Saturday, January 17, 2009

Stop! In the Name of Love!

Nobody's Fool: This likeness of Obama was made by the soldiers in Iraq of Barak Obama..out of butter.

Those guys are talented! One day, they are capturing hard core Iraq's, the next day, they are sculpting butter!

So...Why is Barack holding his hand up in such a manner?

Is he waving to the millions off the back of his love train?

Or, could it be he is saluting in the normal manner of a certain man who wanted to take over the world, and that was BEFORE he met a nice German barmaid?

Or, do you hear what I hear?

"Stop! In the name of Love! Before you break my heart...

STOP! In the name of Love! Before you break my heart.

Think it Think it O000. over."

Hey, I thought the whole Amtrak train into Washington was pretty lame too. One more picture of Joe Biden smiling off the caboose, was one picture too many for me.

I've never been on a train ride, but that memory of smiling Joe is not exactly making me want to get one anytime soon.


Thursday, January 15, 2009

Nobody Wins: Bush's Last Goodbye

Nobody Wins: As I was listening to President Bush's farewell speech to the nation tonight, I couldn't help thinking that it was simply the saddest speech I had ever witnessed, because the man is sad, I mean that...he's been depressed and practically unable to lead anything since 9/11.

That's just my Nobody's Opinion.

All those famous bloopers that he made every single day, were not all from his 'low' IQ and inability to speak clearly, as all liberals would want you to believe, but from, I believe, a devastating depression. And if my guess is right, and that's true, he has probably been on some anti-depression medication like Zoloft for quite some time.

How would I know? I actually was put on the stuff once for two days. It numbs your mind, so that you can't think at all. So, you don't feel depressed, but you're also in slow motion, and literally lose the ability to form relevant thoughts. How many times have we seen President Bush be completely out-to-lunch?

Too many times to count.

To me, that would explain why he sat in front of that grade school class with that dumb look on his face for so long on 9/11, upon hearing the news of our attacks. He actually wasn't thinking much of anything, because you see, those medications affect your frontal cortex, where all analytical thinking is done. It slows down everything...almost time itself. It took a while for George to register the information he just jump-starting a battery.

Add the fact that there is strong evidence that he and Laura's marriage has been out-the-door for quite a while now. I wouldn't doubt if she is already in another happy relationship. He has been mentioning Laura much too much, as if HE knows that OTHERS suspect their marriage is gone. So he must keep the history clean. "I'm not looking forward to her cooking." (Hee-hee)

Really, what a stupid statement. That's a statement from a man who doesn't live with his wife. Some men actually do fall apart when they lose their mate, and I think President Bush is one of them.

Now, there are great men that have suffered from severe depressions and still go on to rule with clarity..Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, both John Adams and his son JQA.

Oppenheimer suffered from it, but it didn't stop him from working.

But that was before they had Prozac, and Zoloft. Even though these men suffered greatly from clinical depressions (Churchill called it his black dogs) they also were not drugged with these advanced medications, (because they were not on the market yet) and they also had great support systems in their wives. (Okay, Lincoln's wife also suffered from them, but he had he cabinet of buddies.)

They also didn't have CNN, FOX, and billions of Muslims wanting to kill them, and their families. They didn't have the worry of nuclear bombs wiping out the whole country. They didn't have to listen to the opposition political party side with the enemy, every hour of every minute of every day.

Daddy Bush didn't have 150 channels of vicious Democrats. Forget talk radio, that's nothing compared to the vast liberal attack machines that are in place now.

And something tells me that President Bush, outside his family, doesn't have many friends.

Historians keep these facts very quiet, because depressions are considered a form of mental illness, and nothing is worse than thinking that your leader isn't quite up to par, especially in wartime. Look how they covered up FDR's being a cripple, and JFK being on drugs?

And while so many have spent their lives vilifying Dick Cheney as Darth Vader, we may never know just how much Dick took up the slack. If he was the real ruler behind President Bush, as all the liberals claim he was, then maybe, we should all be thankful Dick had "our" backs, so to speak. That would certainly explain what has happened in so many cases. Bob Woodruff=ruff should maybe think about this.

Yes, the speech tonight was almost surreal. I thought it was really funny when he said that the people "choose" the next President. In this, we are an example to the rest of the world.

Come on. The American people have no choice at all in whose running, that's determined by who's got the most money, and the powerful moneyed lobbyists that give that money.

In Obama's case the big money came from the man who gets a kick out of destroying countries...George Soros, with millions of contributions from foreign countries.

John McCain, to anyone watching, was hand-picked to lose. It was all one big television entertaining scam, to make us think that WE picked the first Black President, who, once in power, picked his hated rivals to run the whole government.

So we are giving choices that most of us don't want. Both the Clinton's and the Bushes have done nothing but represent, not only foreign countries, but their own families and fortunes and friends. And now, we have a Congress of mostly criminals, who live above the law, as do all our Presidents.

Tonight he spoke of how wonderful the American people are: How we can stand up under any hardship...boy, they are really testing us now.

One thing was clear, I don't think that sadness we've been witnessing for so many years is just the breakup of his can see it in his eyes.

And on that point, I WILL reserve my opinions, because I don't want to get too depressed right now. I threw my Zoloft down the toilet many, many moons ago.

Too bad President Bush didn't do the same.

NOTE: Of course I have no idea if President Bush is on some kind of medication...I just can't think of any other reason how one man could be so....out-of-touch. We still have our minds, thank goodness to speculate all options...for now, as well we should.

It's only smart to consider, what they are planning for us...and so far, it's not been good at all.


Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Nobody Cares Now If You Show and Tell

Nobody Cares; Today, as you can see from these fine navy pilots here---it was announced that Obama has said that he wants all gays in the military to come out of the closet and make it well known that they are gay, and open for suggestions...and at least with them, sex will not produce a transfer...

The new motto: Show and Tell

Since this was taken last year, I'd say, not many anywhere in the military are surprised.... however, they will not be allowed to use bubble bath anymore when at sea, due to the new global warming rules put out by Obama's new global warming czarcina. (Who, can also come out now and admit SHE is gay.)


Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Nobody Knows How "24" Goes!

Nobody Knows: I just got finished watching the ever popular television program “24” and I thought I’d do one of MY exciting nobody days in the Jack Bauer mode…so…

Beep-beep, beep-beep, beep-beep, beep-beep…

These events took place between:

9am and 12am: Dog woke JA (that’s me) up at 9am with a wet tongue in ear…heroine looks at the clock. Remembers that she went to sleep at exactly 4:30am, so she turns over and tries to go back to sleep. Lump in mattress is sheer torture! That’s illegal!

That will not happen again on MY watch!

9.15am: Gets up and lets the dogs out. Zippy, a three-year-old American Eskimo, pees at the top of the stairs, and turns and smiles! Typical morning….heroine takes action and throws an old rag on it. (Whew, that was close!)

9:17am: Pours a bowl of the last remains of a Rice Krispee box, which has been on top of the fridge for at least three months. Eats, and gives other dog, KoKo, an American Eskimo/Pomeranian, the bowl to lick. Gives parakeet’s seed and water and talks to all six of them, telling them to forget their clandestine plans to take over the kitchen. There is bird seed all over the floor. (Stay focused, take care of that later)

9:20am: Puts bowl in sink, gets three rounds of bullets to load her gun (Okay…it’s a Fish Oil pill and a B-12 pill, to take with my orange juice, but bullets sounds more exciting.)

9:35am: Goes back to bed, to look over the plans for the upcoming raid on the hospital. (Actually, it’s my reading hour because that’s how long it takes for my energy pills to kick in.)

9:40am: Reads in Readers Digest that there in danger! Many people are being killed by “debris” falling off of cars, and trucks. The director of The China Syndrome was not killed by Jane Fonda, but by a steel rod that had fallen off a truck somewhere in the Eastern Seaboard, and struck him right in the forehead, killing him instantly. Al Gore gets away! JA (heroine) decides to use this argument to try to break her husband’s habit of following two feet behind Mac Trucks on the highway. She also learns that deer are making a big comeback in Texas and wonders why the illegals aren’t eating them?

10:00am: In her “war” briefings (For Whom the Bell Tolls) it seems the men are not the least bit concerned about becoming communists in order to defeat the fascists in Spain. Blowing up a bridge in broad daylight is not going to be easy, not to mention, every one that does it will surely die, including the brand new babe that likes to crawl under Hemmingway’s (I mean, our soldiers’) blanket, but somebody has to do it!

Blow up the bridge that is.

10:15am: JA gets her Moscow briefing…the Russians have a laser that can destroy every US satellite making the US venerable to nuclear attack. She puts agent Tom Clancy on the case under the name Jack Ryan, and dispatches him to the Kremlin to save the Cardinal. “Get back to me Jack.” JA tells him.
Don’t worry, he’s mine.” Jack is a smart aleck, and so he WILL get the job done, because everyone loves a smart aleck, unless of course you're name is Ann Coulter and you ARE smart.

10:30am: Something tells her to turn on the news, and good thing too. The world is in great danger as Hillary Clinton is being questioned by the Senate, and it is revealed that the billions of taxpayers dollars that went missing, will be used by Hillary Clinton in order to save the world, build Africa’s infrastructure, so that they can have water, food, schools, teachers, and brand new computers. To do this of course, she will need two top men to help her (in other words, actually do HER job because she will be too busy gathering funds for her husband Bill Clinton.) She also wants to stop women and children all over the world from getting acid thrown in their face. (Which means Bill has a concern) Not much is said about Israel, but when asked if Bill’s vast amounts of “raising” money would be used by nations to bribe Hillary, she states: “It will not be in the atmosphere.” Which In Clinton’s lawyer-like secret code means …it will be buried deep in our bank vault account in the Caymans Islands.

11:00am: Update: The Plaza Hotel has been taking over by a Jewish Billionaire named Isaac Tshuva, who built condominiums and sold them for around $53 million, with the promise that when finished they would look “just like the picture.” One Russian wife was so appalled at the finished, she exclaimed, “This is too small!” and on that note, she was locked in the closet. Union employees were going to be replaced, and so they took the fight to Israel, and Bruce Springsteen, and jobs were saved. Eloise was taken away to a secure location.

12:00pm: Knowing that time is running out, JA, realizes she must go to the hospital, not because she wants to, but because no one will return her calls. She has called the number on all her bills at least ten times, but no one returns her calls. Well, no one is going to rip off this nobody! She decides, she will put on her best red lipstick, with just the right hint of light bronze in the middle of the bottom lip, and plans her attack on that very handsome President who gave her his card one day in the lobby, and said, “Call me if you ever have a problem.”

12:15 pm. JA gets out of the car. She walks into the lobby and goes to the information station.

So, who’s the top guy at this place?”

“I don’t really know!” say all three women behind the desk. “Whoever they are, they’re not here.”

“Well, no one will return my phone calls.”

Oh my, follow me. By the way, I like you’re whole look.” says the information girl.

JA has put on a black coat, with a black fur hat…yes, she has that “I’ve got money and don’t mess with me look.” She is pleased that her disguise worked.

12: 35pm: In the main office, no one is there. Down the hall she sees a bunch of women having lunch.

: A lady named Kathy takes her into a secret room. JA tells her the problem. She has been overcharged. No one returns her calls. “I’ll get help” she tells JA…”Stay right here”

12:55: JA, sits at a big table for eight people, and gets bored…goes through her coupon book and throws away most of her book, but finds a good one for Rice Krispies (A HIT!) --- this takes about 15 minutes.

1:21pm: Finally gets up. Goes outside the room and yells: “Hey, what’s goin on here! I’ve been waiting over 30 minutes!”

1:25pm: Kathy walks in room “I called someone to come, but they are in a meeting!”

Okay, I’ll go to lunch and come back. Don’t you have an office here where they take care of the bills?”

“Well, no.”
2:00pm: beep-beep, beep- beep, beep-beep, beep-beep


JA has trouble in the lunchroom---they are trying to kill her with the green beans. She calls her husband. “They have me cornered, I was almost poisoned by a three-day old piece of chicken breast, but, I’m okay. I’m not leaving without a fight!”

2:30pm: JA goes back to the office. Kathy calls someone and begs them to come help the lady who has been waiting for over two hours to see someone.

She hangs up the phone: “They are at another location. They will have to drive here, I’m not sure how long that will take. ”

With unbelievably fast movement… JA uses her stealth maneuver…she goes uninvited into the “assistants” office and stands over her desk with an intimidating look. The assistant gets scared.

“How much longer is this going to take again?” She says.

3:04pm: It works! The assistant makes another phone call… a black man comes within two minutes; a black man who was in the building all along!

He is a very high official says Kathy.

3:25pm: They go into the interrogation room…JA pulls out all the evidence, and PROVES that someone in the hospital has been conspiring to steal $275.53 cents from her. The man makes a phone call, says it was an “error.” The reason for no one answering her phone calls, he says was because “all the employees had “mandatory” leave.”

He smiles a lot. But doesn’t say he’s sorry.

JA decides not to pursue this line of questioning any longer. Who knows how many patients were killed due to mandatory vacations? This information might get her killed, or even worse, she might get tied up and sent to a room on the sixth floor.

4:00pm. JA finally leaves the hospital, and goes to Target to pick up cheap dog food. She looks at the sonic toothbrushes and decides that she will get Chloe to find her a cheaper one the internet. After all, there might be important state secrets secretly planted in that aching gum in her back molars…they left a big gap. Must be careful…stay focused.

4:34 pm. Drives to Shop and Save: more shopping. She demands the winning Powerball ticket from the cashier.

4:40:pm: Back at the UNIT, she stresses out, puts up groceries and goes to lie down, turns on the news, and gets call from husband, who is coming home.

5:00pm Talks to husband filling him in on all the action and brags about her razor sharp responses in her battle with the enemy the hospital, bringing her another victory.

JA also says “Hi” to the NSA, who listens to her phone conversations, in order to find out her plans to talk, write, and attack all enemies against the United States. She talks in code again, to lead them on a wild goose chase.

“So, are you hungry?”

NSA Agent, “She just asked him if he was hungry…what’s that mean?”

6:00pm: Husband turns on TV, watches the first two hours of “24” where the woman President can’t figure out who she must save in a terrorist threat: The American people, or the African People. It the hardest decision that she will ever make, so she calls Hillary Clinton who tells her to save Africa, because why else would we be introducing the whole subject of saving Africa to a very conservative Jack Bauer if we weren’t thinking of doing exactly that?!

8:00pm: Grilled cheese for dinner…JA wants to sweep up bird seed, but husband has headache, so she doesn’t. Husband goes to bed.

9:00pm: JA checks out e-mails, reads the headlines, which includes headlines of Ann Coulter being vilified on the VIEW, for wanting children to have fathers.

10:00pm: JA decides she must save Ann from alleviation--Ann after all, is on the job. A great American, JA will go undercover tomorrow, the fight for America is never ending It has been reported that the enemy and corruption go up to the highest levels. In fact, it now IS the highest levels.

12:00am: She takes off her spy-watch. (Okay, I don’t have a spy watch.) Tomorrow will be another exciting day filled with the many adventures of living each day as if it was her last.

Because, with Hillary and Obama, America is in the greatest danger she has ever been.

JA takes her bullets…I mean pills…melatonin. Staying up late tonight is NOT an option, because tomorrow, she will need to protect the yard from explosive gumballs.

Beep, beep…beep, beep, beep-beep, beep-beep...


Monday, January 12, 2009

Nobody's Perfect: The Diva's

Nobody's Perfect; If you watched the Golden Globes last night, as I did, just because I was in the mood to watch the rich...then like me you might remember a few Diva "opps" moments.

The biggest goof came when Kate Winslet was up thanking all her friends for her most joyous award of being best actress in all situations, including her acceptance speech...

And while she was at it, she forgot one woman's name that she beat...what was her name? Oh...somebody tell me what her name know...there she is...

Oh yes, Angelina Jolie!


Now, as ALL women know, these woman are in a vicious war of "Who is the most beautiful tonight?" and having said that...let's look at Jennifer Lopez's face. Forget the fact that she is wearing the curtain that hung in Tara in "Gone With the Wind" ...check out that look...ohhhhh.....

And ALSO today, we had a really funny "not so perfect" Miley Cyrus tell the world that she cut her "uvala" which she is hoping the millions of men in the world will think of a mispronunciation for something much more exciting.

Yes...she had to go and explain on her website that her "uvala" was in her "mouth" and she "cut" it on a piece of "chicken" and that's why she couldn't talk, and it's all just really hard becoming a sex object when your fans want you to remain in childhood with Mickey. Thinking up creative ways to turn on the guys is not easy...Right Dad?

Never mind.

And last but not least in the Diva "Nobody's Perfect" category, front and center we have Demi Moore, who in front of billions of people world wide, CORRECTED her daughter (the lovely woman standing next to Scarlett Lopez) and told her to stand up straight, or something to that affect, as she walked passed her to the podium showing her daughter how SHE can do it right.

Her daughter should pay attention.

I would say, in the moment of mean, vicious, selfish, and downright horrible things ever done by a mother in the whole world, that was one of them.

How in the world could you embarrass your own daughter in front of the whole world?

For Demi was easy.

No wonder Bruce Willis hangs around...


Sunday, January 11, 2009

Nobody Has No Opinions Today

Nobody's Opinion: I have no opinions today. (Well, not really.)
Okay, I'm getting burnt out on all this "Presidents are the Gods of the Universe "crap.
Not only are we going to be bombarded for almost two weeks with Obama's crowning and glorification...and the obsessive reincarnation of him as Lincoln, but we will also have to listen to President Bush rewritting his own history, as he did on Fox tonight.
Yes, the first Daddy President and his Presidential son interview was given tonight, and what a fluff piece it was. One thing for sure, they made it clear that they certainly were not going to be bothered by any historical accounts of themselves, because they will be DEAD when the truth comes out!
Good for them! I'm happy for them!
I suggest we all leave on vacation! Wait...we have no money for a vacation...Susie Orman wants us all to promise to not even eat at a restaurant for a whole month!
Evidently, she doen't buy her own food.
Forget her.
So...let's all just sit back and enjoy...watching the movie stars give themselves awards.
That's always a good time.