Friday, December 21, 2007

Buy Glenn Some Bling!

Nobody Flashes Anymore: Mr. Glenn "Women expect bling for Christmas and it's NOT fair" Sachs was on Fox today, moaning about the fact that every women expects big and expensive presents on holidays...and men get the shaft.

Well, here a lovely bling for both sexes.

A Diamond-studded blue-tooth.

Now, I just know how good this would look on Glenn...and I suggest some rich women out there who thinks he is just the best thing since the invention of spellcheck, to send him one of these things.

And Glenn is right...I'd ask for one myself, but my dog would just eat it. So far, she has already mangled five.

Anyway, I'm sure Paris Hilton has at least ten of these sweet little bling pieces, and sports players will soon be sporting them on the playing fields.

You have only a few days left...! So better get going!

Glenn needs some BLING! The man feels bad enough, good god.

In fact---get him for each..ear!


Thursday, December 20, 2007

John Adams and His Margin Writer

Nobody’s Opinion;

Sometimes, after turning on the morning news, I get a “here we go again” anxious feeling, and then I go into fighting mode, which usually begins with an Oreo cookies rush, followed by a few ballet kicks, to counter my cookie binge.

To get over this attack of nerves, I usually go back in history and read the writings of great men. It always calms me.

So I pulled out one of my favorite essays written by John Adams in 1765—called, “A Dissertation on the Canon and Feudal Law.” It was published in the Boston Gazette in August of that year, amidst the vociferous outcry from the Americans about the Stamp Act.

Now---John Adams and his son, John Quincy, had an interesting habit. Sometimes they marked up the books they read, usually in the margins, with thoughts and opinions about some particular argument or other that the author was making.

Most of the time, these opinions were just words like---”bull.” Which is one of the reasons I suppose John Adams did not warrant a monument in Washington.

I too have this proclivity, so I’ve decided to quote some wisdom from John and add my own “opinions” to his writings in the margins…after all, I can’t help myself.

John Adam's Margin Writer is me, and the author's message is still relevant in 2007.

John Adams: “The poor people, it is true, have been much less successful than the great. They have seldom found either leisure or opportunity to form a union and exert their strength: ignorant as they were of arts and letters, they have seldom been able to frame and support a regular opposition.”

Margin writer: You got that right, John. Things haven’t changed much. Today, so many people are living paycheck to paycheck. They are worried about paying their taxes on time, worried about getting money for emergencies…worried about losing their jobs. Both parents have to work, and finding time to organize a national movement to fight the entrenched bipartisan plutocracy that we have now, is just about as likely to happen as Ann Coulter dating Michael Jackson. They keep us divided into race, gender, and political issues. Some of us won’t even talk to our neighbors.

They keep news of Brittany Spears and Paris Hilton on television to keep our thoughts off our plight.

They keep reporting that America is fine. Our economy is great! They rule our opinions with “polls.” They basically tell us how to think. It’s become a fine art.
John Adams: “This, however, has been known by the great to be the temper of mankind; and they have accordingly labored, in all ages, to wrest from the populace, as they are contemptuously called, the knowledge of their rights and wrongs, and the power to assert the former or redress the latter.”

Margin Writer:
Once again John, you know your history. Our government is laboring really hard keeping the knowledge of our rights from us. “Rights” are never taught in our schools…the only right we seem to have it the “right to remain silent.”

America merging with Mexico is presented as a “Free Trade” affair. The citizens against this merger are called “racists” by our “greats." The screams and protests will continue to be ignored…

We keep hearing lies that our benevolent “public servants,” are nothing like the rulers of “old.” They care about the children, the sick, and the illegal immigrants.

Bull! Not always.

History is being rewritten in all our schools that only the state knows what is best for the children. Our schools have taken all parental rights from our citizens, and now the government continues their power by trying to get the kids even younger than five, where they know their message of “state control” is implemented in all synapses forever.

They say it will help them “be smarter.” Right...

John Adam: “The most refined, sublime, extensive, and astonishing constitution of policy that ever was conceived by the mind of man was framed by the Romish clergy for the aggrandizement of their own order. They were persuaded mankind to believe, faithfully and undoubtedly that God Almighty had entrusted them with the keys of heaven, whose gates they might open and close at pleasure.”

Margin Writer
: Well, aggrandizement of “orders” is an entrenched pastime with not only the Church, but also the unions heads, and Congress. It’s who you know.

Christopher Hitchens, a current poltical writer John, would have loved this statement, and would go further to say to there is no God. But this is NOT what you meant by this, because you, John Adams, believed in God.

This is one of the issues that divides the nation right now, John. The “power” of the church throughout the ages, has put many a mortal into fear and timidity as the tyrannical ruler. It was the reformation that said that it was the individual man who could know God himself. No man had the power to claim “superiority” because of his religion.

Of course, that’s exactly what the Muslims contend---and you would not have put up with their claims.

Now our politicians bring out thier religions in the name of Jesus, to steal money from the American people, to be used as they see fit. They practically run to the cross during elections.

John Adams: “None of the means of information are more sacred or have been cherished with more tenderness and care by the settlers of America, then the press. The Jaws of power are always opened to devour and her arm is always stretched out if possible to destroy the freedom of thinking speaking and writing.”
Margin Writer: Good thing you had your cousin Sam.

Right now John, the main “press” is owned by a handful of the 'few’ leaving the average citizen out of the loop. The powers that be…especially Hillary Clinton our intended to be new Monarch, wants to get hold of our 21st version of the people’s free press called the internet---a place where individuals can express their opinions and point out the avarice and ambitions of our leaders.

The internet (your Boston Gazette) and its writers are attacked daily by even conservative talk show hosts who should know better.

Soon they will tax it, like the Stamp Act. But until then, the “great’ have been wise. They are controlling its ‘search engines' so that the voices of reason are not read much.

John Adams: "The true source of our sufferings has been our timidity. We have been afraid to think. We have felt reluctance to examining into the grounds of our privileges, and the extent in which we have an indisputable right to demand them, against all power and authority on earth. Many have contracted habits of reserve, and a cautious diffidence of asserting their opinions publicity. We all know that human nature itself, from indolence, modesty, humanity, or fear, has always too much reluctance to a manly assertion of its rights. Hence, perhaps, it has happened that nine tenths of the species are groaning and gasping in misery and servitude. But what ever the cause, the fact is certain, we have been excessively cautious of giving offence by complain of grievances.”

And it is as certain, that American governors and their friends, and all the crowed officers have availed themselves of this disposition in the people. They have prevailed on us to consent too many things which were grossly injurious to us, and to surrender many others, with voluntary tameness to which we had the clearest right."

Margin writer:
Sadly John, this human nature trait is still true.

We are scared to stand up to our teachers, who fill our children with nonsense for fear they will fail them. We are afraid to stand up to unfair property taxes, wage earning taxes, for fear of jail. We fear to stand up to the Mexicans because our leaders will call us racists. We fear to stand up to a neighbor because they belong to a different polticial party and we might lose their friendship.

Do we, the American people have a right to say…we refuse to put up with a bilingual nation? We refuse to be forced to drive smaller car, eat tofu---forced to pay for other child’s educations and food in other lands when it’s the other country's responsibilities to take care of their own?

And for God’s sake---get Brittany off our TVs.
And most of all, can we go up against this great Globalization which is causing the very destruction of the very country that John Adams and our fellow founders fought so hard to start?

John Adams "I always consider the settlement of America with reverence and wonders, as the opine of a grand scene and design in Providence for the illumination of the ignorant, and the emancipation of the slavish part of mankind all over the earth.”

Margin writer: Our current president, George W. Bush has told us he is now trying to emancipate the whole world, a noble cause to be sure, but at what price?

The price of this emancipation is the very country which gave him office, only a few very rich CEO's and politicians will survive.

John Adams: “The spirit of liberty is as ardent as ever among the body of the nation, though a few individuals may be corrupted. There is the same spirte which denounced hostilities against John till Magna Charter was signed, which severing the head of Charles from its body.
"Let us dare to read, to think, speak and write.”

Margin Writer:
John, good news…the spirit of liberty that you helped still here.

We just need to get some….ba---s…I mean bull…

Oh heck John, I’m too timid to say it. We just need to show some good old American Guts and take save this wonderful book called America...
And if we have to write in the margins to do be it.


Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Pregnant With Socks

Nobody Flashes Anymore:

"You're Sixteen, you're beautiful, and you're mine!"--- I mean...pregnant!"

No, this is not Ringo Starr. I swear--- you do have to wonder about the state of things here in the United States when the top news item of the day is the fact that Brittany Spears's younger sister, Jamie Lynn, is pregnant.

The capitol can burn down, Putin can be named Man of the Year, Our President can sign an energy putting us all in golf carts by the year 2009, but nothing is as exciting as young lust.

She was such a good Christian girl. As you can see here, she tried to keep her vows of chastity.

Nobody told her that she needed to use laundry detergent.

Is her mother mad? Why should she be?

Being as nobody knew Brittany and Jamie's mother was going to release a book on Mother's Day called "Pop Culture Mom," after today, they do. Mom will be sure to sell twice the amount now! Anyone woman with no talent would love to have two daughters to keep them from ever having to work.

Whatever. the socks Lynne. Or it that Brittany? Or...MOM?


Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Protect Us From Our Protectors!

Nobody’s Opinion: Today, the thought came on me like a feather…sort of stealth like…a simple thought.

If you didn’t know better, you’d think that our government actually…is up to no good.

It’s almost like an episode of the Twilight Zone…I could almost heard Rod Sterling saying…

“Congress wants you dead, and you’re little dog too.”


Well, what else are you supposed to think?

It is the constitutional job of our politicians, first and foremost, to preserve and protect us.

Fine job they’re doing---don’t you think?

First we had the spinach scare. Don’t eat the spinach. For about two weeks everyone was afraid that the salad they ate at Taco Bell was going to be their last.

If anyone died, they didn’t report it. It was the first time I can remember that in America, everyone was told not to buy a certain food at their grocery store…be careful!

Then, we had the dog food scare. The Chinese put tons of poisoning into millions of cans and bags of dog food. Dog food inspectors, we found out, were not at the top of our government’s things to do lists.

Okay…those of us who were lucky enough to save our dogs let it go as an innocent “mistake.”

But then, we learned our kid’s toys had lead in them. Not just a few, but practically the whole lot was under suspicion, and some of these are still being sold this Christmas!

Not to worry, said Fisher Price. Just don’t let the kids play with them too long.

That was an even bigger scare… but somehow we ended up apologizing to China for accusing them of putting lead in our toys. After all, it was our toy companies fault, not their problem.

And now, if the Congress has its way, all of our food will be coming from China soon because Congress wants to pass a bill that will double the production of corn ethanol by 2022, using the very corn we eat.

They just passed this bill in the Senate, 86-8.

America’s favorite food…one used since our beginning to nourish our great nation, not to mention its animals, is going to be rationed.

Corn has been given a more important agenda by our great officials, even though it’s more expensive than oil and also will actually put more pollution in the air in the long run than the gas we use now.

Yes---all these caring, compassionate, tear-stained politicians running for office every year---the ones who tell us all about the starving children in Africa, have decided that people being able to fill up their cars and get to work, is much more important then them being able to afford their grocery bill.

Starving is an option. Not having payrolls to tax is not.

Instead of doing the intelligent thing, developing our own oil production by drilling in Alaska, Colorado, or offshore---or even building more nuclear plants as France has done, our brilliant legislatures who have regulated our automobile industry out of the country with all their “energy crisis” fuel mandates on cars, refrigerators, etc.--- will now regulate our food industry out too.

Then there’s the matter of wanting us all to climb into ridiculous little itty-bitty cars where the chances of getting killed are four times higher than in the bigger cars.

And if you don’t get killed or maimed by the truck drivers coming up from Mexico, then the many diseases that all the illegal immigrants are bringing in might kill you, along with the long waits from the soon-to-be universal health care system.

Oh…and don’t forget that pesky bird-flu coming to your neighborhood soon!

Once, our government was so concerned about protecting the American people, they checked every single immigrant coming into Ellis Island for disease.

They were refused or quarantined if found sick.

Now, while little old ladies are being stripped searched at airports, millions of Mexicans carrying new strains of TB and god knows what else, are coming over our borders and coughing in our food supplies.

And in the mist of all these problems, and after all we have learned about 9/11---while Russia, Iran, and China are building up their military strength, our government, even though they can’t seem to do anything else right, has managed to dismantled half of all our nuclear warheads in record time---a job they had until 2012 to achieve.

Wow, I feel really safe now--- don’t you?


Monday, December 17, 2007

Global Warming Hits the Nation With Ice

Nobody Flashes: While 100,000 people in Oklahoma who have lost electricity for over a week due to ice storms and snow...are burning parts of their houses just to stay warm; While another 137,000 people in Pennsylvania, who are also without electricity, likewise are trying to figure out if going into the garage and chipping ice off the family car would be worth a trip to the local bar; leaders from all over the world are still claiming the earth is warming...

What's even more amazing is that many liberals in upper New York still actually believe it.

"Man...Al Gore is right. I'm really getting hot under these four sweaters!"

And when Hanna Montana has to cancel a concert due to the cold weather, you'd think that their teenage daughters would give their liberal parents a hint.

All I can say, if this is a sample of global warming, I can't wait to see what happens if we go into an ice age.


Sunday, December 16, 2007

Nobody Reports On Monday

Here are a few nobody thoughts from this week after observing the news. No symbiosis of noxious pandering whatsoever is contained, so you’re safe.

Nobody’s Opinion: It was a crying week. Two prominent men had emotional breakdowns, but on different subjects. One guy was Dutch, the other a presidential candidate.

Despite the fact that Dutch males have made enormous IQ gains in a single generation, (according to Scientific American Mind Magazine) Yuo de Boer, a Dutch man, was not one of them. He broke down in frustration and tears at the global warming UN conference last week, because he fears the world will end. Either that---or he didn’t get included in on Al Gore’s Nobel Peace Prize team.
His floral shirt brought me to tears…of laughter.

Which makes you wonder if this means that breaking down in public means you have a higher IQ or lower?

It’s a known fact that brain damage due to strokes can cause a man to cry. And women, have that time of the month excuse.

But when I heard that Mitt Romney got teary over the Mormon faith ending discrimination against blacks…I got a little suspicious.

Where’s Jesse Jackson when you need him?

On the other hand, I don’t want to condemn anyone on this subject because I have a hard time not becoming a slobbering idiot during reruns of Bambi and Dumbo, and I always take along wads of napkins during the fireworks on the Fourth of July.

So, I’ll give these guys a pass for now.

I’m waiting for Hillary to cry…it’s the one thing she hasn’t tried yet. Seeing Hillary cry would be like watching the moon actually rotate---would we believe it?

Nobody’s Perfect: Speaking of Hillary---boy, did she take a beating this week! She made so many mistakes attacking Obama that she actually had to get out of her bullet proof SUV in New Hampshire and go to a few houses to ask for votes. And the more desperate she gets, the more she sends out her husband, the man of a thousand “I’s,” who was smarter than her and actually skipped Iowa during his presidential campaigns, proving that she is not Dutch.

Nobody Knows; This brings me to another question--- just what is this Iowa and New Hampshire caucusing stuff? Who started this? Why just those states? And why is this happening now, in the middle of winter, where most people will not even get out of their houses to vote due to the cold and high cost of gas?

But maybe that’s exactly the point.

Nobody Cares: The Des Moines Register has come out and supported a Clinton vs. McCain run. Personally, it’s hard to see the difference between the two, except that McCain claims to be more of a hawk---but is he?

Bill Clinton, Hillary’s co-President, said very recently that he thinks the military should be expanded.

So---does that mean he dismantled it just to leave George Bush vulnerable?

With statements like that, it does make you wonder.

The “globalists” have been promoting this Hillary vs. McCain contest because they know McCain will lose. All the conservatives know McCain is all for a borderless country, they will probably just stay home in 2008, thereby giving the Presidency to Hillary.

And McCain is just a bit too edgy on his stand against water-boarding. Water-boarding has save lives before. God forbid we get someone that won’t torture because, well…they remember how painful it was for them.

Nobody Wins: And speaking of water-boarding, in the movie Bourne Ultimatum, Robert Ludlum’s great character, Jason Bourne, was submitted to water-boarding by the evil head guys in the CIA, so that he would forget his real identity.

If this is true; then I suggest a new use for it---punishment for treason. Forget impeachment, it takes too long.

Nobody’s Fool: It’s December, and right out my Missouri window is a wonderful winter icing of about six feet of snow.

God makes the best cupcakes.

The weathers stations have all been reporting this national winter storm as a dastardly disaster for us all--- another sign of global warming.

The only real disaster is the continuous failure of our electric companies to take care of business like they use to.

I’m waiting for Al Gore to start crying. In the meantime, I’m building a snowman.