on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee for nineteen years.

Since finding out about the secret deals on the NAFTA highway merging Mexico and the United States that was planned by the Foreign Relations Committee, anyone connected to these people tends to make you think, “There are no coincidences.”

One gets the feeling that somewhere back in his privileged youth John Kerry was told he could be Presidential material some day, so in order to prepare, he got himself a camera man, and went to Vietnam. He made sure he got himself lots of metals.

Most people know that if a man really did something heroic during a war, the last thing he would do would be brag about it. Like the many brave soldiers serving in Iraq, you won’t hear about them or their brave deeds on TV, unless they die.

John Kerry loves John Kerry---and probably his many mansions, and some of the house maids in them.

But here’s where this nobody gets confused.

Kerry and all the democrats truly believe we should get out of Iraq and soon, and yet---Kerry believes we should expand the guard and reserves by tens of thousands. Like Bill Clinton, who spread the troops all over the world in peacekeeping missions, John Kerry, had he become President, would have done the same. After being attacked, we would have gone on a peace-keeping mission of some kind.

On the other hand, the Republicans, who are critized heavily for being war hungry, have tried to fight the war with as little men as possible. And yet, they believe the war on terror is just the beginning of a war that will last our lifetimes.

The war in Iraq, after the initial takeover, has been fought very gently, almost in a politically correct way. This has made it hard for the troops and the American people to understand. We are not used to fighting a war with the approval of the rest of the world.

The truth is, because so many countries are now lining up against us, and so much of our economy (and debt) is tied up with China, and the Saudi’s…we really don’t have a choice.

We are not the country we once were, thanks to past politicians selling out our manufacturing base. While we hear every day how wonderful the stock market is we all know that unless you have big money in stocks, it means little.

According to TIME magazines last week, more than half of the people in America make less than $30,000. Something tells me that “Dow Jones” to a lot of people could just as well be the local Powerball lottery ticket that they never seem to win.

So in a way, Kerry was right. He knows the big gap between the rich and the poor, and unless you get a college education, you really don’t have much choice to be anything but lower middle class in America. It’s a dirty secret neither party wants you to know.

But it has nothing to do with the soldiers now in Iraq.
The trouble is, he had no idea (and he should have) how his remarks would be taken as an insult to our servicemen, and all Americans who just happen to NOT have college educations like the lucky Mr. Kerry.

And his “spin” was even worse. It was not a “joke” and we all know he wasn’t talking about President Bush, but of course, he thinks we’re stupid.

The problem with John Kerry is that he has the personality of a dull doorknob. It doesn’t matter how many bikes he rides, after today, there is no doubt that if you ring the doorbell of John Kerry, Herman Munster will answer.

If Karl Rove was smart, he’d take this can and kick it to the goal post on Election Day.

Nobody’s Perfect; John Kerry’s political timing today was so bad today that I bet even Hillary Clinton is celebrating tonight somewhere in Georgetown.

Nobody Knows; John Kerry, I read, actually doesn’t like Ketchup.

He would have hated my father who, much to my mother’s embarrassment, whenever we were in fine restuarnnast would completely dose the finest prime beef strip steak with a double top layer of Ketchup. I used to love it, because for five minutes, every snob in the place would stare at him.

My father, who was raised in the St. Louis equivalent of the Bowery, could have cared less; it was always a real Rodney Dangerfield moment.

Nobody knows why the rich have this thing about ketchup; it’s only for the poor and uneducated. They have no idea what they are missing. (Or maybe he knows what’s really in it? mmmm)

Nobody Cares; How can Massachusetts, a state that started out with such promise in the beginning of our country, have ended up producing such fools?

Nobody's Absurdities, No. 24-Nobody Reasons To Be Scared

Nobody’s Opinion; Since its Halloween, I thought it was the perfect time to come up with the scariest things I could think of that would scare myself. And what a perfect time to use up my 24 reasons to be absurd.

So here, in random scariness---are my nightmares. I’m sure you have your own.

Please, keep them to yourself.

Let’s do the big “Holy-moly it’s really gonna happen!” first. The real Armageddon. Oh, I know---our politicians have not actually pointed out the fact that Russia is lining up with Iran and China, and Israel and the United States are already having tee-shirts printed with Magog, and GOG: The War-Game of History to be sold at all Wal-Marts soon. But it’s so obvious to the rest of us, ITS DRIVING US CRAZY! I’d rather face Freddie! It seems to this nobody we have enough anti-Christs already to kick start the whole thing. The thought of it all coming to fruition in my time, is almost so frightening, I won’t even think about it. I’m going to eat all the bubble-gum before the kids get here, they don’t need all that sugar.

Bill Clinton would run as Hillary’s running mate in 2008, just to piss everyone in the Rublican party off. Then, after she’s “elected,” she would have to appoint someone else in the position, and Bill would resign for “health” reasons and become Secretary of State. After all, anyone who would be Hillary’s running mate would have too much temptation to take over, probably by feeding her a poisoned cookie---Which is exactly what he probably plans to do.

All Americans, due to China’s rising middle class, will be given “gas rationing tickets” which would tell them how many miles they could drive, and just where they could drive to. (All cars will have a satellite tag to monitor so you couldn’t cheat.) If you put more “pollution” in the air than you’re allotted amount, you would be sent a heavy fine. They could call it the “ghoul” tax. All people would be subject to this tax but illegal immigrants, who, because they are not citizens wouldn’t have to worry about it.

Due to the fact that Bill Clinton has shown a proclivity for wanting to save the whole world by mandating what we eat and drink, soon all fast food will be changed to veggie burgers, and milkshakes will be “protein drinks.” Any American citizen over 200 pounds will be taxed for consuming food that could go to his poverty foundations.

Kim Jong il will finally get a nuke to hit Alaska, therefore saving the Congress from every having to turn down drilling for oil ever again.

Islam will become popular in all fifty states, and all woman will be forced to dress like Muslim woman in order to show respect for the religion. Along with this, all citizens will have to listen to some obnoxious horn that calls for them to pray. The result of this is that pornography will become the biggest industry exported and imported in the United States. (What…it already is?)

Half of the cable channels will very soon be in Spanish. Half of all road signs will be in Spanish. Half of all commercials will be in Spanish. All English speaking people will have to learn to order McDonalds in Spanish. I will say, “Biga Maca, no Cheesio” and I will get the salad with apples. The guy taking the order will say “I can’t understand you, speak Spanish!”

My son won’t have my grandchilden until he’s in his fifties, and by that time, I won’t hear them coming when they decide to run me off the sidewalk with their new battery-driven play hummers equipped with cell phones.

Soccer will become America’s favorite sport. Baseball, hockey, and football will only be played at nursing homes by x-sport hero’s with alzheimers, who will argue over the rules that have been forgotten. Chinese men/nurses will referee the games.

Within the year, the internet will be completely taken over by the government in order to “regulate” it. We will have to pay money for every site we visit, and fifty cents for every e-mail. Blogging will be considered spam, and fined. But cell-phones will still be updated so small that they will fit on your finger, and everyone will go around with their finger in their mouth. Bill Gates will still look sixteen in 2080, and will still be trying to cure disease.

Just about the time I get to remodeling my kitchen…sometime in 2030, a tornado will completely destroy the house.

They will rebuild New Orleans, and it will get hit by another storm bigger than Katrina. All the Hispanics will be bused to St. Louis, we will become the most dangerous city in the world.

Everyone will have to get a flu shot, and at exactly 65, half of the population will come down with some mysteries flu that will kill them off in two days. They will call it, “The Asian Flu.”

Marijuana will be legalized, and half of the x-generation will become so obese, they will not be allowed to drive. But they won’t care, because most of them will be supported by the government anyway.

Bill Clinton will become World Leader, and Al Gore will be his World Leader Vice President. A cloned Buddy will live in the new Red House.

Since our schools are failing so badly, soon only “affirmative action” programs will allow only special students chosen by lesbians to attend. The rest will be sent to some kind of school to get them ready for “service” jobs. Anyone that is found out to be exceptionally smart will be expelled.

Jeb Bush will become President in 2016, after eight years of Hillary, and John McCain will be Vice President. The first address will be given in Spanish, and every citizen over sixteen will have to do four years in the military. Jimmy Carter’s son will be made Secretary of Defense, which means all “citizens” too old for the military, will go to Iran to built houses in honor of his dad.

There is a HUGE airport runway that has been built by my house, it cost millions. And since American Airlines left, we only have two planes leaving a day. Nevertheless, they keep building on it. I have surmised that this is the great NAFTA superhighway runway: a landing port for huge cargo planes filled with Chinese’s goods, and Chinese military to go along with the NAFTA highway port in Kansas City. They just haven’t told us yet.

Tony Blair and George W. Bush will be prosecuted for war crimes against humanity, after the Democrats first impeach the President of course. Secretly though, they will go to underground bunkers, where they have exact replica’s of George W’s ranch and Tony’s island. (I have no idea is Tony has an island, but most of those Brits love the sun.)

Al Gore will become some kind of Pollution King to all nations, and every single thing, including the ads you receive in the mail, will be taxed for “global development.” Al will know if you’ve cheated because all trash cans and trash will be monitored with chips.

Dogs will be outlawed because they offend too many religions. It will become legal to eat them. Cats will be allowed though, but most people won’t be able to afford them. Rats will be the new “in” pet, encouraged by Rap artists as just the pet to get, so most kids will get rats for their birthdays. One in a while, a plague virus will be released, but many will die from overexposure to rap first.

Gloria Steinem will start an old lady porn magazine. Hugh Hefner will be in the centerfold.

Las Vegas will be destroyed by Al Quada, and Dubai will become the new Las Vegas, which seems to be the plan.

And last but also very scary, our current corrupt system of wealthy rich multinationals (corporations and politicians) continue to ruin our lives and destroy America, because they control everything. And our open borders will be our doom…the Vampires are out to get us, and our blood is getting cold.

Nobody’s Perfect; Well, heck; you didn’t want me to end on a good note did you? It’s Halloween! Don’t think about any of this, go out and really scare someone!

Nobody Knows; Just how really frightening it must be to be Mrs. Jimmy Carter and have to wake up to that puss every morning.

Nobody cares; I happened to think that Halloween was ruined years ago when that story about the kid getting poison in his candy scared every mother in the nation. Since that time, a systematic shutdown of kids going out to have fun has been in order, with the “happenings” in the malls and civic centers. So, this nobody thinks it was a planted story to scare everyone into getting off the streets on Halloween because the government did not want to police the people and kids.

This action has actually benefited many pockets of businessmen, because now people go crazy buying loads of lighted decorations to put up outside all over their houses---just begging for the little ones to come back. Halloween has become another full fledged Wal-Mart China explosion of junk to decorate you holiday up until Christmas.

It has been really sad around my neighborhood. Before that “event” I use to get over thirty kids, and every year, less and less. Last year, I counted…two.

I might just get ONE kid this year, but that kid is going to be scared… I need to do my part to prepare them for their real life scary future ahead.

Sunday, October 29, 2006


Nobody’s Opinion; Okay, I’m gloating. World Series Championships only come to a town maybe once in a life time and St. Louis is second only to the Yankees in World Series appearances. Right now, as I write this some 30 miles outside of town, 500,000 very happy, goofy people dressed in red are downtown St. Louis cheering the team…a team that in the last stretch leading up to the play offs, lost nine of their twelve last games.

Because of some real suspicious looking throws to third by the Detroit pitchers, and the fact that the Detroit team had a lot of time off before the last games, the Cardinals and their fans (after waiting twenty years for a World Series win) got their cup of joy and happiness. A couple of years ago, they lost the World Series to Boston. But now, finally can say they are the World Champions.

And the World Series could not have come to two cities in the Midwest who needed the revenue more; Detroit and St. Louis: cities of layoffs and middle class destruction.

Baseball like many other things in America is a dying sport. Oh, you can’t tell it from listening to anyone in the media. But the attendance during the season at most of the parks is way down and they hide that fact. They try real hard not to take camera shots of all the empty seats. Like the economy, they twist the stats, but baseball has been dying for quite some time, ever since the strike in 1994.

This year set a record as being the lowest watched World Series in history.

More people attend NASCAR races than baseball.

Go past any ballpark in your local neighborhood, and the fields are empty. The kids are all playing video games. Where once the neighborhood kids would spend all Saturday and Sunday getting games together with their friends for fun and refreshing the major leagues with homespun boys, now, the lineups are filled with Hispanics, who are out playing baseball games because they can’t afford video games.

And it’s sad, because baseball used to be a real family affair. But, as we all know, there are more single families now than married couples. Fewer dads around to keep up the spirit. And sorry girls, playing catch with mom is just not the same.

But…Oh the memories it brings! I remember watching a pitcher named John Tutor pitch a near perfect game in a playoff game once. It was like the whole stadium was on some sort of LSD, no one could believe how the ball seemed to just float, and then almost stop in mid-air, before every single guy struck out. It was a human feat that we all knew would only happen once in our lifetimes. Later, Whitey Herzog wrote about that very same game in his memoirs called “The White Rat.”

Even the second baseman was looking at the pitcher with awe.
And admit it…when a game is close…it’s just the most exciting thing, you just feel like dancing, laughing, and all your troubles just drift away. AND you get to share these bubbles of life with all those around you, even strangers! Sports draw people into a wonderful euphoric state of bliss, not to be experienced any where else.

If only the jihads played baseball.

My mother was the one responsible for me getting hooked on baseball. I had been recently divorced and wanted to meet men. She suggested I go to ball games. So, I’d put on my short-shorts and went, hoping…maybe…someone would ask me out.

No, I never got a date…the closest I got was guys coming over and saying things like “How old are you REALLY?” To which I’d always answer, “Sixty-One.”

Still, I did get a real love for baseball. I got hooked, and if you look at any fan of any sport, you wonder---just what is it about people watching their local sports teams that gets them emotionally so charged that some of them would give their least favorite child for tickets to the World Series? Look at the camera shots of people praying in the playoffs, as if their whole life and happiness depends on the strikeout of the other team’s slugger. Sometimes, there are actual tears at a loss.

Is this a genetic proclivity left over from the Roman gladiator days?

Why do people who can’t afford it, pay outlandish prices for tickets? The prices here have gone up so much, many of the poor have to take out loans just to sit in the bleachers.

I have a simple theory…hope. Life is not easy. Like baseball, much of the time you are either striking out, or never getting home. The other guy is always hitting home runs it seems. But you go to a game, and your team wins, and somehow, all is right with the world. You start to believe luck might shine on you one day, if you just keep batting.

I’ve only been to one World Series Game--- it was in 1985. The Cardinals were playing Kansas City. I did not have a ticket, and I had been walking around the stadium here for about 3 hours looking for a scalper ticket that I could afford. My feet were tired. I was tired. I sat down on the curb and decided to give up.

I looked up at the sky and said, “Okay God, you’ve got exactly five minutes to get me a ticket because if YOU don’t, I’m going home.” (I really did say that.)

I was rubbing my feet when this nice man came over and said, “Do you have a ticket to the game? Our buddy is not going to make it and we have an extra ticket.”

So, God came through. I not only met three of the nicest gentlemen around, but I got to sit in the 11th row behind the dugout on the third base side, something every baseball fan would die for. The picture you see above was taken in 1987, that’s me in the middle. (Remember, big hair was in.) We lost that game big time, and the series, but it didn’t matter. Just to get to the World Series is a big thing for any fan.

St. Louis is one of the last die-hard baseball cities. Why? Because besides taking in a movie, there really is not much else to do here. We are one of the last of the truly American cities to go down with a fight. We do love our baseball, our beer, and our Clydesdales, our Mike Shannon (sportscaster) and we are truly the best fans any team has ever had…why? Because the fans here will applaud any player that gives a fine performance, even if he is on the opposing team, and even if we are losing.

That’s real class.

And even if you don’t see that in real life much anymore, you will see that here. So…this Buds for You St. Louis…and to all baseball fans everywhere.

And to Doug Powers and the Rogue Jew, two fine representations of REAL American men here on MND….better luck next time…are you wearing red today?

Nobody’s Perfect; Kenny Rogers, the Detroit pitcher in game 2, had some “tar” on his palm, thereby cheating. To the Cardinal’s coach’s ( Tony La Russo) credit, he let it go. Even though it was cheating, by letting the game go on, it was the psychologically right thing to do. In other words…Hey, we can beat you even if you cheat!

Nobody Knows: The fans here in St. Louis have had a hard time excepting the quiet coach Tony La Russo. He lives in California, drinks wine, not beer, and has put his life into working to save animals. But this year, he quietly showed everyone that sooner or later the good guys win. Tony is the dream coach. He used a rookie pitcher to close the last game, when he could have easily lost the series. Tony has a gift of believing in the ordinary man, and gets them to do remarkable things.

Don’t you wish we had more politicians like that?

Nobody Cares; Now, here’s a juicy baseball story.

One time, after a late game, I was so afraid to walk to my car alone that I went across the street to the Hotel bar. It’s was after midnight, and one of the radio announcers from the San Diego team was at the bar, and I told him about my problem, So, he offered to walk me to my car, and I thought to myself…well, he’s very well known right? I SHOULD be able to trust him. Besides, I really thought the next’s day’s paper would say “GIRL SHOT AND KILLED --FOUND ON PARKING LOT AFTER GAME.” Sometimes, you just know it, always trust your gut.

So, this famous man (in San Diego) walks me to my car and I drove him back to the bar, dropped him off, parked the car in a safe place, and went in to have a nightcap because I was so thankful to the man for being such a gentleman to me and for being alive. (And I told him so.)

As I walked into the bar, all the players smiled and laughed at my entrance…and I said to him “What’s their problem.”
He said, “I told them you gave me a blow job.” And I said “You’ve got to be kidding?”

“He said no, he was serious.”

“But, that’s really mean, how could you lie?” Yeah, I admit it, I was in shock. Not only that he lied, but that he could have cared less how he made me look.

“How could I not? I have to keep up my reputation.”

Of course I left, actually feeling sorry for this guy who had a great job, respect, but had to lie about being able to score.

Lessons for all you dads to tell your daughter…remember, it’s what you don’t tell her that will get her in trouble. That’s one thing my dad never told me, and my mother did not even know to tell me. Make them street wise for their own sake.